For a few years when I was a kid – around the age of 9 to 11 if my memory serves me correctly, my parents employed the most beautiful gardener. Think Eddie Redmayne only with less theatrical mannerisms, and combine him with more than a dash of the Diet Coke man.
I recall the late summer afternoons when he would be in the back garden, topless, pruning the rose bushes. I swear my parent’s house had never been so popular with friends just “popping” in for a cup of tea and a slice of Battenberg. With windows all across the back which overlooked the patio and labyrinth of home-grown blooms, the kitchen was needless to say quite the social gathering hub, what with the promise of such a spectacular view.
I remember finding it quite amusing at the time, naive and clueless in the midst of my pre-pubescent youth, anyone over the age of 21 was old, and my Mother, two children and more than a decade of marriage under her belt was practically ancient. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why the pinnacle of the week was seemingly gawping at the (admittedly very handsome) bloke who mowed the lawn by the patio furniture. I swore that obviously, when I was grown up and sophisticated and happily married to someone who possibly resembled Commander William T. Riker from Star Trek (don’t judge me, he gave excellent beard) there was no way on earth I would embark on such an embarrassing recreational activity. My Mum must have been in her early to mid thirties at the time.
Fast forward to last Friday, I am at home with Mabel, it’s raining, the sky is grey and all she wants to do is watch Ben and Holly’s Magic Kingdom on repeat. There I am on the sofa, about to lose the will to live if I have to endure the sound of the bloody elf horn one more time when a rather large truck type vehicle has the audacity to park right outside our front wall. You would literally have to do quite the military trained manoeuvre just to get to our front door, and there would be absolutely no chance with a pushchair in tow.
Whilst deciding how I should politely ask whomever was the proprietor of the vehicle to kindly move the hell away from the main entrance to our home, out stepped a rather dishevelled, attractive and dare I say slightly dangerous looking fellow in green overalls. Well now, that was unexpected.
Upon further ahem, investigation, it transpired Mr Dangerous was in fact a Tree Surgeon, employed by Anne who lives next door but one to take down a large oak that I imagine, blocked out a substantial amount of light come Spring.
I decided that perhaps my request could wait, and instead I found myself re-configuring the contents of my wardrobe. Turns out the master bedroom is the most preferential place to position one’s self should you require a full demonstration of Anne’s lawn being littered with sizeable branches. Mundane chore aside, it sure beat the Disney Channel.
For those of you that are concerned by my apparent objectification of the Tree Surgeon, I just want to point out that his appeal was not purely aesthetic. I was most impressed with his obvious experience and skill in his chosen line of work. Seriously, you should have seen the way he wielded a chainsaw.
Some hours later my Mum decided to pop in for yes, you guessed it, a pot of english breakfast and a custard cream. Upon somehow managing to squeeze herself past the truck and actually through the front door she breathlessly exclaimed “Oh. My. God. Charl! Have you seen the Tree Surgeon at Anne’s??!! So dishy!”
Yes Mum. Yes I have.
It was then it occurred to me that my Friday was very much history repeating itself.
Like mother…. like daughter.
Hahaha!! I’m in the middle of some head heavy work. This was the laugh I needed to snap out of a serious-brow-furrowed-think-coma.
For what it’s worth, Gavin and I started watching Outlander for the first time last night. A rather delicious man in a kilt tells the main character “If you won’t walk, I shall pick you up and throw your over my shoulder. Do you want me to do that?” I swear, I felt all unnecessary and had to get Gavin to pause the show so I could get another glass of wine.
As my mother-in-law likes to say “I’m married, not blind.”
“I’m married, not blind” ha ha haha quite.
I’ve not heard of Outlander but my Mum does go on and on about the fact I should start watching Game Of Thrones, and I don’t think she means because of the fabulous hair-dos.
Like a burly man in a kilt? Look up Outlander.
As for Game of Thrones, my friends have aptly renamed it “T*ts and Dragons”. I’m not a fan, myself. Too big a plot and Lord of the Ring-sy for me. (Although most people don’t understand my dislike for it)
P.s. I’m waiting in hope that the Sexy Tree Surgeon’s Mrs is one of your regular readers and get’s the scoop on you and your Mum perving her man. I for one, would be proud to be in her shoes. 🙂
Outlander is fantastic, it’s on Amazon Prime – new series started a couple of weeks ago.
I still have an episode to watch as even Jamie wasn’t enough of a distraction in early-mid labour and although I watched the newest one whilst bouncing furiously on my ball, I have absolutely no idea what happened in it!
I’m feeling as if I need to watch Outlander now! And Naomi I’d be quite happy to be thrown over a shoulder by a sexy man in a kilt 😉
Wouldn’t we all Lauren… Wouldn’t we all.
Literally the best thing I could read on this Thursday morning. Hilarious. And true… who doesn’t want to look at a tasty tree surgeon/gardener/dentist?!
Charlotte… Meet Game of Thrones heart-throb Kit Harington a.k.a Jon Snow… Yes please!!!
Ha ha Vanessa, my Dad was a dentist… Think Mum preferred gawping at the gardener though 😉
And I seem to recall her mentioning this Kit bloke (!) Xx
Vanessa, random fact. Jon snow (well kit) is from my home town and Went to the local sixth form (he is much younger than me though!!!) he has been known to frequent the local bars on special occasions, probably Christmas, with his mates. Sadly I’ve yet to see him, probably as I don’t get many an opportunity to frequent said bars. Must make an occasion I think!!!
Ermmm Lottie perhaps a RMLtd team meeting at Christmas at the local bars near you should be arranged….
Absolutely lolly!
I can remember that my mum fancied Patrick Swayze when I was young. I was more interested in twirling round to Dirty Dancing and saying “nobody puts Baby in the corner”, but now I have to admit how hot Patrick Swayze was as Johnny Castle.
Hmmm, Anne’s oak tree doesn’t look like it needs any attention…a ploy to get the sexy tree surgeon round me thinks…
This totally reminds me of the Carly Rae Jepson video for her song Call Me Maybe (really sad that I know that, and hoping I’m not the only one…) Isn’t it funny how gardening is such a ‘sexy’ job! I can’t imagine anyone getting this excited about Monty or Alan!
(Apart from maybe Karen or Lolly – hehe) x
erm… that would definitely happen. I mean, he’s aged well but young Monty was a dream <3 x
case in point: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/10/02/13/0021167100000258-0-image-a-17_1443787312802.jpg
DREAM FOREARMS xxx
I have to concur Karen – Monty was seriously hot and I hope Ste ages as well as Monty has. There’s something about a man getting back to nature and digging up soil. Hmmmmm……
Strong and manly, yet nurturing and gentle.
…okay, I think I’ve gone too far now…
I am not going to be able watch Gardener’s World in the same way now. Crikey!
Me neither Helen, me neither!
And OMG those forearms!!! I think I may be a convert…x
Well this has definitely cheered up a thankless two hour stretch between two interviews (I hate job hunting)!
Charlotte you have to find him and make up some extravagant lie about a gardening feature for RMS about tree surgery. With photos. On a hot day.
I bet he has lovely strong hands x
Hahaha! ^^^ This please…
Haha! Love this story. My uncle has the middle name David being named after the actor who plays Ducky in NCIS. Personally I don’t see it now but 50 years ago he was a catch to my 10 year old mum who got to pick the middle name! ?
Also outlander yes! (It is also on Netflix) I have just started watching it and we all know how I love a man in a kilt! So I was happy to watch even though I knew nothing about it but the first episode was not what I was expecting at all! I am loving it! ❤️