Last week I told you all about the induction part of Tayo’s labour and the events leading up to it. Today I talk pushing, gushing and everything in between. You might need a cuppa ready for this one.
So, as I was saying. My Mom called from America. She was on holiday at Disney Land so Mickey and Minnie were keeping her busy but she called whenever she could to check in. I’d had my tablets a few hours before and felt a few minor contractions. It was about 11pm. We were having a good chin wag and I was updating her on the events of the day and then I had a contraction, much more obvious than the previous ones. I said goodbye to my Mom and went for a pee.
I struggled to get back up off the loo. Wowzer. Everything came flooding back to me from Leo’s birth, which is a story I have yet to tell and it’s very different to this one. But the pain of contractions was the same. Woah.
And that was the start of it all. That first big contraction was at about 11:30. I’d really not thought about my labour as daft as that sounds so I just sort of went with it. I wanted to stay active, I didn’t want to lie down, I wanted to be on my feet. So the edge of the bed seemed like a good place to lean. After a few more contractions and some more gas and air I started to be sick. Wonderful. And I can remember that there was just water. Water everywhere. How could there be even more water? I thought I was supposed to have been losing it for the last 6 weeks? Turns out it was my back waters that had ruptured all along. Who even knew there were two waters?!
So I’m leaning over the bed and in comes my midwife. ‘Oh!’ I heard her say. And then boom… massive contraction. She promptly took my knickers off… I’d not even thought about that necessity. And she asked me ‘is it in your bum?’
Erm… sorry, is what in my bum?!
She was trying to ascertain where the pressure was. Quite frankly, it was bloody everywhere. I thought my head, lady parts and well yes, my bum could all explode at any given moment. I remember her saying, just go for it. Push. There was no examination, no-one coaching me to do all that panting breathing you see in the movies, just a midwife on her knees between my legs trying desperately to stay afloat (literally) whilst I slipped around in my waters being held up by my (thankfully) incredibly strong husband. Who by the way deserves major props. He really kept me going and I know I must’ve been killing him the way I was pulling on him.
I think I was just in a bit of a state of shock with the speed of which everything was happening and I remember thinking nope, absolutely not, this can not happen. So I shut my legs. This short conversation followed that decision…
‘Rebecca, you need to open your legs if you’re going to have this baby’. ‘But I just caaaannnnn’tttt’, ‘You can! Stop shouting and get your legs open!’. Oh, I was being quite shouty wasn’t I… Maybe a bit like one of those mums you watch on One Born and you think ‘oh love give it a rest’.
So I took a deep breath and checked myself back into the situation and I started to push. About 12 times or so. And then there he was. Being caught in my midwife’s arms. He arrived at 00:52 on the Saturday morning, less than an hour and a half after my first real contraction.
He was swept away to a table I couldn’t see – I couldn’t move and was waiting for my placenta to be delivered. I couldn’t hear anything either. There seemed to be a ringing in my ears. Where was he, what was going on, was he breathing? Where’s this bloody placenta? And then Anthony appeared around the opposite side of the bed with a bundle of sheets and a tiny face poking through.
And then they were gone.
Tayo had to be taken to the NICU because he was grunting which is a sign of baby maybe needing additional oxygen support or maybe infection, or maybe a multitude of things. Either way it was something I was prepared for because the staff had told us all along that there was a high chance he would need some assistance to start with. That is a whole other post in itself. I shouted to Anthony to stay with him and not leave his side for one second. If I couldn’t be with him I needed to know his Daddy was there by his side every step of the way.
So there’s me and my midwife and my no show of a placenta. Where the heck was it? My midwife asked me to get up onto the bed which is no mean feet when you’ve got a clamp hanging from your fufu let me tell you. She had a good look and gave it a couple of tugs and nothing happened and thankfully, it wasn’t at all painful… perhaps I was numb from having just pushed a whole head out of my body. I mean – as if we are capable of doing that?!
So off the lovely and somewhat soaked and disheveled midwife goes to return with, you guessed it, pretty eye doctor. This time with no mask. Turns out her whole face was pretty. Anyway, she examined me and then they came, the eyes. She got me again, dead on and said ‘Becky, your placenta is stuck. I believe it has fused to your uterus. If I pull it anymore and it ruptures, you will lose a lot of blood and that could be fatal.’
What. The…?!
She then explained that I would immediately need to go to theatre to have it removed. In a blur of forms I signed away my uterus in case they couldn’t detach the placenta and I had to have a hysterectomy. I was prepped for a spinal. After giving birth naturally I then had to be partially paralyzed for the procedure to take place. Great. I couldn’t believe it.
So off to theatre I went. No idea what was happening with my baby but I knew Anthony was there and so I had to just hold on to that and have faith that he would be ok and they could give him whatever medical attention it was that he needed.
Just over two hours later I was in the recovery ward. Shaking from my spinal and in a bit of a daze. It had now been just over 3 hours since I delivered. Where was my baby? I managed to stop shaking enough to actually talk and I asked the midwife to riffle through my bag and find my phone. I couldn’t visit the NICU until I was able to sit in a wheelchair… For obvious reasons they can’t be wheeling big hospital beds around the unit. I managed to call Anthony; could he tell me how heavy he was? What time was he born? Whats happening? Can he breathe? and I got him to send me a photo. My little baby. Sleeping on his tummy, wires and all. But I was SO happy to see his beautiful face.
An hour and a half later I was in the wheel chair on my way round to see him.
I thought I’d cry. For a multitude of reasons really. He was our rainbow baby who I wanted so badly. It had been a stressful 6 weeks but he was finally here and safe. He looked tiny with all his wires and tubes. But I didn’t cry. I just looked. And looked and looked. I was so in love, there was no need for all the tears.
Three days later he was out of NICU and onto the transitional care ward which was tough. I was feeling quite poorly and so I got my own room which was a God send but it didn’t help my poorly feeling. The day after he came out of NICU I started with a headache. I used to suffer from migraines so I’m fairly familiar with a bad head but this was something else. To the point where I couldn’t care for Tayo and when Anthony couldn’t be present the midwives had to play Mum for me. It was heartbreaking. After a few assessments and the prescription of a few extremely strong Painkillers things were still no better. But there was nothing apparently ‘wrong’ with me. I knew exactly what I needed. And that was to be out of the hospital. After two solid weeks of being in there I had had enough. No amount of walks around the car park were going to cure me. But we couldn’t leave because Tayo was still jaundiced. My head aches continued. But on day 5 at around 9:30pm, we were discharged.
I walked through my front door with my three boys in tow and my head instantly cleared. We made it.
What happened to Tayo once he arrived is still a little bit unclear. Anthony told me everything he could and I asked questions but being in a daze you don’t always remember everything. My Health Visitor told me that at any point if I wanted to go back to the hospital, a midwife would get out all my records and walk me through everything that happened step by step. And that I can do that at any point wether that’s today, tomorrow or in a year. I just wanted to briefly mention that in case any of you find yourselves a bit forgetful or unclear as to what happened during and after your labours, especially if it was traumatic. Apparently going through everything can be really helpful.
Very rarely cry, even over emotional stories but dammit Becky you’ve got me today! It just sounds so tough. So tough. And scary. The forms, the fear, the silence. I’m so so glad you all got home together but so sorry this all happened. You are one brave woman x
It’s funny isn’t it Lucy. When I read back it does sound all a bit traumatic and scary but in the moment we just crack on don’t we? I think it takes so much mental focus to get through a labour that you put yourself into some sort of zone where what needs to be done just gets done. Sorry about the crying xx
Wow what an incredible story. I was also induced with my 2nd and had a very quick labour. My baby was also making funny noises post delivery but recovered very quickly.
The stuck placenta sounds terrifying, I had a big haemorrhage with my first and was so scared of it v happening again. So glad you and your boys are all fine, they are both absolutely gorgeous (2 boys here too and I love it)
Kathryn that happened to my sister in law and I think it has put the fear of god into her if they were to ever have a second. I;m so glad that your second little boy was able to recover so quickly… What a good little egg 🙂 x
Here I am with my cup of coffee and tears in my eyes. I did laugh at the shutting your legs bit though…so something I would do. What a stressful start to Tayo’s life, you’ve done so well at all stages. Really pleased that everything is as it should be now.
Haha Kat! I think I did feel a bit of a wally but it was really funny when I look back now.Thanks so much for your lovely words xx
Bloody hell, what a rollercoaster. I think I felt every emotion reading that! Hats off to you Becky, you’re an absolute legend.
Holy moly, Becky! I rarely comment on here because with no children myself I have very little to say…But on this occasion, I have to say, you are a total HERO. Well done, mama. I hope the boys know how lucky they are to have you x
Alice! What a lovely thing to say. I feel so lucky to have them! x
Oh my Becky what a rollercoaster of emotions! I follow you on insta and you have such a beautiful family but it’s refreshing to hear the stories behind the photos and I hope any expectant mums can take away from your tale that no birth is the same or straightforward but as long as everyone is ok in the end. I don’t know how you coped in hospital for so long I think I would have lost my mind. Big hugs to you all, especially your gorgeous boys xx
Thanks Claire. That’s all I could focus on… Get Tayo seen to make sure he’s ok and then get myself through whatever was to come. Thankfully everything worked out so well for us all. I’m just so grateful for all our wonderful NHS staff. x
Becky. I did not think part 2 of your story would be so traumatic! This post should have come with a warning, as I am sitting at my desk trying not to cry.
Sounds like you had an awful time but at least everything came good in the end. And Tayo’s tiny face is gorgeous! x
Aawwww Tracy! His tiny face isn’t so tiny any more 🙂 But I still think it’s quite gorgeous. Thanks so much for leaving a comment xx
Becky I completely read this with your actual voice, I laughed and I cried a bit too, goodness gracious lady you are hardcore – what a traumatic experience it must have been, I can’t even begin to imagine. Your boys are so lucky to have you, and I’m so glad you are now all healthy and well xxx
You’ve got me too, I was almost crying into my cornflakes! I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to be separated from your baby and to have to go through the placenta drama without your family by your side, you’re a super strong lady. Love your posts and your instastories!
Suzy I remember the lady who was with me as they sorted my spinal. God she was marvellous. I only wish I knew her name. She held my hand through the entire thing, talking to me about Leo and asking me what we were going to name Tayo and just lovely conversation. For two hours she held my hand. It was so comforting to just have someone there by my side even thought
I didn’t even know her name.
Blubbering wreck over here. Brings back all the emotions of labour. I had an induction and retained placenta with my first baby and it was hours before I got to properly see her and it was all a bit stressful. I lost a lot of blood and couldn’t really remember much of my labour either (partly due to diamorphine I think). One of the midwives came up to the ward and went through my notes with me a couple of days later which really helped me to understand what had gone on.
It was only when I had my second and I had no time for drugs that I actually knew exactly what was happening and exactly when I needed to push etc and yes, it was definitely ‘in my bum’, lol! Oh the glamour 😉
Nikki isn’t it funny, until you open up about these things you don’t realise how many other women have been through the same. I didn’t even know you could ‘retain’ your placenta! And yes, SO glamorous! x
Becks you were right; your post did make me laugh (you totally nailed the woman on the edge humour) but you made me cry too. I can’t even begin to imagine the journey you went through and the endurance you had to get to the end; I would have been OUT OF MY MIND with worry. It’s a testament to your own strength and to the solidness (is that even a word?) of yours and Anthony’s relationship that you knew you could just get through the operation solo and that Anthony had totally got Tayo’s back. Imagining myself in the same scenario is making me feel all tearful and wobbly. But you’re well now, your boys are beautiful and I will always treasure the cuddles I had with Tayo at the Christmas party (he’s such a happy little soul) so all is good with the world. Thanks for sharing doll xxx
Lolly the main thing I got from Becky’s words is what an incredible team her and Anthony make! SO much love for the Sappor family – you are all amazing xxxxx
I don’t think I took a breath the whole time reading that, Becky. I totally relate to NEEDING to get out of the hospital. So glad you’re all healthy and happy now!
I just knew I needed my sofa, my bed and my boys (and to see my dog too!). x
Another one blubbing at their desk here! So glad all worked out well in the end but my God how traumatic for you!!
He’s absoultely gorgeous though – huge congratulations! xx
All the emotions this morning Becky! I know we have talked about the experience but reading about it is so moving. It brought back so many memories of my own labours and randomly actually happy memories (does that sound odd?!). Having been induced both times I know how super speedy it is and the whole having your baby taken to Neo Natal is so traumatic. You are one supermum being able to go off for that operation on your own. So much respect. And now you get all the cuddles with your three boys. xxx
Becky you are so strong and should be so proud of yourself – you have two beautiful boys, and as a mama of a 4 month old little boy I know what that love is like. My labour and birth was no where near as traumatic, but enough for me to want to do the ‘Birth Afterthoughts’ which is as you say they run through your notes and the decisions. Not booked it yet but you have inspired me to get on with it xx
Ah congratulations on your new arrival! I still haven’t booked either and I don’t really know why. I think I definitely will though. x
Oh Becky, what a story and a complete tear jerker but also just wow- you’re such a strong lady! Love following you on IG and your boys are gorgeous. Can completely relate to the ill hospital feeling as had to stay a week after my first was born and just felt awful. Still remember the feeling of complete bliss getting home, sitting on my sofa, husband lighting the fire, catching up with downtown whilst snuggling my tiny baby boy. Although did have excellent care from midwives whilst in hospital just no place like home is there xx
There really isn’t Ella. I can remember literally feeling the headache disappear as soon as i got through my front door.
Wow hats off to you, Becky! You certainly have been through quite a bit! And how great you did it! Fast labours like yours are never good for the women, since they feel like they lose control (which they Kind of do…). I am so glad how it all turned out in the end and that you are both well!
Thanks so much Anja! x
Becky you write so eloquently about such an emotional event! Congratulations on the gorgeous addition to your family! E had a very similar start to Tayo, unexpected breathing difficulties after a relatively quick, uncomplicated labour which were not fully explained. As doctors it was everything we had been terrified of but thankfully she recovered quickly. It was the most surreal experience her being rushed to NICU, sending my husband with her and making shocked small talk with the poor guy doing my stitches. I knew I would break down if I stopped talking and just wanted to get to E as soon as possible! It was a traumatic start but the second I saw her in the incubator I felt overwhelming love and knew it would be ok! The only time I had a proper cry was hearing the noise she made when she had her lumbar puncture, heartbreaking! The experience taught me I’m a terrible patient, spent the week going a bit stir crazy and desperate to escape! The staff on NICU and postnatal were incredible which really helped and like you we were lucky to have a side room they let my husband stay in too! Poor man slept in a chair for 6 nights! Thank you for sharing your story x
I bet there is no place in the world he would rather have been though. I think everything about it is surreal, I mentioned in reply to Lucy’s comment that I think you put yourself in some sort of zone when giving birth and I think you stay in that state for a little while.x
You absolute hero, Becky. ??? What an amazing, incredible story, thank you so much for sharing it. Lucky Leo and Tayo to have such amazing parents, and I’m so glad your migraines lifted once you were back home.
We are going back to my hospital on Tuesday to go through what happened at my son’s birth. I’m really bricking it but I think it’s so important for me to be able to relive it and take away what I need to for my next birth.
Oh Kate I’m so glad to hear you’re going to go through your notes. Will you let me know how it goes and if you feel you got what you needed from it? I think the reason I haven’t booked is I’m a little apprehensive about the whole thing. A bit nervous maybe and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels that way about it. x
I know exactly how you feel Becky. My NCT friends had all done theirs before our bubs were six months but mine will be nearly 11 months because, honestly, it was all too fresh! I feel like I’ve been a mum for long enough now to be able to deal with reliving the birth (which was also a bit dramatic, incl discovering I have an allergy to penicillin after being given it through an IV to treat an infection. In labour for 25 hours with a massively swollen face and weird spots on my side – every girls dream! ?).
Will def let you know how it goes!xx
Becky, your story really resonates with me. I leaked fluid which led to me being induced. The pills didn’t do much for me but once they broke my waters the whole labour took 2hrs 10 mins. In the end my little rainbow baby was born in the toilet (I was on my own – hubs had gone to get help) as I waited for a bed. Unlike you post labour was straightforward for us. Your post had me in tears but I am so glad it had a happy ending for your whole family ❤️❤️. Congratulations!!! Xx
Oh wow Kate!!! I just think that is the most incredible thing; to birth your own baby in the loo! Amazing. x
Woah, hats off to you Mrs! Sitting in bed nursing my 11 week old with tears eyes. Brings it all back and makes me even more grateful for my very straightforward water birth with no complications- I am very aware how different my experience could have been. But as you say- you just get on with it, you have to! Thanks for sharing. Helen xx
Aawww Helen, congratulations. Get in all those baby cuddles whilst you can xxx
I’m amazed at your strength, it really is incredible what we put ourselves through and how we deal with things. You sending Anthony to NICU made me smile, and then going to the operation on your own, wowzers!! I’m glad to hear everything went well when you finally got home. I spent 5 days in hospital after the birth, which I actually quite enjoyed (the security of the support, rather than actually being on the ward!!) but my husband and MIL were not quite so pleased with sleeping on the floor… I keep thinking my husband would write a great post about it all (no NICU dramas or anything like that, just feeding issues and jaundice but the poor man was trying to coordinate kitchen fitters as I was in labour as we were mid-renovations!), but I never got round to it. Congratulations again!!
Crying, laughing, crying, crying, open mouthed horror, crying… WHAT are you doing to me????
Huge love you amazing warrior xxx
What an emotional roller coaster of a story! No idea how you survived 2 weeks in hospital with your wee boy at home, that must have been so hard. I had a retained placenta too, and then so did my sister 10 months later (although apparently there’s no genetic reason). I can totally relate to having to sign those forms and move beds with that “clamp hanging from your fufu” not being pleasant! I’m very hazy about the whole thing, I know I signed a consent but I don’t remember them saying anything about a hysterectomy which is quite scary. I found the whole thing very traumatic and I then had PND so it’s been mentioned to me about reviewing my notes before so it might be something worth doing, although I feel similar to you in that I’m quite apprehensive about it. Might need to just bite the bullet though as we’re hoping to try for a second later this year and if we’re lucky enough to fall pregnant again I’d like to be more prepared next time around!
Tayo is gorgeous, congrats! I had the same op for retained placenta after my first labour. I was whisked away to theatre after the briefest cuddle with her and they left my shellshocked husband in the delivery room just holding the baby on his own for 90mins! Unlike you, the staff were talking over me during the op, not to me. It was a very odd, traumatic experience. But a kind midwife did read through my notes with me before discharge, which I found very helpful. And I thankfully didn’t have a retained placenta with my 2nd labour. In fact, it actually took longer to deliver the placenta than the baby! Hope Leo is enjoying being a big brother. My daughter found it very hard for the first 6 months or so! Best of luckx
Oh Becky! What a story! Loved reading both parts. So happy everything turned out ok for you and your gorgeous boys and isn’t it amazing you just *knew* your headache would go once you were back home.
I also had a stuck placenta, needed to sign forms and have a spinal…I remember it being so stressful after a relatively straightforward delivery. I didn’t know it was a thing either!! The anethetist was so lovely but I just cried on the surgery table as I was really scared ? Luckily I had my husband and baby right by the bed so I could focus on them. Been told it’s highly likely to happen again with a second baby so will go straight for an epidural next time!!
Thank you so much for sharing Becky.
In a similar situation re reviewing the notes from my first labour ending in emergency c section. I’ve been putting it off but now I’m expecting number two I really feel I want to go over them, particularly now we’re having to decide between whether to have another section or try for a VBAC. Although it was horrible and not as planned I’ve heard of worse labour stories than mine but still For about 6 months everytime I dove past the hospital i burst into tears.
(Are there any VBAC birth stories in the archives I could have a read through? Or an idea for future post if there aren’t maybe?)
Hi Cat. There aren’t any in the archives unfortunately but I’m working on getting one for you as we speak. Xx
May have got slightly choked up over breakfast (yes, I haven’t had time to comment until now!). Can’t believe how much you had to cope with, absolutely heroic!
Wow. All the emotions over here! Reading your post birth placenta nightmare hit a nerve- the exact same thing happened to me (cue vivid memory of a woman, one leg up on the bed trying to yank it out ‘enormous turnip’ style). You were so right when you said at the time you just get on with it. I swore I’d never have another… then I fell pregnant and literally shat myself (which coincidentally I haven’t done since recovering from the spinal). Thank you so much for sharing your story- it reminds me that other women have been through the same and come out the other side. Just need to get this one out now! x
Wow, what a story and how incredibly brave both you and Anthony were. I love following you on Instagram and seeing your gorgeous family, so it was really nice to hear the full story from you! X
Ah the retained placenta. I hadn’t even been warned of this. My waters went but I didn’t go into labour so I had to be induced with the hormone drip so my visions of a water birth or even just an active birth went out the window! I had asked for ‘natural passing of the placenta’, ha ha. Natural passing came and went, the injection followed, still wouldn’t budge. Midwife and doctor tugging for an hour. Still not coming out so off to theatre I went, it took 4 surgeons to heave ho on my stomach for it to appear.
When they looked at it, it was very calcified which indicated it was starting to pack up, so I’m very grateful I wasn’t left to go overdue!
Being in hospital that long must have been awful, I bet you COULD NOT WAIT to get home with your lovely boys x
Will be interested to know if you talk through your delivery! I had a traumatic pregnancy and birth – starting with 2 trips to hospital in an ambulance with massive blood loss at 22 and 23 weeks, before being admitted at 23 weeks until I delivered (which I was told could be any moment if I bled too much!). I had placenta previa and placenta acreta. I basically had huge blood loss every 3 days or so and was taken to delivery suite to possibly deliver my premature baby! Every day longer in my pregnancy was a small victory! I had a 2 year old at home I was missing terribly, and had my lovely husband and a variety of long distance family (including mum-in-law flying over from NZ!) and friends supporting me. The first ‘visit’ to see NICU at 23 weeks and 6 days to prepare ourselves for what lay ahead was really difficult. Anyway, fast forward a stressful 9 weeks and at 32 weeks and a day I had the bleed that meant the Drs decided we were going to deliver. Going down to theatre knowing that one or other of us might not survive the delivery was very stressful but my team of doctors, midwives and anaesthetists were amazing. 8 hours after being put under anaesthetic I woke up on ICU to find out our little girl had been resuscitated for 5 minutes but had made it, and that I’d received 14 units of blood and had been very poorly but thanks to the skills of the surgeons I’d made it too! I wasn’t well enough to see our little girl for 36 hours, which was horrible and the next 4 weeks were tough for me recovering and her being on NICU but after 4 weeks, and 4 weeks before her due date we all went home and began life as a family of 4! I feel so lucky and blessed and don’t have much time to think about it all (it’s 7 months ago now) but I do wonder if I should talk it all through with someone – the offer is there!
Michelle, what a traumatic experience! You should be very proud of yourself and your daughter for surviving that. I would honestly recommend going to talk through it with someone… the medical run down, but also maybe counselling? I had counselling when Ethan was about 6 months old and it turned out a lot of what I was feeling was stemming from the birth experience. Best thing I ever did.
Becky I read this for approx 10 seconds yesterday in work, then had to put my phone down because I knew there was no escaping a read without panda eyes.
It’s now the next day and I was right! True, real tears and I haven’t even had breakfast yet. Ethan was whisked off to NICU after he was born too, so I can totally relate to the desperation to see him (and the stern words with the husband to not. leave. his. side.). I don’t know if you’re the same, but I still sometimes feel guilt and mourning about those missed first hours (even though i knew they were a medical necessity). You are a total hero going through all that time in hospital!!
As for Tayo… Can you stop (read: never stop) putting pictures of him on Insta?! I can’t deal with how cute he is.
You are actually Wonder Woman! Real life Wonder Woman! Like Charlotte, I read this with your voice in my head and could totally hear you saying these words. The ‘fufu’ line… classic Becky! But then it makes it even harder to read the sad parts as I know it’s so real, what an ‘effin ridiculously scary time! Thank bloody god everything turned out so perfect, the second you left that hospital! Big up the Sappors! #cutestfamilyever xxxxxxxx