If you read our previous posts you will know that Charlotte, Lolly and Fern all struggled with breastfeeding for different reasons. I was always quite realistic about the topic of breastfeeding. I wanted to try and was hopeful I could but knew that if I couldn’t then that was fine too.

I guess I was lucky. Breastfeeding came easily to me and both my girls flourished. Although I breastfed both girls there were differences in my experiences and feelings towards it so I’ll save one story for another day. You lucky things!

Establishing Breastfeeding

Unfortunately I didn’t get to feed Molly for the first few days of her life as she was taken away to Neo Natal due to problems with her lungs and was on a drip for her food. Molly wasn’t allowed to have the milk but I was encouraged to express when I could.

After a day and a half on the drip I was told I could go to Neo Natal to feed Molly myself. I took her out the incubator and she latched on straight away. But my gosh, THE PAIN. I had heard that it could be painful but that was minimal compared to the intense stomach cramps I experienced. To the extent that I actually threw up. I’m sat in Neo Natal with a teeny baby, throwing up in to a bowl, shaking and sweating. I swear it was worse than contractions. This happened the next few times I few her and I couldn’t quite get over my reaction to the feeding. Surely this couldn’t be normal?

I asked the midwives why and apparently when you first breastfeed it contracts your uterus back down. All perfectly normal but it should only be mild cramps. Turns out my uterus was contracting down at a stonking rate. When I left hospital after three days my uterus was fully contracted back. Something that apparently normally takes a few weeks so perhaps the pain was worth it!

Luckily Molly was discharged from Neo Natal after 3 days, the little trooper, and we were allowed home. The breastfeeding continued well and within a week of being home she had gained nearly 1lb. Greedy guts. Or perhaps I was eating too many choccy biscuits which were fattening up the milk!

For me breastfeeding was easy from then on. I loved the fact that when she woke in the night I didn’t have to faff around with sterilisers and during the day it was a source of comfort to her. Although breastfeeding came quite naturally to me there was a lot that I learned and I thought it might be worth sharing some of my experiences.

Thirsty Work

Be prepared to feed, a lot. At times Molly would feed on and off for most of the day. Often probably just for comfort. Get yourself a little nest on the sofa with water, snacks, the remote and a book. Plus lots of comfy cushions.

You will get VERY thirsty. I drank pints and pints of water whilst feeding so make sure you have lots of water nearby.

There will be times when you don’t think you can’t feed them any more. Molly once fed almost continuously from 5pm to 2am. I was beyond exhausted and this was the one time I had a melt down. I sat on the landing and cried for 2 minutes then went back and carried on feeding her. There was nothing else I could do.

Breastfeeding doesn’t always make you loose weight despite what you are told. It does as I mentioned above contract your stomach back down. However, I was thinner the week after I gave birth than I was 3 months later. I think I’d gone from a busy job to just sitting and feeding a baby and eating a lot more.

Bottles

I tried to give Molly one bottle a day from the start. I know this isn’t recommended but my mum said it to would get her used to having one should we need. Given that my mum has raised four kids and used to be an NCT breastfeeding counsellor I was happy to trust her judgement. And I always have on everything else. Turns out she’s mostly right. This would have been great except Molly would never take it until 4 months. Apart from randomly if my brother-in-law gave it to her! Go figure. She would just scream and I couldn’t bare to force her to have something she didn’t want so would just feed her myself. I did persevere though and from 4 months Molly was in more of a routine with her feeds so I slowly started swapping in one bottle at different feed times. By 6 months I was only doing her last feed of the day.

Mastitis

I also got Mastitis. Probably a whole other post on its own. The first time I just thought I had flu until my mum (yep, she knows everything!) packed me off to the doctors for antibiotics. It is beyond painful and you feel awful. I got it twice. Once at four months and once at five and a half months. I will admit that the second time reinforced my decision to stop feeding Molly at six months as I couldn’t face going through it again.

Your Feelings

You don’t have to necessarily enjoy it and there’s nothing wrong with that. I didn’t dislike feeding Molly but I can’t say I loved it. I know many people feel differently and love the bond with their baby. Although I know it is the most natural thing in the world I still found it a bit strange that I was feeding a small person from my body. Your feelings are your own so don’t worry about it. I was also still quite unsure of feeding in public. I was not an earth mother who was happy to sit and feed wherever and whenever but I will say that this changed when it came to feeding Alice.

As great as breastfeeding is I did sometimes find it quite hard. It was all on me to look after this teeny person and therefore couldn’t really go anywhere on my own. I remember trying to just nip to the supermarket (you know, because I needed 5 minutes on my own!) only to have my husband call me when I’d reached the end of the road as Molly was screaming. I’d only just fed her but seems I was the only one who could stop her crying.

Expressing is a strange thing. I know a lot of people struggle with expressing and although I didn’t I often felt like a cow being milked! As I said, this is purely my feelings about it. One tip here though is to go for an electric pump if you can. It’s so much easier.

That is something else I can’t stress enough. Feed for as short or long a time period as you want. It’s your choice. By six months Molly was quite big and was not that interested in feeding. She would rather turn her head and look around or pull off and laugh at me. When she was having a bottle she could happily sit and look around so I took the decision to switch to purely bottles. I wasn’t really sad. Perhaps a bit more nostalgic that those early teeny baby days had passed.

I am glad I breastfed and did the same for Alice. It worked for me and I found it an easy thing to do for my girls. However, had it been different I wouldn’t have worried or beaten myself up. You can only do your best and believe me that is more than good enough for your baby.

As usual please do share your experiences and feelings.

Image by Divine Day Photography.