Hands up, I was not aware of the term ‘push presents’ before I had kids. I still feel it’s a bit of an odd phrase as am in no way insinuating that we deserve presents for having a baby. Although, it is bloody hard work and even those who had a straightforward labour will probably say the same.
The other day the team were having a chat about this subject and it seems I was the only lucky recipient of a present following the birth of Molly and Alice. The boy did good.
I was by no means expecting a present. In fact I outright didn’t want anything. When we had Molly we were in the middle of renovating our house and all our money was tied up in mundane jobs like damp proofing. In fact whilst I was in hospital with Molly our house was being rewired. That was how bad it was. So I was most definitely not expecting the little parcel that awaited me upon our return home.
After a few days in hospital I came home and on the fireplace sat a bag from the jewellers where Edd had purchased my engagement ring and our wedding bands. I opened it up and inside was the most beautiful diamond eternity ring. It was super sparkly and super gorgeous. As much as I knew we probably shouldn’t be spending money on something like this I couldn’t help but smile – It wasn’t just the material side of things that I loved it was the thought that had gone in to it.
Whilst I had been in hospital Edd had taken my engagement ring and wedding band telling me that he thought it would be safer to have them at home. He had then taken them to the jewellers to have them cleaned and to check the size of the new ring. He told me the ring was because I had got Molly here safely after what had been a very stressful last few weeks of the pregnancy due to serious complications.
I adore my ring. Love it.
After I had Alice I again was not expecting a present. I’d had a ring already after all. So when I walked back in to the house to find a giant bag containing my much coveted Mulberry Bayswater I was in disbelief. I actually didn’t want it. Ok, I did but my sensible side kicked in and I told Edd to return it. We’d just had a baby, I was back on maternity leave and most importantly we needed new stair carpet!! Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so sensible/boring/careful with money and could just accept a lovely gift when I’m given one. I refused to unpack it for three days. I was adamant I shouldn’t have it. After a few days, in a sleep induced state, I took it out the bag and oh my, it was lovely. I have used it almost every day since.
I do not think I deserved a present. I didn’t expect them either. But oh my, they are such lovely presents. And do you know what, I’m rather pleased I have them. They are little reminders of how our little family has grown.
Did anyone else get a present from your other half after having your baby and what do you think of the whole concept?
I think this is a lovely idea! Your husband did good. I wasn’t really aware that this was a ‘thing’ until my friend was treated to a lovely Joules tweed jacket from her husband after giving birth. I may have made of couple hints to my husband over the next few months of pregnancy (us women go through a LOT). I didn’t get a gift and to be honest I really didn’t expext one and that was the furthest thing from my mind when the biggest gift of all, our baby boy was places into my arms.
(A Mulberry Bayswater would have been lovely though ?)
What you say is so true, the baby is the biggest gift of all. Such a sweet sentiment xxx
My husband gave me a beautiful Tiffany & Co bracelet with a little blue heart following the birth of our son. I wasn’t really expecting anything so it was a lovely surprise and I’ve not taken it off since then. He had written “To my Mummy” on the card so maybe it’s meant to be from our son! That caused a few tears though – I was someone’s Mummy!
Being someone’s mummy is the best xx
Wowsers you are one lucky lady. Your hubby is a man in a million. The thought that went into your pressies is so sweet – he obviously knows you well.
I was introduced to push presents when a couple of my friends had babies and received eternity rings. We weren’t married when I had my little boy so a ring didn’t feel right. Instead my other half surprised me with a Tiffany bracelet with a blue heart on it, a spa day and £100 to spend on something frivolous – which I did happily! It was just lovely to know he appreciated everything I’d gone through over the 9 months and a difficult birth.
That sounds like the most welcome and thoughtful gift. What a gorgeous combination and you lucky lady xx
I have conflicting thoughts on the concept. Possibly because the name ‘push presents’ makes me feel a bit….bleurgh (excellently articulated!).
On one hand, I am a big fan of celebrating/marking all happy moments and everyone doing whatever they wish to do so. My husband bought me an eternity ring around the time out eldest turned one and one day I hope to pass it on to him so he in turn can use it to mark a happy moment in his family.
On the other hand, the thought of asking for a gift is something I find distasteful (or something like that). I had very difficult pregnancies but still don’t feel like I deserved a gift for being the woman in the scenario as my husband paid the price himself in worry and taking care of me when needed.
So in summary (of this very long comment!), I think of either parent wants to mark the occasion of course they absolutely should, it’s a joyous time and I’m sure the non birthing parent often wants to give their partner a gift as they feel so grateful/awestruck of what they have just physically done. But asking for it/expecting it is what makes me uncomfortable, I think.
(And Lottie, I loved the Mulberry story, I’d be exactly the same with worrying about the practicalities. A lovely story to tell the girls one day!).
I hate the term too, it is exactly as you said, bleurgh. It was just a shorter way of saying ‘Did you get a present when you had your baby?’. I’m very like you and didn’t really feel I deserved it, and you are so true what you say about the man worrying. I also love the idea of passing the ring on. I thought the same with the girls but think perhaps I might need two so they have one each….. xx
I agree that I too am a bit uneasy about the idea of a push present and it wasn’t something I ever wanted or expected. 4 weeks after our son was born I was having a terrible day (first growth spurt plus heatwave!) and jokingly told my husband I needed a present to cheer me up. He came home with some flowers and a dominos pizza which were perfect but then he also pulled out a small box that had a gold necklace inside from catbird nyc. It has a small moon charm engraved with his initial and a star with our son’s and I wear it every single day. A couple of weeks after we had our daughter a new star charm with her initial arrived 🙂
Oh Martha what a lovely LOVELY gift x
This necklace sounds beautiful. I’m off to check them out. It is nearly Christmas after all! Although in fairness I reckon I would have been happy with the flowers and domino’s 4 weeks in! xx
I haven’t had anything for no2 yet but for no 1 I.got a beautiful diamond bracelet. Totally couldn’t afford it and that was the last time I got a piece of special jewellery. My brother in law thought an eternity ring was called a maternity ring!
Love this Kathryn, maternity ring is an excellent term if you ask me. Oooh, I love a bit of sparkle and the diamond bracelet sounds beautiful. You lucky things xx
I think as long as you don’t request one (I know friends who have practically written gift lists!) then it’s quite a nice gesture. I mean, who’s going to say no to a new sparkly ring or a Bayswater?!
I have told my husband not to buy me anything though as he has been known to be overly generous, bless him. He bought me an enagament present (in addition to the ring of course!) I mean who does that?! So I told him he really doesn’t need to buy me a push present. To which his response was, ‘I had no idea that was even a thing!’ Seems I needn’t have worried! x
I don’t think I could ever request a present like that either. I actually specifically told Edd that I didn’t want him to buy me anything after Alice. An engagement present sounds a wonderful idea, I think we should put that as a new trend on Rock My Wedding xx
Ha yes I think you should! My hubby said that he read somewhere that you’re meant to buy your future wife a present – so thank you to whoeever put that out there! x
Perhaps just send him a link to this as lots of lovely suggestions coming through in the comments 🙂 x
Off topic…. but Lottie, you look gorgeous in this photo! Love your hair and that jumper is such a good shade on you! xx
Ah, thanks so much Sian. You’ve made my Monday morning. It’s my favourite new purchase from Oasis. Love a bit of pink xxx
I second that Lottie, looking hot! X
I’m blushing xxx
I didn’t actually push at all (Mabel was delivered by C-section) so the phrase does make me laugh and cringe in equal measure. However I did receive a beautiful diamond ring not long after Mabel was born, like Lottie my husband bought it from the same store where we purchased our wedding bands. I wasn’t expecting it but it was a lovely thoughtful gift and is a perfect reminder of that particular adventure. x
My husband bought me some chocolates and perfume when I had our daughter, not up there with diamonds or Mulberry, but it was such a sweet gesture from him that I didn’t expect and the words he had written in the card were worth far more than anything he could have bought.
I love a good card more than anything. I hope you’ve kept it somewhere safe to show your daughter when she is older? I have a huge pile of cards from over the years but I can’t bear to get rid of them xx
I didn’t get a present when our baby was born and I never really understood them. I’d wanted a baby for such a long time and when she finally arrived there was honestly nothing else I wanted. But I was sad about leaving her to go back to work and on the last day of my maternity leave my husband gave me a necklace with a bean on it (bean is our baby’s nickname) so I’d always have bean with me even when I was at work. I had no idea my husband could be so thoughtful and cried a lot!
I just did a little ‘ahhhhhh’ as that is just the cutest xxx
That is so adorable Kat! Bought a little tear to my eye! xx
Ah Kat I cried too, how utterly adorable xxx
Reading all the gestures however big or small is making me very emotional this morning. Such thoughtful partners. xxx
It was the other way round for us! After a long and difficult labour, our son ended up in neonatal for a week; after we finally got home I ended up back in hospital with acute pancreatitis, which meant my partner was left home alone to cope with a 4 week old baby and travelling an hour each way to visit me everyday! He was just so totally brilliant, calm and supportive throughout everything that when i was finally home it was me buying the presents!
It may sound silly but i brought him a massive lego millennium falcon; it was supposed to say “its all going to be ok, the fun stuff is still to come”. Its safely stashed in the attic unopened, waiting until our son is old enough to be able to help build it.
LOVE this!
I shan’t let my husband read this as he will be SO jealous. He would adore a lego millennium falcon. Bet you got serious brownie points. Such a lovely idea xx
After having my first, my husband gave me a Tiffany necklace which was beautiful, however, I’m not a jewellery wearing kind of girl. I think he felt the need to get something after hearing his friends buy presents for their wives. After having my second there was no grand gesture like the first time but my present was much more needed…a Zara shopping trip for some normal clothes. Much more use, much more me, and a lot cheaper!
I wan’t aware that there was such a thing as a “push present” until a couple of months ago and the term does make me cringe. I think it sounds crude (there must be a nicer phrase!), but also, as I didn’t have the most conventional of births, it feels like I did not earn one by not pushing.
That said, after the birth of our daughter 17 months ago I returned home from hospital to a beautiful Tag Heuer watch. It came with a lovely note, saying that it was to celebrate my time as a mummy beginning.
It is perfect and I wear it every day, but I am being very strict in saying that I don’t want any presents when baby two comes along next year.
I also dislike the term push present but hypocritically really wanted an eternity ring! In the end I received it as my birthday gift for the first birthday as a Mama. I love it so much, tend to just wear it and my wedding band these days as they are nice and flat.
I think the most important gift you can receive is time. My husband was brilliant about me having time to run, ride, and be me, as soon as I felt like doing those things again. But yeah it would have been nice to come home to sparkles instead of dropping enormous huffy hints for months. I’m an unappareciative grouch I guess.
I love all these stories, some really thoughtful ideas. I didn’t know it was a thing until I did NCT and people were saying what they had asked for! I very much doubt my husband knows it is a thing even to this day. He bought me some flowers for when I returned from hospital, fish and chips and a bottle of prosecco. I’d been in hospital for a while so they were perfect. I then got some cash for new summer clothes as none of my pre-pregnancy clothes looked the same xx
I have to say I really never wanted a present (nor did I get one) and I find it a truly odd concept. Each to their own!! My husband bought me a lovely overnight serum thing when our daughter was about 6 weeks old (and I had been so irrationally cross because he had abandoned me for a whole 6 hours or something!!) after we had a bit of a rocky start to our daughter’s life, which was lovely and more than I expected. We were also in the midst of building works so I would have been immensely cross if he had spent money on anything really, and I truly didn’t want anything. He has given me the best present by being a wonderful daddy, and helping take care of her every day. I couldn’t, and don’t, ask for anything more.
I jokingly told my husband about this concept not knowing what it was called (awful name) but honestly didn’t expect anything and specifically told him to not get me a present and save his money. He didn’t listen though and got me a dcuk baby penguin to go with the two adult penguins we already had. I was really touched by the gesture as I had mentioned getting a baby one at some point.
I have a feeling that my husband is planning on getting me something (jewellery based) when our first is born next month. As it will be so close to Christmas I’m also planning on buying him a gift from our brand new little one so we both have something in years to come that reminds us of this amazing experience we’ve been through together.
Lol! I told my husband this was a thing and dropped numerous hints, but 2 babies down and no spontaneous gifts! ?
I’m quite in awe of all the above stories and how thoughtful men can be… I need to get mine in check! My other half didn’t bother buying anything for my first Mother’s Day as he thought I wouldn’t want to celebrate ?! Needless to say he won’t be doing that again ?… I’ve still not forgiven him!
On a separate note, I also have the catbird moon & stars necklace with my husband and sons initials. Obviously I asked for it, he would never have found that website, but it is gorgeous and I’d recommend it to anyone wanting something sentimental for Xmas. Their whole website is amazing! ?? xx
Oh Sarah. Maybe he might get the hint one day. Edd may have done well with the pressies after birth but he’s not always so great. He also didn’t bother on my first Mother’s Day. In fact he spent it at Twickenham watching the rugby with his friends and came back without even a bunch of flowers if that makes you feel better. I really want to copy you and get that Catbird necklace now. It’s so lovely. I presume the ship to the UK ok? xx
They do ship to the UK but can end up getting stung on import tax etc so be prepared!
After 7 years together I’m still waiting on Andrew buying me flowers so he would have no idea about this concept! It’s painful enough writing my birthday & Xmas list each year – despite the list he claims I’m too hard to buy for! Early in our “courtship” he bought me a penknife for camp and set up wireless Internet so if if need anything practical I’m set!
I too was the very lucky recipient of a gorgeous red Mulberry Bayswater bag from my awesome husband. I had been out walking the dog with my mum and baby one Thursday afternoon when Franklin was about ten weeks old – perfectly ordinary normal kind of day, I get home and husband says I’ve done something silly, you better go in the living room and have a look…there on the sofa sat my also much coveted Mulberry. Completely unexpected, total surprise and all the better for it. I joked he should get me one as I didn’t get one as my wedding gift (which I did drop hints for) but never imagined he would. Needless to say I’m a very happy mummy…who won’t be getting any more presents for the next 10 years, according to the card that came with it!!
I have to admit having seen the header image I was half hoping for a hair tutorial! Maybe another post? You really look lovely Lottie. I was treated to some flowers when we got home and thought that was good going for my husband. Like others have said I didn’t really need another present other than the baby but if my husband pushed the boat out I wouldn’t be complaining either x
With #1, my husband bought me the most beautiful diamond eternity ring. When I had #2, he bought me another diamond eternity ring as he thought you were meant to buy a push present after each child! Bless him!