If I’m completely honest, labour wasn’t something that I’d given much thought to. I think I was in denial that the baby would actually have to come out (!) In fact my denial was so strong that Matt had to pack my hospital bag after my waters had broken (something I really wouldn’t advise – let’s just say a mans idea of big pants is totally different to a womans)…
The Beginning
But, I’ll start at the beginning, and before the mad rush of the hospital bag fiasco it was just a normal Sunday. We’d slept in, had a big breakfast and walked the dog along the beach. By the end of my pregnancy, this activity normally resulted in achey period pains that would disappear once I’d rested, but not on this occasion. The period pains got progressively worse throughout the day – although I was still merrily in denial, despite Matt asking me if I thought I might be in labour.
I went to bed early and was disturbed by Matt getting into bed at around midnight. Half awake, half asleep, I suddenly I felt a trickle running down my leg. I knew pretty much immediately that this was it. The denial was over. I snuck out of bed (as best as a heavily pregnant lady can) and went to the bathroom to check if it was my waters going, even though there was nothing else it could have been. In hindsight, at this point I should have taken some paracetamol and just gone back to bed. But I was WAY too wired – the reality of imminent labour was starting to sink in. So I sat up all night, faffing around doing random things for Rock My Wedding, eating bowls of cheerios, watching stupid TV shows and breathing through the period pains which were ever increasing.
At around 5am Matt woke up and found me on the sofa, in quite a lot of pain. He looked at me wide eyed (I’ll never forget his face) and said…
‘Is it happening?’
To which I replied ‘Yes.’
And we both just sort of looked at each other as if to say ‘What the hell do we do now?!’
We didn’t really have a clue what to do, the midwives, HVs and our NCT teacher had all said stay at home for as long as you can bear the pain but it seemed to come and go in waves, so after calling labour ward just to make sure, I succumbed to those paracetamol and got back into bed. As soon as the shops opened Matt went out to get the final bits I needed for my hospital bag. I woke up at around 11am and felt like at this point I wanted to be in hospital. I wanted to have people around me who knew what was happening. The pain was still bearable. With breathing and crouching over the end of the table I could get through each passing phase but it was definitely building and lets just say the drive to hospital was uncomfortable to say the least.
Arriving At Hospital
Once we’d arrived at hospital things seemed to slow down again. I felt a tiny bit like I should still be at home, we even parked the car in the short stay because we thought we might be sent back. What happened next caused things to progress a little more quickly though. I was lying on the bed being examined when there was a loud popping sound – it the rest of my waters going. And it was like an actual flood and it just kept on coming.
Matt went and moved the car to the long stay, and that was it. We were off!
I’d say about an hour or so after my waters broke properly, the contractions started coming heavily. I had to make the move from a consultation room downstairs to the labour ward upstairs and it involved several stops, bending over double and trying not to cry. Once we’d settled ourselves into the room, the midwife tried to examine me again, but lying on my back was just too painful so I have no idea how dilated I was. For me the most comfortable position was on my knees, with my arms over the end of the bed, which had been pulled up so I could lean over it.
My in-denial birth plan had basically just stated that I wanted as natural a birth as possible, so once the contractions really started to become unbearable, I used gas and air. My midwife asked me to aim for three big breaths in and out during each contraction, which pretty much became my focus. I’d done lots of pregnancy yoga and had practiced breathing but nothing can prepare you for just how much concentration it takes to breathe whilst you’re in labour. To be honest, I’m not sure that the gas and air actually took that much pain away – it’s a pain that shifts from a dull ache, to one that literally rips through you and it was excruciating. But having that focus of three breaths in and out definitely helped to distract me. And it must have done something, as according to Matt I was pretty out of it. In fact, at one stage I took a huge lungful of gas and then promptly vomited into a bowl. Delightful.
My NCT Yoga teacher had told us that you get to a stage during labour where you want to give up, but this is when your body takes over and the baby is really close to coming out. I can remember saying to Matt and to my midwife that I couldn’t do it anymore – and low and behold, it was time to start pushing. The three breaths in and out became deep breath in, out and push, deep breath in, out and push…you get the picture. And by this point the contractions were so close together that there was very little rest time between the breathing and pushing.
At this point I will stress again, it’s very hard to describe how painful labour is. It literally takes over your whole being. It’s really hard to cling on to the thought that each contraction brings you closer to your baby (which is true of course) but it’s tough, tough going. You just have to trust that your body will do it’s thing. You have to go with it. The best way for me to describe how I felt is totally out of control whilst also being the most in control of my body I’ve ever been.
And all of a sudden, we were at the final point, the point where you do short quick breaths and a little succession of pushes to get the head out. That was probably the most acute pain for me – people often describe crowning as a burning sensation and I’d definitely agree. And then her head was out, her shoulders were out and like a slippery little fish, her whole body slid out. The sense of relief was utterly overwhelming. The pain was over. The baby was breathing, crying, gasping in lungfuls of air and she was utterly perfect. At 7.30pm on Monday 12th January 2015, all 7lbs 14oz of little Elle entered the world.
A Positive Experience
Matt was beyond amazing – I cannot even beginning to describe how much his support helped me. My midwife was pretty special too. I love that it was just the three of us. Sometimes hospital births get a bad press, but mine was calm, intimate and exactly how I wanted it to be. I know I was incredibly fortunate, my labour was almost textbook and my birth plan was executed exactly how I wanted. I delivered my placenta naturally shortly afterwards (another delightful moment no-one talks about). And my whole labour experience was very positive – albeit painful. Anyone reading this who is pregnant, I know that labour doesn’t often go to plan, but sometimes it does, and I think it’s good to read about experiences that are OK.
And it really was OK.
A lot of this is down to luck and probably some genetics, but I know that doing yoga, practising breathing and lots of pelvic floor exercises really helped me.
Labour was by far the most raw and real experience of my life. If I’m ever in a situation now where I need to dig my heels in, I transport myself back to the labour ward and tell remind myself that if I can do that – I can do anything.
I found it a truly empowering experience.
(Oh and please, please, PLEASE pack your hospital bag before your waters break. Next time around I’m having it by the door from week 30!!!)
Fern it’s so refreshing to read your experience – my labour and birth also went exactly to the rough plan I had in my head, give or take the fact that it went on for 31 hours and I was puking so much I needed anti-nausea injections!
But I got through the contractions with paracetamol and some sterile water injections into my back, followed by some gas and air in the birthing pool once I started pushing. I had the drug-free, natural water birth that I so wanted.
Like you, I would describe the head crowning as a burning sensation but something in your body just takes over, it’s mind-blowing how it just knows what to do. And once the head is out everything else follows quickly afterwards.
I also consider my birth as empowering – I was on such a high, and felt like I could conquer the world!! I’d been told so many horror stories whilst pregnant (honestly, WHY do people do that when you’re expecting your first baby?!) that I’ve told every woman I know who has gotten pregnant since that labour and birth CAN go to plan. Or even if it doesn’t, that doesn’t mean it’s going to be some scary ordeal. Just go with the flow and trust your body – it really does know what to do! We are amazing creatures x
Thanks for sharing your experience too Claire – I can’t believe you managed to keep that strong about no pain relief over 31 hours! That’s incredible.
I wanted a water birth, but unfortunately that wasn’t an option in our hospital. But no. 1 went so smoothly my midwife said – Maybe a home birth for the next one?! 😉 so perhaps I will get my water birth after all.
We are amazing creatures! x
Fern, love that you had such a great experience and you do make me chuckle about not having your bag ready. As if Matt headed off to the shops whilst you were in labour. So funny. Completely agree with the reaching the point of not being able to do it being the tuning point. I said exactly the same with Molly and that was it so when I got like that with Alice I knew it wasn’t long to go. And big up to just the gas and air! xx
Not only that Lottie, but we stopped off at my friend Alice’s house on the way to the hospital to drop off some Lemon Drizzle cake I’d made for our NCT meet up that day…I was cool as a cucumber! Not sure what the hell was wrong with me?! x
Ha! That’s cracked me up. Hubby asked if we had enough time to hit the Costa drive-thru en route to deliver Effie….
Such a refreshing read Fern. I have five weeks until my due date and have done the hypnobirthing course and pregnancy yoga but in the back of my mind I know it may not go to plan. To read someone’s experience that actually did made me feel super positive this morning. Perhaps I should go and pack my hospital bag this weekend though?! Thank you Fern! X
Yes go and pack your bag!!!
Good luck with everything, it’s great that you’ve done hypnobirthing, lots of my friends did and it really helped them x
Fab read!
My first labour didn’t go to plan and although I was sucking away on gas and air, I didn’t really use it effectively or breathe properly. Totally agree on the concentration it takes to breathe during labour. It’s very hard not to panic and lose control. Second time I was super mega focused and felt I controlled the whole thing so much better and managed just on the gas and air. Basically as soon as you feel like you’ve already pushed something large out of your bottom, your baby is probably crowning ?
Although at the time i remember saying it was horrendous, I look back on it as such a positive experience and am immensely proud. 2 gorgeous babies to show for it. Xx
You’re so right about using the gas and air properly Nicola! I think it’s a technique that you need to practise. Apparently there are also different sized and shaped nozzles so if you don’t like the one they give you, you can ask for another one! Sounds silly, but little things like that can make a difference.
Totally agree, I think we should all be super proud for having babies – however they came out x
I am expecting my second baby in 3 weeks and definitely needed to hear a positive birth story as I’m starting to hit panic stations! With my first I got to 8cm before having an emergency C Section so Ive been given the option of having an elective this time but am still insisting on trying for a natural delivery. I felt good about my decision until a couple of other mums decided to start sharing horror stories with me and since then I’ve been really nervous, why do women do that to each other?!?! But anyway, thank you for making me feel like I can do this! Note to self, must go and pack hospital bag…
Positive pants on, Martha! I’m sure you are/have but read ALL the VBAC stories you can find, good and bad alike. Really get a feel for all the scenarios that can come about. There was a great vba2c on One Born recently, if you think a visual might help?
It’s a different situ but with my twins everyone assumed I would have a csec at 36-37 weeks (‘if you make it that far! haha!’ WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME?) and they were born naturally at 39+5. We researched like crazy and really felt comfortable with a)our decision to try and b)the various ways it could go.
Lots of love and positive thoughts to you!
Second the love and positive thoughts Martha. You stick to your guns, you know your body best 🙂
Why oh why do we have to scare each other?! It’s so silly x
Well done Maoibh! It is no achievement of mine (am an ob/gyn), but I am always so incredibly proud of twin Mums like you who have an amazing natural birth and not getting scared beforehand and getting an elective C-section! Nature is amazing!
Go girl! Don’t let them scare you! Yes it is possible that it will end in a second C-section, but it can also work out just fine! I have seen both and am always so happy when it’s possible to have a natural birth after a C-section. I had my first baby in January and in the end had to have a C-section too. But like you I will still try for a natural birth next time! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!!
I do love reading all your labour and birth stories so thank you for sharing. I am currently 6 days overdue but trying not to think about it! I have been doing pregnancy yoga and trying to practice the breathing but as you point out trying to breath whilst in the throws of about pain will be quite different to sat on my yoga mat. I procrastinated packing my hospital bag too – I think it does make it all so real but it has been packed and in the car ready – I just need baby to turn up now!
Ahhh Sophie, I hope you’re feeling ok! Yes, definitely different – I can’t say I did much colour visualisation or imagining a tiny gold thread being drawn from my lungs during labour (!) but big deep long breaths were my saviour!
Let us know how you get on 🙂 wishing you lots of luck, big hugs x
Ahh I love this labour story! It’s quite similar to mine although I gave birth in water, which obviously isn’t for everyone but I can say that it really helped to relieve the pain and pressure if you don’t want drugs and it also made the crowning part not that bad – it wasn’t too burny in fact I didn’t even really realise that’s what was happening! I agree when you say it’s hard to explain how it all feels, it’s definitely all encompassing. The part where you want to give up was also true to me (I think they called in ‘transition’ in my birthing classes) – I’d been pretty good until that point where I had a bit of a meltdown and demanded an epidural (which I hadn’t wanted) – turns out I was 9cm and close to pushing! I found the pushing bit a crazy experience, it felt like I’d been possessed in a way! Someone offering me a million £ couldn’t have stopped me pushing, it was such a strong urge! I’m expecting number 2 now and part of me is quite looking forward to doing it again, I just hope I’m lucky again that there are no complications. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done but that moment when your baby enters the world is just like nothing else ? I also agree that it’s nice to hear of births that go well – obviously many do not and its good to be prepared for what could happen but I think when you’re pregnant with your first too many people are keen to tell you horror stories and try make you feel like an idiot if you want to try for a natural birth, it creates a culture of fear around birth and that’s not helpful to anyone x
Your labour sounds lovely Sarah (!) I wanted a water birth but they don’t offer this at our hospital and given that it was my first baby and we don’t have family close by, I wanted to be in hospital rather than at home. Next time round I’d definitely consider an at home water birth (not sure Matt would be too keen on that though!)
Thanks for reminding me of the word – definitely the ‘transition.’ So funny that lots of us can remember this as the turning point, and the point where we demanded drugs even though we didn’t really want them!
Thank you for sharing your story x
It’s so lovely to read positive experiences, I had my baby boy 7 weeks ago and I’m still pinching myself that it was the dream birth I had hoped for. We did a hypnobirthing course with the wise hippo and I practiced yoga every week and these two things helped with my breathing and stamina I’m sure. I would actually go as far to say that I enjoyed the contractions and wouldn’t describe any of it as painful. Intense, yes – but definitely not painful.
One thing that no-one seems to ever talk about is perineum massage – people can’t wait to tell you about their third degree tears but never a mention of the benefits of a little attention to the area in the weeks running up to birth. I did it and it was a bit weird but so so worth it as I had no tears or even soreness after giving birth to an 8lb 2oz baby – I will be telling every pregnant lady I meet about it from now on!!
Charlotte thank you for mentioning perineum massage, I didn’t do this BUT did practise pelvic floor exercises religiously and I didn’t tear or really have any soreness either. Definitely agree that a little attention to the area is worth doing! x
There definitely aren’t enough positive labour stories out there for us women to read and I think they are so important to share and help other mothers feel confident about their labours and births.
I gave birth 6 days ago and my labour was an amazing experience. I was 4 days overdue so had been for a sweep that morning, we carried on our day as usual and by mid afternoon I decided to have s nap and watch a movie. At 5pm I got my first twinge of a contraction, the next one followed 10 minutes later and the next 8 minutes after that… By 6pm they were at a constant 6 minutes apart. Not convinced that this was really it I made some dinner and kept on timing the contractions. At 8pm they were getting more intense so I took myself off for a bath – while in the bath they suddenly ramped up to every 3 minutes and I had an overwhelming urge to push – I now realised not only was this really happening but it was probably time to get to the hospital – my poor husband thought we had hours to go so was pretty panic stricken when I told him to get everything in the car.
We got to the hospital at 9pm (after turning back once as we’d forgotten my notes), I was in a birthing pool at 9.40pm and my baby was born at 10.06pm – 5 hours after my first twinge!
I used my yoga and Hypnobirthing breathing throughout and along with the pool (which was amazing) only used a little gas and air. Repeating the Hypnobirthing affirmations in my head ‘every surge is bringing my baby closer’ really helped me focus and understand that my body could totally do this and the more relaxed I was, the easier it would be.
My baby arrived totally calm and happy, after my initial shock of what i had just done I turned to my husband and said ‘ well that was ok…’ – I think it was the endorphins speaking!
But looking back, it was ok, it was amazing. it was intense but for me short and yes it’s painful no one will say it’s not, but you can do it – your body knows how and it’s possible to look back on it (even after a couple of days) as an amazing experience – us women are incredible in what we can do and thats what should be shared not the negetive experiences and horror stories.
Wow Lulu, that is a fast labour! So glad that you made it to the pool.
Haha, that must have been endorphins…and good on you for being able to look back on it as a positive experience so quickly x
Well done Fern and thanks for sharing. Also how cute is Elle!!
I’m 20 weeks and like everyone hoping that I am blessed with a natural positive labour experience. I am very much hoping that the old fish wives tale rings true and I am blessed with similar labours to my Mum who had five quick natural births. Here’s hoping.
I actually don’t mind hearing the horror stories and negative experiences, I think they need to be shared too, they are every bit the reality that dreamy, hypnobirthing oh so natural births are and that is their labour story so why should they pretend that it was different.
I understand some ladies would prefer not to know, but I like to be well informed and aware of every eventuality so I’m grateful for the horror stories too and remain confident that I’ll conquer whatever labour I am presented with. xo
Just did you a little clap and a cheer, Helen. Well said! I’ve had three superb, quick, natural births but even if we had more kids I’d still take in as many stories as I could covering all eventualities. Knowledge is power etc etc!
Here’s hoping you follow your mum’s awesome path xx
Ah thanks Helen, she’s 16 months now, so not quite so little and cute anymore 🙁
Your Mum sounds amazing, my Mum had four natural (relatively smooth) births so fingers crossed you’ll have a birth close to what you’d like.
I was an avid watcher of One Born and read LOADS of birth stories on the internet, so I agree about knowing about negative experiences, I just think sometimes people don’t share the positive ones and it’s nice to be in a position to be able to do that 🙂
Oh absolutely! I certainly prefer hearing the positive ones, that’s for sure lol! I just also appreciate the somewhat scary ones too! I’m also an avid watcher of One Born (in fact since becoming pregnant I am guilty of spending a considerable amount of time scrolling through 4OD trying to find episodes I haven’t seen before), whilst the husband cannot bear to watch and my Mum thinks I’m foolish to want to know so much! I actually think I am perhaps naively optimistic about the whole thing so perhaps that’s why the scary stories don’t bother me so much.
Haha Matt wouldn’t watch it either! It literally makes him queasy, so I was worried he’d be awful when I went into labour, but he was amazing!
I think being naively optimistic is fine – there’s no way of knowing what will happen so if you can go into it positively then that’s a good start 🙂 x
Oh Fern, this has just made me shed a little tear at my desk! The good kind of tear…like when watching One Born Every Minute (or is that just me?!). It’s so rare to read a birth story that isn’t either scary or that breezes over the pain of labour. As someone who is yet to go through pregnancy and labour, I get petrified by the former and I am extremely suspicious of the latter. I mean, you’re pushing a human out of your hoo-ha – I’m pretty sure that’s meant to hurt!
Your positive, but brilliantly honest, story is so refreshing, and there need to be more stories out there like it, so that non-mama’s like me aren’t either put off birth forever, or end up going into it thinking that if you feel pain you’re somehow letting the side down! x
Ah thank you Emily – so glad you enjoyed reading it. If you search ‘labour stories’ in the RMF search bar you can find some of the other girls stories too 🙂
I SOB at One Born, even more so now I’ve had a baby…
And yes, pushing a baby out of your hoo-ha is pretty horrendous, there’s not much getting around it! x
Ferny! This was so lovely to read; I felt like I was transported to your labour and was experiencing it with you. And I’m so pleased that you had such a positive birth experience…sometimes I’ve felt like the only one who has done so it’s so nice to hear about other mums who had a great labour too. That’s not to say it doesn’t hurt like hell but I think it’s refreshing to hear that the pain is bearable; after all we’ve all come out the other side haven’t we.
I definitely recognise the burning sensation as the head crowns – talk about ring sting!! And there were definitely times when I said to Ste ‘I can’t do this’ to which he simply replied with a smile on his face ‘you can’. I can’t stress enough how massively supportive it is to have someone by your side cheering you on the whole way so it’s lovely to hear that Matt was a champion too!
I also completely agree with the idea that pregnancy yoga and pelvic floor exercises are really important too. I didn’t go to yoga but I did do crossfit which incorporates the importance of breathing into the techniques they use. That and squatting meant that I had the fitness to get through labour which is so blinking exhausting!!
Thanks lovely, it was reading your labour story that reminded me how amazing Matt was, Ste sounded great 🙂
And that’s a good point – being strong and fit for labour is definitely important! Crossfit sounds like great prep. It’s literally like getting through a marathon isn’t it?! x
Well done Fern and it’s great to get those positive birth stories out there – you hear so many horror stories and it’s good to see a balanced view.
My labour was quite similar to yours, I was planning on natural and had been practicing hypno and breathing, mainly because I was quite nervous of hospitals and didn’t want to feel out of it in any way – that scared me more than the thought of the pain! I had a super busy day the day before – I went on a bike ride, went shopping, had s*x (sorry!) and also used a Lush bath bomb that has clary sage in it the night before. I went to bed feeling a bit niggly and woke up at 3am and knew this was it. I got straight in the bath for around 5hrs and used my breathing to get through contractions which were quite close together at about 2 mins apart from pretty much the start. We decided to go to hospital at that point and I have to say I really noticed the ramp up in pain from getting out of the water! For me it was great pain relief. When we got to the hospital the contractions were coming thick and fast but I don’t think I was believed as I was still in the zone and quite calm which I thank hypnobirthing for. I was examined and was 7cm so not too long to go! I got straight into the pool again at the birthing centre for some water relief and eventually had my little boy kneeling up on the bed after getting out to be examined. I would describe the pain of labour and crowning as agony – it’s very intense at the end but your body does take over and get you through it. I didn’t have any drugs and also felt that elation and felt so empowered and happy. I don’t believe you win any prizes for not having drugs/epidurals and every birth is so individual but for me, I really believe in the power of hypnobirthing, getting in the zone and doing your best to remain relaxed. I think your body really does take over and I believed I could do it.
Fingers crossed I have a similar experience this time – who knows!
That sounds like a great labour experience, I’m so impressed you didn’t even have gas and air!!! Totally agree on each one being individual too, if things had taken a different turn I was open to whatever option was best for baby 🙂
Fingers crossed for you for this time around, at least you can go into it knowing what you’re capable of! x
This is so lovely Fern! I so agree that hearing all the ways birth can go is great – and it’s wonderful to hear such a fab, straightforward one like yours. It sounds really empowering and I love your description of feeling both in and out of control all at the same time – the human body is seriously clever!
Just to hopefully reassure anyone who is worried – my birth story is just about the complete opposite, ventouse delivery, epidural, IV drip for an infection I’d picked up – but it was still a positive empowering experience! I used all my hypnobirthing techniques to get to 6cm before going into the hospital and then got stuck at 8cm and it was clear that this wasn’t going to be an straightforward birth and I was going to need help, so opted for an epidural and discussed options with my consultant who suggested a ventouse delivery – you push, I pull were his words (a day after the contractions had started and when I was exhausted, I had a wobble and the consultant said “get angry and have a baby” – best advice ever) and out popped all 9lbs9 of my son! His weight was probably a factor in why I needed help and I’m okay with that. I went in hoping for a natural hypnobirth but I had the birth that Keanu needed in order to come out healthy. Which is ok by me.
I now firmly believe that what can make a birth a positive or negative experience is how in control and empowered you are made to feel. Whether it’s a water birth or c-section – if you feel like you’re owning your decisions and believe they are what you need in that moment, then however the birth happens, you can leave feeling like you did what you needed to do. This is where the medical staff play a huge part and I included something along these lines in my birth plan.
Absolutely best of luck to everyone expecting a baby soon – I’m nearly 7 weeks in so it’s all brand new!
I totally agree Kate…it’s all about not being too rigid with how you thought it would be. I’m just behind you (5 weeks in) and my labour was not the natural water birth I planned. I had a haemorrhage when I was only 4cm and got a rather emergency ambulance trip to hospital. Once there I was hooked up to a crazy amount of monitors and couldn’t move so had an epidural. Labour was well over 24 hours, took 2.5 hours of pushing and there was a lot of tearing on top of an episiotomy. Everything I was scared of before going into labour. But, I didn’t mind. The midwives were lovely. The doctors were lovely. My husband was a superstar. I didn’t regret how anything went and wish someone had told me that it’s possible for everything to go wrong and for you to still feel really positive. My baby girl is super healthy and I’m feeling pretty good too!
Next time, I won’t get hung up on details. It’ll happen, and it will be fine.
Congratulations on your little girl Mel! I so so agree – I was really amazed to realise that I felt fine and had no regrets about how it all happened, and that it was possible to feel like that about what was a difficult birth. But it really is! I’m so glad you felt similarly after yours xx
Thank you for sharing Kate, you’ve absolutely hit the nail on the head, it’s about you doing the right thing for your baby and this can change by the minute. You’re a hero in my eyes for having got through an entire day of contractions! And 9,9 is a big baby!!!
Totally agree that the staff play a part in helping you feel in control of your decisions, being well informed as to why things need to be done/what is going to happen is crucial and I’ve only got praise for the NHS as far as these things are concerned.
Hope things are going ok, give Keanu a big squeeze from us all x
Thank you Fern! Keanu is doing great, he’s now over 13lbs and keeps growing. 😉 Thanks for sharing your story, really enjoyed reading this and the comments!xx
Ah this bought a year to my eye 🙂 what a lovely experience you had. Blummin love a good labour story! X
It was lovely, it’s been so nice to reminisce today 🙂
I had two very very different birth experiences, both ends of the spectrum – one medicalised (induction as I had preeclampsia, epidural, on my back to push, in for the long haul as I was only 38 weeks!) and one very natural (spontaneous rupture of membranes at home at 41 weeks, water birth with NO pain relief – I’m not a hard nut, I just hate gas and air! – midwife led, 2 hrs start to finish). They were both great experiences. I think you just have to go into it with an open mind and be prepared for every eventuality as that way you won’t feel so out of control which I think for a lot of women does lead to them feeling like a passenger in their labour and disempowers them.
I’m so with you on the ring sting though. I gave birth 4 weeks ago and it’s still the thing that sticks out in my head. Having said that, I had second degree tears with both so I had a bit of an epiphany a couple of days ago – no wonder it bloody hurt for that bit; I was literally ripping myself open to get the baby out! It’s not surprising you tell your other half that you don’t want to do it any more at that point…
Oh, and I packed my bag in the early stages of labour this time too. I have NO excuse either, she was a week overdue…
Ouch Sara, that’s a very good point and has made me wince just thinking about it! Thank you for sharing both of your stories, it’s been so lovely to read everyone’s experiences today and the overwhelming feeling seems to be that however your baby ends up coming out, at some point (whether it’s the day after or months down the line) the fact that you created a tiny human is SO empowering x
Great read Fern. I don’t get why people tell you their birthing horrors when you’re expecting! My second boy is 6 months now. I had my first at home in 8 hours on gas and air, and my second at home in 3 hours 40 completely natural. I found the contractions bearable as they’re not constant. The burning sensation… I was that with it last time I thought ‘how would I explain this feeling’ the closest thing I could think of….. Ever had a plaster on for about a week?! Imagine removing it really slowly…. That’s what I thought it felt like?!?!! Any expectant first timers reading this… Good luck, we’re designed to give birth, and unclench your jaw… If your jaw is clenched, so are all your other muscles 😉 xx
I’m so jealous reading this after an unlucky experience first time round in which everything was out of my control after my waters went with no active labour following and I was erroneously given a pessary induction which started the classic “cascade of intervention”. I will cling to the knowledge that it can go your way next time round- a friend who had a similar experience just had her second exactly as she had dreamed she would the first! Whenever it happens, I hope I do too.
Thanks so much for sharing Fern, Elle is such a precious girl and it’s lovely to hear her beautiful arrival story.