If you read our previous posts you will know that Charlotte, Lolly and Fern all struggled with breastfeeding for different reasons. I was always quite realistic about the topic of breastfeeding. I wanted to try and was hopeful I could but knew that if I couldn’t then that was fine too.
I guess I was lucky. Breastfeeding came easily to me and both my girls flourished. Although I breastfed both girls there were differences in my experiences and feelings towards it so I’ll save one story for another day. You lucky things!
Establishing Breastfeeding
Unfortunately I didn’t get to feed Molly for the first few days of her life as she was taken away to Neo Natal due to problems with her lungs and was on a drip for her food. Molly wasn’t allowed to have the milk but I was encouraged to express when I could.
After a day and a half on the drip I was told I could go to Neo Natal to feed Molly myself. I took her out the incubator and she latched on straight away. But my gosh, THE PAIN. I had heard that it could be painful but that was minimal compared to the intense stomach cramps I experienced. To the extent that I actually threw up. I’m sat in Neo Natal with a teeny baby, throwing up in to a bowl, shaking and sweating. I swear it was worse than contractions. This happened the next few times I few her and I couldn’t quite get over my reaction to the feeding. Surely this couldn’t be normal?
I asked the midwives why and apparently when you first breastfeed it contracts your uterus back down. All perfectly normal but it should only be mild cramps. Turns out my uterus was contracting down at a stonking rate. When I left hospital after three days my uterus was fully contracted back. Something that apparently normally takes a few weeks so perhaps the pain was worth it!
Luckily Molly was discharged from Neo Natal after 3 days, the little trooper, and we were allowed home. The breastfeeding continued well and within a week of being home she had gained nearly 1lb. Greedy guts. Or perhaps I was eating too many choccy biscuits which were fattening up the milk!
For me breastfeeding was easy from then on. I loved the fact that when she woke in the night I didn’t have to faff around with sterilisers and during the day it was a source of comfort to her. Although breastfeeding came quite naturally to me there was a lot that I learned and I thought it might be worth sharing some of my experiences.
Thirsty Work
Be prepared to feed, a lot. At times Molly would feed on and off for most of the day. Often probably just for comfort. Get yourself a little nest on the sofa with water, snacks, the remote and a book. Plus lots of comfy cushions.
You will get VERY thirsty. I drank pints and pints of water whilst feeding so make sure you have lots of water nearby.
There will be times when you don’t think you can’t feed them any more. Molly once fed almost continuously from 5pm to 2am. I was beyond exhausted and this was the one time I had a melt down. I sat on the landing and cried for 2 minutes then went back and carried on feeding her. There was nothing else I could do.
Breastfeeding doesn’t always make you loose weight despite what you are told. It does as I mentioned above contract your stomach back down. However, I was thinner the week after I gave birth than I was 3 months later. I think I’d gone from a busy job to just sitting and feeding a baby and eating a lot more.
Bottles
I tried to give Molly one bottle a day from the start. I know this isn’t recommended but my mum said it to would get her used to having one should we need. Given that my mum has raised four kids and used to be an NCT breastfeeding counsellor I was happy to trust her judgement. And I always have on everything else. Turns out she’s mostly right. This would have been great except Molly would never take it until 4 months. Apart from randomly if my brother-in-law gave it to her! Go figure. She would just scream and I couldn’t bare to force her to have something she didn’t want so would just feed her myself. I did persevere though and from 4 months Molly was in more of a routine with her feeds so I slowly started swapping in one bottle at different feed times. By 6 months I was only doing her last feed of the day.
Mastitis
I also got Mastitis. Probably a whole other post on its own. The first time I just thought I had flu until my mum (yep, she knows everything!) packed me off to the doctors for antibiotics. It is beyond painful and you feel awful. I got it twice. Once at four months and once at five and a half months. I will admit that the second time reinforced my decision to stop feeding Molly at six months as I couldn’t face going through it again.
Your Feelings
You don’t have to necessarily enjoy it and there’s nothing wrong with that. I didn’t dislike feeding Molly but I can’t say I loved it. I know many people feel differently and love the bond with their baby. Although I know it is the most natural thing in the world I still found it a bit strange that I was feeding a small person from my body. Your feelings are your own so don’t worry about it. I was also still quite unsure of feeding in public. I was not an earth mother who was happy to sit and feed wherever and whenever but I will say that this changed when it came to feeding Alice.
As great as breastfeeding is I did sometimes find it quite hard. It was all on me to look after this teeny person and therefore couldn’t really go anywhere on my own. I remember trying to just nip to the supermarket (you know, because I needed 5 minutes on my own!) only to have my husband call me when I’d reached the end of the road as Molly was screaming. I’d only just fed her but seems I was the only one who could stop her crying.
Expressing is a strange thing. I know a lot of people struggle with expressing and although I didn’t I often felt like a cow being milked! As I said, this is purely my feelings about it. One tip here though is to go for an electric pump if you can. It’s so much easier.
That is something else I can’t stress enough. Feed for as short or long a time period as you want. It’s your choice. By six months Molly was quite big and was not that interested in feeding. She would rather turn her head and look around or pull off and laugh at me. When she was having a bottle she could happily sit and look around so I took the decision to switch to purely bottles. I wasn’t really sad. Perhaps a bit more nostalgic that those early teeny baby days had passed.
I am glad I breastfed and did the same for Alice. It worked for me and I found it an easy thing to do for my girls. However, had it been different I wouldn’t have worried or beaten myself up. You can only do your best and believe me that is more than good enough for your baby.
As usual please do share your experiences and feelings.
Image by Divine Day Photography.
Lovely to hear it was relatively easy for you Lottie! My breastfeeding journey was somewhat different though. I always said – like you – that I’d never beat myself up if breastfeeding didn’t work out, but when it came to it I couldn’t help but feel incredibly guilty and sad that I wasn’t going to be able to. There were multiple reasons why I couldn’t and I persevered for 5 days with a screaming agitated baby until I finally gave up after spending 24hours straight sobbing and a midwife saying ‘enough! Enjoy your baby’. I too wasn’t able to try breastfeeding until a while after birth, combined with flat nipples (who knew this was a thing?!) and little to no milk supply it was all a complete disaster. She took to bottles like a dream and since then have come to terms with it and know it was the best decision for us. It really did surprise me though how very guilty I felt for ‘failing’ (as you can be made to feel) at this first hurdle of being a mum! I know now that it really was the best thing we did as we have a happy healthy 3 month old who is just perfect! So no regrets at all from us!
This won’t stop me from trying it again though if we are lucky enough to have another! Xxx
Hi Ami, thank you so much for sharing. Never ever ever beat yourself up. I know it’s hard not but having a happy baby (and happy mum) is so much more important. If you read the other breastfeeding stories we have shared you will know that so many others have had a tough time too. It’s funny as I would have loved for Molly to have had at least one bottle a day but she was the opposite and hated it! I have friends who couldn’t feed their first baby but had no problems with their second. Enjoy your little one xx
Oh this is such a well-timed post for me. I’m currently breast feeding my 3 week old son on demand and although I’m so pleased that I’m managing it, i find it exhausting doing it so often. I’m the sort of person who likes routine and being in control, so having to feed him so often and not knowing when he’ll want it, is tough. I wasn’t able to BF my eldest (she was also in NICU for a few days and was so teeny that she didn’t have the strength to latch on so I exclusively expressed for three long hard months! So I agree with how BF is so much more convenient)
I completely agree with the advice that if you are unable to breast feed then don’t beat yourself up- being a mum is really hard sometimes (as well as totally awesome, obv) so don’t give in to any pressure to BF- do what feels right for you.
A great post, thank you x
The lack of routine is hard isn’t it? I had friends who had either chosen to bottle feed or couldn’t breastfeed for many reasons and they always had their babies in a routine so quickly. I was very jealous and felt like I was sending my whole day feeding. It does get easier I promise and from around 12 weeks both my girls got in to set routines without me doing anything. It just kind of happened and suddenly everything was a lot better. That said they’d still have a growth spurt and it would all go to pot again but in the main you will find that those first few teeny months and hard work go rather quickly. xx
Great post Lottie! I’m currently exclusively breastfeeding my 3 month old and enjoy it the majority of the time! Just had a week of hourly waking at night to feed and it can feel overwhelming sometimes. I’ve left her with my husband twice for short periods (after careful feeding to sleep) and she has screamed the house down both times! We had a difficult start too with her on NICU to begin with but we managed to get the hang of it pretty quickly after the first 48 hours. Completely agree with needing to drink loads! I found having a sports bottle with me really helpful as balancing a drink with a feeding infant is not easy! Barely any of my pre pregnancy clothes are breast feeding friendly, can’t wait to be able to wear a dress without buttons! x
Well done on getting this far exclusively Charlotte. That’s great going and not an easy feat when you’ve had a tough start. Glad it wasn’t just me that couldn’t go anywhere. It’s as if they know the moment you have stepped out the house! I quickly learnt that a sports bottle was the way forward after dripping numerous pints of water on Molly’s head. It’s just not easy to balance baby and drink easily. We have a post coming up soon on nursing clothes so hopefully can provide a bit of inspiration for everyone. xxx
For the record – I believe 100% that a happy mummy is a happy baby and breastfeeding is not for everyone. But I have to say I absolutely love it.
It did not come easily though. For both my babies I had to initially express into a cup and syringe feed them colostrum, as they just didn’t get the hang of the latch until about Day 3. Luckily I had lots of support and we got there in the end.
I love being able to feed them wherever we are and not have to be organised with bottles and I love when my baby looks up and me and gives a heart warming big grin. That said I’m now mix feeding as it’s just more practical. My baby is 5 months and gets 2 bottles a day.
If you want your baby to take a bottle i definitely recommend giving them 1 per day from about 3 weeks. Every day. You have to be consistent even if they just take 1oz. It’s a totally different suck mechanism and they need to learn it and practice. Good luck everyone X
Oh gosh, I too had to do the syringe thing! It felt a lot of work for so little!
I’m completely with you on the bottles. I tried my best but Molly used to scream so much I felt awful and gave up which probably didn’t help as she knew she could get round mummy! They are little monkeys aren’t they?! x
Like you first time around I had a neonatal Son who spent 10 days in SCBU. We lost that initial bond but also with being born nearly a month early too, he was just a little weakling! So after being tube fed for over a week, he then just didn’t entertain the boob! I was desperate to breastfeed, especially after his struggle in the first week, but expressing in hospital is what I became used to. There was a huge amount of pressure for him to latch before they would let him leave hospital and with the aid of a nipple shield we did have a few successes, so off we went.
We got home and it all went wrong… I had lots of community support but nothing was enjoyable about watching him scream and push away from his mamma. So whilst we tried to overcome these hurdles I carried on expressing… Never did I then think I would go on to express for 6 months! But I did!! I used to take a poncho and a freezer bag out with me and express in the car when I was out and about. I guess I felt the pressure to do it and to keep feeding him my milk.
I got to 6 months and decided to stop. With weaning starting etc, I didn’t feel so guilty to switch to formula as he was about to have all kinds of different things put in his mouth.
It wasn’t until I stopped that I realised how much the whole thing had dragged me down. I felt like a huge weight has been lifted and suddenly started to really enjoy being a mam! I knew that if I had any more children and they couldn’t latch that there was no way I would let myself feel any remote guilt! Sonny made such little reaction to switching, I wish I had changed sooner.
I went on to having my second Son on Christmas Eve last year, and within minutes he latched which was magic! I’ve enjoyed feeding so much, much more than I ever thought I would. I have a Breast feeding cover that I wear in public so I feel discreet and happy to do so in public. I plan to do it for 6 months to give Cooper the same start that I gave Sonny. However with a hen do coming up in May I’m sat every evening trying to pump some excess off to freeze it for an event that’s 7 weeks away!!! (This is the bad side of feeding and borderline ridiculous!!!)
It just shows, it’s certainly not your choice to feed or not, it depends on your little one and the situation you find yourself in. I’m so glad that after first time around Ive now experienced a successful journey with my second Son 🙂
Hi Ebony, thank you so much for sharing your story. You did amazingly well. I will admit that I probably would have given up after those initial few weeks as I didn’t really like expressing so I’m so impressed with you. As you said you should never feel guilty but I know I did when I was trying to make Molly have a bottle as she hated it. Then I felt guilty when she did as I wondered about the formula. It never ends! I was exactly the same as you in that I felt that I should do exactly the same for Alice as I did for Molly! Always like to keep it equal! xx
Good to hear your experience Lottie and pleased it was positive.
I’m breastfeeding six-week-old Margot and have found the experience to be a complete rollercoaster. Things have settled down now but there were several points in the first two/three weeks when I nearly gave up due to the pain – both the intense uterus contractions as you mention and blistered and bleeding nipples (TMI?!). My toes would curl each time she latched on and I dreaded every feeding time… I was crying from pain whilst she was crying from hunger. It was hell.
I couldn’t take any more on the third night and used our emergency bottle of formula, which she dramatically brought back up and commenced the screaming. So back to the breast it was.
Friends kept telling me just to get through the first two weeks and the pain would ease, and their coaching kept me going.
I found it frustrating that the midwives and NCT support said it shouldn’t hurt (providing the latch was correct) yet our latch was checked several times and found to be fine, yet the nipple pain was horrendous. One midwife mentioned that fair skinned ladies often have more senstive nipples so perhaps that was to blame (how many times can I say nipple in this comment?!).
All I can say is thank god for Lanolin – that cream is magical.
I find the feeding on demand quite relentless but can’t see how we can make her wait for a specific time to get into a routine yet.
I now express every morning to get one feeds worth of milk, so my husband can bottle feed her for a bit of evening bonding time (and I get some sleep) or to freeze and save to give her when I fancy a glass of wine.
Yes the message given to expectant and new mums is that it’s the most natural thing and I’m sure it is for many, yet I found it to be anything but and I think woman need to be made more prepared for this possibility. I’m glad i perservered but strongly believe that no mum should feel guilty for opting for formula instead – that time is hard enough without the potential trauma of establishing breastfeeding, and you just have to do what’s right for you and your baby.
Wow just realised what an essay that was, sorry!
Don’t worry, we love an essay! Sounds like you did amazingly well to persevere. I probably would have given up if I had had the nipple issues! Don’t worry about a routine yet, she’s still tiny. I probably didn’t get the girls in to a routine till closer to 12 weeks. And that wasn’t a forced routine, just something they fell in to naturally. Like you say, you can’t make them wait for food and often breastfed babies just do it for comfort so it can often be that they aren’t hungry at all anyway. It will start to settle in to a pattern and you will suddenly notice the difference. Also, amazing tip on the wine drinking! Why did I not think of that?!! xx
Why do they continue to say it shouldnt hurt if you are doing it right! Annie latched on right away and we were lucky to have a straightforward journey but it hurt for the first at least 2 weeks and everyone I know said the same!!
My first baby is due in 6 weeks and I do plan to breastfeed. I love reading all your breastfeeding experiences – good, bad and ugly! Thank you all for sharing. It is really good to read real accounts of all experiences as it takes the pressure of new mums (or soon to be mums!) and also sets a more realistic expectation that yes breastfeeding is natural but that doesn’t mean it always comes naturally for all mamas and bubbas. So thank you again x
So glad we can help a little bit Sophie. It is great that amongst the team we have all had such different experiences and we have all found our own way in the end. You will definitely find what works for you. Good luck when baby arrives. xxx
Hi Lottie
I didn’t breastfeed my first born at all. I had no confidence or support whatsover but now have lots and lots of guilt and anguish over how clueless I was. My little boy is of course very healthy and happy regardless, but now I’m wondering if I was to have another how I would fit in the relentless feeding with a preschooler to look after? Is it very hard making that time to sit on the sofa and feed on demand for months on end? Especially if you’re ‘learning’? I’m quite worried about it but would love to try and breastfeed next if I’m lucky enough to have another.
Don’t be worried Sarah. I thought the same when I was expecting Alice but I couldn’t believe how quick a feeder she was and quite a few friends have said the same. I’m not sure if it is because you know you don’t have time to sit but compared to Molly’s hours on end Alice was 10 to 20 minutes. Unfortunately I still ended up sitting with her because she was a nightmare sleeper. Unfortunately Molly had to watch a lot of Disney films and I couldn’t play with her much but it only lasted such a few short months (although it didn’t feel it at the time). It’s worth a try or do combination feeding so sometimes breastfeeding and sometimes bottle fed. It gives you a bit more freedom if you can do it. Hopefully you will get better support this time but whatever you decide will be right for your littles. Good luck xx
Thanks very much Lottie
Great post, I think it is wonderful to share everyone’s different experiences. I too had to hand express my colostrum into a syringe every 3 hours, which took an hour to do and then about an hour to feed my baby. I was so exhausted looking back on not sure how I made it through!! I had to express all my milk for about 3 weeks as my baby just wouldn’t latch – she was just over 3 weeks early, and didn’t seem to have the natural sucking reflex but I was so determined to feed her breast milk and I cried so often wondering whether I was doing the right thing, how I could help her and wondering if she would ever learn. And one day she just got it!! I was so relieved! Turns out her mouth was just a bit small, in addition to not knowing how to suck to begin with, so once her mouth grew she worked out how to get enough boob into her mouth. I never knew that was a thing!! She is now 5 months and a very happy feeder, although the growth spurts mean I am currently up several times a night again but I express every evening so my husband can give her a bottle. Just starting the weaning process – goodness that is a whole new thing I don’t think I have quite got my head round properly!!
I feel immensely lucky not to have had to use formula beyond one day in hospital when we were made to supplement due to low blood sugar. But I know so many people who have tried breastfeeding and it just didn’t work for them. The guilt they felt is ridiculous and I really wish more people shared honest stories of their experiences to show people they don’t need to feel guilty. A fed and happy baby and a happy mummy is most definitely the most important thing, no matter how this is achieved! X
Thank you so much for sharing Annie and well done for persevering after all that expressing! Weaning isn’t too bad so don’t worry and you will suddenly find the amount of feeds you do will reduce too. If you search for Weaning on the site Fern wrote a really good article a few months back and there are lots of helpful tips from the readers as always. Good luck! x
Thanks Lottie, I will look for the weaning information!!
My first baby is due this week (gulp), and I’m fascinated by all the breastfeeding stories (as well as the labour stories…). Thanks everyone for sharing! I’m trying to be realistic about the whole thing and not put pressure on myself. Hearing how everyone else did really helps as it feels like there are such a range of experiences that everything is normal pretty much. X
Eeeek, exciting! Good luck and as you say don’t put pressure on yourself, everything to do with babies is an unknown! x
I’m really loving all the different stories and experiences from all the different Mums. It’s really great! I’ll hopefully be pregnant come the end of the year so none of this is particularly applicable to me yet…but it’s nice learning from real people and their very real experiences. And the support and advice that everyone here gives is lovely, you hear things about other sites where people get very judgie-wudgie!
I’m looking forward to when I can share my very own experiences with you lovely lot.
Thanks for sharing 😀
I could have written this Lottie! I was so lucky that first time round it came relatively easy but I didn’t love it. Annie was never that cuddly and wasn’t hugely bothered I don’t think. I found expressing so difficult and also felt like a cow – didn’t enjoy that bit at all! I was so pleased to introduce formula at 4.5 months and stop completely at 6 months. I felt like I got my body back and was much happier. Plus my body held onto the weight whilst bf and I felt it much easier to lose it once I stopped! Second time round I’m hoping baby is as good a feeder. I’m not sure I’ll have the patience to persevere if she isn’t!!
Great post x
I know exactly how you felt! I too was quite glad at 6 months to be back to me (and be able to start attempting to lose the weight!). You’ll be fine second time round. Alice was the speediest feeder ever, I wanted to stop earlier with Alice but bizarrely felt I needed to do the 6 months I did for Molly. Keeping it fair and all that! xxx
Not sure if this has been mentioned yet but I too suffered from the pain of baby latching to a nipples that were split, bleeding and bruised. I couldn’t keep going unless they had a chance to heal. My mum bought me nipple shields which I used temporarily until my nipples had the chance to heal before my daughter tried again. The midwives were not supportive but I had no problems and my daughter was happy with or without the shields. I would seriously recommend to any pregnant mama’s…stick them in your bag in-case you need them!! 🙂
Lovely article! I honestly think a lot of breastfeeding success lies in being a bit prepared. It’s a skill, you have to learn it – you wouldn’t for example expect to just get in a car and drive off, it takes practice, it takes someone teaching you the basics, it takes learning the theory and breastfeeding is no different. I think many women think that as breastfeeding is supposed to be ‘natural’, that it should be ‘easy’ and then feel terribly guilty when they encounter problems and feel they can’t carry on. I wrote an article on why humans find breastfeeding particularly difficult and what you can do ante-natally to prepare yourself. http://www.trustyourbaby.co.uk/?cat=64