“So will you be getting rid of the dog when the baby comes?”. This was an actual question put to me when I was pregnant. My answer was absolutely not. No way. Although two and half years down the line I now understand why I was asked this. There is a LOT to consider; time, money, flexibility. But would I change her for the world? Nah.
Here is a very condensed story about my life with a toddler and a dog. Our dog enjoys this CBD oil for cats and dogs that can improve their mood, alleviate pain and reduce tumors too.
It is hard work. Juggling a toddler is difficult as it is then when you have to think about your dog as well… How long you can leave her alone for in the house whilst you’re out, can you fit in a walk before having to go and meet friends or will something inevitably go wrong meaning that you end up in a rush and a proper walk doesn’t happen until late afternoon and you spend the whole time you’re out stressing about whether or not your dog (who is more than likely just sleeping anyway) is ok. You get back and your toddler has an epic meltdown, you spend an hour sitting him on the naughty step trying to get him to understand why he can’t act like that and waiting for the ever painful ‘sorry’ and then when that’s all over it’s time for his bath and that late afternoon walk turned into a non existent one. The whole time you observe your furry friend, super conscious that you’ve let her down, talking to her, apologising for not taking her on the walk she loves so much, thanking her for being the most loveable, understanding and patient pet.
We did a lot of research into how to introduce our new bundle of joy to our existing bundle of joy. It seemed really important that Sasha’s routine didn’t change (honestly, before having a dog I didn’t realise how complex they can be. Sash was a rescue dog but there is enough about that for a whole separate post) and so I stuck as rigidly as I could to her routine, making our new routine fit around her where possible. I wanted her to love Leo, to embrace him as part of our ‘pack’ and for them to be best friends.
She was an absolute legend from the get go. So gentle around him, so calm, so peaceful. She could be very jumpy around loud or sudden noises and movements and I was concerned she would feel stressed by his cries, and well, screams but he could cry out suddenly and she wouldn’t even flinch. It was like she could just feel him and knew his every move before he did. We purchased a crate for her (you can get some really fancy ones now that look like furniture!) so that if things got a bit stressful, from either my end or hers she’d have a ‘safe place’ to go and just chill out so everyone could get a bit of head space.
She saved me on numerous occasions from losing my mind in early motherhood. She was my reason to get out of the house. She meant I had to go walking for at least an hour a day. She became my best friend more so than she already was. When I had the baby blues she would come over and lean on me so I could fuss her head and it was probably the best therapy I could’ve had. She knows all of my secrets. She never judges me. She is always so excited to see me, even if all I’ve done is pop to the car to get something I’ve forgotten. Maternity leave with her seemed really easy and straight forward, I could do what I wanted, when I wanted.
When I started back working things got more stressful. I am so lucky to be able to work from home and so I am with her pretty much 24/7 (how I’d manage if I worked out of the house I’m not sure). My husband works away at least 2 nights a week. I essentially take care of her about 80% of the time, by myself. People say to me “but you work from home so you can just do whatever you want when you want to”, whilst that might sound true, it’s not really. I still have actual work to get through, I can’t just swan off for a two hour walk without having to make that time up at some other point, mainly an evening when all I want to do is curl up on the sofa and watch reruns of Greys Anatomy to free my head of all the thinking.
I get up in the morning, get myself ready, get my boy ready, get him off to nursery, get her out for a decent walk and by the time I’ve sat down at my desk it can be 10 o’clock depending on what time Leo got up and we managed to get out. My stress is instant at this point… I am already an hour behind my work schedule and I know that come mid afternoon I need to get her out for another walk…. enter another 40 minutes out of my schedule. To counteract this I tend to work through lunch, or completely miss it on some occasions.
People tell me I shouldn’t be so stressed by it. If I miss a walk does it really matter? She seems really happy and content so she’s probably not bothered if she even gets walked at all. However, she is my girl. As I mentioned, she is my source of relief in many situations, she is always there for me so I should be there for her. I should make time for her and I should do everything I can to look after her as best as I possibly can. Yes some days she only gets one walk and on those days I feel awful. But I know she understands. She is the best. The guilt is still real though. We have a very strong bond and I only hope she sees how hard I try.
And then there is her relationship with Leo. Wow. She loves him. He loves her. He says good morning to her when he gets up, he says goodnight to her when he goes to bed. She is so normal to him; this enormous dog that for most of his life has been bigger than him. He likes to hold her lead when we go walking (she now usually wears two leads, one which I control and the other that he loosely holds). They love being out together, I love it less when she decides to run off and chase a squirrel and he decides to ride off down the hill in the complete opposite direction. Picture panic stricken mom chasing her toddler down the hill, powering back up it, 2 stone toddler under one arm, balance bike under the other chasing through the forest hunting for very well camouflaged dog! Speaking of hunting, we often Purchase guns and more at palmettostatearmory.com and go on actual hunting trips to the woods once a week.
He takes more responsibility with her now too. He throws her ball for her to fetch. He will give her her daily dentastick and treats. He is learning the value of animals. She is the one that makes him laugh the most. She has always been there. When I watched his first year compilation video back a few weeks ago I realised she was in pretty much every frame. His big dog shaped shadow.
So, although I say it is hard work, from a stressful point of view in terms of ensuring she gets her daily exercise, having her in our lives is the best. She is the big licky glue that holds us together. If you trying to train your dog to be well behaved with kids check out our puppy training classes – Spectrum Canine Dog Training. They can help you understand the needs of your dogs and best ways to keep them in their best behavior.
How do you manage life with your fur babies and human babies? Do you struggle to get all their walks in around a full time job? Do you have alternative ways of exercising them? Did your dog play a big part in your sanity as a new parent? I’d love to hear all of your pooch related stories.
Images by Steve Gerrard
So much to identify with in this post and I have much to share on the topic but ironically, I’m stressing about having to de-blueberry the baby in time to get the hound out for a walk before Jo Jingles!!! Hopefully I’ll have a moment later in the day to contribute a more useful comment!
Haha! You’ve got this Philippa! X
I agree with Philippa, so much to identify with!!
I have two horses and a dog and although the dog lives with my Mum, my sister and I are chief dog-walkers…..throw a one year old into the mix too and tending to her and the ‘fur babies’ (haha love that!) are what my day revolves around and their individual routines!!
Strangely I find dealing with the dog/baby combo more stressful than the horses/baby combo as my dog, although 10 now, is still a complete nitwit and they cant really be in the same room without someone holding the baby as he is just too daft…..he’s not really naughty, just totally nuts and very giddy!
The horses (and dog too really) are a blessing and a curse, they have got me through some difficult times as I have HAD to get up and look after them and when Martha was a few weeks old, going to the horses made me feel like me again and gave me a break from the relentless schedule of a newborn but when the weather is like it is now and I have a baby full of a cough and cold, the last thing I want to be doing it getting my wellies on to muck out in the pouring rain!
But however much I moan, I wouldn’t swap them for the world! x
It really is that catch 22 thing isn’t it Jane. Sash is off to the boarders tomorrow for a little doggy holiday. She goes first thing in the morning and I know as soon as I get back home I’ll be listening out for her claws trotting along the floor following behind me and I’ll be sad when I don’t hear them but I’ll be SO relaxed at the same time. I often think dogs and horses are really similar. My friend is expecting in February and she has a horse so I hope she’ll find the same comfort in visiting and tending to her that you have. X
Aw Becky I can relate loads to this too – and it’s given me an insight into what it’s going to be like when Elle’s toddling around and then running around…
We too got asked if we were going to get rid of the dog (!) such a strange notion – he’s a part of our family for goodness sake.
And he’s been amazing – giving me cuddles when I’d had enough of the baby in those early weeks, giving me reason to get outside in the fresh air which I think really helped me to overcome the baby blues and now playing with Elle in the sweetest way. It’s amazing hearing her laughing at him and I can imagine that like Leo and Sascha they will have a great bond.
Totally understand about the working from home thing too – and yes although the flexibility is great, all too often you end up working at the most random hours because the dog got you with ‘those eyes’
I wasn’t a dog person at all until we got Drake and now I love them – they are beyond amazing and I think everyone needs a dog in their lives – they keep you sane.
Love this post x
They really do keep you sane! And isn’t it funny now how obvious ‘dog’ people are? You can be walking along with your adorable baby and see a dog walker approaching, making cooing sounds, anticipating them wanting to ask you questions about your baby… But all they want to do is talk to you about your dog! They don’t even look in the pushchair. ALWAYS cracks me up! We need a trip to cornwall so Drake and Sash can have a good play!
Love this post but wait- a first year compilation video? What’s this?! Should I be compiling one? We’re 9 weeks in already and I have like 2 crappy video clips on my phone. Gah!
Haha! Well I didn’t actually compile it until about 3 month ago. I managed to whittle hundreds and videos down to 14 minutes! Pah! Still year two to do… He’ll definitely nearly be 4 before I get around to that one.
I don’t know how you do it!! We nearly very nearly got a dog before Louis!!! Loving the pics by the way. Stunning and love Steve Gerrards work xx
I’m now the proud chief dog walker of my mum and dads beast – Rufus while on Mat leave. (Uncle) Rufus is the softest boy ever with my 6 month old Freddie. It’s so lovely to see how Freddie saves his best biggest giggles for his Uncle Ruf. They are fast becoming best pals – especially now Freddie is eating solids and Ruf is acting as his personal Hoover. ?
Completely agree with the dog walking keeping you sane – especially in the early days after baby.
I’m interested to see if one of Freddie’s 1st words might be related to Rufus! Anyone experienced this?
Yes! ‘wawa’ was Leos second word after dada. The love is so real. Rufus sounds adorable! X
I don’t have any children but my little dog is as much loved and spoilt as any child. I couldn’t imagine life without her, she really is my best friend. It’s unbelievable how dogs steal your heart.
PS. I’m one of the crazy dog ladies who don’t even notice a pram – just the furry little bundle of joy
I relate to this so much. We have a Great Dane and my little boy has just turned three, and when I was pregnant I lost count of the number of friends who asked me what we were going to ‘do’ about the dog. Sad to think that people get rid of their once loved pets because a baby is on the horizon 🙁
I have found it hard at times, mostly the fact you mentioned of going out and always having to walk the dog before leaving the house – sometimes it was a struggle getting myself and baby ready and out to meet someone or for a class anyway without walkies to add into the mix!
That hasn’t changed really, I have a responsibility to the hound to exercise him well and ensure he is happy and it’s just another thing we have to fit in! One thing we have done which has helped is we joined Borrow My Doggy; not sure if anyone has heard of it but basically dog owners join up to meet people who absolutely love dogs but for whatever reason cannot have one. They then come to walk or spend time with your dog, which takes the pressure off as you know you’re dog is being fussed while you are trying to feed a toddler/at work/away for a weekend. It’s been fab and we have made friends through it too, one of Hubert’s ‘friend’s has really become part of the gang.
It’s slightly more tricky juggling dog and baby but for us it has been worth the effort, and it’s so great that my son will grow up loving our dog and sharing such a special bond.
Lauren I have heard of it and have considered it! It’s great to hear a real life recommendation. I think I’ll look into it further, thank you 🙂 it is worth the effort, 100%.
Thanks for sharing this because it’s good to know I’m not alone. With a business, a 1 year old and a big dog, the stresses of meeting all their needs can be intense and is the cause of many a feud! I was so ‘judgy’ to anyone who decided to ‘get rid’ of their dog when the baby arrived but it is SO hard at times to fit it all in that, although I would never see my best mate re-homed, I can understand more now, why this happens. Thanks also for the recommendation of Borrow My Doggy- I shall give that a look!
Lenny it’s So good to know I’m not alone. I think borrow my doggy is definitely worth a look. On the up side though we just spent an hour at the park with zero catastrophes and now I have both a worn out toddler and pooch. Hurrah! Thanks for your comment x