Over the last year we have been honoured to share the personal stories of many of our readers. Some are happy, joyful ones and others are heartbreakingly sad. Today one of our readers, Lucy, is sharing her experience of Ectopic pregnancy with you and how the pregnancy she had hoped for wasn’t to be.
Two little lines on two little tests- I leapt out of the bathroom and woke up my husband- “we’re having another one!” How would we cope with 2 under 2? We were both thrilled, and spent the next couple of days thinking about names, and the journey we were just beginning. We had no idea the journey would be over in a matter of weeks.
The first sign something was wrong came, typically, on an otherwise perfect day only a short time later. We were in the west of Ireland where I had a short work placement, so we spent a Saturday trekking out to the Father Ted House with a trip to a play farm for our toddler. Then I noticed blood when I went to the toilet. I read the entire internet literature on how bleeding is normal for some women in early pregnancy. I hadn’t had it in my first pregnancy, but surely everything would be ok?
The bleeding got heavier, then lighter, then stopped. I took another test- it was still positive. So, when the bleeding started again, I thought this must be the new normal. This time it was accompanied by cramps. I struggled through the last week of the work placement – there were only a couple of days to go and I’d see my own GP. The bleeding stopped the day we flew, then started once again a day later- so heavy I felt there was no hope. It was accompanied by a nasty ache on one side of my tummy, which made my GP prick up his ears. He dispatched me to Emergency Gynaecology. The words “ectopic pregnancy” were mentioned, but I didn’t have the symptoms google told me about- certainly no shoulder pain, and the cramps weren’t that bad?
Emergency Gynaecology is not a happy place. As my toddler played with the toy box I could see other women watching her with pain in their eyes. I felt terrible, and greedy, for wanting another child when others were desperate to have just one. Having blood tests was a relief, even with a squirming little one on my lap. Then came the scan- any vaginal ultrasound is not fun, but it’s even less fun when they can’t find anything. My womb was empty. Completely. I felt stupid, and gutted. Then came the words “we can’t see your left ovary and tube, they are surrounded by blood. Is that side where the pain is?” Yes, it was that side. An ectopic was confirmed. The little fertilised egg had decided to try and develop in my fallopian tube, instead of my womb, causing bleeding inside me. At this point things started to happen very quickly: we were whisked to a private room, and a doctor came, poked my stomach painfully and briskly told me to “sort out some childcare, fast.” She was pushing for me to be admitted, and have an operation to have the tube removed- if it ruptured, I was in serious trouble. All I could think of was that I had lost the baby I hoped for, and now they wanted to take my still breastfeeding-to-sleep 13 month old away. My husband arrived, and my composure broke. In between the floods of tears, my daughter took her first steps. Impeccable timing.
A senior consultant arrived, bringing my blood test results. My levels of pregnancy hormone were low, he said. It seemed as though my body had recognised what had happened and already miscarried. If I wanted, I could go home instead of having the op as in his opinion the crisis was over. I could have kissed him. My mum arrived that evening to help out, as the bleeding intensified, and so did the pain. I considered going back to the hospital, but when I called they reminded me to take both paracetamol and ibuprofen, not just one. This had the desired effect, and I was able to cry myself to sleep. The bleeding took about another 10 days to stop, and the pain went after about a week. It took another three for my hormone levels to go back to non-pregnant “normal.” Both my husband and I were deeply disappointed and saddened, but I felt fortunate in some ways- to have escaped the operation, to have “got away with it.” I threw myself into exercise, and having fun with my daughter. It wasn’t until I fell pregnant again that I realised the full toll of the experience- every time I wipe I expect to see blood, every scan we have I expect them to find nothing there, or a serious problem. I don’t think I will ever be so blithely optimistic in pregnancy ever again. That week of positive tests and Father Ted jokes seems like it happened to another person.
If you are having bleeding and pain but still have a positive pregnancy test, please see your GP and ask for a referral- I was one of the “lucky” ones, but ectopic pregnancy is dangerous, and serious. Don’t discount your symptoms as nothing.
Another powerful story, thank you Lucy for sharing.
My friend, ten years ago, was tragically one of the unlucky ones. She was overseas when her ectopic pregnancy took her life; so your words really resonate with me. Thank you for helping to raise awareness amongst the RMF community.
Wishing you and your family lots of love and happiness ❤❤xx
Thank you so much for your response Karen and I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. I really wish there was more awareness as its so dangerous. Xxx
Thanks for sharing your story Lucy. I’ve been so lucky so far it’s easy forget how many hurdles other people have to overcome and raising awareness is so important especially as it can have such tragic consequences. I didn’t even know it was possible to avoid the operation and I like to think I’m fairly clued up. I’m glad it worked out for you without added stress as losing a baby is enough on its own. Hope your rainbow baby brings you all much joy xx
Thank you Kat. I didn’t know you could avoid surgery either- had no idea about the condition at all really. Xxx
Oh Lucy, sending big hugs. I’d heard the term before, but hadn’t really understood what it meant – I guess I’m lucky that no-one I know has experienced this 🙁
So glad that you got to go home with your first baby and be with your family. And obviously I’m thrilled that your current pregnancy is going ok.
xxx
Thanks Fern- I was surprised that a couple of friends confided they had experienced this too- it’s not all that uncommon sadly.
Even when she’s being a pickle my girl is the best medicine ? xxx
Lucy your story brought tears to my eyes. Sending you lots of love x
Thank you ???
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Lucy and so pleased to hear everything is going well with your pregnancy. Having had the Doctors tell me they thought I was having an Ectopic pregnancy when I had an early miscarriage I know how scary it is and I was very lucky that I wasn’t and it was just taking some time to get my hormones back to normal. It is so important to be aware of the symptoms so thank you again xx
Thanks Lottie- 23 weeks this week, over halfway.
I’m glad your medical team were on the ball- and so sorry you experienced miscarriage xx
My thoughts are with you and I hope with time you can enjoy this pregnancy.
I have had 2 ectopics – one in each tube – both had surgery but the first one I didn’t loose a tube, the second I didn’t know I was pregnant and left the pain (thought I was ovulating) till it ruptured and I know I was one of the lucky ones, I lost a huge amount of blood and was very poorly.
On a positive note I have also had 3 normal pregnancies – my third baby a little girl was born 10 days ago, I conceived just 4 months after my 2nd ectopic and I am so so grateful for her, she is my miracle baby as the egg came from my tubeless side. She is so wanted and carrying her in a healthy pregnancy has helped heal some of the hurt from my body not doing it’s job properly before.
I’m proof you can get pregnant after ectopic and I count my blessings everyday that I have my 3 beautiful babies. X
Karena thank you so much and massive congratulations on your little girl. I read that your tubes can move to link up with the other ovary if that makes sense? It must have been very frightening, especially your second experience. I’m so glad you and your family have your new daughter safely here xxx
Thanks for sharing your story Lucy. I think it’s really important that people are aware of the symptoms of ectopic pregnancy. As a result of not knowing the symptoms I ended up in hospital after passing out in the bathroom and losing my vision. I had surgery to have my tube removed but know that it could have been a lot worse if the A&E staff hadn’t thought to get me to do a pregnancy test. I didn’t know I was pregnant. I just thought my period was a little irregular. Luckily I now have a beautiful 6 month old boy but I still remember the fear I had throughout my pregnancy of everything going wrong. I wish you all the luck in the world Lucy that everything goes well for the rest of your pregnancy.
So sorry to hear about your experience Lucy. I found it almost uncanny reading though as I had a very similar experience this year. I also got pregnant when my first daughter was 12 months old and after some bleeding and pain was diagnosed with an ectopic. It’s such a sad and frightening experience and so difficult being admitted when you have a small person waiting for you at home. I had surgery but was v lucky and recovered quickly. Am now 24 weeks pregnant (hurrah!) and agree it’s very different experience this time round. Thank you for sharing your story. I think it’s so important to talk about these things so people have an awareness but also so other women experiencing this don’t feel so alone.
Thank you, Lucy, for sharing your story and raising awareness on such an important topic of women’s health and ectopic pregnancy in general. We guess there are preventive and good practices for improving women’s health in general, homeopathy can be really helpful in a big extend. However, with pregnancy nothing can be really planned and expected to be as described in the textbooks. Each woman is different, so each pregnancy follows a different pattern, sometimes a pleasurable one, sometimes a hard one. The important thing is that we always have to hope and believe that better days are ahead.