Mabel has a problem with her L’s. She simply misses them out. It’s kind of sweet when she’s babbling away, not so much when she’s shouting at the top of her voice in the middle of a shopping centre about the “BIG CLOCK”…
Yes that’s right folks, my soon-to-be-two year old angel-faced daughter essentially yells “Mama! Look! BIG C*OCK!” whenever the moment takes her or we happen to be walking past a store that sells watches. As you can imagine I die a little bit inside every time this happens. And the effort to “shhhhh!” or try and encourage the correct pronunciation is usually met with a frown and a rather indigant “But Mama, BIG C*OCK?” (pointing) “There There Mama! BIG C*OCK!”
No, I don’t know why she has to add the sizing adjective every time either.
To add to Mabel’s apparent obsession with time pieces that sound distinctly more like male nether regions, when putting together two words for whatever reason Mabel cuts them in half, add this to her cute lisp and “Bunny Rabbit” is essentially “Basht Sh*t” or basically Bat Sh*t….
Mabel takes her Bunny Rabbit nearly everywhere with her. I have endeavoured to try and swap it for a cuddly cow, a small fluffy sheep, a squeaky penguin…but no.
Bat Sh*t it is then.
In recent weeks the whole telling-the-time scenario has become increasingly less popular. Hooray! I no longer have to try and do some kind of military precision planned diversion whenever we’re in the vicinity of a branch of Goldsmiths.
And just as everything seemed to be improving in terms of being slightly less red faced when out in public, I have made the mistake of attempting to bribe Mabel with a square or two of Dairy Milk in exchange for various items from my make-up bag that she is so fond of half-inching (Bad bad mother). Mabel now frequently asks for “Choc”, only like with the letter L, it turns out she misses out H’s too.
Unfortunately confectionery is significantly more prevalent on our daily travels than clocks.
“Mama Mama! C*oc! pleeeease!”
Oh well, at least she has impeccable manners.
If you are reading this on the day it’s published it will be a Monday – now nicknamed by the team at Rock My Towers as “Manic Monday” complete with The Bangles track of the same name as our theme tune (apologies in advance if you now can’t help but sing this all day, further apologies if you have no idea what I’m talking about – you are probably too young.) I’m not sure why Mondays have become so mental, probably because we’re so busy, and the vast majority of us have kids, so we’re probably still suffering from a weekend of being a constant entertainer and tantrum reducer. Anyway, if you’re also feeling Monday-ish (or manic) then please feel free to share your little’s alternative use of the English language in the comments box below and treat yourself to a strong coffee and tube of mini eggs.
Or gin. Gin is also good.
Photography by Little Beanies
Flora was walking behind me having picked up two sticks the other day. Seems she says the “st” as a “D” sound. Singing away up herself, “Two di*ks”. On repeat. I had to take a wobbly, chuckling, pram-pushing video to send my sis! Xx
Ha hahahahha! There have been several videos of Mabel made and sent too Sophie 🙂 x
My niece used to pronounce “st” as “d” too and one time on a lovely country walk along a busy canal she decided to pick up a branch and shout to everyone: “Look at my big d*ck!”
Mabel asks for what sounds like d*ck when she is requesting a breadstick….at least these things seem to amuse passers by rather than horrify them (well, so far anyway!) x
Oh my goodness this post has made laugh.
My little girl also has a problem with saying clock. One time we actually had a very loud conversation around daddy’s big c*ock.
But she also can’t say thank you. Her th’s sound like w’s. Can you imagine the looks of horror when she thanks various people for whatever kind gesture she’s been shown, and instead of thanking them tells them to …. errrr well you get it !
Fist pump has also become a new problem, after seeing hero 6 she wants to fist pump everyone she meets. But instead of a f sound we get a p sound, and she totally leaves off the t at the end. So lots of bemused expressions as a 3 year old starts demanding a p*ss pump. With her fist inching towards them.
I love the way children say things wrong or mix words up, I write them all down to laugh about in the years to come!
That’s a good point Emily, I really should write everything down! x
Clearly a trend with the ‘st’ sound. My daughter is obsessed with that classic julia Donaldson story “d*ick man”
Isla has the same problem with the word clock and instead of sit, she says sh*t. I often hear her shouting at her dolly and baby “Sh*t down dolly and baby!”
Hee hee! This made me chuckle a lot on my way to work. Noah also says ‘big c*ck’ (big clock) but thankfully so far, just in our living room when he sees Big Ben at the start of Mary Poppins.
He also say’s ‘Sh*t down p*ss’ (sit down please) x
Ha ha hahaha, Why do they insist on saying “big” in front of the word C*ock all the time?! Mabel does it even when it’s a rather small watch….
Also Sh*t down P*ss” has amused me no end.
That’s really made me giggle on a Monday morning!
When Milo was about 18 months or so, he had an obsession with all things Bob the Builder related and my Mum kept buying him all the vehicles whenever she saw them in car boot sales or charity shops so he built up quite a collection. His favourite one was a purple fork lift tractor. He would name things in quite a descriptive way, so there was a ploughing tractor, a pulling tractor etc so this one was obviously called the forking tractor (!) which would have been fine had he not been quite so obsessed with it, had to take it everywhere with him and kept dropping it, so we’d be half way round the supermarket and he’d randomly shout what sounded like, Mummy where’s my f*cking tractor! The shame! xo
I know I shouldn’t laugh Kim but…..ha hahahaha! x
Oh, and when we went to singing class there was a song that went “tick tock, tick tock, goes my Daddy’s big clock”! Which obviously all the babies used to sound like c*ck and you can imagine amused us poor sleep deprived Mums no end!
They TOTALLY did that on purpose ?
Bahahaha, this post has had me in stitches during my lunch break. My almost two and a half year old is of course no exception. He used to walk round saying ‘bugg*r when he was talking about a burger. We were lucky enough that he calls any clocks ‘tick tocks’, so managed to miss out on the whole c*ck scenario. He did shout out in a lift once that ‘mummy has lulu’. We were in the lift with another family with young kids, so I just brushed over it and hoped they hadn’t heard, haha. I’ve had to resort to telling him mummy has a lulu as he kept saying I had a willy, which I clearly do not. So hope he doesn’t shout that out somewhere! x
Amy I have to confess, I’ve never heard of the expression “lulu” before so I would have been none the wiser!!! x
My absolute favourite muddled swear word came from my son who had a really struggle to say the word “Blanket” it came out as “W**ker!”
Oh the shame when he spotted a lady wearing a tartan cape in the supermarket and proceeded to point and shout “W**ker!!” at her every time we passed!
Pah hahahahahahhahahahaha I just spat out my tea!!!! (there is no gin in it, yet….) x
We get c*ck instead of choc on a regular basis – “c*ck please mummy”, “like c*ck”, “c*ck nice” etc… you have to laugh! His daddy supports Arsenal – or A**hole as Noah likes to call them. He has little football jersey, which is his “A**hole top”. Nice.
At least your toddler is doing it inadvertently.
I am the owner of a 3 year old who very clearly dobbed her brother in for doing something by responding to his plaintive “no I’m not” with “yes you bl00dy f*cking are”. In front of my in laws.
Cue a lot of red faces. I blame her daddy.
Oh Sara! It’s so difficult to watch your Ps and Qs in front of them though – James is forever giving me “the look”….
On a trip to the Cotswold Wildlife Park with one of my besties, her darling daughter caught sight of a lady with a flag sticking out of her backpack. Cue pointing, weird stampy dancing and shouting at the top pf her voice “FLAG! FLAG! LOOK Mama, mama FLAAAAAAG!”, except she can’t pronounce her “effs# and so was actually pointing and shouting “SL****AG” at the top of her lungs much to our bewilderment and and the disgust of said lady…
In other news, one of her first words was “B*gger” which she thought was a game cue much excitement; she would utter it every time someone said “oh”.
Ha ha hahahahaha! Honestly these comments have had me dying with laughter!
Oh yes with the clock situation. But my 18 month old Samuel also says tick tock to go along with clock. Instead it sounds like tit cock. Really REALLY loud. ??
This article and the ensuing comments have made me guffaw loudly. Thanks for cheering me up on a long, cold Monday.
Kate it’s our pleasure, we hope to share more entertaining mishaps along the way…and I’m sure there will be many x
Ha so funny. I love a good toddler talk mishap.
I always remember my cousin telling me her little one asked rather loudly during a film at the cinema for some ‘C*ck Porn!’ Ha ha it still cracks me up.
x
I took my son to the library where he picked up the book That’s not my Fox. He can’t pronounce the ‘X’ so just kept shouting F*ck at the top of his voice. He also has a giraffe he calls ass and shouts that loudly when he can’t find it.
My little girl isn’t talking yet but I always remember once being on a walk with my parents and my brother when he was little. His two favourite things to watch on TV were Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom film with the character ‘Shortround’ in it, and the Famous Five TV series, in which his favourite character was ‘Dick’. He was about 4 and being really slow so my mum said ‘come on Sam, keep up’ to which he responded ‘my names not Sam, it’s Shortround D*ck’. My mums face and those of the people around us was an absolute picture haha. We still tell that story often and he’s 24!!
Not accidentally swearing but on one trip to the toy shop with my almost 3 year old daughter she toddled off in front of me shouting ‘Mummy I need to buy a knife! Mummy I need a knife!’ I knew she was referring to her favourite part in Tangled when Eugene cuts her hair with a shard of glass (no idea why!) but to everyone else in the shop they must’ve thought she was an up and coming hooligan!! ? I rather loudly replied with ‘you mean a play doh knife dear, oh yes you do need a PLAY DOH knife!’ ?
I haven’t been lucky enough to have a child of my own however I have inherited 3 Step Children……I am rocking the StepMonster roll, I really am. Anyway, Darcie – 6 also has issues pronouncing certain letters & words. She for instance the other night announced we were having ‘Bassgatti Bolloc-Naise’ for dinner……! Should I be correcting her or leave that to her Mom?! I am so torn as don’t want to step on anybody’s toes plus not sure what she is teaching them in terms of punctuation etc!