I am one of those people who calls my mum AT LEAST once a day. Normally about mundane things like what paint colour to choose but since having the girls it is just to natter about what they have done/said/eaten/all of the above. I also live less than 30 minutes from her and therefore cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to be on the other side of the world where seeing the family means Skype calls at random hours or a very lengthy plane journey.

Today we are excited to share the experiences of being an Expat mum in Australia from one of the original Rock My Wedding Real brides Naomi Liddell. You can see her utterly fabulous wedding here and here. I’ll hand over to Naomi to tell her story and you can follow her adventures over on Instagram.

Having a baby 9,229 miles away from home was always going to be hard.

And it certainly hadn’t factored into our plans when my husband and I set off with a couple of backpacks and a one way ticket to Bangkok a few days after we got married in 2011.

But here we are in 2015, living in Perth, Australia. Technically still on our honeymoon, but instead of a couple of newlyweds, we’re a young family of three.

For our second wedding anniversary, we booked a trip to Thailand to both celebrate and discuss whether or not we should start trying for a family that year. About 3 nights into the holiday, I woke up at 4am proclaiming “I don’t feel very well and I’m f*cking starving.” to which my husband replied… “I think you’re pregnant”. We marched the streets of Bangkok looking for a Boots (they have heaps of them there). Six pregnancy tests later, I started to believe the little blue line.

Then came the first weird moment of having a baby away from home… Telling our parents via Skype. My surprise and elation at being pregnant only slightly drowned out the very present feeling that I should be getting really big hugs and kisses right now.

As Gavin and I came to terms with my growing belly and the pregnancy progressed, life took over and I started getting excited about our new family. My Mum (who’s a pediatric nurse auxiliary to boot) even made the trip out to stay with me for the birth and the weeks after. I can’t even begin to find words that would explain just how much it meant to have her (and also my brother who was backpacking Australia at the time) there.  Because, as I’m sure many of you can sympathise… I felt way out of my depth at first. I even experienced pretty bad post natal anxiety. But by the time my Mum left, I felt like I’d absorbed enough of her worldly knowledge of babies to float this boat alone.

One thing I was not expecting to be as difficult as it was, were the days following the birth. Usually clouded in balloons, cards, cake and visitors, we had many of my close friends come to see us… But not the usual fanfare of all the nearest, dearest and their kids. It felt a little lonely at times. But luckily, I had learning to breastfeed, healing after an emergency c-section and this teeny, tiny new love of my life to keep my mind off it.

I look back to the first 6 months of very sleepless nights and my husband working unbearably long hours, 6 days a week and wonder how we managed without any family support. Ethan’s 21 months now, and as he’s grown older, it’s definitely becoming easier.

We love living in Australia. And while one day we will return home to the UK… At the moment, we’re secure here with great jobs and great weather.  So while I may have moaned a little about how difficult it’s been, there have also been some benefits of bringing up a kid on the other side of the world. The biggest, of course, is that he gets another passport. The lucky duck is now a citizen of Ireland, Britain and Australia. And if I learnt anything from that goddamn recession, it’s that options and flexibility are good things.

The other, unusual benefit I’ve found, (and I feel quite guilty admitting this one) is that I’ve enjoyed being the only authority on my son. I’ve enjoyed being able to parent and make decisions without the input, or in some cases, judgement of close family and friends. Yes, Great Aunt Clarabell may be well meaning when she tells you to let the little one ‘cry it out’ and Cousin Susan with five kids says the best way to get them to settle is to rock them. But if one ain’t your parenting jam, it can be a little hard to stick to your guns when they’re in front of you and your baby is screaming for sleep. Luckily, I could take well meaning suggestions over the phone and then go about putting my baby to bed how I wanted to, without feeling like there were big judge-y eyeballs burning into the back of my head.

Another added benefit of raising a kid abroad is that we’re now really good at packing. We’re also well versed in 24 hour plane journeys at both the little baby stage (he went through 16 nappies on a 24 hour flight, I kid you not!) and the toddler stage (which involved less nappies but way more food). So when we finally do make it back to the UK, that 3 hour flight for the family holiday in Greece is going to feel like a walk in the park.

And just for fun, here are some of the weird little differences I’ve noticed between parenting in the UK and Australia:

Eating Patterns

Kids (and most adults) eat five meals a day. Breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner. When making playdates with friends, it usually revolves around either Morning Tea or Afternoon Tea where the kids get fruit and/or a healthy take on cake and the Mum’s get to eat the ‘Cakes made just for Mummy’s’.

Mum’s Groups

The Council invite every new Mum to join a Mum’s Group in their local area after their first baby. Mum’s groups are taken very seriously and form really close bonds. My Mum’s Group has met up every single week for almost two years! Honestly, I don’t know if I would have been able to cope without these girls. They’ve been and continue to be my loving support network so far away from home.

Christmas

Typically, Christmas is celebrated on the beach in 40 degree weather, with the familiar attitude of eat, drink and be merry. But, (and I haven’t been able to get used to this part yet)… They eat seafood and salad instead of a traditional roast dinner.

Spiders, Snakes and Sharks

Checking taps and furniture for redback spiders before letting your little one play in the garden, knowing how to treat a snake bite before going bush walking and paying attention to shark sighting reports have all become freakishly normal.

BBQs

Most parks and beaches have big public gas barbecues at them. They’re in constant use and immaculately kept. Birthday parties, family gatherings and meet ups tend to be held in these parks. It’s the perfect way to celebrate without having to worry about how many people you can invite or how you’re going to clean up your house afterwards. A lot of the parks also have outdoor gym equipment!

Going For Breakfast

People go out for breakfast here almost more than they go out for dinner. Which is perfect for us parents, because meeting friends for breakfast doesn’t tend to require a babysitter. There’s an enormous independent cafe culture too. Rather than a high street of shops, there are often strips of cafe’s with a few shops dotted between them. They tend to open from 6am or 7am and remain packed until after lunch. Some places require bookings for breakfast because they get so busy.

Becoming a parent for the first time so far away from home has been an incredible experience. It’s given me confidence in myself as a Mum and it’s given Ethan some wonderful life opportunities. So while it breaks my heart every time he has to kiss a computer screen to say hello to Nanny & Granda, I know that the choice we’ve made is the right one for us at this moment in time. And I can only be eternally grateful to live in a time where cheap flights and Skype exist. The generations before us just didn’t have those options when choosing to immigrate. They said their final goodbyes and they left, hoping that occasional letters would reach home. And when I’m feeling homesick, I take great comfort in the following expat mantra “No matter where in the world you are, you’re only a day away from home”.

Are there any other expat parents reading?
What has your experience been like?