I’ve always loved the toddler years. Granted there are the inevitable tantrums and battles for power but so much more than that are the huge personalities that these miniature humans possess. The eight year age gap between me and my youngest sister means that I can remember her cutesy toddler period very clearly, so when I found out I was pregnant with Hector it was this stage I was most looking forward to after he was born.
And lo and behold, I’ve blinked and suddenly Hector is two and a quarter years old and we’re right slap bang in the middle of toddlerdom and I have to say it’s the best phase yet. I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated the ability to verbally communicate so much as I do now. Knowing what he wants makes life so much easier and the inevitable comedy factor when he mixes up his words or unknowingly places emphasis on certain parts of a spoken sentence brings his dad and I so much laughter.
I don’t suppose for a moment that these quirks are unique to Hector; in fact I know from friends and family and from you lovely lot that ALL toddlers do this in their own way. That it’s just a part of being a kid I suppose and understanding how the world works and their interpretations of it. But what I am fascinated by is how developed his personality already is even at such a young age.
I’ve talked at length previously about his obsession with cars, trucks and bikes which you can read here if you missed it first time round. And whilst this will always be his first love I’ve been surprised by his passion for dancing too. This kid likes to throw some serious shapes – not something he’s ever really seen his mum or dad do (I tend to only dance when I’ve had copious amounts of gin!) so where on earth has he got this from.
I’ve been especially guilty of thinking that Hector has learned everything from us, from our immediate family but that’s such a reductive way of thinking. How naive of me to take such a view. He is quite clearly already his own person with personality traits unique to him.
Of those that know him, be it his teachers at nursery or my close girlfriends, all have commented on his compassion and kindness towards others. He’s the first to pick up a toy that another child has dropped and hand it back to them, dishes out cuddles by the truckload to those individuals he knows are sad and is gentle beyond compare with any animal he meets. That’s not to say he’ll give you a kiss though…oh no…you may bestow smooches on him but you can think twice if you’re getting one back! His current obsession with mummies and babies extends to his cars also and he gets obviously upset whenever he watches a particular episode of Paw Patrol where a baby whale gets stranded on a beach and the mummy tries to rescue him. It breaks my heart in two watching him hold back the tears.
But boy oh boy has he got a temper, I’ve been that mum trying to hide my blushes when Hector has decided to throw a tantrum in public because he can’t get his own way. I confess pre-children, I would have been the first to have commented on such a badly behaved child and now I’m the one reasoning with a frustrated two year old because I won’t buy him a magazine with a make it yourself DeLorean. Will this continue into his adulthood? Only time will tell but woe betide anyone that gets in his way if it does…
I’ve learnt that Hector is a bit of a control freak (actually he probably gets this from his mama) and if you really want to persuade him to go somewhere or do anything then he needs to think it’s his idea to begin with…sounds like a few adults I know too.
He’s bossy too, very bossy. Much worse than me and that’s going some according to my younger sisters. We recently visited a Magic Lantern light display before Christmas and he demanded to move on every time a particular set up didn’t match up to his expectations. “No way, mummy, no way!! That way!“. And when I read this article in the Huffington Post, it made me laugh because it was Hector down to a T. I have to say that such intricate car play has done wonders for his fine motor skills which are as precise and delicate as any ten year old’s.
It’s clear he’s creative. He adores make-believe especially when I make up little voices with his Playmobil people and Ste and I are regularly brought pens and paper so that we can draw his most favourite vehicles in 2D form that he then critiques for accuracy; I mean what has my life come to when I’m being assessed by a two year old that can just about draw a circle! I’ve also become a master builder of fort-building to boot. That’s probably my favourite form of play…that and Hector’s version of hide and seek. Let’s just say he hasn’t quite grasped the concept of this game yet.
Perhaps most of all I love his cheeky face; he’s definitely got his mischeviousness from his dad and the two of them are the only people in the world who are guaranteed to make me smile in an instant when I’ve been in the grumpiest mood.
But that’s enough of me wittering on. I’d love to hear about your own toddlers’ personality traits; is there anything you can see yet in their behaviour that you know is the essence of who they are rather than a passing whim of a two/three year old? Are you as amazed as I am that these characteristics manifest themselves at such a young age? Actually when I write it down it seems rather silly that I’m so surprised, they are miniature people after all.
Anyway I’d love to hear your thoughts so why not share your anecdotes and stories in the comments box below.
Aw Lolly… I usually only ever get the urge to cuddle my own kid… But it seems that if Hector were around, I’d likely want to scoop him up and squeeze him. He sounds too cute!!
As for Ethan… He’s about to become a three-nager and the only think making this evident is his building levels of *sass*. Serious sass. Last night, Gavin asked him to put his step away after washing his hands, to which he replied:
“No thanks Gavin, I think you’ll be doing that.”
I mean whhhhaaattt? Gavin and I had to quickly step into the downstairs loo to stifle the giggles. He’s also taken to calling us by our first names for some reason.
Other than that, he’s got kindness and curiosity by the bucketloads and while I’m not particularly broody, part of me does wonder what other little personalities Gavin and I could produce. Like you, I was firmly in the camp of ‘nurture’ but the older he gets, it’s quite clear he was born this way.
Great… Now Lady Ga Ga is traipsing around in my head.
Ahhh thanks Naomi…and Ethan sounds like my kind of man 😉 Maybe one day our boys could meet up…I think Hector would adore Ethan too. As for the giggles, there’s been plenty of chewing the inside of our mouth moments when we’ve tried not to laugh at a bit of comedic insolence. I can remember one time when I was telling Hector off and I had the whole of my family standing behind him, shoulders shaking and smirking because the whole situation was really very funny so I love the idea of the pair of you in the downstairs loo laughing together.
I think Becky’s Leo had a phase of calling her by her first name too for a little while…might be worth asking her how long it lasted for.
My little girl is so like her father in personality- I often look at her and think how did you come from me! This was particularly obvious when we went out for a family lunch and the two of them sat contentedly colouring in, absolutely absorbed. I hate (and always have hated) colouring! The pair of them are so meticulous and tidy: “put away Mama” is a regular refrain. Her love of books IS all me though- at 22 months we often catch her just sitting looking through her books and it’s the major tantrum source if we won’t read a certain book right now!
Speaking of which… this girl has had a will of iron since the day she was born. A much older child physically pushed her off a car at playgroup- before any grown ups could intervene she gave him a look of pure disdain and pushed right back then went off in the car leaving him staring after her! Is it bad I felt really proud of her??!!
Really looking forward to comparing and contrasting with #2! My brothers are twins and very different- any twin mamas with stories to tell?
I love the vision of your little girl sat in the corner surrounded by books – Hector too has inherited his love of books through me and in turn has given his Dad the opportunity to explore this world which he didn’t really get to do when he was small. I wish though that Hector had some of your little girl’s will of iron; I have watched situations where other kids have taken things off him and he never fights back which worries me a little bit. Will he be a pushover? I hope not. So I totally get your moment of private pride…a sense of knowing that they will be able to fight their corner so to speak. And yes…very intrigued to hear how things will be different with no 2….
My son is 17 months and his personality is already shining through. He tidies his toys away and picks up any tiny bit of dirt or fluff off the floor and says ‘dirty’ whilst pulling a disgusted face. At playgroup last week a little girl had dropped crumbs from her biscuit and her bought them over to me ‘dirty mummy’. It cracks me up. Also when we tell him to smile for the camera he pulls a really funny awkward smile, Chandler Bing style. Where do they get these things from? I am loving his age and watching him grow into a little boy.
These boys are funny aren’t they Anna! Hector really doesn’t like dirty or sticky hands although he couldn’t care less if any of the rest of him is covered in mud and we have to say cheese every time we pose for the camera too!
Ethan’s the same with dirty hands. I’m no clean freak, but sometimes he insists on having his hands cleaned several times during one meal. Hilarious when it’s spaghetti and the sauce all over the face goes unnoticed but the hands *must be clean!!*
The littles in my family are just hitting the 18 month and 2 year point and it is fascinating seeing them come into their own and their cheeky personalities come out. As lovely as the newborn cuddles are I much prefer them at this stage. Over Christmas we had a very confused Sarah who kept telling us off for saying ‘stocking’, she was adamant that we were hanging socks on the fireplace. I suppose she’s right – just very big socks!
This is such a nice post, and has sort of reminded me to take a step back because I have a threenager who I am NOT enjoying at the moment. She has moments of loveliness (asked me how ‘baby ogres’ was on Friday – her sister and I had been to baby yoga!) but quite a lot of the time she’s a stroppy, strong willed little madam. I feel like I’m ALWAYS telling her off, which makes me feel awful but she never ever does as she’s bloody told! Argh!
Yeah, so. Turns out I’m actually more of a baby person and not so keen on the pre-schooler phase. I’m sure it’ll pass.
Funny Sara, I’m exactly the opposite (although I may change my tune when we’re in the full throes of threenager-ness.
I wasn’t really into the baby years so much, but I’m really loving the toddler stage. I think parenting is always just swings and roundabouts.
My 17 month old is soooo like his daddy – I love it! Blonde, blue eyed, happy, laid back, loves music, only just started walking, eats for England, loves dogs. He does also have some traits of me – loves books and loves his bed! I hope these things last. Such a mix of nature and nurture – we’re so lucky to have such an amazing starting point of a human to nurture – it’s such a responsibility shaping a person and we do most of it so unknowingly and just through pure love. (Sorry such a gushing comment – bleurch!)
Love this post! My little boy is coming up to 9 months so we’re still a way behind you all, but I can’t wait to see what he’ll be like as his little personality comes out more.