How manic is life?! Sometimes I wish it would just slow down a bit. It’s taken me a little bit of time to realise that actually, I’m in control of my life, I can set the speed and I can say no. It’s ok to say no.
There have been very few weekends this year that there hasn’t been something ‘on’. Some of those things have been big events; weddings, special birthdays etc. Some of them have been smaller events; dinner at a friends, cocktails with the girls and so on. All of these things are equally important to me.
I don’t live particularly close to my friends and family and recently my husband upped his working away days from two to four. Seeing people is important to me. It keeps me sane, it saves me from getting cabin fever. But sometimes, it’s all just a bit too much. I’m limited to what I can do mid week with him being away so everything gets crammed in to the weekend. But something needed to change. I needed to start finding time for me and more importantly for the three of us to spend some time together as a family unit and weekends are the only time we can do that. I was starting to feel like a lousy friend as well, always postponing or cancelling because I just couldn’t manage to fit it all in.
I was at a friends a few weeks ago, she had a lovely gathering where we all looked at jewellery, ate cute party food… And I drank an energy drink to try and stay awake. But it was really wonderful. A great catch up with friends who I love dearly. Then one of them asked me if I was free this month to go and see a local band and have a catch up and it just came out. Really loudly.
No.
I really want to go. But I am conscious that the weekend before there is something happening every day, on the weekend in question there is already something happening on the Saturday and Sunday and I think my brain just had a mini explosion and the no came blurting out.
But, it feels good. So good to know that actually on that Friday night next week all I will be doing is ordering a take away, sitting on the sofa with my husband who I am missing immensely and doing absolutely nothing. I can’t wait. In the past we have said that Sundays will be our day… It lasted all of two weeks but I think it’s a rule we need to re-adopt.
So, next year I am going to try and be better at saying no, and that’s both to social life and work commitments (don’t even get me started on my inability to say no to a client). Call it a resolution if you will. And I’m not going to feel guilty, I’m going to stay strong and make more time for relaxation. I will pick the phone up more to keep in touch with everyone when I can’t get to see them and I know they will understand when I say no because they are my friends and they rock.
How do you manage with saying no? Do you ever say no or have you been crumbling under the pressure like me? Do you have a ‘family day’? I’d love to know how you balance everything.
Image by Little Beanies
I block weekends in advance. I’ve already blocked weekends for 2016 (I think up to Septembre or so?). Those weekends are marked ‘R&R’ and we decide what we do. Spend a weekend at home? Spend a weekend somewhere else? Just add one dinner with his or my parents? It’s up for grabs, but those weekends are our ‘breathe’-moments.
Camille I love this idea! I am totally going to do some blocking! X
Oh Becks I hear you lovely! Being encamped at my mum’s means that quality time (and space) is even more important to the three of us! I too have suffered horrendous guilt for cancelling on friends be it because Heccy is ill at the last minute, or because I’m just so shattered to be any attempt at good company. And although Ste doesn’t regularly work away as Anthony does, his business has taken him all over the country much more this year than ever before and it’s positively rotten when he’s not about so I really feel for you. I’ve found that, at least at the moment anyway, that brunch with my favourite girls is the way forward. I usually head out when Hector has gone down for his morning nap and I’m back by the time he’s woken up which means he hasn’t missed me and Ste usually catches up on a bit of extra sleep which means he’s a happy bunny for the day. I’ve had some much needed me time and everyone is a winner. It may not work forever but I’m making the most of it whilst I can.
I actually saw one of my oldest friends (time we’ve known each other, not age!) last night for the first time in over 6 months. She only lives 30 minutes away but somehow life has seemed to get in the way. We’ve made a promise that next year we are going to see each other much more often, well maybe at least every other month, if we are realistic! Annoyingly hubby works away in the week so was reliant on grandmother babysitting duties and had to dash back. I also am going to attempt to make more time to do family things. We don’t tend to make plans at the weekends as we don’t see Edd in the week really so he just wants to be at home at the weekend. That means I have the opposite to you and don’t really see anyone. Luckily I have lots of mummy friends nearby who I see in the daytime but struggle to see friends who are further away. It also means that come the weekend I am frantically rushing around doing jobs and things I need to get done. How sad is it that I long to go to the supermarket by myself?! I therefore really need to try and have some time where we do things together even if that is just heading to the park with the girls xx
I have to say Becky, that we’ve pretty much crumbled this year.
Although we’ve seen a lot of people, celebrated with loved ones and spent time with friends and family, it’s also been the toughest year of our lives (without being over-dramatic) and I feel like I’ve completely neglected my own well-being along with keeping on top of things like housework and home improvements.
Lee and I have both agreed that we need to start saying no. There’s a worry that it might offend some people, but I think on the whole, if someone knows you and loves you, then they understand… and the chances are they’re feeling the same too!
Camille I like the sound of your plan to book time in!
New years resolution right there… I wonder how long it’ll last xx
I think I need to take a leaf from your book. I always say yes if I am able to and never really turn down anything to just have a break. That might be a resolution for next year x