“Are you going to find out what you’re having?” has been the first question that probably 90% of people have asked Anthony and I when they have learned about the pregnancy.
I think like most mamas to be, I just want to have a healthy baby that arrives safely into the world. I’m genuinely not that fussed about what sex it happens to be. Before I fell pregnant I did have a slight preference for wanting a boy. I see how Anthony and his brother get on. They are so alike and have a great relationship and I wonder if that’s due to them being the same sex. I also see how my friends with sisters share clothes, nights out etc too. It’s not to say I’m not close to my brother but I do wonder if the bond between same sex siblings is any stronger than that of the relationships between differing sexes? Probably not if you were to delve into it deeply enough.
As I said, before falling pregnant I had a slight preference for another boy. Then I saw the baby at my scan. And I couldn’t give two hoots what it turns out to be. I feel nervous at the thought of having a girl. I mean, I know I’m a girl but I’ve never had to deal with a girly baby before. But then surely a baby is a baby right? And I’d be freaking myself out for no reason. Then there’s those people who are desperate for it to be a girl; for me to experience the bond with a daughter as well as a son, to have someone I can relate to or that can better relate to me. But I don’t feel like that. If I ended up with 4 boys I think I’d still be over the moon with my lot and content that I was given the task of raising a brood of boys.
But, back to the question in hand… Will we be finding out the sex of our baby at our 20 week anomaly scan… Which is next week! How I am almost half way there already I will never know. Anthony is firmly placed in the yes corner. There was part of him that wanted to know with Leo but he understood my stance on not finding out to have that experience of a complete surprise. I thought from day one that Leo was a boy so I wasn’t at all surprised when it turned out he was. Well, still maybe a little bit.
Initially, I was in the no camp again whereas Anthony has wanted to know from the start. He is excited (and he gets excited about very few things in life believe me!), he is impatient, he wants to visualise what our family will be like in 5 months time and most importantly he wants to prepare. I always found that a strange thing for people to say. What can finding out the sex help you to prepare for? A certain colour of clothes or paint in the nursery? Ultimately, your baby doesn’t care about either of those things so first time round, that argument never persuaded me. But, when Leo has told me on multiple occassions that he wants the baby to be a boy I feel we are going to absolutely need some time to prepare him in case it is a girl. The last thing I want is for him to be disappointed at meeting his new sibling.
And so anyway, I was against, then I was for, then I was against again but the more the pregnancy progresses, the more impatient I am finding myself. I feel like the excitement level is the same… Whether I find out next week or in 5 months time. I will still be thrilled at the fact that I have an actual real life baby… regardless of it’s sex. If the sonographer asks if we want to know I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself from shouting yes!
I don’t believe there are really any pros and cons in whether or not you find out… just doing whatever you want to is right wether thats a surprise at 5 months or a surprise at 9 months.
So, are you/did you find out? If you are, will you be telling people? Or are you in for the long haul with the big reveal at the end? Did knowing help you prepare?
Image by Divine Day Photography
I am SO with you on the sneaky wish to have a house full of boys! I’m not pining for one of either and I think it’s just because it’s what I know.
When I was pregnant with Ethan, we found out. Mainly because Gavin was having a hard time wrapping his head around the whole thing and thought knowing the sex would help him visualise it better. It did. I noticed after we found out, he talked about the baby a lot more and seemed to like saying “My son”.
If there is ever a round two though, I think we’ll keep it a surprise. Just to experience what that’s like too. And because #2 doesn’t seem as scary and unknown as #1.
Are you going to tell us?! Or will close family just know? Either way is cool (BUT I’M DYING TO KNOW NOW! Ahem.)
I definitely think it will seem more ‘real’ once we know? I might let you know 😉 x
Hope all goes well with your scan next week. Our first baby is due in 4 week (last day of work today yippee!!). We decided to find out at the 20 week scan. Neither of us were bothered either way, we just decided to have the surprise a little early and to share that news. We’re having a boy. In terms of preparing, it’s helped us focus on names and just imagining life with him. We’ve bought a mix of gender neutral and boyish clothes (though I’ve seen some very cute slightly girlie romper suits he may find himself wearing in the summer :-)), and his nursery is fairly neutral too so I think we could have done clothes and nursery easily enough without finding out , but it has helped us mentally prepare, though again we don’t how we would have been if we hadn’t found so again it’s difficult know if it’s really helped. I’ve had friends who choose not to find out so the curiosity to know keeps them going through labour!
Thanks Sophie! I think having to only think of one name will be a lot easier! I found it so hard with Leo so being able to write off a whole gender will make it much easier 🙂
I also found with Leo that not knowing helped me get through the end parts of my labour because I was so excited but I do think I’d still be equally as excited to meet a baby who I already know the gender of? Because you know, it’s a new baby! haha.
Happy last day of work today and best of luck with everything x
We found out with Molly. I wasn’t too bothered but Edd wanted to. His first reaction on finding out it was a girl was ‘s**t we have to pay for a wedding’!! It was nice knowing but I didn’t exactly go girly just in case they had got it wrong. It does happen! When we were expecting Alice I decided I wanted a surprise. I wish we had found out. I felt really unsure about what I was getting ready. Ended up buying loads of new clothes, couldn’t decide on names. Plus i was convinced she was a boy. Maybe because i wanted one boy and one girl. When she arrived as a little girl I will admit I was a bit in shock. The poor thing had no name for 2 days. If I had known earlier I could have prepared myself that it was another girl and saved a lot of planning. I just would have had the surprise earlier. So much easier having two girls though!! Xxx
We are 15 weeks pregnant with our first baby and you are completely right when you say it’s the first question people ask! I am definitely wanting to keep the sex of the baby as a surprise and I think it would be lovely for my husband to be the one to reveal if we have a boy or girl. However if he had his way we would be finding out at 20weeks for sure! Maybe it is a guy thing that they want to feel as prepared as possible. I just think that the big reveal in the delivery room is a moment that could never be recreated.
Anthony said that announcing to people was one of his favourite parts of the whole process with Leo. He was a proud daddy walking out into the waiting room with a new bundle of joy and announcing he had a son 🙂 It’s a lovely ‘job’ for them. Perhaps this time he can announce the name 🙂 x
I’m 37 weeks and don’t know the sex. Its baby no2 and I already have a boy. I really don’t mind what we have & can see advantages to either sex! For me it’s more exciting to announce the sex on the day baby arrives and I’m really looking forward to the surprise.
My son has said all the way through that he’d like a sister but I’m sure he’ll be fine either way.
As for sibling bonds I have a sister and a brother and I’m really close to both of them. My sister is 6 years older than me but lives locally so we see each other every week and are in daily contact. My brother is 2 years younger than me and lives far away so I don’t get to see him much but we do message each other every week at least. Growing up we played together a lot and when we’re all together we get on brilliantly. I think personality matters more than gender. In fact my relationship with my siblings makes me really excited to see how the bond grows with my soon to be 2!
I am SO excited for Leo to have a sibling, either way. He has such a kind nature I can’t wait to see how he is with the new baby… He is also very demanding of my time though so I’m pretty sure we’re going to have a few jealous strops here and there! Good luck with everything x
My 20 week scan is coming up soon with number 2 and we’re not finding out! Didn’t with the 1st either, who turned out to be a girl. I understand why people get impatient to know but luckily me and my husband both feel the same that we genuinely don’t want to know, I’m so excited about that moment when the baby is finally born and you look to see what you have! It was amazing last time (I was so surprised because I thought it was going to be a boy) and I’m sure it’ll be just as amazing this time too. I don’t mind what it is but I’m slightly leaning towards wanting another girl (I guess just because it’s familiar?! And I quite like the idea of 2 little girls) so if I found out it was a boy at the scan I wouldn’t be disappointed at all but I might be a tiny bit deflated that my idea of 2 little girls is over, however I know when I meet my baby on the big day I’ll just fall head over heels whether it’s a boy or girl and all previous ideas won’t matter at all! If that makes sense! Hope all goes well at your scan ? X
I feel the same… it’s the familiar isn’t it? But like you say,wither way, I;m sure we’re both just going to be over the moon with our new babies. I actually can’t wait to meet it now… just another 20 weeks to go! haha. Hope all is well at your scan x
We didn’t find out with our first but did with our second. It was a definite learning that it’s a surprise whenever you find out, it was genuinely as much of a ‘a boy!’ moment both times – yes, I have two boys and it is awesome.
If we have a third I don’t know what we’d do. Pretty sure it would be a boy and despite the fact people keep asking if we’re going to try for a girl (eh? Is there a position you do it in?), I would be overjoyed with another boy. Or a girl. Babies are gorgeous whatever!
The question and the way it is phrased presses all my pedantry buttons. My stock reply was “I’m hoping for a puppy” but then I’m extra grumpy when pregnant….
We didn’t with S although my husband swears he knew she was a girl. It was really special as we had said in our birth plan that Phil would tell me boy or girl, and he did! It was lovely. This time around though I would like to know simply because if it’s a boy there will be a bit more shopping to do!
But, if we do find out I want to keep it between Phil and I. Our secret!
I had said perhaps we could find out and keep it between us but I think our main reason for finding out is to talk to Leo about it, let him know what to expect and there’s no way he will be able to keep it to himself! haha.
Here’s hoping for healthy puppies all around x
PS all best for your scan! And re:boys v girls, I think we all are scared by what we don’t have! How do you even start cleaning up a boy poosplosion with all the extra erm equipment they have? Will a boy be even more boisterous, is this even possible? Etc.
I just cleaned my baby boy’s poop explosion (three months old) and I was wondering how girl’s Mums do it? How do you not get it in there when it is already everywhere (if you know what I mean!) ^^
Ha ha! This made me chuckle Anja! I would be the same with boys I think. Lots of cotton wool and water is required! x
We had our scan just yesterday and it revealed we’re having a Boy!! I wasn’t bothered either way but my partner really wanted a boy.. we can stop referring to him as ‘it’ now..
For us it makes the whole experience so much more real (as it’s our first and we’re still pretty overwhelmed at the though of a little baby growing inside me and having a mini human to look after in the next 4-5 months!!!) I’m now so eager to meet him and think what kind of man he will grow up to be.. I think the labour pain will be all the surprise I need on the actual day but at least we can now vision our little boy and of course start buying little bits and bobs as we come across them.
Ah congratulations Amy 🙂 Best of luck with everything x
I am
Currently expecting with my first baby and am 22 weeks. The journey to get here has been harrowing to say the least (over 3 years of IVF, procedures, tears, miscarriage and heartbreak). To be at this stage now is the most amazing feeling, we are still in disbelief! This being the case, we were keen to find out- we felt we’ve done enough waiting and being told who was in there was just as lovely a surprise (we’re having a girl, I thought it was a boy and have always dreamed of having a daughter!). I client at work who I bearly know scolded me for wanting to find out- she said I would ‘ruin the magic’ and that it was ‘not special if we cheated and found out early’ this made me livid- she had no clue what we’ve been through to get here and I felt it wasn’t her place to force her option on me. I guess I’m saying it’s right for some and not for others, people who ask the question assume it’s all been plain sailing when in many cases it hasn’t and it the choice of the parents. I’m now even more excited to meet our little miracle girl! Good luck to everyone expecting xx
Oh Louise, people and their opinions! Congratulations on your pregnancy…. you sound so excited 🙂 Wishing you all the luck in the world x
We’re 15 weeks pregnant with our first and have decided not to find out the sex at the 20 week scan. I kind of really want to know and don’t want to know in equal measures. I know it’s a surprise whenever you find out but there is so much excitement amongst friends and family on the day of the birth as to what the sex is that I don’t think is the same earlier. I feel like it is a girl though and so does the hubby so I’m so excited to see if we were right or wrong. I think if we were to find out I’d like to keep it just between us though. Good luck with your scan Becky! Ours isn’t until end of May and it feels like so far away until we get to see the babby on the screen again. Xo
Ah Helen, it will come around in a flash! Although I do think things seem to be going much faster this time around… perhaps because I’m so busy running around after Leo 🙂 You will have a wonderful surprise either way but I was right with Leo so maybe you are right and will have a girl… In the grand scheme of things, there’s not long to wait to find out 🙂 x
We have our 20 week scan in a week and a half and I’m pretty sure we will find out if it’s possible, I just can’t resist. For us it’s our wildcard baby no3, we already have two boys and the whole world seems to think that this one is a girl. I’m in the boy camp as I can’t imagine having a girl after two rowdy crazy little boys. What will be, will be, and it’s been so much fun trying out the old wives tales and having people guess.
We never found out with our first born, and did the second time, and it made no difference to A. Getting him pushed out, and B. Bonding in advance!! Either way is super fun, I just don’t have any patience!! Xx Hope all goes well for you Xx
I follow your Instagram Coral and noticed we’re pretty much at the same stage 🙂 What a beautiful little brood you have and whatever you get to add to it I’m sure is going to make it even more magical. Did you see Lolly’s post on old wives tales last week? The comments were so funny! I’ll be keeping my eye out on your feed to see if you are able to find out or not 🙂 Best of luck to you xxxx
We have our 12 week scan for our second next week. We didn’t find out with our daughter – I wanted to and my husband didn’t so that defeats the “it helps them feel more prepared” school of thought. I think I had a really strong feeling she was a girl and I needed to prepare myself if she wasn’t. In the end, he won, we didn’t find out but she was a girl. Likewise, my husband told me in the delivery room. It was when he said breaking down “I have a daughter” that I started crying. Even now…I’m tearing up thinking about it.
Our daughter is Hector’s age so I think its probably less important to find out to prepare her than if she was Leo’s age or older. We have a lot of neutral clothes from the early days too so I don’t think we need to find out to help us “sort out” clothes for the first few months. I just want to find out because if it is a girl we can stop arguing over names for boys. We have a girls name in mind but boys? Zero.
I’ve been trying to teach her to respond with “baby” if we ask her “what is in Mummy’s tummy”. This mornings response?
“Pasta”
Haha!!! Nowt wrong with a bit of pasta i the tummy 😉
And I agree with what you’re saying, when I fell pregnant before the miscarriage Leo was much younger and so wouldn’t have known any difference between the sexes I don’t think but now he is expressly interested in what it is which makes me feel different. We found boys names really hard… not sure what we’ll do if we have to come up with another one! x
My 20 week scan is tomorrow and I still don’t know if we’re going to find out or not! I think I’ll pop out and buy a lovely card on my lunch break today and get the sonographer to write the sex in the card during our scan appointment. That way my husband and I can either choose to open the card together when we are ready, or not at all, and it means we don’t have to make an impulsive decision during the appointment.
Oh that’s a GREAT idea Alice!!! I may have to copy you… I fI can contain my excitement! haha. Good luck and hope all goes well for you xx
Of course, all the best ideas are ‘recycled!’ – I copied it from a friend… 🙂 To be honest the most important thing is finding out baba is growing well and everything looks as expected, then I’ll get my head around pink or blue. Good luck for yours too xx
Absolutely x
Good luck for your scan next week!
We didn’t find out with our little boy and I was adamant I didn’t want to know – having that surprise to look forward to made it even more exciting for me. I’m now 23 weeks with our second and we had a gender scan at 16 weeks and found out we’re having another little boy! I had 2 miscarriages in between pregnancies and I think I just needed a bit of certainty after all the uncertainty. After the scan I felt so relieved all was looking well but if I’m really honest, I did feel a little flat too as awful as that sounds. Like I knew everything. I don’t feel like that now and have been getting prepared with lots of grey and white and thinking about nursery decoration. I think it’s also been nice to tell our little boy what we’re having – he said boy all along! Weirdly though when I think of the baby or feel a kick I think of it as a ‘she’…. bizarre!
I’m hoping it might help me to connect with the baby a little bit more Lauren. I have felt somewhat disconnected to it until very recently, I think die to the miscarriage I’ve never wanted to get my hopes up. I’m hoping being able to refer to the baby by gender and to try and think of a name will make it all the more real and to come to terms with it actually happening this time round. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xxx
We didn’t find out and both agreed that there are so few surprises in life that this felt like a genuine treat. Throughout my pregnancy I was asked constantly but found when I said I didn’t know people seemed actually pleased that we were opting for an ‘old fashioned’ announcement. I liked people guessing due to the way I was carrying/my glow/cravings etc. most opted for boy and I have to admit I was initially swaying towards boy myself, maybe 60/40 in favour. I think I was swaying slightly to boy just because my partner is the last male in his family line and we won’t be having any more babies so I had this opinion of keeping his families male lineage going. We had both names sorted from an early stage and kept them to ourselves and had a neutral nursery/pram picked out, I’m not a big fan of gender stereotyping anyway. As this was to be our only child (another story) truthfully though I just wanted a happy healthy baby and I am beyond delighted to say at 3:54am on 12/01/16 our tiny (5lb) beautiful daughter came into the world with a big dramatic entrance and I couldn’t imagine life with anyone else. She is absolutely perfect and it is definitely her who was meant to be here.
Ah Jo what beautiful words 🙂 I too am not really a blue or pink type of person, I just like what I like whatever the colour might be… usually some sort of turquoise! haha. I hope you’re enjoying life as a Mama xx
Yay for turquoise! I have lots of turquoise things for our little boy and am adamant that it doesn’t matter what the next one will be since I would dress a girl in turquoise and blue as well!
Aw this post made me very excited! I am 3 days from my due date and we’re having a boy! I was reluctant to find out at first and my husband was desperate to! We did the card thing so we could open it on our own- it did feel more special for us than being told while I was lying on the bed with gel smeared all over me! X
Eeeee, how exciting! Good luck with your labour… I am definitely considering this card thing now! 🙂 x
We weren’t going to find out but at our 12 week scan we were told we had an increased nuchal translucency and were sent to a specialist unit for a CVS. When the unit rang with the results (thankfully all clear) they asked if we wanted to know the sex. Despite really wanting a surprise I said yes. Finding out we were having a girl helped me get through the rest of the scans and tests we had to go through and Sophie was born healthy and happy seven weeks ago. Next time though, all being well, we’ll have a surprise X
Ah so glad everything turned out well for you Heather 🙂
I have a daughter and when I was pregnant we chose not to find out the baby’s sex. I really wanted a surprise, my husband less so, but he didn’t really mind whether we found out or not (though he did have a wobble or two at the scans when they asked us if we wanted to know). I was absolutely convinced I was having a boy and will never forget the surprise (and delight) I felt when I first saw that our ‘wee Jimmy’ was in fact female! I am glad I resisted the temptation to find out, and I know I would have been equally pleased with a boy or girl, but I’m not sure what I’d do if we were to have another. I have a friend who’s pregnant with her first at the minute and they did find out – they have already named their baby and have the nursery all planned etc, so it definitely is a personal decision. But if you find out Becky, you have to either share your news here or pretend that you still don’t know! 😉
Haha Tracy I will perhaps update this post once we know?! Your friend sounds super organised! I;m pretty sure our nursery won’t be ready until after the baby is born anyway… I am struggling to find time in the day for general life! 😉
Lots of time for that anyway Becky – as you said, baby has no clue what their nursery looks like! Plus, in our case, my one year old still sleeps in our room so we needn’t have bothered decorating hers! 🙂
I’m 37 weeks with my first baby. Even before getting pregnant (and we had a long time to talk about it having gone through 3 years of trying and IVF) I said I didn’t want to find out. My husband wanted to but understood my reasons, mainly being that most of the excitement of trying for a baby and getting pregnant doesn’t come with getting pregnant through IVF! (Instead it’s fear and panic!)
Having said that, on Monday I was sent for a growth scan, I’ve not had a scan since 20 weeks and was so tempted to find out, I did try and have a peek but the lady scanning me did ask before hand if we knew what we were having so I’m guessing she tried to avoid revealing it!
I think for a 2nd baby I would be more tempted as you know whether you can re-use the first baby’s stuff!
Oh well done for fighting the temptation 🙂 Congrats on your pregnancy xx
We chose not to find out and have a surprise (my friend said it helped her with labour wanting to find out sooner!), from the first scan I was convinced it was a boy and I was right! All our family and friends thought we secretly knew and weren’t letting on as our ‘unisex’ baby outfits and nursery was looking very err- boyish. If we have another hmmm… I think I might find out because if it’s a boy we can chill because we have everything and if it’s a girl I could go shopping for pretty dresses! I still don’t think I’d tell anyone though, it’s nice to keep somethings to yourself at a time when even strangers want to know everything about you. Good luck Becky xx
Oh yes I agree. It is still nice to have some things to your self… Thanks for the well wishes and for your comment 🙂 x
A friend and her sister were both pregnant at the same time a couple of years ago, and both chose to find out. My friend was told she was having a girl, and her sister a boy…. BOTH were wrong!!! They were both obviously still delighted, but it did take them a few weeks after their respective deliveries to get used to having a son / daughter as they had spent so much time imagining their families and getting organised.
Needless to say she never found out with number 2!! And none of our other friends, including myself, bothered to find out early either!!
Nooooooo! OMG I hadn’t even considered the chances of them getting it wrong! What a surprise indeed! x
We didn’t find out with my little girl – my husband would have liked to, but got overruled!! He was the person to tell me that we had a daughter when she was born, and that was such a special moment, and he then got to tell everybody else! I’d like a surprise again if we ever have another – all of our little baby stuff is purposely neutral (and even though she’s now bigger there’s still a lot of stuff that could be used either way, as I’m not that keen on pink!!)
We found out first time and haven’t this time (am 33 weeks). I wanted to know how it felt to have a surprise. I’d say I was more excited last time though when I knew as it felt incredible knowing the sex and did help me visualise my future family. This time it just feels a bit strange, and am also worried my 2.5yr old will be upset if it’s a boy as she’s very keen for a sister!
But I mainly just feel so lucky to be having another baby of either sex, and am hoping the surprise will help me get through labour! We have neutral clothes and nursery already so I didn’t need to worry about that aspect. Good luck to all the pregnant ladies!
I must just be the most impatient person ever. I found out with all three. There was sensible logic behind it re preparation, names or anything… I just WANTED TO KNOW. NOW. with all of them.
People always said, ‘Oh, but don’t you want a surprise?’ I think giving birth to a brand new baby is a big enough surprise for anyone – each time I’ve been completely gobsmacked that a real baby has actually just popped out – I’ve been just fine without any extra news!
I’ve always stuck to just a few specific things and a neutral nursery wall though- just in case. I’ve also known of a few people being told wrong. Some friends had Amelie written up on their pink nursery walls and a little boy arrived.
Hope your scan is a very beautiful and special time whatever you decide Becky Xx
I’m currently 33 weeks pregnant and we aren’t finding out.. we were desperate to know initially (my husband was/is very keen to have a little boy even though its our first!)
After having horrendous sickness I changed my mind and decided to get me through the rest of the pregnancy I needed to element of surprise I always feel when I know someones having say a baby girl called Ella, when said Ella arrives it isn’t quite as exciting as when a surprise comes along. I also compared it to Xmas, when you know what your gift is it isn’t quite as exciting as a surprise! Plus on a practical note it has prevented us buying everything gender specific in case we have another of the opposite sex. Almost everyone we know was shocked that we haven’t found out and out of our ante natel class of 12 couples we are the only ones who don’t know! I’m happy we’ve kept this a surprise but maybe baby number 2 I’d be more inclined to find out so I’d know if to clear out baby numbers 1’s clothes etc.
Best of luck with the scan xx
How exciting to see your little baba again Becky. I bet next week can’t come quick enough.
Elliott was a surprise and we found out with Joseph & Anabelle. We definitely needed the heads up with Joseph coming along so soon after Elliott, but sadly I was overruled by Rob & the boys with Anabelle, they were all desperate to know. I would have quite happily had another surprise, although after having two boys & being told I was having a girl I was still skeptical until she actually arrived. xxx
Good luck with the scan! It’s so nice to see them at that stage.
We have a 3 day old!!! We didn’t find out and she’s a gorgeous girl. I was desperate to find out but hubby persuaded me not to. In the end it was worth the wait, although I checked multiple times with everyone in the room she really was a girl when I was being stitched up as I couldn’t check for myself and was convinced they’d made a mistake lol.
If we have another I don’t know if I’d find out or not. The surprise was amazing, but then not knowing made the last few weeks of pregnancy that much harder for me…
We both desperately wanted to know – we’re both project managers so I guess it was inevitable we’d want to find out. But I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of being told during my scan (at 9:20 on a Monday) and then having to tootle off into work.
So I got a blank card, wrote “It’s a…” on the outside and asked the sonographer to write the sex inside and seal the envelope. My husband opened it over dinner a few weeks later (on our anniversary). So we still got to find out, but it was in a lovely romantic way.
We did not decide on a name until after she was born and we got to see her though!
I’m 14 weeks pregnant and have had lots of questions about this too.
With my first pregnancy, prior to conceiving I had adamantly said I’d keep it a surprise and didn’t understand why people found out, but when the test went positive that went out of the window and I just had to know. I actually paid for a private gender scan at 16 weeks I was so impatient! It was a lovely experience and I felt I bonded with Rex (now 13 months) before he was even here. Like everybody has said you can visualise things more, shortlist names, prepare for the Unknown!
There’s also the fact we’re self employed and I don’t technically do maternity leave, so I felt having things ready for a boy would save a lot of time later on and that it did, which was a help!
This time around I’ve changed my mind a million times. It doesn’t matter what gender I have, it didn’t matter with Rex, it’s all about delivering a happy, healthy baby. So initially I was in camp surprise. But as I packed away Rex’s outgrown 12/18 month clothes to be bundled off to the attic ready for if we have another boy, I did think it would be useful to know if what I was doing was all in vain and perhaps they should be heading to the eBay/charity shop pile…? If it’s a boy do we really want to wait until their born to start bringing Rex’s things down from the attic and re-washing them, when all of this could be done before? Newborns are hard work and with a 19 month old in the picture too I just can’t see us having the time to not be prepared. Therefore I’m now firmly decided we will find out.
There’s also the name issue, our 2nd favourite boy name was used by friends so if we do have another boy we’re seriously struggling. We just don’t agree with anything! I was un-named for 6 weeks because of this issue, I’d really not like that to be the case for this little one!
One word of advice for first time mums who do find out, don’t go mad buying clothes before they’re born. I bought clothes for Rex right up to the 6-9month age range. Not loads, but bits and pieces. When he was born so many of these just didn’t suit him, or he grew too fast that he didn’t fit in the things I thought he would for the summer etc. So many friends of mine have done the same. This time, if it’s a girl, I’ll buy a few newborn/0-3 bits, with a view to deciding who she is and what suits her and then placing an Internet shopping order for whatever else we need. I know this will be hard when there’s so many lovely baby bits in the shops and all you want to do is get excited and buy everything, but I also know it’ll save money in the long run!
My husband and I absolutely had to find out – I just wanted to know what our family would be like and it’s really helped with the binding process and choosing names. We did however decide to keep it our secret, that way we still get to so the big announcement to all our friends and family. It’s been hard not accidentally saying he/she when we are out with friends but I actually love that just me and my husband have this little secret. Our nursery has a few gender specific items and it’s my baby shower at my house this weekend so I’m going to need to keep a watch on prying eyes 🙂
We have been trying to figure this one out for years (even before trying to conceive)!
Finally decided that we will find out, but we will ask the sonographer to write gender on a card for us which will go away and read together. I always wanted to be told the gender of our child by my husband, so he will read it to me.
Then we will go shopping!!!