Ethan was born in Australia, and my experience as a pregnant lady in the land down under was that *everyone* seemed to be breastfeeding. It was widely accepted and very much the norm. I actually don’t even remember being asked if I had a preference for how I would feed my child whilst I was pregnant. It was just assumed that it would be by boob.
I was quite passionate about trying everything I could to establish breastfeeding and due to being surrounded by women who were breastfeeding or had breastfed, I was given two things. One, complete confidence that it was possible (awesome) and two, a total false sense that it would be super easy (not so awesome).
Needless to say, the day Ethan was born, our first few feeds were fumbly, painful and full of instruction from midwives. The support was fantastic and very eh… involved (after having 6 pairs of hands consecutively up my van-doot during the labour, at this stage I was quite desensitised to having my boobs poked and prodded). But along with the collective will to ‘succeed’, (and I cringe at that term because in my eyes a well fed child is a successfully fed child), there was definitely a sense of overwhelming pressure to make breastfeeding work.
After three days of manipulating his latch and my breasts, one midwife asked me if I’d ever thought of a nipple sheild. I had no idea what such a thing was, but it turned out to be a little silicone disc that fit perfectly over my nipple and this thing was a complete saviour. Ethan latched on immediately and had his first, proper, full and pain-free-for-me feed.
The shield became our best pal and the only way I could get Ethan to latch on.
At my six week check, the midwife asked to see me breastfeed Ethan to make sure all was going well. Without thinking I popped open the little yellow case, put on the nipple shield and immediately noticed the disapproval on the midwife’s face. She then told me that using a shield was ‘not allowing my baby to get the full benefits of breastfeeding and further more, if I continued to use it after 12 weeks, he would never be able to feed without a shield’.
Talk about guilting the mother. Here I am feeling great about feeding my son and then immediately my efforts were not enough, all because of a little thin piece of silicone. It’s amazing how in those fragile early days, one piece of misplaced advice can crumble your confidence.
I continued to feed using the shield, albeit self consciously, and at bang-on four months old Ethan refused to latch on with the shield and latched onto the boob perfectly fine by himself unaided. We continued unaided with breastfeeding until he was one year old. To this day, I like to think it was his big two fingers up to the lady who told us we were too dependent on the shield and would never do it (in her words) “naturally”.
Did any of you use a nipple shield? Or receive any particularly unhelpful advice in the early days?
Rock on, Naomi and Ethan!! ✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽
Your story is basically everything that’s wrong with the way we treat parents. Instead of encouraging mamas (and Dads) to use their instincts, know their baby and find a way that works – we insist on them toeing a (very narrow) line of what’s considered acceptable in parenting. It really makes me sad that that lady couldn’t look at you and ethan and see how he was thriving and just think, cool keep doing what you’re doing.
Looking back, we had a relatively easy breastfeeding journey but it was still hard because it’s so intense and it’s happening when you’re at you’re most exhausted and most emotional. I do very much wish that we were more realistic with mums to be about breastfeeding. People say they don’t want to “put people off” but I think it creates a false expectation which then makes women feel lost and alone when it ends up being overwhelmingly hard. We need to be saying “it’s tough, expect it to be hard but the pros and benefits to your baby really make it worth giving this your best shot. But if it doesn’t work out, forget it and don’t regret anything!”. And, alongside that, we have to offer Mums support at every turn – far more than they currently get.
ANYWAY, that’s my two pence worth!
I had a sort of similar situation at my son’s one year review. As soon as the woman found out he co-sleeps, she started explaining how we should put him in his cot and leave him to cry for up to two minutes. I found it so frustrating – obviously we are doing what works best for our baby, why couldn’t she just ASK us if it’s working for us and, when we said yes, said “cool, looks like you got this” or SOME sort of encouragement, rather than making us feel we got a big fat F on the sleep test. Come on people, we need more positivity! 👏👍🏽👌👌👌
We “failed” the sleep test too at our 10 month review as I feed to sleep (or more accurately he falls asleep whilst feeding) and we co sleep. I was pretty blunt with the HV that I wasn’t prepared to pull him off the boob awake and put him in his cot and co sleeping was saving all of our sanity! She then did mutter something about if it suits our lifestyle and we moved on! I think the health visitor service is invaluable but too many of my friends leave a meeting feeling that they are doing a crap job. I can understand if I’d gone in at my wits end asking for help to stop feeding to sleep and stop co sleeping but I didn’t. Sometimes problems are created when indeed there are none.
Yes I’m so glad we have the health visitor service but I think there needs to be a step change in their approach – rather than tickboxing all parents with what they should/shouldn’t be doing, they need to actually listen to them a bit more (I’m sure there are some health visitors who do just this). Like you say, if we were asking for advice because things weren’t working, I would understand but, like you, we are happy with how things work.
I’m now just imagining my son’s face if I took the boob away and put him down in his cot and told him to go to sleep. HAH.
I think my sympathy votes kick in when it comes to health visitors because I don’t think they’re given the free reign on these matters. There are such strict guidelines surrounding every aspect of parenting that it’s like they have no choice to ‘advise’ you.
That being said, there’s definitely a more compassionate way to be dealing with new parents. It’s such an uncertain time.
I fed Ethan to sleep for a long time, then eventually, he just started wanting to be put down. I’m a fan of trying the baby-led approach. It saves everyone’s sanity.
I’ve been really lucky- our HVs are very supportive and non judgemental. Feeding to sleep at 1 year was “absolutely natural and she’ll stop when she’s ready” and they encourage you to cosleep safely rather than risk doing so inadvertently. Devon hippies?!
I do think the “breastfeeding is easy” thing is part of a culture that infantilises women- it’s the same thing as implying birth plans are pointless and unrealistic. We make big calls, we need and can handle all the information.
The current situation of lots of pressure and poor support is divisive and not working!
Totally agree with this comment! 👍🏼 I hate it when ‘professionals’ tell you to let your baby cry. If parents have decided for themselves that they want to try controlled crying then fine, but to be actively advised that this is what you SHOULD be doing when you don’t feel the need to is just wrong in my opinion. Listen to your own instincts and do what feels right for you and your baby I say! That way you’ll be happy and baby will be happy 😊
The my eldest was born he was a bit small and had low blood sugars so had a brief admission to SCBU. He needed tube feeds for a couple of days and I was expressing. Loads of milk (luckily) but not able to feed him. I was pretty relaxed about all this as I’m a paediatrician so knew what was going on!
Actually getting him on boob though became quite a mission – weird nipples (who knew!) and a slightly odd mouth/jaw shape in baby meant nipple shields were our only option. I used them till he didn’t want them (? Around six months) and feed him till I was pregnant with the next one. Currently typing one handed as I boob feed number three (6 months old) with shields firmly in place! Xxx
Oh Victoria… Does being a paediatrician make parenting easier or more scary? I’ve always wondered this.
I remember the one handed/boob feeding everything. I actually suggested that someone should write a book called ‘The One Handed Cook’. Would have helped me get dinner on the table some nights 🙂
My little boy is four days old and the breastfeeding is in that toe-curlingly painful stage. Thankfully one of my mama friends mentioned nipple shields so I thought I’d give them a try. Thank GOD I did! It’s still painful but much less so. I wish I’d given them a go whilst feeding Lyra.
Good on you for continuing to use the shields and going with your instincts x
Huge congratulations Lisa <3 xx
Thanks Maike! 😘
Ahhhhh amazing news!! Congrats lady. I just had a peek on your Insta. Jenson is just gorgeous! Please give us more baby photos!!
And re: breastfeeding… Just remember, it. does. get. easier.
I’ve had so many friends of two tell me that this little piece of knowledge from having the first kid makes having the second so much more relaxed.
Thaaanks!
Yes I’m repeating to myself that it does get easier and everything is just a phase. X
I am SO pleased you wrote this when you did..are you psychic?! I am sat here with my two week old son ( will never not want to cry when I say that!) and resorted to shields after 5 days of hell. The health visitor was very sweet yesterday and ‘suggested ‘ that I keep trying without which I am doing as I type. Ouch. I agree that fed is best..it’s so frustrating isn’t it? I’m breastfeeding him by whatever means possible and it’s still frowned upon! Advice has been that he won’t fill himself up ( or empty the breast) with a shield. But he’s putting on weight..grrr! Obviously if he could perfect his latch it would make life easier, less sterilising, remembering to take shields everywhere etc. But I’ve finally decided to take what would be my own advice if a friend was experiencing the same-“he’s your child, it’s your body, do what feels right’ .
Anna, you nailed it in the last sentence.
My personal experience with Ethan was that he THRIVED in those months where I was using the shield. And drained both boobs at every feed. So if you’re happy and baby is happy, I say choose the path of least resistance.
Also, in Australia (and I’m not too sure of the guidelines here), they told me that I didn’t need to sterilise the shield as breast milk is antibacterial. So a simple wash in hot soapy water worked just fine for us.
This is such a great post today! When planning for our babies arrival we went along to an NHS class about breastfeeding. I wanted to feed but I didn’t put too much pressure on myself. When Oliver arrived he was rushed to NICU and was a very poorly boy. After 12 days on a ventilator and lots of expressing I started trying to feed him on our first non ventilated cuddle. It was amazing he instinctively searched and latched on but it hurt and he was so tiny, I was sure something wasn’t right. i kept persevering and remember the first night he was in the nursery and I was the only mum who sat there virtually all night trying to feed with the nurses watching on Only for them to eventually feed him through the tube. I was so disheartened. A fantastic nurse finally diagnosed a quite severe tongue tie and so we were shown how to use the nipple shields, he latched but it was slow and fiddly however he was feeding so I thought I’ll take that. We were sent home with an appointment in a month for his tongue tie to be snipped. Next came 2 weeks of hell, I fed all day and all night and he was cross and hungry. However after seeing his instinct when I first tried to feed, having missed those first precious cuddles and expressing for 2 weeks I suddenly became more determined than I have been in my entire life that I was going to feed him. We found a private doctor who carried out the tongue tie procedure and he latched on immediately without the shields. When we got home I struggled for a further 6 weeks using the shield before he finally learnt to latch on without the shields. I took myself to a breastfeeding group at about 6 weeks old and it was the best thing I did, they re-positioned him and gave me some time and just listened. And here we are, still feeding at 8 months old.
I have met many amazing mummies in the last 8 months who have all been on there own breast feeding journey, some who combine feed and some who have fed for hours and hours with fussy babies. For those who are in the beginning of their journey, seek help, it is possible to overcome difficulties, don’t put pressure on yourself either way you are doing a great job, it is hard, it’s stressful, it feels to me we are sent home to learn by ourselves, the midwives are so busy and they are already doing an incredible job at getting our babies into the world safely that they just don’t always ave the time we need. But most importantly talk about it,
It’s so true Jess! Having the help and input of others and being around other breastfeeding mums can be so helpful. I didn’t go, but I have friends who joined breastfeeding meet ups via facebook and got great support there.
Realistically, we’ve largely grown up in a society where breastfeeding hasn’t been the norm or a public thing. So how are you supposed to know how to do something that you’ve maybe never seen before? Hopefully times are a-changin’. And we can start to support each other no matter our parenting choices.
My son was born 7.5 weeks prematurely but was thankfully able to breathe on his own and only spent 15 days in the neonatal unit. However, he couldn’t come home until he could feed without intubation. He was so tiny and my boobs are quite big but I kept trying to get him to latch on with limited ‘success’ (like you I agree the success lies in your baby being well fed and happy, however that occurs), but with lots of encouragement from the neonatal nurses. One of them eventually suggested a nipple shield just to see if it would help. And my word, the difference was immediate! He took to it straight away and the relief and pleasure I felt at that moment was so intense knowing he would be able to come with us soon. There was no stigma attached to the shield that I was aware of, but I did want to get to a point where we didn’t need it – mainly because I am so lazy and thought it would be so much less faff (sterilising it etc) without it. I think I tried him without it at about 8 weeks and he wasn’t sure, but after a few more attempts he just latched on. He is now 6 months old and I still feed him myself although about to start weaning soon!! Essentially- I guess I’m saying if a nippple shield is good enough for a premature baby and recommended by some of the best nurses in the world then it is fine by me!!! Xxx
Agreed Sarah! Sometimes I wonder if they perhaps just need to get used to *feeding* first, before they can master their latch. If you think about it, it’s the first time they’ve ever had to eat through their mouths!
I fed Elle for 13 months using nipple shields! They saved our breastfeeding journey. Tongue tie, jaundice and my flat/small nipples meant it was going horribly. Luckily an AMAZING breastfeeding counsellor suggested using them. I tried to stop, but it was distressing for both of us and just made feeding SO much easier for us. Elle didn’t have any problems with putting on weight once we started using them and so I’m ALL for them! I think if you’re having issues that are beyond your control (ie having almost no nipple) then they are essential. Great post as always Naomi xxxx
Good on you Fern! I’ve yet to speak with a Mum who used a shield and encountered the things they warn against (not enough food, not draining boobs etc). Glad it worked for you and gorgeous little Elle (that photo of her in the hat in the doorway – I die!) xo
Thank you so much for this post!
I have just found out I’m expecting twins!
Whilst I had always planned to breastfeed when I was expecting one baby, I have heard from another twin mummy that it is so difficult with two (and I assume double the discomfort!)
I’m really keen to breastfeed the twins and had never heard of a nipple shield, I will definitely be getting 2 in preperation.
Thank you!
Just saw your post after I’d made mine. Congratulations on expecting twins! There’s no denying it’s hard work and you need to adjust expectations across the piece. However, it’s also great fun to have two bundles of joy and they comfort each other – holding hands, nuzzling and speaking their own secret language! Have you joined Tamba yet? Well worth it for the discounts alone. They run a breastfeeding seminar which I wish I’d done but also have a breastfeeding peer support group which I found really useful. Hope it works out for you.
Congrats Kate!! I have a lovely friend who is currently breastfeeding twins. They’re 6 months old now and she finds it more convenient at this stage than carrying around and sterilising bottles. But admittedly, it looked tough in the beginning!!
Best of luck with it all, please keep us posted. Are you on Instagram?
Thanks Sophie and Naomi! It’s really encouraging hearing your advice, and I will check out Tamba!
Yes, I’m on Instagram @katelilydaze
Xx
Also check out Bex at the Olive Dragonfly’s post on breastfeeding twins. Think she fed them both to just over a year. AMAZING.
I heart Bex!!
Thanks for this timely post. My twins were born prematurely and so I wasn’t able to breastfeed in hospital. Midwives said they use up too much energy trying and we had to bottle feed to get their weights up. I have therefore been feeding them expressed bottled milk since my milk came in. It’s tough but I was determined to do this for them and thought we could then try breastfeeding later as my milk supply would be established. After a few painful attempts a shield was recommended by a lactation consultant and it’s made a massive difference and allowed my daughter (now 5 weeks old) to breastfeed on both sides much more easily so well worth it. I’m really not clear why it’s frowned upon so much especially when it allows us to breastfeed and all involved are happy with it and second that there could be much more help with breastfeeding. Really glad to know we’d just move away from using the shield if she’s ever ready/it’s possible though as it does take a little extra time and hassle and with two mouths to feed….
I would like to give you a virtual standing ovation. Your determination to go with what you wanted is admirable. Especially when you’re not getting the support you need. Glad you made things a teeny bit easier on yourself with the shield too!
I’m having a really similar experience Naomi. My soon is 13 weeks and eventually latched thanks an amazing midwife, after days of failed attempts and lots of manually pumping, but kept falling off making him really upset and frustrated (apparently I have flat nipples). I read about nipple shields online and instantly Oscar latched and got a full feed with no tears. I spent the next two months feeling guilty about using the shields, telling people I was breastfeeding, but using nipple shields, like it was something awful. Both the midwife and health visitor told me not to worry as long he was feeding, turns out I was the only one making myself feel guilty. I did try to persist with a ‘natural’ latch but gave up about a month ago. I am hoping one day it just happens as like you said, it was be less hassle remembering to bring them everywhere (I’ve had a couple of panic moments without them). He is a healthy, chubby boy so I’m happy he’s getting fed and he seems happy with a full tummy, surely that’s the most important thing?
Oh Hannah! If there was one real downside for me, it was the couple of times I forgot to bring them. That moment of dread is pretty bad. But I was lucky to just pop into a chemist and pick up another one. A bit like a dummy!
You’re right. A well fed and happy baby is the ultimate goal. No matter how you get there.
Great post Naomi. There is so much unnecessary negativity regarding nipple shields – they allowed me to breastfeed my son after a tongue tie/flat nipple combo left my nips literally shredded and were hands down the best £8.99 I’ve ever spent! Although I took 7 weeks (!) to heal and they are undoubtably a faff (my god the panic when you think you’ve gone out without that little yellow case!), my son gained weight, I was pain free, and my husband was saved from a nervous breakdown watching me feed in tears and agony! At 6 months precisely, my son latched without the shield and now a month on I barely use them.
Fern, I re-read the old breastfeeding stories in the archives not long ago and wished I’d seen yours earlier!
Hayley it sounds like we had a really similar experience. Mine took ages to heal too as along with the feeding damage, I managed to blister myself (OUCH!) with a hospital grade pump. Not my finest moment. Glad you got things sorted 🙂
I’d definitely encourage everyone to go back and read the teams BFing stories – it’s a really mixed bag of experiences and I think most bases/scenarios are covered!
I actually read all the team’s feeding stories before writing this! I loved that there’s such a variety. And everyone’s bambinos are growing and thriving.
Amazing post Naomi thank you so much for shedding light on this issue! Everyone around me seemed to be breastfeeding normally but my little girl always struggled to get a good latch and I felt like such a failure. She was losing weight so the midwives in hospital even ended up having to give her a bottle of formula at 3 days old. After 2 weeks of painful nipples and her falling on and off the boob constantly, with me worrying if she was ever getting enough to eat I tried nipple shields. What an absolute lifesaver!!! Using these changed everything. I breastfed her successfully for over 6months after which we switched seamlessly to bottles. Using nipple shields meant she could go from bottle to nipple whenever we wanted without her knowing the difference really so my husband could feed her expressed milk or formula in the evenings. I remember the health visitor at my 6 week check being horrified when she saw the little yellow case and said that using nipple shields meant she would never latch on naturally and they would be hard to wean off and you can’t use them in public! I did all of these things – I have no idea why there is such a stigma surrounding nipple shields when they protect your nipple from damage and help babies latch on (especially if you have small nipples or your baby has a high pallet or tongue tie or any feeding issue really). Most of my friends said they never even knew I was using them! I honestly believe if the NHS gave out £4 nipple shields when you have a baby there would be hundreds of thousands more mums breastfeeding their babies.
You can’t use them in public?! What utter nonsense!! I frequently popped a shield on one handed before anyone ever even noticed I was feeding.
I was given a shield when I was in hospital with Ethan and I reckon it was the fact that I had it from the start that made the whole thing easier to go with. I didn’t need to go out and buy one after leaving which probably would have seemed like too much hassle at the time!
Love your pic in the header Naomi. I have inverted nipples (well, I used to – now one is in and one is out, which is SO attractive) and although I was told it shouldn’t be a barrier to breastfeeding, I think it did contribute to the gigantic open sore I developed on my right nipple about one week in. On the advice of a friend and one fabulous midwife, I tried shields and they totally saved us. My daughter was two in January and we still use them (though I do not usually mention the fact that we still breastfeed as all our family think it’s weird). She’s happy, I’m happy and breastmilk is good for her no matter how she’s getting it. I don’t care if it’s frowned upon by the purists.
Baby no. 2 is currently on the way and I’m going to try feeding the new arrival sans shields. But, if I need them, I’ll be using them without hesitation. Whatever works for you works and nobody else has the right to judge.
Also, ‘van-doot’ – ha! I’m from NI too and my husband has a charming story about the birth of our daughter which involves him telling anyone who’ll listen about the group of junior doctors who all watched as the midwife shone a torch up my ‘doot’. I have no memory of said event and think my brain was trying to filter it out. 🙂
Tracy I have a massive chunk missing from one nipple now too… just as attractive as mismatched nipples 😉
Oh this! My midwife this time took one look at my poor old nips and said “Wow, your older one really mangled those for you.”
Cheers…. 😫
I’m sitting in a cafe in the Cathedral Quarter of Belfast and I just laughed out loud at your recognition of van-doot!! SO funny. I didn’t realise it was a local thing.
I have (had) quite flat nipples – but after breastfeeding for 12 months, they now have a perk that wasn’t there before. Little side benefit I reckon 🙂
Also good on you and feeding your daughter, I encountered family thinking Ethan was getting ‘too old’ to be fed at one year old. People can be so short sighted.
Urgh, what is it about nipple shields that midwives and health visitors find so distasteful!! We had an AWFUL time at the beginning with feeding, I won’t go into the details but basically it turns out a slightly early baby can be more backwards at learning to feed than a really early (or of course full term) baby. Cue much frustration, hand expressing (because I was REALLY determined to breastfeed), crying that I may lose the milk production I had worked so hard to build up (oh so much crying), and then someone suggested nipple shields. Hallelujah!!! Not a total miracle for us, it took some time to make them work but she was better at latching using those than any other way. But we had to hide it from the disapproving midwives in hospital (who had seen me struggle, even the infant feeding specialist couldn’t find anything wrong, just a reluctant baby via breast or bottle, any way in fact), and then the lovely health visitor, my saviour, who advised trying not to use it but by all means if it is a means to get food into the little person then great. I love people with common sense. As you say Naomi one day she just got it and we never used the shield again. Funny little creatures… I heartily recommend trying everything and anything to make whatever feeding option you choose work for you. Just like some babies don’t like drinking formula or expressed milk from certain bottles, clearly some babies don’t take to whatever it is about the boobs but find nipple shields easier. Hooray to all types of innovation! And just for anyone needing details the Medela ones are really good, the best I tried. Lots of hugs and positive vibes to all those who are finding feeding tricky, however you are choosing to feed. x
I used the Medela ones too.
“Hooray to all types of innovation!” – exactly Annie!! How lucky are we to live in a time and place with all kinds of help and wonderful inventions?! There are still women in this world who – if breastfeeding isn’t working out – tough crap, your child doesn’t get fed. Very grateful to have so many options.
Wow, what an insulting comment! I’ve been very lucky and my Health Visitor has been great (very much happy mum=happy baby!). I started using a nipple shield on my left boob after the skin started peeling off and I bled with every feed. One I’d had a chance to heal, I just took it off and continued feeding without. The boy never had any confusion or trouble latching on with either – he was just happy to get his milk 😀
I’m definitely going to make sure I’ll have some available if we’re lucky enough to have another one so I don’t need to send the husband out again in a panic on Sunday afternoon!
So happy you’ve got an understanding HV Maike, it makes all the difference in the beginning!
My baby was born 6 weeks prematurely and although I had lots of milk, Lily initially struggled to latch and the nurses immediately gave me a shield which worked brilliantly for her. Although the shields were a bit of a faff and prevented me from feeding discretely I think they essentially were the reason I was able to breastfeed. I tried removing the shields at fairly regular intervals using all manner of approaches but Lily got very upset every time so that after 6 months I gave up trying to get rid of them and just embraced them and felt grateful they existed. I breastfed her for more than eleven months and hopefully I will be able to breastfeed without them if we have another baby but I certainly wouldn’t hesitate too long before I used them again. Good luck to anyone using them at the moment. You’re doing a great job! Don’t listen to the judgy HVs etc!
If we ever had another Natalie, I think I would try without too. There are so many variables with baby that it’s hard to know exactly the reason why a latch doesn’t work.
I’m breastfeeding my little girl, haven’t needed nipple shields, although there were plenty of trials and tribulations! Just wanted to say though that this post and comments are fab, so helpful and I’ll be bookmarking this for if/when there’s a number two! Thanks RMF
So pleased to have seen this! When I had my son we had a very hard couple of nights in hospital trying to establish feeding. I have flat nipples (who knew?!) and it wasn’t until the midwives gave me a shield to use did we have a breakthrough. I fed him for 6 months with the shields until I went back to work. None of my friends had even heard of shields and I remember a few saying if only they had known abt them when they were trying to establish feeding…
Currently pregnant wth my second child and have got shields on the list for my hospital bag. Going to try without them but as an earlier poster wrote, I will use them again if needs be. I didn’t experience any negative judgements because of the shields however I did get pressurised to top up with formula when my son dropped a centile. I didn’t and just persevered and he is now a thriving 3 year old who is constantly on the go and thus constantly hungry haha.
What a lovely post about your experience, thank you for sharing 😀
Having not managed to get past the first 2 weeks bf my 1st and 2nd and going to formula and them turning out big healthy boys anyway, by the time no.3 arrived I was all for giving it another go but not too concerned if it didn’t work out again. Thankfully it did and I put this down more to the fact that as I was now on baby no.3 I was a lot more confident in myself as a mother and in following my own instincts. Not that those first 6-8 weeks weren’t without their difficulties. The cracked bleeding nipples and mastitis are never going to be a fun time let’s face it! But it definitely got easier and actually I loved every minute of it. I had hoped to get to 6 months. We made it to 19! (Not entirely my choice I have to add. I did try to wean from 12 months but he just was having none of it and I wasn’t ready to fight him on the matter). We fed to sleep past the 1st year and co-slept (all 3 of my boys did until almost 2 years). I am definitely an advocate for whatever works for you and stops you losing your sanity completely just do it. Babies are hard work bottle or breast fed and I definitely don’t think mums comparing their parenting to others helps anybody. Especially since every mum out there is just trying to do the best for their own and I think they just need encouraged no matter what and to be told every once in a while that you’re doing a good job even on your worst days xx. Ps loved this wee piece Naomi xx
When does the shaming stop? I could only get my little boy to latch with the shields and was so grateful. Then someone told me to discontinue using them for they would decrease my supply. I just laughed out loud, I could have fed two babies! When he was four to five months old he latched perfectly without the shields and I breastfeed him until he was one. Fed is best! No matter what or how!
My baby wouldn’t latch at all after she was born, and it was only after a few days of breastfeeding counsellors watching me try to feed her and admit they couldn’t see what was wrong (no help at all) that a community midwife suggested a shield. She latched immediately and a week or so later was able to latch without it. Without the shield I’m certain I wouldn’t have been able to breastfeed her. 11 weeks on and we both find it the easiest and most natural thing in the world (even enjoyable!), but midwives need to be honest with new mums about the reality of establishing feeding – it can be really really hard for some people. I felt like an absolute failure, but so many new mums are in the same boat!
Hi – I’m in Australia, so hoping I’m not commenting too late to get some of the amazing advice that is available here!
I am expecting my first baby in 4 weeks (eek!) and am really stressed about breastfeeding. As Naomi says, it’s so much the norm over here that I’ve found myself wondering – what exactly do you DO if in those early days it’s excruciating and you need a break? Do you express? Or do you have a back-up of formula in the cupboard?? Also, is expressing less painful and does it help you to find BFing less painful?
Thanks so much in advance for the advice!!!
PS I just went online and ordered a breast shield and a ton of Lanolin – best to be prepared!!
Hi! I’m not an expert but I am one of the ones who had a tough time at the beginning. Honestly, all I can say is that every baby is different, it is best to be prepared for all eventualities and try not to stress out about it (easier said than done!!). And having a small supply of formula is wonderful peace of mind even if you never use it in my experience. Once feeding is established it shouldn’t hurt once the latch is right and your nipples have hardened a bit (sorry tmi!!), but shouldn’t doesn’t mean won’t (or you may never experience pain at all – fingers crossed!!). I had to express exclusively for the first 6 weeks due to latch issues and a reluctant feeder, so my experience is not the best, but I persevered because I’m stubborn like that and it all worked out in the end. Of course I had my fair share of friends who couldn’t or didn’t want to feed, or those whose milk supply couldn’t match demand, or indeed babies who would only breastfeed the whole time!! Honestly, they are all different and all mummies are different too so don’t beat yourself up about it no matter what you end up doing.
Friends who breastfed generally tried to express a bit when they could (after a few weeks) to help mix things up and also help the baby adjust to taking a bottle as well for when you want to go out one evening for example, or more usefully so that dad can do a feed and you can get a little bit more sleep. Some expressed in the evening, a little before the feed was due just to get to bed early (I did a bit of that sometimes once my baby fed properly), and some expressed after I think the first feed of the day, as I believe it is common for milk supply to be better in the morning. Again, each person is different though so you can see what works best for you, and no doubt lots of books and websites can give you hints and tips about when and how this would work best. But bear in mind some babies don’t like bottles!! So sometimes, if breastfeeding is going well, they can be stubborn and refuse to take the bottle. Breast shields and lanolin are then your best friend.
The best thing I can say go with the flow, try not to stress out about it, and I’m sure there will be lots of advice available to you when your little one arrives. And don’t be shy to ask for help!! You can’t be expected to know everything when you have never done it before. Good luck!!!! And I hope that helps a little, although again I’m not an expert so I’m sure lots of other people will offer different advice.
Thank you so much for your advice Annie, it really helps. I am trying not to worry too much – we will just cross that bridge when we come to it (and hope we don’t, of course!). My midwives are fantastic and full of advice, and I’m going to a breastfeeding class at the hospital next week so it seems like there will be lots of support. Exciting and scary times ahead, and I cannot wait!
First of all congrats on your upcoming motherhood! Now most important: don’t stress! Fed is best, not neccessarily breast is best!
I for one am glad that I didn’t have formula in the house or I might have given in one night and might have regretted it the next morning (sometimes your worries are much bigger at night, when in truth they aren’t!) Having nipple shields at hand is a great preparation. I couldn’t have breastfed my son the first months without them. Nipple shield already protect your nipples somewhat, so it doesn’t get as painful as without. Expressing works too if you Need a break and I personally found it not painful or uncomfortable at all.
Good luck, you’ll be fine no matter how long you manage to breastfeed in the end. And yes it can be painful at times, but once it is established, it really is the easiest way to feed your baby.
Thank you so much Anja for taking the time to get back to me! You’re totally right, as long as bub is fed and growing, that’s all I care about really. Although there is a lot of pressure here to breastfeed, and it’s definitely my Plan A, I am trying to just see how we go and if we have to mix in some formula from time to time I’m not going to beat myself up about it. Fingers crossed my baby has a good latch and I’m worrying about nothing, but I feel good that I am at least as prepared as I can be in advance. And I’ll have my mum here with me to help too, which is taking a bit weight off my mind!