Morning. Just a quick hello from me today as I’m handing over to India for her next pregnancy diary all about the second Trimester. You can catch up with her first two instalments here and here. Hope you enjoy it.
For me, the second trimester has seemed to fly by in some ways, and last forever in others. Thinking back to our twelve week scan just seems so long ago, and I now can’t imagine not feeling our little one moving around every day.
We have had some super cute presents for the baby, when the first one came through the post after we first announced our pregnancy, I cried. A surefire sign of how hormonal I am – my husband came into the kitchen to find me blubbing into a parcel. It was an adorable bib from Petit Bateau though, so surely I am kind of justified?! Now I have managed to get the tears in check a little but each present our littlest one receives just reminds me how lucky we are, how much love people have for our new arrival.
In terms of symptoms this trimester, my heartburn started gaining strength, so I am now that achingly cool person carrying my little packet of Tums everywhere I go and begging prescription Gaviscon from my midwife. My skin seemed to finally clear up a little at the 15 week point after being pretty angry for a few weeks, it may have been helped by the tips I read on Madeleine Shaw’s blog. My nosebleeds got worse – lots of you will already know (I had no idea!) that these are normal in pregnancy because of the increased blood volume. They’re not a big deal, I’ve just sort of accepted that they are a daily occurrence now.
This trimester also seems to have played havoc with my mood and emotions. Even though physically in many ways I feel healthier than before I was pregnant, I have found the hormonal changes quite challenging. I had one full day around the 21 week mark where I just cried for no reason, and then at 25 weeks I also had a major surge where I just wanted to be by myself and snapped at anyone who came near me. I hope I’m not the only one who has these crazy mood swings? Thankfully both of these things lasted a day each, my husband was amazingly supportive and lovely even when I was probably being pretty mean, and apart from those blips I have been feeling good both mentally and physically.
We also had a private gender scan at the seventeen week mark. I had always hoped we would arrange a scan in between our NHS 12 week and 20 week ones as it just seemed like such a long time to wait and not know if everything was a-ok in there. I always knew the eight week stretch in between would be hard, then my husband realised he wouldn’t be able to come to the 20 week NHS scan and that sealed the deal. It was lovely to see the little one on the screen, and much less medically-focused than the NHS scans which naturally are more serious. We saw him (yes, signs point to our baby being a boy!) from lots of different angles and he was busy swallowing and waving his little hand around which melted my heart.
Even after our private scan, I continued to worry that the 20 week NHS scan could show up some anomalies, but luckily everything seemed to look good. The technology they use is amazing, my mum came with me for the scan and we were both completely transfixed by seeing how blood was flowing to his various organs, a close up of his brain and heart and so on. It’s crazy how much of him we have seen before we have even met him.
This trimester my thoughts have also started turning to buying actual baby things. I was so scared of buying things in my first trimester and was still a bit reluctant until after our 20 week scan. As my mum had some health issues during her pregnancies I have been cautioned to try and get my ducks in a row quite early and not wait too late to get organised. Because of this I have tried not to buy too early but at the same time I want to be prepared. Has anyone else felt paralysed by fear but also had a really strong desire to buy stuff?
We started looking at the big things like cots, prams, car seats, baby monitors, and I am also asking for lots of advice from my mama friends who are all being absolutely awesome about giving me their top tips and recommendations. If you have any ‘must-buys’ for newborns (or similarly, suggestions on what definitely isn’t worth buying) I would love to read your recommendations in the comments.
I’ve also started to grow quite a bit this trimester, and I am now sporting a pretty decent-sized belly. By the end of week 18 I was ready to accept that I couldn’t fit in my jeans anymore, and it seemed to accelerate from there. Between weeks 25 and 26 I could literally feel my belly expanding day by day. I have been trying to keep my skin soft by drinking as much water as possible and using the mama mio belly butter. I know it’s expensive but it is so lovely, I will be investing in a second tub for the third trimester. Other ones I have heard recommended are Kokoso coconut oil, which can also be used on baby as well, and the Bloom and Blossom range from Mamas and Papas, which Laura Kenny (of cycling fame) has been raving about on Instagram.
The whole body confidence thing has continued to be a bit of a challenge for me, one that I feel some days I am winning and others I would quite happily just stay in a darkened room and not see anyone as I feel like a blimp! They say that comparison is the thief of joy and in pregnancy this is so true. As much as I don’t want to compare myself to others it’s really hard not to, especially when all of a sudden your body becomes public property for anyone and everyone to comment on. I know I’m not alone in having people comment on bump size, and I know they mean well but sometimes it can be so challenging, going on the same day from having people say ‘you’re so tiny’ to others commenting ‘your bump is massive’. So often mamas who have already been through this themselves are the most comforting, as they know to just comment more generally e.g. ‘you’re looking absolutely gorgeous’ rather than specifically on bump size. Similarly I know I have definitely been guilty of bump size comments in the past, and probably will be again in the future, so I can’t be too critical.
My bump seemed to come out of nowhere and I’ve had to re-learn how to get dressed after most of my tried and tested outfits have gone into my underbed storage bags, hopefully to be worn again in future. Thankfully my mum foresaw this and after my 20 week scan we scoured the shops for some staples. I don’t know what has worked for you all but I have found a combination of some looser dresses, vest tops, long cardigans, and stretchy tube skirts with looser tops or jumpers over them has worked wonders. I don’t feel like I am a maternity fashionista by any means, but I am managing to not feel too whale-like on a day-to-day basis which I think is an achievement. Primark and New Look have come up trumps. I also listened to Lisa’s great advice on maternity dressing and ordered the bardot dress of dreams from ASOS, I went for a floral print and am certain I am going to get tons of wear out of it, I already wore it to our niece’s Christening and got lots of compliments.
Now I am staring down the third trimester, so excited to meet our little one and wondering how we got here so quickly yet questioning how much bigger I am going to get, and of course whether the baby will choose to arrive early or late. The other thing I am trying to figure out is how to use my remaining annual leave – should I take a whole week at once and head off a week earlier than planned at 37 weeks, or just take a day a week for a longer period and work four days a week for the last month but right up to 38 weeks…any advice on what worked for you would be much appreciated.
Image by For The Love Photography.
How. Good. Is the Bardot dress of dreams?! 😊
Must buys for newborns… a swaddling blanket and a Sleepyhead (lots of lovely RMF readers recommended the Sleepyhead). Basically anything that might help baby to sleep longer at night!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xx
Thanks, Lisa, the dress is just so good, it’s also seen me through a hen do, so versatile. Excellent call on the sleepyhead and swaddle blanket, we have got a sleepyhead now and have been gifted some swaddles so hopefully we are on the right track! Hope you and the newest little one are doing well xx
Ahhh how exciting! The second trimester does seem to last forever doesn’t it! At the beginning it’s so far away and then at the end Baby is so close! I’m really glad it’s all going well for you. Recommendations- second the Sleepyhead but we got the BabyDan version as it is much cheaper! Also it isn’t for everyone but the Angel Care monitor with sensor mat is also great. On pushchairs I am a total BabyJogger fan girl, they fold with one hand- you simply lift it up and it folds. Winner. Also buy some Neals Yard Seaweed and Arnica bath stuff now- wherever your stitches are you will benefit from it.
Buying all these things I guess we all get caught up in the big stuff, but it’s so helpful for the NHS if we buy the small stuff like Gaviscon privately too as you save them the prescription charges. Not a criticism at all (we all pay in) but just a little way to help save them some pennies given the current state of affairs. Ditto alternate putting a pack of paracetamol/ ibuprofen in your supermarket shop each week- you need painkillers and they won’t give them to you to take home if you’ve had a vaginal delivery. Stash some for the hospital bag and keep the rest in your war chest at home.
Enjoy the last few weeks (if you can… I hate the 3rd trimester as I’m very impatient)!
Excellent point on the prescription front, a doctor friend told me that paracetamol costs around 20p to buy but the equivalent will cost the NHS £1.20 because of all the admin involved in prescribing it! Every little helps I guess. And also excellent tip on the Neal’s Yard arnica, I vaguely had arnica tablets on my list but wondered if I would ever remember to take them so this sounds like an option I am much more likely to use! Thanks again for your recommendations xx
For Arnica tablets I just buy a bottle of veterinary grade tablets from Amazon- the 200c ones. Then pop some when you take your other drugs. They definitely make a difference I think!
Also, maternity pads. You want the Boots slim ones. All others are basically nappies and only good for holding to your stitches when having a wee.
Ooooh you are a goldmine of info, thank you! People so often miss off their lists these very unglamorous but super important things! Xx
Maternity pads… I always tell friends to use the hospital ones – you won’t get better than those!
I think it’s worth buying stuff to wear now that can double as feeding wear ( if you’re planning on breast feeding that is!) it’s a whole suddenly different world of easy access needed!
I second a sleepyhead, LOADS of muslins, mothercare do some fab massive ones, as do TK Maxx( I found the Aden and Anais ones half price) they are invaluable and in every room in the house.
Would also recommend getting a pack of babygros in both newborn and 0-3 months- we were told our baby was going to be huge ( he was 7lLb😂) so husband found himself running to Tesco near the hospital to buy smaller clothes…
Nothing can prepare you for the amazing next chapter. I am sat here with my 12 week old boy in my arms and still want to cry with joy at how fabulous he is ❤️ Good luck! Xxx
Oh this is so lovely to hear Annie, thank you! Yes my dad’s advice has always been ‘prepare as much as you can for your own peace of mind but nothing can prepare you for what it will be like’! That’s great advice on the sizing front, so far we mainly have 0-3 and have got a multipack of bodysuits and sleepsuits in newborn size, with the idea that if he is newborn size when he arrives we will send family to do some purchasing! Xx
We’ve had a newborn for 9 days and the main thing we’ve used are muslins!! And the washing machine 😂 We’ve just bought a sleepyhead so keen to try that out! Re: swaddles, we found that the swaddling blankets we had were quite hard to get tight and our little hulk just fights his way out, so we got a gro snug- like a swaddle/sleeping bag hybrid which is much easier to get right with the hip placement etc. Sadly we’ve not found our Ewan that dream sheep as amazing as hoped! I can’t think of anything else I’d say is essential with a newborn… but one thing I plan to do once my boyfriend goes back to work is to get a bouncy chair just for the bathroom to put our baby in when I have a shower/go to the loo!!
For mat/annual leave, I was pretty lucky with the bank holidays allowing me to do 4 day weeks for a month in the run up and still finish at 37+1 – could you do a sort of split too? I found that shorter weeks were a godsend but equally I would have found going up to 38 weeks difficult (I had PGP and by then I really just wanted to rest!).
Hope the third trimester goes well!
Hi Katie, I completely hear you on the shorter weeks front, I would love to be doing 3 or 4 day weeks now! Great tip on the gro snug, I had kind of vaguely looked at them but wasn’t sure if they would be useful or not so probably worth purchasing one! I’ve seen some that can be unzipped for if they like their arms out and free later so might look at them. Thanks for the advice xx
Just to chip in the gro snug is AMAZING! It really helped our little one sleep in the early days. It’s so much easier when you’re sleep deprived and just takes the faff out of the whole thing. Plus it converts to a sleeping bag so you can transition them slowly out of the swaddling. I now buy one for any friend who is expecting.
Thanks for seconding this, some others have commented similarly so it has definitely jumped up my list now! Xx
If you have light fittings (not spotlights) then a “gro light” is essential. It fits into your fixing before you put the bulb in and when you switch the light on it just gives off a dim blue light. Perfect for nighttime feeds and changes. Then if you want the normal light on just turn your light switch on and off again (I think that makes sense) , it really is the best baby purchase we made and we have one in baby’s room and one on our landing which we leave on all night. Shop around as prices vary but John Lewis was the cheapest when we got ours.
Good luck with everything xx
Thanks, Kate, again this was something I’d seen but hadn’t had recommended to me so I was reluctant to buy but now I have a solid recommendation I will be on the hunt for one! So helpful having all these tips from you all, thank you xx
Tuppence and crumble star wraps are fab for in the car seat to keep baby warm, no covers to kick off and not bulky like a pramsuit.
They even do a cotton version for summer babies as well as their beautifully soft fleece versions.
http://tuppenceandcrumble.com/shop/Baby-Star-Wraps-Naturals
If we were lucky enough to have another I’d definitely get a proper feeding cushion too.
I think apart from the main “big” things its going to be trial and error as to what works for you and little man.
I’m sure you’ll be overwhelmed with gifts too, so don’t go mad buying clothes. As tempting as is it!
Wishing you lots of luck for the rest of your pregnancy.
Thank you, Lou, yes we have already got lots of clothes so I am trying to resist buying things though I did cave and buy a few little things in the John Lewis sale in bigger sizes for him to grow into! A friend had the star wrap and said it is absolutely the must buy, I also really like that they seem to get a lot of wear out of them and it can double as a pram suit which looks really handy. Thanks! Xx
Its not the cutest of suggestions but I’d say sign up for Amazon Prime and online grocery shopping if you don’t already have it…there’s usually lots of bits and pieces you suddenly realise you want or need more of and it saves the stress of either of you having to get out to the shops the whole time. Even with my second baby I’m on first name terms with my Amazon delivery guy! 😂
Haha a very practical tip! I think I read about the importance of amazon on Ruth Crilly’s blog the Uphill, and of course about the trials and tribulations of opening the door to the Amazon delivery guy with a boob out by accident/sick down your front etc, I have all these glamorous incidents to come! Thanks for the very practical advice xx
Ohhh I LOVE Ruth Crilly…..she is hilarious!
I would like her to be my friend pls…..!!
A million muslins… especially if you have a sicky baby. Don’t bother with Jojo ones, they’re too small! John Lewis or Boots are good.
Spare cover for your sleepyhead is ESSENTIAL – you can’t tumble dry them. Dont be tempted as they shrink! Then trying to get it on again is like wrestling an octopus.
Yes a spare cover is firmly on my list, I am hankering after the grey chevron one so am going to buy soon I think. Why is it that I seem to have this mental block about actually clicking ‘buy’?! I will never know. We already have been gifted quite a few muslins but I think I might buy an extra pack for just in case as everyone seems to be recommending them! Thanks so much xx
My baby loved his sleepyhead but had really bad reflux so was very sicky. I used pram/crib sheets over the sleepyhead. A perfect fit and much easy to whip off and change in the night if needed. Much easier to wash and dry too.
Agreed Victoria! It seems a bit frivolous, but if I have another sicky baby I’d get more ‘nice’ muslins, as we have so many lovely photos from our son’s first six months with awful bulk-bought overwashed greying muslins hanging around!
We used fitted sheets meant for a Snuzpod mattress on our Sleepyhead to save the cover wrangling – they are pricey but lovely designs and wash well.
Oh thanks Hayley this is a great tip, we are snuzpod purchasing this weekend (kind of panic purchasing in advance of midwife home visit next week eeeek) I think so that’s very good to know! I am still amazed at how many different sheets you need and thankfully my mother-in-law came over with a bag of second hand, freshly washed fitted sheets in lots of sizes that my sister-in-law had been given and never used, so I am working my way through these to figure out which ones fit what! Xx
Don’t worry, they don’t need to see the actual cot etc – just the room/a they’ll sleep in. We were mid-decorating in both our room and the nursery for our home visit! (I’m in Sheffield too) xx
Oh that’s good to know! I have heard so many different things, my midwife just said ‘I only really need to see where the baby will sleep’. I did warn her that we will be mid kitchen renovation, and although everything inside me knows that they are used to seeing mums-to-be in full on nesting mode and undertaking crazy renovations just before baby’s arrival I am still finding the thought of the visit a bit stressful, so thank you for your reassuring comment! Xx
Me too! I also put the sleepyhead in the snuzpod.
Yes I think that’s our plan, although watch us be the unlucky ones with a baby who doesn’t like the sleepyhead! Haha! Xx
I’m just over 21 weeks and starting to think about buying things – there’s so much out there its a bit scary! We are going to brave mothercare for the first time tomorrow I think. I’ve only just had my 20 week scan today (and have to go back again as baby was not co-operative!) If I’d realised what a long wait it would be from 12 weeks I definitely would of considered a private one in the meantime – still waiting to find if it’s a boy or a girl!
Oh good luck with your second 20 week scan, hopefully he/she is being less cheeky this time! My 20 week scan seems like ages ago now, I luckily can feel him moving all the time but I would love to see him on screen again. Fingers crossed that’s not tempting fate! I think the buying stuff question never gets less overwhelming so hopefully some of the comments here are helpful to you as well. I have loved browsing things and haven’t really bought much myself, but it’s lovely to go as a couple of you can and pick maybe one special outfit or similar just to kind of make it feel real I think, and then you can buy the sensible things online more often than not! Also I didn’t say in my post but do look out for the Mothercare expectant parent events, we haven’t been to one but I hear they can be useful and they also offer discounts as well I think. Sending you lots of good luck for the rest of your pregnancy xx
just a quick comment, but thought I’d point out that you don’t need to fork out for extra sleepyhead covers. Most sheets will fit over the top of it and you can also use a muslin for extra protection. We used the snuzpod sheets on ours; they come in a pack of 2 so one for the snuzpod and one for the sleepyhead! x
That’s really good to know, I will have an experiment with the various sheets and the sleepyhead and see what fits! Thanks for the tip xx
How does that hold the bumper in place on the mattress? Doesn’t it just come apart?! Also I’d worry it wasn’t safe for baby as the point of the covers is that they’re tight to fit and make it breathable etc.
Oooh I don’t know the answer to this Victoria but will look into it just to be doubly sure! Thanks xx
Ahhh congratulations, such an exciting time, I miss being pregnant 😭 (Even though I did a lot of moaning about it at the time!) I’ve got 2 children and my top purchase is a Sleepyhead. Get one. Worth every penny! Also you can’t have too many muslins. If you’re planning to breastfeed then have a tube of Lansinoh cream in your hospital bag, it’s a lifesaver. In terms of finishing work I would say don’t work up to 38 weeks, you’ll be so tired and everything is hard work by then. Try finish by 37 weeks if not 36 and enjoy some nesting time at home. Plus you never know when baby will arrive anyway! Best of luck 😊 X
Thanks Sarah, yes I have got a tube of that cream in my (half packed and not at all complete) hospital bag as I have seen it recommended in so many places. Everyone seems to have said don’t work up to 38 weeks, so in the end I have now gone with the option of finishing at 37 weeks but using a week of annual leave, so officially I will go on mat leave at 38 weeks. It means I have to work full time up until week 37, no four day weeks for me, and if I go overdue it might seem excessive, but the heat wave the other week reminded me how uncomfortable I would be if it was hot and I was still trying to work up to 38 weeks! So good to know all the mamas here are condoning this approach. Xx
Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy! Glad you’re enjoying all the scans. When all is well they’re really special moments.
I’d recommend investing in a gro snug or swaddle up bag. They save faff with blanket and it’s part of the bedtime routine. Ours now seem to know it’s bedtime when they’re put in it. Not sure if they work with a sleepyhead or equivalent as we have twins they went directly into the cot. Needless to say they were dwarfed by it at the start but it was the only way to sleep them together!
Second the not buying too early or too late. I knew there was a risk of mine arriving early but waited until week 28 for the big purchases (having done research before then). Enjoy though – shopping is the fun part.
On annual leave I went down to 4 days a week planning to go off later. This really helped me get through the week and i found i got a fair bit of preparation done without it being stressful. I then took an extra week off later as I found the end of my pregnancy fairly tough. I just took it as anticipated leave on the following year given you accrue it once on mat leave.
So much respect for you as a twin mama! Yes someone else above has recommended the sleep bags so will be looking at them again, there’s just so much choice! Thanks for your help xx
I ended up moving maternity leave to 36 weeks and my son was born 40 and 4 so I had a month off, but it was so good to relax and it’s he only time you’ll get to do this. I’m now 35 weeks with a 22 month old and Looking back wistfully at my month of sleeping, reading and nesting!
I actually have the cocoonababy rather than sleepyhead and absolutely loved it and will be reusing it. It’s a must for a reflux baby. As everyone has already said alllll the muslins. A nappy bin (we have the sangenic) because there are so many and your bedroom will be piled high otherwise. A night light. We used it for night time breastfeeds and nappy changes and he still goes to sleep with it now. I’ll be getting one for this baby too as it starts that bedtime routine early. Also lasinoh saved my nipples and I definitely needed breastpads as I leaked constantly.
Thanks, Anna, lots of people have said the same as you, to enjoy the time before baby arrives as it’s the last you’ll get to yourself for a long while. And of course there are always those stories of women who finish at 37 weeks and go into labour on their first day of mat leave! I have stocked up on lansinoh and breast pads (disposable and reusable) with some in my half finished hospital bag, but always good to hear that I’m heading down the right track with those things! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, you’re a week ahead of me Xx
I worked up to 38 weeks with my first and felt so uncomfortable in my last week, I have an office job and just sitting down all the time, I felt like I had baby all up in my grill haha!! I also got swollen ankles for the first time which went as soon as I finished work and was moving around more, so this time I planned to finish at 37 weeks but was so knackered I ended up finishing at 36 weeks. I’ve been off two weeks now and with the hot weather I’m so glad I have!
Our Best Buy is an Angelcare bath seat https://www.amazon.co.uk/Angelcare-Soft-Touch-Bath-Support/dp/B00AWMV9CY my daughter has always loved bath time and I’m sure it’s due to her feeling secure and supported in the early days so we then had both hands free to wash her and play with her. Good luck with the third trimester, it drags at the end!!
Thank you Natalie, hope your mat leave is going well and you’re a little more comfortable now you’re not in the office all day. With the hot weather I found with sitting down all day my ankles got really swollen and as you say at the weekend when I am doing more they weren’t as bad. I think earlier in pregnancy when it’s your first time the idea that sitting in an office chair could be super uncomfortable seems a bit strange but at 34 weeks now I am definitely starting to be less than comfy on most days, the three week countdown to annual
Leave/mat leave combo is now firmly on! Xx
I am going to go against the grain and say I think working to 38 weeks was the best decision I made. Even after a year off, an extra week with my baby meant everything to me. If I’d finished at 37 weeks then I’d have lost that week to sitting on my own whilst everyone I knew was at work! Plus these babies can be two weeks late so that’s an awful lot of sitting around.
My essential purchase would be a Love to Dream Swaddle. Really helped with our daughter’s startle reflex which woke her up at night (she barely let me put her down as it was so seeing her wake herself up was soul-destroying).
Be aware how many clothes sizes there are for the first few months. My baby was 6lb 7 and I had to send people to get tiny babygrows then after a few weeks he went in to newborn then ‘up to a month’ and then at 3 months he wore 0-3 months. And keep all tags on, I was given insane amounts of clothes so took a lot back and changed for bigger sizes or vouchers to use later.
My sister in law recommended Badedas for the bath after birth but I also just had tea tree oil baths, both were great and maybe I’m lucky but I didn’t need to pee using a water jug which I put down to regular baths.
Also, get maternity pads with wings and the thick ones and wear them together for the first week or so.
Parents-to-be and parents need to be made aware that a sleepyhead doesn’t adhere to the Lullaby Trust or NHS guidance on reducing the risk of sudden infant death (SIDS). As a healthcare professional, I would advise against the product until more research has been carried out.