Last night I eventually kissed my boys to sleep at 10:45pm. Yep you heard me right, 10:45pm. Believe me I tried to ask them to go to bed earlier but, they somehow manage to take forever getting their pyjamas on, visiting the bathroom and insisting on sitting on the edge of my bed for yet another chat about their day.
Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love our chats, in fact they are some of our most hilarious, but I really wish they’d share more of their anecdotes around the dinner table rather than saving them all up for what seems like a diversion to bedtime. It’s not like I don’t ask them what they’ve been up to as soon as they get in from school or playing out, but their replies are always short one word responses and never very elaborate. Come bedtime though it’s like Jackanory is on the telly and they remember EVERYTHING about their day.
One of my concerns is Rob and I literally don’t get any alone time. We rarely get to go out on date nights, so the evenings was our time to have some adult conversation and catch up on the latest episode of Game of Thrones together before joining them in the land of nod. Let alone having time for anything else…
I suppose I can’t complain too much, when they were little their bedtime routines were a dream. They’d both go to bed at 8pm and be asleep by 8:05pm and we wouldn’t hear a peep out of them until 8am the following morning. Obviously as they’ve got older the bedtime has got later, but I’m not sure how we’ve arrived at 10:45pm. This isn’t just during the Summer holidays either, due to clubs this is also a regular occurrence on a School night too.
I am trying hard not to let my liberal approach to the boys bedtime routine impact Anabelle’s bedtime routine, but there are definitely evenings that run away with us and before we know it is gone 9pm before she’s in bed. I strongly believe routine is key, my boys certainly thrived on it when they were little and I just need to get back to enforcing some of my old tips and tricks to get back to where we used to be. Where we want to be!
As the boys are 12 1/2 and 11 now and approach adolescence and puberty soon my main concern is them getting sufficient sleep. Apparently an average teenager only gets between 7 -7 1/4 hours of sleep a night, but needs between 9 – 9 1/2. With the two hour internal shift in a teenagers body clock from 9pm to 11pm, and an early morning rise for school how is that amount of sleep even possible. It’s not encouraged to allow children to catch up and have a lay in at the weekend either. They’ll be missing out on Z’s left, right and centre.
So if any of you lovelies with older children have any tips or insights to share for getting children to go to bed at a decent time, or even ways to ensure you can wind down with your partner of an evening, please leave a comment below.
I’m having this debate and Molly is only 5! I keep being tempted to let her stay up a bit later now it’s holidays but then it’s a cumulative thing and I can tell she is super tired. If we are out and about I’m letting her stay up a bit longer but otherwise I’m trying to get her in to bed by 7 30 ish. Luckily Alice asks to go to bed at 6 30. Hoorah! x
When the boys were little day to day we would generally stick to the same routine too unless it was a special occasion as I think children get used to a certain amount of sleep. Is so easy to deviate from the norm in the holidays though, but not always worth it xxx
I can remember my mum threatening me with housework if I stayed up late. I think the line was “if you want to stay up with grown ups, you act like a grown up” just before I was told I would have iron my own school uniform – I soon scarpered off to bed!
Ha ha love this Claire B. Our boys have definitely got it easy when it comes to chores so this could definitely be the way forward. xxx
I once attended a talk by a sleep expert who said teenagers natural sleep pattern is to go to bed late and wake up late, but our school hours don’t facilitate this. He claims that most teenage behavioural problems are due to sleep deprivation and if our schools started later teenagers would be much more productive.
Fascinating
I’ve recently found this out too Lisa. They don’t really stand a chance do they, it’s so hard to inflict bedtimes on them if they aren’t ready, but equally you don’t want them missing out of vital sleep. I thought I had a little while left with the boys before their body clocks would change, but perhaps they’ve changed early… xxx
Our local college has changed the start time to 10am to help with this! Very interesting!
That’s amazing Sophie. If science is saying Teenagers need to sleep longer in the morning it makes sense. I’m read an article about it a long time ago, hopefully more places will follow suit. xxx
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3641752/Start-school-later-prevent-sleep-deprived-teens-U-S-doctors.html
I’m still wrestling an 18 month into bed so this problem seems a long time off. But in the pre baby days when I was still capable of staying up late, despite needing to be up early, I found setting an alarm to remind me to start winding down for bedtime was useful. I’m sure there is now some kind of app which might make it seems slightly more appealing for almost teenage boys.
Ooh that’s a good idea Jen. We try to keep their mobile devices off them after dinner, but I’m sure I could set an alarm on my phone. I probably just need to come to terms with the fact their lifestyle is changing so it’s bound to have an impact on their current routines. Why do children have to grow up 🙁 xxx
My twin 7 year olds have somehow made bedtime in to some sort of happy hour recently – giggling for at least an hour with each other before either me or my wife has to remind them sternly that bedtime was over an hour ago! Problem is we love hearing them enjoy each other’s company so unless it decends in to complete chaos we let them fall asleep without too much parental insistence. If my wife is out and I have work to do – I work mainly from home – then I will very simply tell them that I need their help – that I need to work or daddy might get in trouble with his customers – I speak to them like I would a colleague – save for the language of course – and 4 times out of 5 they are incredibly responsive to this approach. I think because I make them feel part of what I need to do – and because I speak to them as grown-ups – they respond to it. It doesn’t work all the time of course! Hope you manage to find a solution with your older children!