I am incredibly lucky to have three beautiful children and was determined to give each of them the best start in life by attempting to breastfeed each of them. Was I successful every time? Unfortunately not.
Elliott
Elliott was my first born so I attended all the antenatal classes, listened intently to the Midwives and Health Visitors advice “breast was best” and was determined to give it a go when baby arrived.
After a relatively stress free pregnancy and wonderful labour Elliott arrived safe and sound. I couldn’t wait to get skin to skin with him and have him latch on. His first feed was like a dream, and second and third… I left the hospital feeling quietly confident that I’d got this.
Then my milk came in and I’ve never felt so uncomfortable and disgusting in my life. All the advice and reading prep in the world still does not prepare you for the reality of it (not to alarm any new mums). If there was a time I wasn’t sitting on the sofa half naked feeding Elliott then my clothes and bedsheets were completely sodden with milk and I just wanted to sit in the shower so I could feel clean and normal.
To give me some relief, Rob and I decided to express my milk. This seemed like a fabulous idea at the time except I don’t think my milk flow had properly established. I would quite easily fill an 8oz bottle which was way over the required amount for a newborn. Obviously trying to get Elliott to latch on again after I’d interfered with my flow was impossible as it was just too much for him now.
I continued to express for a whole month before Rob returned to work in which time it became too much for me to keep on top of the sterilising. So with a heavy heart I switched to bottle feeding.
Joseph
Not being deterred from my previous breastfeeding experience with Elliott and feeling more prepared having been through it before, I was once again determined to give breastfeeding a go. The first couple of days were similar to Elliott’s. Joseph latched on first time, fed well in the hospital and at home. I was still half naked all the time but was much more accepting of it.
Armed with an abundance of breast pads a mattress protector and disposable changing mats (for extra protection) I felt ready for when my milk came in.
My breasts soon became engorged again, but I found some light relief in gently massaging them with a hot towel before feeding Joseph. What I couldn’t find any relief from was the excruciating pain when he latched on. But I kept replaying my sisters words in my head “if you can get through the first two weeks, the pain subsides” The pain didn’t stop! Not even applying nipple cream.
I think somewhere along the line I’d managed to get a blocked ducked, which actually resulted in Joseph developing Thrush in the mouth. I was mortified that I’d given this to my baby and felt I’d failed him. He was given drops which I had to administer before each feed to clear it, but I think as soon as I heard those words from the Health Visitor I knew I’d go home and start bottle feeding him.
I must confess as soon as I made this decision to bottle feed a wave of relief washed over me. I wasn’t really enjoying breastfeeding as I was still in pain and how could Joseph be enjoying it if I’d given him Thrush! It also made feeding him 10 times quicker with a bottle which meant I was able to give Elliott more attention. With only 14 months between them, he was still so tiny himself when Joseph came along.
Anabelle
After two failed attempts at breastfeeding you might say I was setting myself up for another fall, but again for no other reason than I just wanted to give my child the best start, I vowed to try to breastfeed Anabelle.
Anabelle was not as quick to latch on in the hospital as the boys so although I was desperate to take her home to start life as a family of five, I decided to stay in hospital to establish feeding. She was born in the early hours of the morning but she didn’t feed properly until over 12 hours later. I think if I’d have left mid morning after she’d been seen by the paediatrician Anabelle’s experience could have been a completely different one.
The midwives kindly gave me a syringe throughout the day to catch my colostrum which we used to entice Anabelle to feed, dropping little bits into her mouth to give her a taste. It was such a relief when she eventually did latch on, and fed for an hour. The midwives popped in to check on us during this hour and were so pleased she’d fed well, they said we could go home. I was a little dubious it might all go Pete Tong once we’d got home, but they armed me with more syringes and assured me we’d be fine.
I decided to approach things one day at a time, not putting any pressure on myself. The same toe curling pain from chapped nipples and engorged breasts came but this time I was armed with Lansinoh Nipple Cream. To say it is a wonder product would be an understatement. I applied it before each feed and although it was still painful, it was most definitely more bearable. Then “that” day came, the one my Sister described where it would no longer be painful and I realised I’d been feeding exclusively for a month. Where had the time gone? And who knows what was different this time around.
It was also around this time Rob felt left out and wanted to share some of the feeding responsibility, but I was worried if I started expressing and introducing bottles too early Anabelle would get confused. By 12 weeks I felt she was fully established and was ready to try expressing milk and combination feeding. Unlike last time with Elliott (when Rob kindly nicknamed me Daisy the Cow) I found it incredibly hard to express milk and only managed 2oz after 30 minutes of expressing. I stayed upstairs whilst Rob attempted to feed her but she wouldn’t take the bottle and kept spitting the teat out. It actually seemed more hassle than it was worth, sterilising the breast pump and bottle, expressing the milk then attempting to feed her when I could have done it in half the time. Needless to say we didn’t attempt that again for a while.
Anabelle reached six months old and I was still exclusively breastfeeding. I must confess around this time I was a little exhausted as she’d wake around three or four times a night. I was also desperate to have a date night with Rob so I attempted expressing again. It didn’t go to plan and I accepted the fact the opportunity to combination feed had passed and I’d be exclusively doing it until we decided to stop altogether.
I eventually stopped breastfeeding Anabelle when she turned one. She wasn’t feeding anywhere near as much (except at night for comfort) and had a varied diet so I felt it was time. There were definitely moments before she was one it was hard and I wanted to stop. But the fact she wouldn’t take a bottle spurred me on, as well as realising in the grand scheme of things this is such a small part of her life how could I not give her what she needed? And what I loved doing.
If there is one thing I’ve learnt it’s that each baby is different, each situation is different and whether you decide to give breastfeeding a go or want to bottle feed from the off, your decision comes from the heart with the well being of you, your baby and your family in mind.
Don’t feel disheartened or daunted to attempt it again if you weren’t successful with your first born or second or third for that matter if that’s what you want to do. I actually can not believe I managed to do it for so long, especially with two failed attempts under my belt, but I’m SO pleased I did, and even more proud of myself for just giving it a go. I will cherish those moments forever.
Do you think you’d like to breastfeed? Has anybody else had any failed attempts that put them off trying again? Does anybody have any top tips to successfully establish combination feeding?
Image by Little Beanies
I fed my eldest until 18 months. She was only on one feed a day from 10 months and to be frank, it was more about giving me a lie in come 6am. I stopped when I became pregnant again. I never thought I’d continue for that long.
It wasn’t an easy ride at the beginning. I had a failed induction and ended up with a c section so my milk came in late. We ended up in hospital after she lost more than 10% of her body weight. Looking back it’s hardly surprising, she was huge at birth (10lb 6oz) but that was all water from 5 days of hospitalisation and drips. There is actually a very good article from the La Leche league that says babies shouldn’t be weighed after 3 days after a c section because they are bound to have lost more weight from the water and all that jazz. Now a lot of areas weigh at 5 days.
The hospital wanted to formula feed but I refused. I got (and it was the best £50 I spent) a private lactation consultant. If anyone is in North London, it’s Sally who runs the clinics at Rokesley in Crouch End. She was AMAZING. Just there for some one on one reassurance at the end of the phone or coming to the house to help me learn different positions for an extremely tall 60cm baby. I couldn’t have done it without her or the help of a group online.
Too much breast feeding support is having its funding cut. SO WRONG. Sign all your local petitions. Use local groups and private consultants but use them ASAP (within 48 hours!). Don’t wait two weeks because ‘it’s supposed to hurt’ or whatnot. Chances are you could have a tongue tie and it’s making the latch worse and more painful.
I should add we did have a tongue tie but not substantial enough to cause any problems.
Your Lactation Consultant sounds amazing Rebecca and sounds like she gave you all the support you needed. So pleased you stuck to your guns and it worked out for you in the end.
Perhaps I wasn’t latching my children on properly in the beginning which caused the cracked nipples, bleeding and pain. xxx
I 100% relate to those difficult first few weeks of breastfeeding. I’m 10 months on now (first baby) and I’m still breastfeeding (exclusively until 7 months) and look back so proud of myself for persevering. I too suffered from poor initial latch, was engorged had really cracked nipples, REALLY painful let down, blocked ducts and was in a lot of discomfort pretty much all day. I literally had tears rolling down my face while I nursed (or even when just wrapping a towel around me after a shower!). I remember I used to grip on so tightly to the bed covers while my baby happily fed. I dreaded feeding time and I remember my husband looking on feeling so helpless but so proud of me for putting my daughters needs first. I wasn’t prepared for how all consuming it was going to be, not just the long feeds so many times a day but how much we talked about technique, spent time reading online feeding blogs checking we were doing everything right, what I was feeling was normal and looking for ways of treating the pain as well as willing my boobs to heal and be less tender. Cabbage leaves, creams, hot towels, showering before feeds, massage, expressing (cautiously as I didn’t want to increase flow) tried it all waiting for the day for flow to regulate and for me to feel I was finally in a groove with it.
The support I had from the midwife team who visited me at home in the early weeks was fantastic. They could see my technique was right (how many you tube tutorials had I watched?!) but I was in pain because of damage caused in the first couple of days. I just had to ride it out. The best bit of advice they gave me was use nipple shields. This was something I didn’t even think about because they get a bad press and my sister was actively discouraged from using them by health professionals when she was feeding her daughter but they really were my turning point. They made a huge difference literally overnight. Made me comfortable while feeding and helped me heal despite the intense feeding regime. Luckily my baby quickly took to feeding from them and my supply wasn’t affected at all. I think without them I would have reluctantly given up breastfeeding because I was miserable and didn’t want anything to stop me fully enjoying my new baby. From then on my daughter gained weight quickly (tongue tie correction helped too) and I gained confidence and was so much more relaxed while feeding her. I stopped dreading feeds, could give up the shields a couple months later and now I’m at the point where I’ll be sad when my feeding days will be over.
Ah Lauren bless your heart, you are an absolute trooper for persevering. I’m so pleased you found your relief and have managed to breastfeed for so long. Once you do get the hang of it there is nothing more magical. But oh my can those first few weeks be testing. I think I was discourage from using shields, but perhaps with hindsight I should have given them a go as it could have lead to me being able to successfully feed all three of my children. xxx
I wish they would recommend them more – my little one has only ever been able to latch with nipple shields despite there being no actual problem with my nipples! ? We are 9 months into breastfeeding now and still use them. A bit of hassle but nothing compared to bottles and the like and it’s actually a nice reassuring barrier now he has six teeth! I’d recommend giving it a shot to anyone struggling with pain or latching, never interfered with supply or anything like that. Think the bad rap they have is outdated and based on the old fashioned ones, the medala ones are great.
Ah thanks for sharing Bec. It definitely sounds like nipple shields are worth a shot, and I like your thinking about a barrier from their teeth. I can only remember Anabelle biting me once. I think I winced and jumped so much I shocked her more! xxx
I had two very different experiences too.
My first daughter took to it with no problems at all.
I always had wanted to give breastfeeding a go but felt so conscious about feeding in public etc… I know us mummies should just do it and be strong advocates for breastfeeding but the thought if it made me very nervous.
So I fed her exclusively breast milk from both breast and bottle for 8 weeks and it worked like a dream.
Until my little lady decided to start sleeping 13 hours straight through the night and my milk supply immediately started to dwindle so we sadly had to switch to formula.
My second daughter was a much bigger baby and super hungry… she was latched on with felt like 24/7.
She also has terrible eczema and super sensitive skin and within 3 days her chin was raw from feeding and my nipples were so cracked that they were bleeding.
My midwife was great and said we needed to give her chin and my breasts a 24 hour break.
So we tried again but the same happened again.
So another 24 hour break was needed.
As you can imagine… After 48 hours on the bottle and only 5 days old my little lady had become used to the bottle and never breastfed again.
I think whatever us mummies do is all for the best for our little ones and the family and every baby is so different.
Xxx
Ah Nicci bless you. Sometimes with all the will and determination in the world we do just have to listen to our bodies and babies and switch to plan b.
You just have to share your secret to a sleeping through the night baby at 8 weeks… xxx
I had trouble with my son. I hated breast feeding and never got any pleasure from it and started to feel depressed. He was also loosing too much weight. I had the words ‘breast is best’ ringing in my ears so carried even though I was miserable my son cried constantly and wasn’t thriving. I’m really proud of myself making the decision to switch to a bottle. It changes everything for my family. My son was suddenly happy, I was happy and my husband was happy. It wasn’t an easy decision but I don’t believe anyone should feel like a failure because they didn’t breastfeed.
We exclusively breastfed for 6 months. Without a doubt the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I surprised myself with how determined I was to continue. At 6 months I started to introduce formula in preparation for going back to work part time at 9 months. We’d tried expressed milk before but she wouldn’t take a bottle. So I started at 6 months to offer a few ounces formula in a sippy cup at one feed per day, gradually increasing to 7 ounces and cutting out the breast. Now I just do one breastfeed at bed time, formula the rest of the time. We use a tommee tippee cup with removable non-spill valve. Used the valve at first but soon removed it when she got the hang of feeding herself so it’s free flow which is much better for their teeth too!
Just to encourage those who’s babies don’t like the bottle, might be worth trying a cup.
Lovely to hear all the different stories
Lovely as always to read the different stories. My little boy didn’t seem to be able to latch due to my small nipple’s perhaps (too much information yet? ? ) The nurse gave me nipple shields and finally my hungry baby could feed! We used them until he was about 3 1/2 months old then he was strong enough to go without. They were a huge help and didn’t reduce my supply at all! I think I still could feed two babies according to the amount I leak still at 6 1/2 months!
My first baby is due in November and I am very excited to try breast feeding. Whenever I have seen the midwives and mentioned this they look pleased and relieved that I am going to try. They have to be fair said they support whichever the new mom chooses however to try – even if baby gets just 2 or 3 days of breast milk then this is good.
When I went for my 20wk scan the lovely sonographer told me some advice that I feel is amazing – she said to stay in hospital past day 3 as this is when your milk comes in (something I didn’t know before this appointment!) – she said they encourage it at my local hospital so that the midwives can help you establish this. I fully intend to do this. I feel pretty clueless about how to breastfeed other than what I read on here – should I get a book to read before the big day?!
Hi Ellen,
I don’t know of any books but I was exactly the same as you this time last year: baby due in November and so excited to breast feed. We stayed in hospital an extra night to make sure feeding was established but not long enough for my milk to have come in so if you can stay for that long it sounds good. My top tips would be to make sure you have plenty of lansinoh cream and apply after every feed, drink lots of water, and take all help offered for nappy changing, house cleaning, cooking etc as you will pretty much do nothing except feed for the first few weeks. I hadn’t heard of cluster feeding which is when baby feeds pretty much constantly from afternoon into evening time. It can be exhausting and discouraging when you think baby can’t possibly be hungry again but it’s their way of “pre-ordering” what they need for the next day. Try to just relax on the sofa with baby and some good snacks and tv on. Reading the breast feeding stories on RMF and other blogs can be helpful, although I was a bit disappointed that I couldn’t find a completely positive story anywhere, but I’ve learnt that that’s because there probably isn’t one because it is hard work and it does hurt to begin with, but once you get past the first couple of weeks it’s so much easier when you’re out and about, and it’s lovely quality time with your little one. Good luck with it all. Lx
Thank you Laura! I am going to speak to the midwife again and say at birth I want to stay in – they allow it here it seems and a colleague stayed in for 5 days and slept all night while they had her baby! Sounds too good to be true. My lovely Fiancé is right behind me and whatever I can manage. Roll on November! x