We are getting all personal today on the subject of how long conception takes and I’m guessing the answer for most people is the age old ‘How long is a piece of string?’.
However, I thought it might be nice to get a bit of a discussion going today. I’m sure there are many people for whom it happened quickly, some who took many months and some for who it sadly takes a lot longer. Whatever your own personal situation it is always nice to know that you aren’t alone and that’s where you, our lovely readers, can help. I know I got to a point where I was googling this a lot.
We first made a decision to start trying for a baby back in 2010. I was very relaxed about it and thought it will happen when it happens. I was also adamant I would not become one of those women obsessed with ovulation and the exact right time to have sex. Oh how wrong I was.
At the time I was on the pill so stopped taking it in July. I had actually been told it can take some time for you to get pregnant when you have been on the pill so was a little surprised when I missed my period in September. In truth, as much as I wanted it, I was still a little bit apprehensive and didn’t do a pregnancy test for a few weeks. Sadly that pregnancy wasn’t meant to be and I had an early miscarriage at about 8 weeks. I was adamant we start trying again after a few months and sadly had two further unconfirmed early miscarriages. By this point I was starting to really worry. Blimey, in the grand scheme of things it really hadn’t been that long. Only about 6 months but to me it felt an eternity and everything seemed to revolve around getting pregnant.
I hate to admit it but I became that obsessed person who tried everything I could to get pregnant. I feel this is a whole post in itself so we will get our top tips together soon for you all!
I finally took the decision to buy an ovulation kit and, what do you know, that month I got pregnant with Molly. Coincidence or not, it worked for me. Despite everything that had gone on before I was strangely not at all worried this time. It was as if I knew it would all be ok. So 9 months of trying for a baby before I had 9 months of being pregnant.
Alice was the complete opposite. Let’s just say she was unplanned (luckily she is too young to be reading this!!). Molly was only 11 months when a few bottles of champagne at a friends wedding resulted in little Alice. Although we had been planning a second it was certainly not yet. However, given the problems we had had conceiving previously it was so nice not to have to worry or think about it. I had a whole host of other worries going on in my head but that was not one of them.
So I guess you could say that my first pregnancy took some time, although not as long as many, and my second was a little bit speedy!
As always please do share your stories below.
I had heard about it taking a while to become pregnant when coming off the pill – however no one tells you that in the first week or so you get a fertility spike. (They should tell you that!) So there was I thinking we had a bit of time to think about it and just see what happens, and it turns out I was pregnant within a week! Bit of a shock but my 7 month old baby boy is gorgeous of course. 🙂
It’s so stressful I was one off these girls who thought it would happen within a few months. When in fact it took us 20 months nearly a whole 2 years with operations and in the end we conceived on clomid after 6 months on the drug we got our positive.
Our Mollie is now 10 months old and we’ll worth the wait. Any off u out there trying please don’t stress it will happen wen it’s meant too. Love to u all. Xx
Congratulations on your little boy’s arrival. I didn’t know about the fertility spike either Kerri! x
Morning! Thanks for sharing Lottie- I had no idea you had experienced miscarriages and I’m so sorry that you did.
We were so lucky with Silvia- second month of trying and I just knew it had worked, pretty sure of the exact encounter!
Two seemed to be our lucky number as I fell pregnant after two months of deliberate carelessness this March. Sadly it wasn’t to be- I’ve just about recovered from an ectopic pregnancy that thankfully was managed and resolved naturally.
We have agreed to take a break over the summer and try again at Christmas- who knows if it will take two (months) next time?
Oh Lucy, I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you’re doing ok and being kind to yourself. Big hugs xxx
Thank you lovely. I’m doing ok, lucky to have got away without surgery so trying to four on the positives. Thanks again. X
Thanks Lucy, it was very hard at the time but amazing how quick time goes. They thought I was having an ectopic pregnancy one time, but luckily not, so I can’t imagine how hard that would be. Good luck with trying again and fingers cross two is the luckily number. xx
I came off the pill in September and was pregnant in November. We didnt expect it to be that quick but we were very fortunate and I have friends that have taken several years. Who knows if we will be so fortunate next time- the trying was fun but I can imagine that after a while the fun will be taken out of it!
The trying is definitely fun to start with! I will admit my husband actually did get fed up near the end!!! Never thought he would say that!! x
On holiday in May 2010 we had the ‘shall we’ conversation and decided to just stop trying not to get pregnant and see what happens from there, cool and casual, no stress or pressure, how difficult can it be? Fast forward 18 months and nothing, queue a whole round of tests, some quite invasive and a dash to the clinic with a fresh pot of sperm (TMI?it only has a 45 min window!) and all results come back positive, there are no medical reasons why we’re not conceiving. Out come the ovulation tests and the monthly tears until September 2013 when I miss my period and we get a very positive pregnancy test result.Yay!. Sadly in December 2013 I miscarried and had to experience the horror of a medically managed miscarriage where you are basically induced into labour, but that is a whole other story. A few months later I was ready to start trying again, everyone said it would happen quickly because of hormones from the previous pregnancy. It didn’t. Move on to April 2015, a new round of tests and another quick dash and again being told there were no medical reasons, I was ovulating so Clomid was out, our only option now was IVF. We went home discussed it, decided against it had a few glasses of wine and well our beautiful daughter joined us in the early hours of January 12 2016. Nearly 5 years, one heartbreaking experience, lots of well meaning advice and a whole stack of peed on sticks I can’t believe she’s here. But she is.
Jo, this is the best story ever. Love that you have had a happy ending. Huge congratulations xxx
??? Jo. So many congratulations. The sperm dash story made me laugh, my husband still can’t talk about his experience ?
So pleased for your happy ending ?
After deciding last month that we would start trying I’m now around 5 weeks pregnant. The one over riding thought going round my head at the moment is “It can’t be this easy”. It’s all a bit overwhelming but I’m trying to just think about it week by week.
Eeek, exciting! Congratulations xxx
I felt a bit like that, too Claire! After hearing so many stories from friends and relatives, we conceived pretty much straight away after coming off the pill. In some weird way, I also kept thinking it can’t be this easy for us – and we really didn’t feel prepared as we had thought to ourselves that we had quite a bit of time to try.
I’m now nearly 27 weeks and I still can’t quite get my head around it sometimes (though being distinctively enormous now is quite a clear indication 🙂 ).
I think I won’t quite believe it until we get to the first scan. It’s strange as I thought I would be excited but the overwhelming feeling I’ve had is worry, and I’m sure that’s something that won’t go away any time soon. I keep telling myself that the vast majority of pregnancies are successful and need to think positively about this.
I completely understand, I’ve felt like that all the way through – it hasn’t been a very easy pregnancy anyway and we had a bit of a scare last weekend but I’m slowly now getting my head around that we will end up with a little human in a few weeks!
I think part of me just didn’t want to get too excited as it just felt to good to be true (stupid really).
Congratulations! The same thing happened to us. We feel pregnant two weeks after deciding to stop not trying and I too just kept thinking, it can’t be this easy. But luckily for us it was, and we now have a two year old boy. We thank our lucky stars and by no way take it for granted 🙂
Wow that was quick. Congratulations! I’ve just taken my last pill as we’ve made the decision to try now. No idea how my periods will go, I’ve been on the pill for 11/12 years! Any one who wishes to share their experience of coming off the pill, please do 🙂
The first time around we TTC in 2011 it was a bit traumatic. Over the course of 9 months we had two natural miscarriages and a missed miscarriage which required a manual extraction. We were referred for lots of further testing and nothing came back, but we were young and told it was ‘unusual’ at our age. When I got pregnant again, we had a lot of scans throughout the first trimester and I was under consultant care throughout – which was probably no bad thing as I ended up with preeclampsia as well. I was induced at 38 weeks and we decided that was it for a while as the whole process had been quite stressful!
This time around it was world’s apart from our last experience. I had my coil out in June 2015, got a positive test in August, and our second daughter arrived last Sunday with no medical interventions whatsoever. Low risk pregnancy, low risk birth, it was just easy. But I think that if you’ve had things go wrong for you before, you just expect them. I spent my whole pregnancy worried that it was *too* easy and something horrible was going to happen. That’s the legacy that fertility problems leave you with, unfortunately.
Thank you for sharing Sara. So lovely to hear your happy ending to your story. Hugs to you and your newly expanded family xx
My husband and I have been trying for our first (don’t judge me for being on here already…!) since late last year and haven’t had any luck yet. I know it hasn’t been that long in reality but I am finding it quite stressful as I’m a natural worrier, especially about anything health related. I have actually had some tests already because when I came off my pill a few years ago I didn’t have a period for about a year and a half and now they can be irregular and change from month to month. Although my scan came back normal (although very, very mildly Polycystic) a hormone test came back showing that my estrogen and progesterone jumps all over the place at the wrong times throughout the month…completely bizarre.
It’s been recommended that I go on clomid (even though I am ovulating it’s very late in cycle and then I have a short luteal phase) but we have decided to give it another few months of trying naturally so we can enjoy our summer holiday.
Has anyone had any experiences/success on clomid? I’m the first one of my group of friends to try so don’t really have anyone to talk to about it!
Who knew there was so much science to it all, hey?!!??! X
My first daughter is a clomid baby, El. I had pretty positive experiences with it in terms of side effects and obviously the baby too! Happy to answer any questions or chat if you want ? Are you doing/taking anything to help lengthen your LP at the moment? I have some experience of that too… You’re not alone, I promise! Sometimes I think it might actually be the lovely-perfectly-timed-happy-accident babies that are the ‘miracle’ ones, when you think about how many of us need a bit of a hand to get going!
Thanks so much for your kind reply! I had been trying things like agnus castus, vitamin B6 etc when I realised it was short, but didn’t seem to have an effect unfortunately. This month the doc has put me on progesterone pessaries which I start taking four days after an LH surge…problem is that I don’t trust my hormones now so I’m a bit worried I started taking them too early (I did a Clearblue Dual Hormone test thing a couple of days after my LH surge and had an estrogen surge and still some of the more physical signs of ovulation, which I’m not sure you are supposed to get after you have ovulated just before!). If you do have any advice that would be amazing!
How many cycles did you do of clomid and what were your side effects? Did you have any problems with multiple eggs maturing?
Thanks again for your reply x
El, I’ve just finished my 3rd round of Clomid and have the dreaded 2 week wait now to see if it’s been a success this month. My husband and I have been trying for 2 years and had a miscarriage last year so we’re really hoping to fall pregnant before the inevitable – IVF. I’ve found clomid pretty easy going, I’ve had amazing care and support from my consultant and his team and I just know they will do everything it takes to help us which has been a huge relief in what’s been quite a stressful and upsetting time.
It’s the hardest thing in the world when the one thing you want the most is the one thing you can’t have, yet everyone else seems to have it. I don’t think anyone truly understands how hard and lonely it is to go through fertility struggles.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you xx
Hi Leanne,
Thanks so much for your reply 🙂 I completely agree that it can be difficult (and I have only experienced 5/6 months of it, which I know isn’t that long).. and it’s upsetting when you get results that show things are out of balance or not working as they should. I know it’s difficult for husbands too, but I don’t think they understand what those two weeks of waiting is like so I it can make it even more lonely.
I’m glad to hear that you have found clomid easy enough – I should probably stop reading the horror stories…google is a nightmare!!!
Really hope that you have positive news at the end of this two weeks xx
We conceived Arianne on our 5th go, but had miscarriages with the 1st, 3rd and 4th which were ‘just bad luck’ apparently, nothing to do with the clomid. Multiple eggs matured in the 2nd and 3rd cycles, we were gently advised to not try those months but didn’t listen which obviously I don’t recommend but the thought of missing those chances was just awful.
Re. side effects I was so lucky. I took the pills at night and I think this meant I slept through most of the physical effects, and hormonally I really didn’t notice much of a difference. I was ‘only’ on 50mg though so maybe that’s a consideration…?
Have you read anything about false gear-ups to ovulation? My body definitely does this, I get all the signs and a positive test and then 4-8 days later it all happens again and that’s the actual ovulation… I think it’s fairly common? It might be worth asking for 2 lots of day 21 bloods if you feel like your body might be gearing up to ovulate but not quite getting there the first time.
Have everything very firmly crossed for you! X
Yup I def get fake LH surges, but not usually with the other signs of ovulation. I only usually get that once a month! Such..a….mindfield…!
Thanks so much for the reassurance, it means a lot! I will keep you posted! x
No judging here at all. We love that you are sharing your journey with us. Lots of luck to you x
Hi El. I got pregnant second cycle of clomid (typing whilst trying to rock stubborn 4 month old to sleep in pram!!). My situation was a bit different as I wasn’t having periods or ovulating at all. Still not sure why! I didn’t find side effects bad at all altho I was on relatively low dose. I did have bad mood swings but I’m not sure whether you cld blame the clomid or just anxiety of situation. It didn’t cause any complications in pregnancy altho I was in consultant led care because of it (again a good thing as ended up with different complications) Wishing you all the best xx oh and step away from goggle.
Thanks for replying Jen, and congrats on your beautiful baby…so lovely :)! I can sympathise, I didn’t have any period at all for well over a year… I think acupuncture brought it back but hasn’t helped with conceiving unfortunately. I used to have perfect 28 day cycles before I went on the pill so although it’s totally been out of my system for a few years now I wonder if that’s the culprit!
I think they are going to put me on low dose to start with…50 I believe…but I’m just a bit worried of being over stimulated, did that happen to you at all? Did you have injections? Sorry for all the questions!
x
PS Google is a nightmare!!!!!!!
I was advised to go on Clomid after discovering I had hormone levels that were the wrong way round and some symptoms of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I decided to investigate the natural options first though and went to see Marilyn Glenville who is wonderful! She is a nutritionist who specialises in women’s health, hormones and fertility issues and she has lots of success stories. She put me on a special diet and a few supplements/vitamins with the main aim of balancing my blood sugar as apparently sugar spikes and how your body deals with sugar/insulin can completely mess up the fertility hormones. I cut out dairy, red meat and refined carbs and made a big effort to eat protein with every meal plus fertility-inducing foods (e.g. almonds). 6 months later my hormone levels were massively improved and I conceived naturally after 8 months on only the second month we actively tried (using ovulation tests). So I didn’t need the Clomid and conceived naturally. We now have a lovely, happy 9 week old son 🙂
Hi Jen,
Oh wow – congratulations, that’s such a lovely story!
Thanks so much for the recommendation – I will check her website out. Sounds like you have a similar thing to what I have; mild Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and then from the hormone test it looked like it took ages for my estrogen to rise and I had one strange peak of progesterone before my estrogen peaked (whhhhatt!). The lady who I did them with had no explanation so maybe I should see someone else
Congratulations again x
I know it can take some time, but when it doesn’t happen straightaway there is that little something inside of you saying “what if something is wrong, what if I can’t get pregnant, what if we need IVF, what if we can’t afford it etc. etc.”
It doesn’t sound like it LOL I am trying to ignore those little voices and just relax, not get stressed but it is hard. I came off the pill in September, and then started trying on Valentines Day this year – but so far my period has continued to rock up each month 🙁 It’s disappointing I guess but trying to remember it’s still early days!!
Sarah, it will happen. Keep positive, although I know how hard that can be. I used to dread each month. Have you tried an ovulation kit? I didn’t want to but it worked first time for me and I wished I’d done it sooner x
El – I have tried clomid and it did help with my luteal phase but it also turned me into an emotional loon during second half of cycle and know a lot of peeps have found similar.
We are also still trying – 18 months and two miscarriages later. Everything is “normal” and I recently had a laparoscopy for a good clear out. We’re going to try immune treatment as I had allergic reactions during last pregnancy and then if that doesn’t work, next step will be ivf which I’m apprehensive about but I have a fantastic consultant so feel like we’re in good hands at least. I feel like a walking encyclopedia of infertility issues….
Hi Em,
Thanks for your replies and sorry to hear about your miscarriages, I can only imagine how tough that must be to go through.
I’ve heard clomid does that which is what makes me a bit nervous about going on it…as if those two weeks aren’t anxious enough! I’m seeing a great doctor and also a lovely acupuncturist too so feel like I’m in good hands.
Hope you have some good news in the next few months X
Sending you lots of love and hugs Em xxx
I know that we were very lucky in that its been the first month of trying for all 3 of our babies – I did, however, also use an ovulation stick for my first conception and discovered very quickly that I don’t ovulate slap bang in the middle of the month (despite having a text book 28 day cycle), instead I ovulate a couple of days later (day 17, TMI?!). I’d highly recommend the ovulation kit in that respect – my husband was exhausted after ‘trying’ every other day for the first 2 weeks he was all ready to have a rest after day 15, but he wasn’t allowed until a couple days later 😉
Good luck to all those trying – I have also had friends who did have great success with clomid, some who had years of IVF then successfully conceived gorgeous twins (then successfully naturally conceived a few months after the twins arrived, caught totally unawares!).
Ha ha, this made me chuckle Nicola. My friend who’s an obese consultant told me you need to have sex every 48 hours minimum. I thought Edd would enjoy that. Not so much after months had gone by!!! I too reckon the ovulation kit is great and no idea why I didn’t do it sooner. xx
It took us almost 3 1/2 years to conceive. We stopped not trying when we got married in May 2012 and our son is due May 2016. We didn’t opt for any medical intervention during those years, there were a number of reasons for this, one being my age plus we didn’t want to become obsessed with having a child at the detriment to our relationship. It was tough and I sort of went through a grieving process shortly before I fell pregnant and began to accept that I would not experience pregnancy and we would not have a child but that we could still be a family as a couple, just as we were. I am 40 this year (so my age was not in my favour) and we began to plan an action packed 40th year to celebrate what we had rather than focus on what we didn’t have. I entered a marathon, we were going to 2 festivals plus an extended holiday to Oz. However, life has a funny way of working sometimes on on my 39th birthday last September I found out I was pregnant. I had missed my period, something I had longed for for over 3 years, but as I had never been pregnant before I just didn’t think it could be a pregnancy so I didn’t take the test for probably 10 days after my period was due!
Congratulations Sophie, such a wonderful surprise to receive on your birthday! I’ve often heard stories that once people accept their situation or make amends with it then they often go on to conceive naturally, my aunt and uncle for example had struggled to conceive for over 6 years and were going down the adoption route, then as soon as they found out that they were first in line for the next baby up for adoption they conceived naturally. It sounds as though you had the most amazing year lined up and were probably relaxed and happy, no doubt this helped.
Thanks Helen. I think you are right – I was in a very positive frame of mind plus I was the physically fittest I had been in my life which I think must have helped x
Oh Sophie, this is just the loveliest story. Amazing news and huge congratulations to you both. Best 40th birthday year ever! x
We had been trying for about 6 months for our first. Had a few late periods but tests always negative. Then, hubby came back after being away for a week the day before I should be ovulating and a few weeks later got that lovely positive test. May have just been coincidence but wondered if his built up supply, tmi, or enjoying each other (as apposed to thinking about ‘trying for baby’) had any influence. Have lovely baby now anyway ?
He he! We love all the information here! You never know what the reason is but at least little baby arrived and that’s all that matters x
We decided to start trying after New Year. I came off the pill in September but (a bit naively) I hadn’t been tracking the length of my cycles etc. Much to our delight and surprise we got lucky first time and thankfully I knew the date of the first day of my last period to work out weeks etc. I was bleeding in the beginning and so we organised a scan, according to my dates I should’ve been 6-7 weeks at that stage and so there should’ve been a definite heartbeat, but there wasn’t and the baby was measuring 5 weeks. Que lots of googling and worrying! The doctors said it was probably 50/50, that it may have been a missed early miscarriage or my dates were out. We went back a week later for another scan and thankfully there was a very definite heartbeat and baby was measuring 6 weeks. I am now 17 weeks pregnant, and the scans have been consistently a week behind my dates according to last period so it turns out I must have had a much longer cycle than I thought :/ which would explain the two negative test results we got initially lol.
Congratulations Helen, amazing news. I honestly wouldn’t have had a clue about my cycle before we started trying. x
I am so glad you are talking about this. Trying to get pregnant was one of the darkest times of my life. My husband and I decided to just be casual from the time we go married in August 2013, by the summer of 2015 we still had had nothing and the fear set in. We went to the doctors and had tests and there seemed nothing obvious. The doctors recommended us for ivf and because of the ridiculous postal lottery we were told we could have 3 rounds on the NHS. So in November last year we embarked on our first course. Sadly it ending up failing after a positive initial test result. We went through Christmas in a blur our hearts broken. But then a miracle happened and it seems that we were given an extra special Christmas present. Yesterday we had our 20 week scan and I now am one of the lucky ones who is walking around in a daze of happiness, something that in November I honestly thought I would never experience. It is such a lonely, scary time when you are trying to get pregnant and you watch the months pass with no success. I still have not told even some of my closest friends what we went through and I really think that areas like this should look at all sides of family whether you are in the planning stages or knee deep in nappies. I was desperate for an outlet during those dark days and I hope women reading these stories see they are not alone and to hang on in there.
This is the loveliest sorry Jess. Over the moon for you and your amazing news. I completely agree on the loneliness and mine was nothing like yours. Everyone has their own struggles and I love that this little community can share them and encourage and inspire others. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xxx
Huge huge love to everyone reading and commenting today. I hope everyone gets what they’re hoping for xxx
Another ‘success’ story to hopefully encourage anyone who needs it – I had PCOS without the cysts and any of the other typical symptoms, I just didn’t have periods. 4 years of hopeful sex, investigations and tests, 3 miscarriages and 5 rounds of Clomid later, we had Arianne and I honestly felt like our family was complete. We’d decided not to drag ourselves down the assisted conception route again, and just live a fabulous, adventurous life with our little girl. Never, ever did it cross our minds that we’d conceive naturally. And yet, 9 months later without even having had a postpartum period and still frequently breastfeeding, I fell pregnant with Effie. It was like the sky had fallen down. Not in a bad way, in a total mothereffing shock way! We were more careful after Effie was born, but stupidly not 100% careful – we felt like lightning couldn’t possibly strike twice?! 7 months later, that familiar feeling of wanting to die everytime I brushed my teeth and hey presto, the twins had magicked themselves into being. Wtf, ovaries. It’s like they were on sabbatical and then came back all WOOHOO LET’S DO THIS!!!
Lorcan and Ophelia are 9m old now, Arianne was two months shy of her third birthday when they arrived. It’s been insane. It blows my mind that this is where we are in our story and I try every day to consciously remember how lucky we are.
This is the most AMAZING story ever! You are a supermom in every sense of the word (and your ovaries get a big high five too!!) xx
Really interesting to read Jo’s story – ours nearly matches. 2010 we started trying. Fast forward many months to lots of tests, clomid, IVF cycles and a termination of pregnancy for medical reasons (this wasn’t an optional thing), we finally conceived naturally and our baby was born in early 2015. We’ve just started trying for number 2 and I’m excited but I’m also scared about having to go through everything we went through before again……
This is such a great post – I too thought I would fall into the category of falling pregnant straight away but sadly it took us 16 months to conceive. We tried absolutely everything from temping to acupuncture and had all the medical tests in between which all came back saying that we were perfectly healthy and just had to keep trying. This was easy said then done. We decided to start the ball rolling with a referral for IVF and in the meantime were put on Clomid. It was on our 3rd cycle of Clomid and ironically the week of our first IVF appointment that we found out were pregnant and I and now 15 weeks. In hindsight I wish I had taken a more relaxed approached to it all and just let nature take its cause – unfortunately though I am impatient!
Congratulations PJ! Exciting news after everything you have been through. Unfortunately it is hard not to be impatient xx
Such a hard subject because it varies so much.
I am currently 11 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby but my baby journey has been a bit of a roller coaster.
I was told a month before I got married I would need IVF to have a baby as I had low oestrogen, low egg reserve and hasn’t had a period since I came off the pill 5yrs previous. I was devastated!! Hmmm I got pregnant on my honeymoon – this was a wonderful shock we hadn’t used protection for years and yet it was if my body just decided the time was right. My son was delivered by emergency c section under general but everything was great afterwards. Fast forward a year later and a wonderful private consultant helping me and I had an ectopic pregnancy after using clomid. I was lucky it was managed without surgery and I got pregnant again 6 months later on clomid ( I was told at scan point I wouldn’t conceive this month as lining too thin go figure) that pregnancy was great another c section as breech and my daughter arrived. Again a year later I went to my wonderful consultant and he started me on letrazole so as not to thin my lining. Except we both missed I was actually already pregnant … Another ectopic ( the other side to previous ectopic) I was scanned a couple of times and saw nothing to suggest I was and I had absolutely no symptoms. Fast forward 4 weeks and it ruptured it was an awful experience and I lost my left tube and during surgery they damaged and killed my right ovary. It nearly killed me yet I was determined to have another baby – some may say totally stupid and ungrateful but when you want a baby it’s so hard to turn that desire off. It drives you mad. Anyway I recovered and went to a private IVF clinic, had all tests did all my appointments they said it wouldn’t happen naturally and they didn’t want to try letrazole or clomid due to my previous ectopics and so decided to go for it. Went for my teaching appointment they scanned me and I was 5 weeks pregnant! left ovary right tube miracle baby.
It seems I need to be told I’m not going to conceive to conceive.
I’ve had a couple of scans so far this pregnancy and all ok and in the right place. I have my fingers crossed all is ok at next weeks scan.
Oh and I might call it a day after this …. We will see!! ?
Blimey Kas, what a journey but a fabulously amazing one at that. Thank you so much for sharing and wishing you every bit of luck in this pregnancy xx
What an incredible story, you are so brave! I read that our Fallopian tubes are free to move and can reconnect if they need to when an ovary is lost, like I guess yours did. Our bodies are amazing things xx
To the lady asking about clomid – our twins are clomid babies, conceived on our 3rd cycle. It was a 50mg dose. I had no side effects on clomid but obviously it did cause me to ovulate twice. Our girls were born on valentines day 2014 at 38wks exactly weighing 5lb6 and 5lb8 and now they are happy, healthy toddlers. Good luck with ttc and everything crossed the clomid is successful for you xxx
This is such an interesting read for me and my partner and I are currently having the debate on when to begin trying – my head says wait, save a little, have another holiday just the two of you, really stupid things like wait and avoid a summer baby (I was born at the end of December and was always jealous of my friends with parties in the sun, so what’s that thought about?!) – but my heart says just see what happens. I’ve been on the pill for years and years and so many of my friends have got pregnant almost before they began trying and made it look so easy that I’ve nearly convinced myself that I must be the one who will struggle. (I’m a statistician so can’t make myself ignore the numbers!) I also have an added complication of a blood disorder (factor V leiden) that makes your blood more likely to clot, which, in pregnancies, raises the risk of miscarriage. I’m aware that it could take us a while and I’m so eager to see my partner be a dad (and be a mum myself). Very difficult to balance these feelings at the moment, so it’s so lovely to see so many happy endings to remind me that it’s never perfect timing and it could be quick or slow but the family is always always worth it x
Thank you for your lovely words Katie. Whatever you decide will be right for you and forget those statistics (however hard it may be!). xxx ps. May totally be stealing your idea for a post on summer vs winter babies (I have one of each!!) xx
Katie, I just read this and it reflects my thoughts so much that I could have written it myself!
I’m in exactly the same boat. I am waiting for our house sale to complete before I come off the pill, and I’m also conscious that my private health insurance has a 12 month waiting period which isn’t over til the end of this year (I’m in Australia, and everyone says you need private!).
I have so many friends who have conceived by accident – some while they were on the pill/had endometriosis/etc, others who just came off the pill and BOOM were pregnant straight away. But I have at least 5 other friends, that I know of, who have had heartbreaking fertility issues. At least one couple, who deserve to be parents more than anyone I know, have given up (and no, no miracle baby now they’ve finally stopped trying). My husband and I are absolutely paranoid that we will be in the latter camp, despite absolutely no indications that anything would be wrong – we are both healthy, reasonably fit, and I’ve always had a regular cycle when I’ve come off the pill previously.
Like you, I have a family history of DVT/blood clotting so your comments about that increasing the risk of miscarriage worries me. I’m a very thorough person who likes to fully research everything, but I’m also a worrier, and the two do not sit happily together! Because I know anecdotally that as soon as I start worrying about whether I might have problems conceiving, surely that’s the point that I’ll create problems for myself?
One of my friends has decided to start trying, and has been conditioning her body for 6 months already! She’s been taking vitamins and cutting down her drinking, and doing all sorts to optimise her body before she and her husband start trying properly with ovulation kits and things. I haven’t got anywhere close to that level of planning or looking after myself, which makes me wonder if I’m just not doing it right?!
Anyway, I think it is time to just chill out a bit. Maybe we will have problems, but we will have to cross that bridge if we come to it. No use worrying about things that may never happen, and all that. Once out house sale goes through and our financial worries are alleviated, I will come off the pill, start tracking my cycles, and just go with the flow for 6 months or so before we start properly ‘trying’.
Good luck with everything. I reckon when it happens, it’ll be the right time. If you’re in a loving relationship and healthy, there can’t be a bad time.
So good to hear so many stories, each one different. I had my coil out the beginning of October and we were careful for a month or two so i could have a ‘normal’ cycle. We got pregnant in the February and much quicker than I expected having suffered with minor gynae problems over the years.
Thanks so much everyone for sharing your story xxx
Some lovely, wonderful, hope filled stories here. It really is true that having a baby can be hard for more people than you think when you are trying yourself. Often feeling like the only person in the world to be going through it.
My story is sorta similar to some of yours.
Myself and my X husband decided to try from our wedding night, I had previously had the coil for years and when having it taken out 4 months before the wedding the nurse commented that she was surprised I hadn’t fell pregnant as it was practically an ineffective coil. At that point I knew, just knew I would have trouble getting pregnant. Fast Forward 3.5 years of trying, diets, reflexology, Clomid for 12 months, scans weekly, injections and finally our 1 free go at IVF and nothing. I became so depressed & pressured at one point I thought about ending it as I felt I was letting the husband down, looking back he WAS pressuring me a lot. For my own mental health, I had to become at peace with the fact I couldn’t have a child and that I was letting my husband down. We divorced soon after.
Now 3 years later with a fab career which I LOVE, engaged to the man of my dreams & happier than I have ever been with life and the fact I wont ever be a mother and at the heaviest I have ever been …..I discover I am pregnant!! Words fail me. But god I feel blessed and all I keep saying is that it cant of been meant to be with my ex, sadly. But it goes to show that life throws you some weird scenarios to deal with!
Such an inspiration Elle, it’s so hard when trying to conceive and feeling the pressure. It took me and my husband 3.5 years, 2 X laparoscopy (they missed a polip in my ovary the first time) and four rounds of IUI treatment. And now 4 years later we have the most wonderful baby girl. Sadly our treatment took its toll, due to stress she was born 5 weeks early, I had 17 days in hospital while she was in intensive care and when our baby was 6 weeks old I discovered my husband had been having an affair. Devastated doesn’t cover it, but I have the most precious, healthy and gorgeous baby. Your story gives me hope to find happiness after losing love, thanks for sharing and huge congratulations on your pregnancy.
Oh Jane, sending you the biggest hugs. You are an incredibly strong and inspirational person and your little girl is lucky to have you as her mummy. Give her a big tight squeeze and her little smile will let you know that everything will be ok. xxx
Hey Jane, so pleased you have your little girl! Congratulations. I am sorry about your ex husband. The bit I missed out was the fact that after I told him I couldn’t do another IVF is that he told me he had had a one night stand and SHE had fallen pregnant. Just like that. Made me feel even more of a failure. I don’t tell many people that — for months I for some reason wanted to protect him from the amount of abuse he would of surely got from my parents. friends etc. But the way I saw it was, I couldn’t give him what he really wanted so why make him stay with me? That didn’t feel fair to him.
Anyhow when I met my Fiancé he had 3 gorgeous children already and I was super happy with that. You will find love again. I was 110% sure I wouldn’t and it kinda found me. Much love xx
Elle, that is AMAZING news! It was definitely meant to be and you are all the stronger for what you have been though. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the arrival of your little one to complete your fabulous new life xxx
We tried for 10 months before I got pregnant, which in hindsight is not very long but each unsuccessful month feels like an age when you’re trying doesn’t it! For me, I think it was a combination of getting my existing medication at the right level after coming off the pill (I have an underactive thyroid and had mixed information on whether the this would impact my ability to conceive but as soon as the medication was at the right level it happened) and also going on holiday and relaxing about the whole thing for once! Our little boy is now 4 months! Xx
Such a lovely story. Holidays are great for relaxing and taking your mind off things. Completely agree that every month feels an age though. It just seemed so long at the time. xxx
It took us 16 months from just not being careful and seeing what happens to obsessive vitamin taking and ovulation kits. Where I live, there is no medical intervention until you’ve been trying for 18 months. 16 months at the time felt like a lifetime but now I’m a mummy seems almost insignificant. Although thinking about when to try for baby number 2 is hard as who knows when that will be. One cannot always plan these things! You forget actually that it is NORMAL for it to take a year at least and those lucky ones who get pregnant sooner are indeed that – lucky. We’re not machines and mother nature will take its course or not, and if not, then our wonderful NHS do their upmost. Good luck ladies.
Wise words and so true. You definitely get caught up in it all but I’m with you on the ‘lucky’ ones thought xxx
Before deciding to try for a baby, I had had an implant for about 7 years. I didn’t realise, perhaps naively that my periods wouldn’t immediately return, and I had to wait a few months for this to happen before we could begin properly trying. I thought might be worth highlighting as it wasn’t something I had considered in advance.
Thanks so much for sharing, definitely something I didn’t know about xx
I had suffered some gynae problems and was told I’d probably struggle to conceive, I missed the pill for 2 weeks whilst poorly and got pregnant – it was such a shock because I thought it would be really hard and I wasn’t even trying! I literally couldn’t believe my luck. Thankfully all went well and I’m now expecting number 2 after 3 months of trying, so again very lucky. I’d told myself I wouldn’t be one of those obsessive women when trying haha but after month 1 I was already googling like mad and looking at ovulation kits… I didn’t use one in the end but I’ve heard good things about them from friends, I think many women ovulate at a different time than they think and can be missing the fertile window quite easily. Wishing everyone who is trying lots of luck xx
Whoop, congratulations on number 2. Exciting times xx
It’s really nice to hear everyone’s experiences. I’m just about to start trying again after having a miscarriage earlier this year at 8 weeks. We’d been trying for 9 months (I was SO in the ‘it will happen straight away camp’ after turning 30 and deciding it was the right time after having spent my whole 20s trying NOT to get pregnant!) and that seemed like an absolute age each month we weren’t successful. I’m really hopeful that it will happen for us more quickly this time, but trying hard to stay calm and positive and avoid excessive googling!
Please do stay calm Becky. Having been the frantic googler myself I know it doesn’t help at all. It just stressed me out more and we all know stress isn’t good. Easier said than done I know but wishing you all the luck in the world xxx
It took us just over a year to conceive our daughter. I had a few tests and my prolactin levels were much higher than normal which was stopping ovulation. Plus my periods were non existent. Whilst waiting for treatment I bought a bunch of cheapie ovulation kits off eBay and tested everyday. We got pregnant the first month after doing that and our girl was born July 2013. My second baby was a surprise, we weren’t planning another anytime soon but weren’t really preventing either. He was due on his sister’s 2nd birthday! It was nice second time around not having to go through the heartache of BFNs every month.
Finally someone talking about the taboo of infertility and miscarriage for that matter!
It took me and dh 18months to conceive our son naturally. We have currently been trying for number 2 since November 2014, I did fall pregnant is December but sadly that ended in a miscarriage at 7weeks after seeing a healthy bean with a heartbeat days before. So we are on cycle 5 currently desperate for that positive test. We have had basic tests but our GP refuses to refer us until a year after loss, so December.
I use ovulation kits every month and know my cycle well, I have gone through loads of fad foods kiwi, pineapple etc. Though I refuse to eat brazil nuts. I joined the gym a month ago in hope it will ease my anxiety and we booked a holiday for June. I know it will happen just when is the question!
My husband and I decided to have a fertility check last September because we were thinking about delaying starting a family for a couple of years in order to move abroad. The tests showed that I had a low egg reserve (I’m only 30) and I was advised to start trying immediately or freeze my eggs. I lot of tearful Googling later (the most common articles about low egg reserves talk about the low success rates of IVF), I decided to see a private consultant and was advised to start on Clomid. I never got to take it as I fell pregnant that month. To say it was a shock was an understatement!
It just shows that there is so little known about low egg reserves and women are being unnecessarily panicked into believing that they will not conceive naturally when they may have no issues at all. I’m now 31 weeks pregnant and can’t wait to meet our baby soon. Sending so much love to everyone trying to grow their families
Hi I have a huge favor to ask. Does anyone know if I can pass a pregnancy test if I had sex on Sunday and 4 days later on wensday night I tested positive. The big thing is that I cheated on my fiance and I wanna know that it is his. The other kicker is that it was 2 days before my period that I had sex and I missed my period and two days after tested positive. In that specific situation being so close to my period like that is it possible. Please help we are very distraught.