Before Leo was born we had already picked out his name. I talked all about how we named him quite a while ago and so I thought I’d talk a bit about Tayo and how he came to own his name.more
Having nine days in hospital before his arrival I had plenty of time to ponder what his name might be. But do you think I could decide? Of course not. He was four days old before he had a name. I had a list, some stayed all the way through, some got crossed off and added back on again.
With Leo we had sort of agreed that he would have a more western first name with an African middle name – just like his Dad and I was really keen to carry on this tradition but we just couldn’t settle on anything.
I couldn’t remember where I’d heard the name Tayo, perhaps I’d read it somewhere but either way it came to me and on his second day in the world it was the one I was the most drawn to out of my ever dwindling list. Tayo. I really liked the sound of it so after a very quick google search you wouldn’t believe my amazement to find out that it is a name that comes from the Yoruba ethnic group in Nigeria (It also has origins in other parts of the world too). It is common practice to name your child from the language of your own ethnic group… My husbands family is Igbo. I wasn’t sure we’d be ‘allowed’ to use it.
Turns out Igbo and Yoruba people are really good friends and after a few conversations with Grandpa he confirmed that it would be totally acceptable to use the name. Although, I had settled on the pronunciation Tay-O when actually they pronounce it more like Tai-O but we all agreed as a family that in fact if that’s the pronunciation we want then that’s what we should use. Turns out that lots of people pronounce it different ways and I’m actually ok with that.
The thing that drew me most to the name? It’s meaning. It means joy or happiness and my gosh was I a happy lady when I knew he was finally here safe and sound. It just seemed so fitting for him and our whole situation. Names mean so much in the small ethnic groups that exist in Africa and babies are named for reasons, wether it be the day they were born or for the circumstance surrounding their birth so it seemed to suit us perfectly.
So, we had Tayo, which I thought might be his middle name.
We went on and on going through names. We’d found an Igbo name we loved as well… Could he be an Ozi?
The Igbo name Ozioma means good news; another extremely fitting name for our rainbow baby. I thought Ozi was cool and a name that could carry him through life but I wasn’t too sure I was brave enough to give him such an ‘outlandish’ name. Would people make pre conceived notions about his ethnicity when they saw it written on a CV? Could he go through life definitely having to spell his name? We debated it for what felt like forever. Ozioma… I wasn’t sure it rolled off the tongue. Not as nicely as Tayo.
In his heart of hearts I think Anthony would’ve loved to go with Ozi. But as it seemed this new little baby was going to in fact end up with two African names, he let me have the final say… Nothing like pressure to get it right!
I think Tayo had always been a favourite. It was on my list for a few weeks and it never came off. I felt really happy with it; it seems strong but gentle at the same time and I couldn’t get past it’s meaning.
We went with Ozioma for his middle name and I love it. To my astonishment I have had two people question me about his name… One Yoruba and an one Igbo. I have loved both of those conversations. We knew that using a mix of the ethnic groups names might be questioned from time to time, especially if he was ever to visit Nigera but I didn’t expect it from my GP! We had such a wonderful conversation, she told me all about how when she was born her parents knew she would be coming to the UK and so the name they gave her means ‘safe journey’. How wonderful. And it turns out that she is Igbo and her husband is Yoruba! It explained why she knew so much abotu his names… She even knew that Ozioma meant good news. My heart swelled.
So there you have it. I now have my Leo Obiora and Tayo Ozioma… My Obi and Ozi… My heart and my joy.
How are you getting on with choosing your babies name? Did you know straight away what he or she would be called? Was your baby left nameless for a period of time whilst you tried to fit a name to a new face? Have you got any naming traditions?
Ah man… I love this so much ❤
I have to admit, the one thing I could never settle on when waiting for our little one, was that the list of gorgeous names tucked in the back of my head all had to go in the bin. Our little one would have been given their name already; and as we were told so often ‘whatever that name is, it’s important to them, it gives them a sense of who they are, their identity and where they come from. It can’t be changed’.
I get that. I get it completely. A name like Tayo’s which has been chosen with so much love and care is special. Which in a way, is what made it ultimately difficult for us to accept.
What if our little one’s name was so outside anything that we as a family would choose? A name that would forever be questioned and set them aside. A name that didn’t quite ‘belong. Where would their sense of identity and belonging into our family, her family, the family that love and nurture her be?
That’s how I felt about her name, and coming to us a few months after turning 1 made it even tougher. She knew it and responded to it.
We were talking about it one day before she came home. We were in the car, a place where we seem to make all the big decisions, when a song we both loved came on the radio. We’ve both always been moved by music and somehow the song had already become connected to our adoption journey along the way.
There it was, the name of the song was almost the same as our little one’s birth name. Almost but not quite… could we? We knew there and then that we had her name. The way it sounded was almost identical and wouldnt make a huge difference to her at such a young age. It was a huge thing for us, it meant we could choose our baby’s name and find a way to connect it strongly to us as a little family of three.
It’s not a decision we’ve taken lightly and it was very much frowned upon. But when she asks where her name came from, I will tell her all of this. I can tell her the story of how we chose her name with love. We can listen to her song and dance and cry.
Then when she’s older, if she wants to use her birth name, well that’s okay too. It’s her choice, it’s her name. But i’m confident that my girl’s sense of self and identity will have very little to do with her name, it’ll be the fact that she’s raised as a confident and fierce young lady who is secure and loved!
Well, I never intended for that to go on for so long but there it is. How I’ve managed to write all that without sharing either name is beyond me… But you know it anyway I think. 😉
Xx
Karen that’s a beautiful story. I’m saddened it would be frowned upon, especially such a small change. I hope your daughter loves to hear the tale of her name as she grows xx
Karen. She is the luckiest little E in the world 😘💕 x
Lucy/Becky we’re the lucky ones 😘😘 She’s amazing.
Yep, we were told under no circumstances would a change be supported, which seems crazy but there you have it. For now, it’s a ‘nickname’ but we’ll have to see what happens next. Its still not over for us so I’ll just keep being vaguely cryptic and annoying for as long as it takes 🙈
We have so much respect for her birth name but it’s not ‘us’ and it’s not really her either! xx
A name chosen with love by such a lovely person.
I only know her as little E so not sure what her name is but coincidentally I wanted to name my little one after a name in one of my favourite songs which also starts with an E!
Ooh… I’m going to message you now to discuss! Haha x
Karen this is beautiful x
This is why I love this blog – so many different people, stories and perspectives I wouldn’t have thought about. I love how you came to little E’s name xx
Names are such an emotive topic. We discounted one particular name because of how someone reacted when we were discussing possibilities. After that we quickly decided to keep the name choice to ourselves to try and avoid being influenced any further!
In fact we eventually chose a name which has taken us a while to feel confident in our decision. My husband is Irish and so I was very keen that our baby had a name to connect them with Ireland but I feared that a name with an unusual spelling (particularly if we stay in the U.K.) would mean they would be condemned to a life of mispronounciation, constant repeating and blank looks. I wanted our baby to be proud to be half Irish but I didn’t want to give them a name they would resent particularly when they started school. We went round and round in circles about what was the right decision but we kept coming back to one name. One week after our beautiful girl entered the world and having reread the entire baby names book and deciding that no other name would do we plucked up the courage to go with our hearts. We named our little girl Saoirse (pronounced “Seer-sha”) which means freedom. Six months on I now feel it was the right decision but we have both had a lot of doubt along the way. The vast majority of people react well and complement us on our choice but others react with a blank look or a few have “joked” that it would be easier for them to call her something different as there is no way they could possibly get their head around that name choice. At first I was very hurt by those reactions and would regularly discuss with my husband whether we had done the right thing but as time has gone on, I feel that the name is perfect for her and I am less bothered by people’s reactions (in fact a great many have pleasantly surprised me). I just hope that our little free spirit will grow up proud of her name.
Lucy it is a lovely name! I bet she will be SO proud of it when he grows up 🙂 People and their opinions eh! Good on you for going with your gut x
I loved Leo’s name and story, and Tayo’s is just as magical. He is just so joyous too.
Silvia’s name came to me when I was walking Hadrian’s Wall coast to coast with a group of clients. We had just had our first unsuccessful month of trying for a baby, and her name just popped into my head as I explored this beautiful landscape. It has Etruscan origins, the ancient Italian people I did my PhD on, and it comes from the name of a goddess of the forest. It’s related to the Italian word for wild land as well, perfect for a wild girl. I was so relieved that my husband liked it too! And I’m sure she was conceived the night I got home from that trip..
Paddy was more straightforward. We spent a month in Ireland near where my Mum’s family are from and I thought of it then. Then as it turned out a) Patrick was the only name we could agree on and b) it seemed right to give him Mum’s late father’s name as she delivered him!
I just love name stories, looking forward to coming back and reading everyone’s!
Absolutely perfect! Both of them xx
I love this so much! ❤❤
Our firstborn’s name was an easy one – it was a case of ‘list the ones we like, cross off the ones we have vetoed, see what’s left’. Although to be fair, Juliet wasn’t even on that original list – my sister suggsted it and we both went “YES!”.
Tess was harder. Much harder. We found it very difficult to agree on a name we liked, or at least didn’t both hate. Mr H was pushing for Catherine (Kathryn… Katharine… Cathryn?) and I really liked Claudia or Jemima. We both exercised our veto and we’re left with nothing. So we had to find something else. I’m also a bit funny about using a WHOLE name; not a diminutive – so although we liked Tess, we weren’t keen on Theresa which she would be. In the end we decided it didn’t matter, she only had to use it if she wanted to, and it turns out she’s mostly called Tessie (although I imagine that will change when she’s not a baby any more).
Her middle name was a no-brainer. Between having my girls we lost a LOT of family members – both of my grandmothers and my mum. Strangely they all had a name in common – Margaret, which was both my grandmothers’ first name and my mum’s middle name. In honour of them, Tess has that as her middle name. Of course it does mean that she had the name of an Irish nun, but you can’t win them all!
Tess was our girl name choice second time Sara! And Juliet/Julia has been in the running too.
Both gorgeous x
Haha, this has made me chuckle! Gorgeous names! x
I’ve always loved the idea of a middle name being a family name. I think partly as my elder sister inherited my Mum’s middle name but I got a random name as my Dad loved it but it was vetoed as my first name!
For my son, I really wanted to use my Dad’s name as his middle name. It’s also my husband’s middle name so links to both sides of the family. Unfortunately, my husband inherited the name from his Dad who he doesn’t have a great relationship with and as such he was completely against the name. We ended up using a different family name but I’m still sad I haven’t been able to pass down the name I wanted.
We are expecting our first baby boy in 3 weeks (that’s if he is not late) and we have had his name chosen for about 6 months now.
It has no link to either family but we love the sound of it. It’s unusual but not in a weird way! I also wanted 2 middle names to share the same initials as my grandad so their was a link to my side of the family… but the names don’t match unfortunately.
However we are really happy with our name choice and we have kept it to ourselves as I know some people can’t help but comment on a name and this would tarnish it!
I totally agree in keeping it to yourself Cathryn… People can be so (unnecessarily) openly judgemental about what name you should be giving YOUR child. But can you just tell me? promise not to tell anyone 😉 I really want to know! x
Your heart and your joy ❤️
When I was pregnant with Lyra we had three girls’ names in the running. But when she was born she just wasn’t delicate enough to be an Effie or a Mollie! And she has totally lived up to her Lyra-from-the-Northern-Lights-books namesake. She’s fearless and reckless and loving.
With Jenson, both Rich and I just liked the name! I’m a bit sad that it doesn’t have a meaning but he does have his grandad’s middle name (Ronnie) x
He really looks like a little Jenson and I ADORE his middle name! x
Our little one’s middle name is Max. Quite a common name as of late, but there’s a reason behind choosing it. On the day before our wedding we suddenly lost our 5 year old much loved dog, Max. We were heartbroken and when we found out we were having a son a few months later, my husband suggested having Max as a middle name. At first I thought he was joking, but when we were going through first names he kept pairing them with Max, and I thought, why not? I’m sure that some people think that we are a little nuts but we’ve had a lot of friends and family say that it’s a touching tribute to our ‘fur baby’.
Francesca!! I LOVE this. You may know that I am a total sucker for a gorgeous pooch so this has really made me smile. Hoe bloody lovely. I’m sure Max is wagging his tail in doggy heaven and is totally thrilled! x
Not linked to your story, but where did you get the wooden animals in the header photo? They’re absolutely adorable!
Hi Rachel. They are from Sarah and Bendrix x
I’m always interested in how people choose names and the stories and meaning behind them. Tayo’s name is beautiful, as are all the ones shared in previous comments.
Our own little Esme’s is one that we’d both been toying over in our heads but not mentioning for a while, and when it did come up was suggested as a middle name – but it turns out it was the name we loved best. Her middle name is after my paternal grandmother, and it delighted me to be able to tell people that she is named after two awesome grannies – my own, and the magnificent Granny Weatherwax (of Terry Pratchett’s discworld) – though if I’m feeling shy I just say she’s named after a favourite book character and leave it at that. And coincidentally Esmé, the French version of the name, means ‘loved’ and she is, so, so much.
Love a Pratchett name. Granny Weatherwax is one strong role model!
Rebecca, ALL the heart eyes!! x
I love a good naming story! This issue is definitely on my mind lately as we have no. 2 on the way. Last time around we liked a few of the same names for a girl, and although we didn’t decide until after she was born, it wasn’t a difficult process. She just looked like a Zoe. Her middle name is Isobel after my mum and my paternal grandmother, which I’d decided as soon as I found out I was expecting. Mummy passed away very suddenly when I was 12 weeks pregnant, so even though they never got to meet each other, it’s comforting to know that my daughter carries a little piece of my mum with her. Zoe has Greek origins and means life, so that felt fitting too.
If this next baby is a girl, I am completely sure what she will be named and have told my husband so in no uncertain terms! She’ll have his mother’s middle name as I think it would lovely for each of them to be named after their nannies.
However. If it is a boy, we’re in trouble. Last time around we absolutely couldn’t agree on a boy’s name. This time it’s no different. We don’t like ANYTHING the same. I’m actually a bit worried about it! 🙂
Oh Tracy I;m so sorry to hear about your loss but what a wonderful way to turn such sadness into happiness. Zoe will be so honoured to carry her nannies name and I’m sure your mum would be so happy.
Good luck if you have a little boy!! x
I’m nearly 6 months in and I have nothing.
Nothing I have come across and added to the list fills feels right.
My husband is meticulously putting a list together but every time I try to attempt it I just go blank or feel way too much pressure!
We didn’t name our daughter until she was 4 days old…and it didn’t come from a list, just a flash of inspiration when I recalled a painting of a flower I had seen in the hospital as I was being wheeled into theatre!
I too felt a huge weight of responsibility – this name had to last for life! I wouldn’t worry about not having found one yet, I felt I had to meet my baby first, and now at two years old her name suits her down to the ground and I can’t imagine having called her anything else! Good luck with choosing and the exciting journey you have ahead x
Love this Stephie! x
It is a pressure isn’t it Teagan! It’s like, for life! Or there is always Deed Pol so don’t stress too much 😉 I’m sure when your little love is here you will find something that fits perfectly. Good luck with everything x
Our little boy is called Franklin. We were originally going to call him Francis, because we wanted to be able to call him Frank or Frankie after my husbands grandad, however we have a bit of a story as to how we came to Franklin. We asked our sonographer to write down the baby’s gender on a card and put it in an envelope because we weren’t sure if we wanted to find out the sex or not. However, the day after the scan we flew out to California for our very very belated honeymoon. While we were in Cali we saw the name Franklin everywhere on buildings, road names, businesses ect and sort of fell in love with it. As we were cycling over the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco we decided to open the gender envelope. The exact location where we opened the envelope just happened to be next to ‘Franklin Street’ – we opened the card and he was a boy. Quite literally it was a sign he had to be called Franklin!
One of my favourite naming stories EVER! x
I love reading about how people chose their babies name, and I think Tayo is a gorgeous name with a great story.
My son’s middle name was always going to be Nicholas after my grandfather so we worked with that. We had a shortlist and went with what he ‘looked’ like when he was born. we named him Noah as it has a lovely meaning, it crosses different cultures/countries (he’s mixed heritage). I nearly didn’t chose it because it’s so popular but I’m so glad I did. It’s so him and I haven’t met another Noah.
I’m now expecting a daughter and I’ve been looking to inspirational women from history to name her after. We are pretty much settled on Edie (short for Edith) inspired by Edith Louisa Cavell. Our second choice in case she doesn’t look like an Edie is Margot, as my grandmother is Margaret so it has a nice family connection.
I LOVE Margot – that would have been my girls name choice – we’ve just had a boy.
Absolutely gorgeous Anna. I really love Margot and I also know a little Edie. Good luck with everything x
I found naming our second boy (1 week old!) way much harder than the first. There’s no meaning behind his first name – my husband picked it and eventually persuaded me to give in 😂 I love it now though. His middle name however has a family connection – it’s Wilfred – my brothers are Will and Fred 😊
Victoria I love this so much! Happy one week being a parent of two and that middle name… Amazing.
What beautiful names and meaning behind them 💙
We have two boys and with our first managed to use up the only two boy names we liked – Arthur Alexander – so we were pretty stumped when the next one turned out to be a boy as well. After rejecting every name in the world (it felt like) between us, we finally decided that using his brother’s middle name as the new one’s first name was actually ok with us and even felt like a nice brotherly link to have. As it turns out, we don’t ever call him by that name anyway, but a nickname, Wolfie, we used while I was pregnant and is now one of his middle names (Wolfgang)! When he gets called at the doctors or wherever I genuinely think ‘who’s that’ for a moment…
Such a great idea using the middle name of baby boy number one for baby boy number two’s first name! And yes to the nicknames! x
When we named our daughter, we knew we wanted to use her middle name straight away as it really suited her, but we’d had a name planned for months so we stuck to that as her first name and thought she’d grow into it. Now she’s 7 months old and we NEVER use her first name. As you said, at the doctor’s or wherever, I always have to think twice!! Now I’m really worried we’ve made a mistake and am seriously considering changing the names around officially…. My husband thinks I’m crazy and that it’s fine to use her middle name, loads of people do it, but I don’t feel any connection to her first name and that upsets me. Do you ever feel this way? I’m not implying that you should, I’m just trying to make my nagging doubt go away! Are you planning to use his first name at school or anything?
In fact, reading your post has made me feel a lot better, as we’re not the only ones!!
I love Wolfie by the way!
My mum gave both me and my sister Yoruba names because of the meanings (Yemisi meaning “God has blessed me”, with Joy added on the end; and Tinuke Anna meaning “God has taken care of me from the womb” – my mum was induced with my sister to avoid complications). We never struggled to spell them as they’re actually spelled just as you say them, and both love our individual names! It’s interesting that since I got married a year ago I’ve had to spell my surname just as much, turns out everyone wants to put an “e” on the end of Sharp! People do sometimes struggle to pronounce them at first, but we always get asked about where they come from and the meanings. Neither of us would change them, we love being a little bit different! I love your boys names, meanings really make names special I think – I’m 33 weeks pregnant with our 1st baby and cant bring myself to like a name if the meaning isn’t really beautiful!