Labour. The one word to get most pregnant women biting their nails and breaking out in a cold sweat. Perhaps it’s the fear of the unknown, or the known if you have already been through it. Having experienced it twice I’m still not sure which is worse! No two labours are the same and over the coming months the RMF team will each be sharing their own experiences with you. The good, the bad and the ugly. Don’t worry, we aren’t aiming to scare you or put you off your cup of tea but we do want to try and bring you an honest account of what labour can be like.
I never had any real thoughts about what I wanted my labour to be like. I didn’t make a birthing plan and didn’t have strong feelings on the the use of drugs, intervention and so on. I guess I thought you never know what might be needed to get baby here safely. Turns out I was right.
Molly’s arrival ended up being via an induced labour. I had a very straightforward pregnancy but at 35 weeks I found out I had developed a rare pregnancy complication called Obstetric Cholestasis. This is a rare liver condition which you only get in pregnancy and is very dangerous to baby as it can be linked to still birth. It was a scary time and following two weeks of blood tests and constant monitoring I was urgently told to come in to the hospital to be induced. So we rushed in that morning, bag and car seat in, only to be sent home again at the end of the day as the labour ward had been too full to fit me in. Before they sent me home they gave me a sweep in the hope of starting labour naturally. Quite possibly one of the most painful things ever and not a very pleasant experience. This is most likely due to the fact that I was quite early. It was a sleepless night as I knew the next day I would be having a baby, all being well, and that coupled with the effects of my illness meant facing labour with very low energy reserves.
So the following day, Sunday, we arrived at 2pm ready for my induction. I had chosen to have my husband Edd and my mum at the birth which I liked and found both to be a calming presence. Luckily I had been told that I was favourable to have my waters broken and so didn’t need to have a pessary which I’d heard can be quite a lengthy process. I was taken straight in to the delivery suite and the midwife started getting everything ready. It felt a bit odd as I had no idea what was coming. Perhaps that was for the best.
I am not going to lie, having your waters broken is not a nice experience. Think of a crochet hook and that is pretty much it!
I was then put on the drip that contains the hormones to induce labour. This is obviously an artificial way to start labour and baby isn’t necessarily ready to be born. I knew it was for the best though due to potential complications if my pregnancy continued. Due to the danger to the baby I also had to constantly be hooked up to the monitor to track her heartbeat. They started the drip at 5:30 pm and every half an hour they would up the level which released more hormones in to my system. In theory as the levels increase it should start labour. This stage was quite boring to be honest, for both me and Edd. I couldn’t move around easily so had to just sit. I read a magazine, ate a banana and drank lots of water! Just waiting. Edd even called his brother to bring over his iPad and other paraphenalia as he was so bored!
By 10:30 pm I was only experiencing mild period type pains and I had a couple of paracetamol to help ease the discomfort. I also found that the drip in my hand was hurting me more than anything else so they had to get the anaesthetist back to redo it as it was so painful. By now I had reached level of 10 on the drip, which was the maximum that the midwife was allowed to administer. A consultant was then called and his recommendation was “up her to level 12”! Within an hour I had gone from no contractions to 8 in a minute. The pain was immense and there was no rest. Obviously this wasn’t good for my body or baby so they reduced the levels back down and by now I was in established labour.
The thing I struggled with most was the lack of movement. I had always thought I’d try and walk around during labour as knew that this was one of the best things for you but being hooked up to a drip and a baby monitor meant this wasn’t possible. Every time I moved, even on the bed, they lost the heartbeat and so I had to get back in the same position. I couldn’t even turn from side to side which is not easy when you are having contractions. Due to the high risks to baby they didn’t want to loose the heartbeat even for a few seconds.
By now I had started on the gas and air to help relieve the pain. I wasn’t a huge fan of this as although it helped it did make me feel very queasy. I persevered though as I didn’t really want to have any further pain relief.
By about 12 30 the pain was unbearable. The Midwife asked if I felt ready to push but I didn’t and I asked how long I might be like this for. They said a few more hours and I made the decision that I wanted an epidural as I had no energy and didn’t feel like I could cope for much longer. I really had wanted to try and get through without one but I just couldn’t. In came the anesthatist and proceeded to go through the risks associated with an epidural. In truth I wasn’t listening that much as was concentrating on the contractions and breathing my gas and air. I just remember him saying ‘and you may never walk again’* (or something along those lines!!). I glanced at Edd and he shook his head as if to say no. Yes please Mr Anethatist. Give me the drugs. And off he went to get ready.
As I was waiting for him to come back the Midwife asked me again if I wanted to push. I was about to say no when suddenly I thought, actually yes I do! And so it started. I don’t remember too much about this stage other than it was blinkin hard work. I followed the midwifes instructions and pushed when told, breathing gas and air in between. After 20 minutes the baby’s heartbeat was dropping and I could tell the midwife was getting a bit more urgent with her demands for me to push. Edd and my mum knew too and were really trying to make me do it. I just had no strength, or so it felt. After a few more minutes I knew things were getting worse. I remember seeing the midwife move away, I think to hit the panic button, and suddenly the room was full of people, all urging me to push. The midwife told me she needed to perform an episiotomy to help get the baby out. At this point I didn’t really care, or think, just do what it takes.
At 1:45am Molly Rose Manns arrived, weighing 6lb 6oz. And all with a few paracetamol, some gas and air and no swearing or shouting from me! I honestly don’t remember hearing her cry, I’m still not sure she did. My mind was a fuzz and she had been rushed away to the other side of the room to be checked by the team of consultants and nurses who had swooped in to the room. After it was declared that she was well she was handed over to me for those first little cuddles. I didn’t have that initial moment of my baby being given to me but at least I knew she was all ok. Turns out she wasn’t actually and a few hours later went to Neo Natal where she spent her first few days but I’ll save that story for another day.
After the birth all you want to do is lie and cuddle that little bundle but there is a bit more hard work to go. The delivery of the placenta is quick for some and harder for others. I was so wiped out that I really didn’t have one ounce of energy left. Somehow I managed it and then they set about the task of stitching me up. There was quite a bit of anaesthetic and a fair amount of time involved here but I can honestly say that it was easy compared to the last few hours. The Midwives and team who looked after me were fantastic and I couldn’t have asked for more.
A few cuddles, and a warm bath later, and I was transfered to the post natal ward. Edd was sent home and I crawled in to bed longing for sleep. I should have known that a new born doesn’t allow that!
Do/did you have strong views on how you would like your labour to be? If you are having an induced labour and have any questions fire away!
*This is by no means a medically correct. Just my gas and air fuddled brain!
Woah Lottie! What a story! I am literally sitting on the edge of my seat. I’ve had such a fascination with women’s birth stories since I was pregnant with my son.
Congrats on getting through that labour! I was induced too and those syntocinon contractions are intense. But I have to say, I’m a weirdo lady that really enjoyed the process of labour. Even though ours ended in an emergency c-section… I still feel like it was a really great birth experience.
Will we get the labour story of your other little girl too at some stage? I’d love to see how the differences in the two!
Ha ha! Love that you love birth stories! I have to admit that for a short while after each birth I loved watching One Born Every Minute but don’t think I could watch it now. 2 years after Alice I have firmly erased that memory from my mind! Yep, pretty sure I’ll be sharing Alice’s story at some point. I was induced with her too but still quite different. xx
Hello!
Since I had my little boy, I love a birth story, no two are the same!
I was also induced, but because my baby was 12 days late and boy was I ready! I was just annoyed that I wasn’t going to get the natural water birth I had planned, I was quite anti drug and had heard that most inductions lead to epidural due to the drip.
I had the pessary that Lottie mentioned. After it was inserted, we were left to it, just being monitored every 4 hours. After about 12 Hours I started to experience back pain and period pains (all good signs).
It was removed after 24 hours, I was checked, I was 3 cm and my waters then went on their own.
At this point it was 10pm, the labour ward was full and we were left in our antenatal room over night.
With hindsight, I contracted overnight, I thought I was still having period pains. By the time I reached the labour ward, I was 6cm and the super lovely midwife declared no need for the dreaded drip if I continued to progress.
The rest is a blur, it was quite long, after 2 hours of pushing, an episiotomy and what seemed like 20 doctors flooding the room at the end, like Lottie my baby’s heartbeat was dropping, my little boy was born. I was so pleased for the support the team provided, but I think my husband could see things going horribly wrong when they arrived.
9lb 1oz, no drugs, not even gas and air, just lots of mindful breathing. I got the birth I wanted, it just didn’t start out like i thought.
Wow, well done Lauren for getting the birth you wanted in the end. I am impressed that you had no gas and air. I don’t think I could have done that. x
Thank you for sharing, I love reading other women’s birth stories! Well done for getting through without any pain relief, those hormone induced contractions are intense… to say the least!!
I had a rough idea in mind of what I wanted during my own labour, the main thing being I wanted to keep walking around for as long as possible, like you mention. Unfortunately there was meconium in my waters, which meant an induction to speed things up and constant monitoring so no moving around for me! As it turns out, the contractions were so intense and with hardly any break in between them that I was quite happy to stay still!
8 hours later and still not dilating I ended up having an emergency cs,
Sorry, posted before I finished!
Was just going to add that I think if possible don’t plan too much or have a ‘perfect birth’ in mind, as there is a good chance it might not quite go to plan! But as long as everyone is safe and healthy at the end of it all, you really don’t care! X
I definitely echo the ‘don’t plan too much’ as you just never know do you. xx
I love birth stories too!
I was 4 days overdue when I went into labour. I woke up on the early hours of Wednesday and said to my husband I had mild cramps, and these comtinued for about 12 hours before I realised they weren’t Braxton Hicks and it was early labour. They then started to become uncomfortable but I just carried on with my day trying to distract myself. By about 6pm I was knocking up some pasta ready to give me energy. When my husband got home from work they were uncomfortable but bearable and we decided to get a bit of sleep, but as soon as I got into bed my waters broke. We went to the hospital at 11pm and by the time I was there they were really painful but I was only 2cm. They told me to stay and I got taken to the labour ward. A few hours later I was in agony but still only 3cm so I had pethidine to help me rest. I got about an hour ‘sleep’ before my husband made me stand up and walk around- by this point I’d been in labour for over 24 hours and I was exhausted but he knew it would help me progress.
The hospital was so understaffed nobody came and checked on me until 10am —and with my husband badgering them that I needed to be moved off the ward. I was 9cm and got rushed down to the birthing suite where I finally got into the pool. I was ready to push straight away but unfortunately due to spinal surgery I had as a child I really struggled to bear down, and it took until 3.15pm to deliver. Despite how long it was it was an amazing experience and being handed my son when Half an hour before I thought I was going to end up in surgery because I was struggling to push so much… It was the best moment of my life.
Gosh, well done Anna with managing the pushing when they thought you wouldn’t be able to. That is sheer determination and as you said, being handed your baby is the best moment ever. x
It is so very true that every labour is different!
When I had my daughter I needed an epidural, after thinking I’d be able to do it naturally when the time came I really didn’t care about my birth plan and no drugs policy!
With my son, who I had six months ago I decided to do hypnobirthing and had my heart set on a water birth. The day I had him I was playing in the garden with my daughter at 4.45pm, my waters went at 5 and I had him on the bathroom floor at 5.15! So my two labours have taught me anything can happen in and it’s probably best not to have your heart set on anything, babies have their own plans!
Wow, that was fast! If only all labours were that quick. Although not sure my husband would be too keen on delivering in the bathroom! x
This sounds a lot like my experience first time around…I am in total agreement that a sweep is probably the most uncomfortable and unpleasant thing ever! I don’t know what I was expecting but I think they need to change the name as sweep sounds rather gentle and it is certainly not that!
I was lucky in the fact that I went into labour naturally (on my due date!) but it was long and tiring and after 12 hours of being stuck on a bed and hooked up to monitors with just gas and air for help I had not an ounce of energy left…then it was time to push! Our little boy had his cord around his neck and so every time I had a contraction his heartbeat slowed (apparently quite dangerously low) I ended up needing the help of forceps (ouch) and he was pulled out weighing a whopping 8lbs 3!
I was glad I’d managed on just gas and air because the recovery time (and stay in hospital)
One thing I wish someone had warned me about was the after pains, seriously! and I found them so much worse than I’d remembered second time around too!!!
That all said, I still look back at both births and feel so happy and excited – it’s like a huge adventure you’re going on as a couple. I also found that my husband had a massive amount of respect for my pain threshold afterwards and kept telling me how amazing I was which was nice!
Cord around the neck is one of the scariest things. It happened to my little brother and sister and my mum always says how traumatic it was. It most certainly is an adventure and your husband’s comments would certainly bring a smile to most women’s faces after going through labour! x
Thank you for sharing Lottie, I too am really into hearing people’s birth stories but I think being almost 37 weeks with my first might have something to do with that! Can I ask how you found the recovery afterwards? Its one thing people tend not to mention or dwell on too much – I know you have a beautiful little baby to look after that distracts you from that but it still seems like a bit of an unknown! I have some birth ‘preferences’ that me and my husband have talked about but totally aware they may well go out the window at the drop of a hat and the main thing is a safe delivery for mum and baby xx
3 weeks to go! Of course, I think the recovery is a whole post in itself. I actually felt really good afterward (strange I know!) despite the obvious discomfort. This might sound an awful thing to say but as Molly was in Neo Natal I had two days of not being able to do anything other than stay in bed with little trips up to see her so I did manage to get some sleep. I didn’t really get much after pains that I remember and paracetamol helped that. Once home I think I overdid it and so second time round I knew I wasn’t superwoman and avoided the hour long walks I’d attempted after Molly. I overdid it so much that I tore my stitches which believe me is not pleasant. So whatever you do take it easy. The hormones put you on a bit of a high afterwards but week 2 it hit me and coupled with the lack of sleep I was exhausted. I think the main thing is to just rest up. Accept offers of help whatever they may be and you just sit and enjoy baby. xx
Definitely see your point about not overdoing it – I’ve managed to walk and exercise (gently!) all through pregnancy and can imagine it will be hard to not rush back into things! Looking forward to hopefully lots of offers of help over the Christmas period from family wanting to visit the new addition!xx
Thanks for sharing Lottie. When I saw the post was a birth story I almost didn’t read it as my daughter was only born 9 weeks ago and it is still a bit raw. However I’m so glad I did as I had an almost identical experience – diagnosed with OC at 37 weeks after what had been up until then a very low risk straightforward pregnancy. Suddenly everything changed and I was induced – also got sent home as ward was too busy, that was a nerve wracking night, panicking whenever the baby wasn’t moving. Then similar labour experience including the baby’s HR dipping & needing an episiotomy. Thankfully baby Flo arrived safely but it was a lot more traumatic than I was expecting and not a nice end to pregnancy. However all is well now (sitting here breastfeeding the cutest little girl ever!) so that’s the main thing.
Another cracker of a post from RMF – sharing experiences is so important.
Katie
OC is a pretty scary time isn’t it but I’m glad I developed it late on. I only had 2 weeks of monitoring movements and that was enough. How long is is too long between movements? I was worried all the way through my second pregnancy that I would get it early on but it I didn’t develop it at all. I got induced second time round at 37 weeks as well just in case. Flo is the cutest name. That was one of our choices for Alice and ended up being her middle name instead. So glad you and flo are all ok and that you are enjoying time with your little one. xx
Thanks for sharing your story. Mine is quite similar in that I developed OC at 35 weeks and was induced at 37+5. I was however given the pessary which caused my body to react quicker than expected to the hormone meaning I went straight into contracting with no breaks. I had issues with the midwives who kept pushing back the time I was due to be monitored so I was in constant pain from 1030 till 1800 when they finally examined me and discovered baby as distressed and they needed to remove the pessary immediately. They used the analogy of his head being between two lift doors constantly squashing him as to what was happening so that was reassuring! I was then transferred to the delivery suite as they needed to break my waters and start me on the drip. I was put on the drip at 9pm and had an epidural at midnight before the examined me again at 2am to find I was fully dilated and ready to push. After 2 hours of pushing and different registrars coming in they announced the baby was transverse and needed to be born with help. We ended up in theatre and after three pushes and the help of forceps he was born. It was very traumatic for both of us and his head was badly bruised and cut from the delivery so I struggled to hold and feed him as he was in a lot of pain. We had a longer stay than expected as he was jaundiced and had low blood sugar so it most definitely was not the birth I wanted but it’s the one I got and I am thankful that Stanley is here safely and is happy and healthy with no lasting after effects.
I had a debrief with the hospital afterwards which really helped me come to terms with it and allowed me to feedback to them on the issues I had in the hope that other women will receive better care. I’d strongly encourage anyone else feeling emotional about it to see if their hospital allows it as it’s a fantastic opportunity to talk it through and be able to see it through the midwives eyes as well as your own. X
Scarily similar story Michelle! That does not sound a nice experience for Stanley (great name!) or you and I think the fact that your hospital did a debrief is excellent. I’m sure a lot of women would appreciate that as a means of talking through the experience x
I was also induced at 35weeks after my waters broke at 34 weeks so I also missed out on the dreaded pessary!
From starting the drip to Felix arriving was 13hrs in total (my notes say active labour was 5hrs). I managed on a combination of hypnobirthing techniques (although I hadn’t quite done all the pain practices I was planning to practise them once On Mat leave!) and gas and air. Although I think gas and air sent me completely mental and I was convinced I’d already had the baby and they were all tricking me (midwives and my husband!).
The final stages of my birth went very quickly. At 630am after being on the drop since 9pm I was checked and the midwife announced I was 5cm dilated and was pleased I was that far! I however was royally peed off that I was only half way there! Honestly the gas and air sent me completely bonkers! Basically something happened (mentally/physically) and at 810am Felix arrived! Weighing 6lb2oz! I am VERY glad I didn’t get to full term in some ways!!
And no stitches.
Felix is now 9weeks old and weighing about 10lbs!!
The gas and air does send you doolally doesn’t it but that is hilarious that you thought the baby had been born (although not for you I’m sure!). I’m really interested by the hypnobirthing as have heard great things about it. 35 weeks is quite early isn’t it so hope Felix was all ok. It sounds like he is thriving now. xx
Felix ended up spending just over 2 weeks in neo natal after his blood sugars were found to be very low after being admitted to the post natal ward together. He was tube fed and on a glucose drip but once he got the hang of sucking (sometimes the suck reflex isn’t fully developed before 37 weeks) there’s been no stopping him! We’ve just started upping his feed as he was constantly grumpy and restless towards the end of last week and he’s grown out of his first set of babygros 🙁
It is now 16 months since my labour experience, but I don’t feel like I’m any closer to getting over it… I wonder how long it actually takes, or if other people feel the same after many years?
My main worry is that we really want another baby (next year maybe) but I always thought the fear of labour would be better second time round… it’s definitely not going to be for me!
My son was born by emergency c-section after 3 days of contractions and hours of worry because his heart rate was dangerously low. Once he was born we found out that he was 10lb 6oz!!
If I get pregnant again I have to choose between a planned c-section, or trying again with labour, but I won’t know if the 2nd baby is going to be as big as (or bigger!!) than my first, so I really don’t know how I will decide.
I think I will do as Michelle recommended, and go through my notes with a midwife or consultant at the hospital, hopefully that will help.
PS: Michelle – I have a baby Stanley too! 🙂
That does sound rather traumatic Jane. It does fade with time, honest! Please don’t let the second time around worry you. I have friends who had very similar experiences (one was in labour for 7 days) and second time round they have not had the same issues despite fretting for the whole pregnancy. It is hard to make the decision of planned C-section but I really don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Fingers crossed it will all be fine for you and hopefully you will have a much better experience xxx
Aw it’s a great name! I’d definitely ask your doctor/ health visitor if they can organise it. It helped me to see why interventions were needed and also at what points I felt out of control which matched lack of communication by them. It also lets them have a record of my views on what could be done differently if we have another baby. Good luck! X
Hi Jane, sorry to hear your birth was so horrible, I had two difficult births, both inductions, one ventouse delivery and the second emergency C-section. When I saw my midwife for my second baby, she asked me about the first birth and I just burst into tears as it had been so terrible and she told me about ‘Birth afterthoughts’ which basically means you see a senior midwife and she goes through everything that happened to you and why certain things may have happened etc and counsels you a bit, similar to what Michelle did I guess. It was a huge help in making me less anxious about my impending birth although unfortunately I still ended up with a tricky 2nd birth, however, it did help me come to terms with things from my 1st. It’s definitely worth trying! xx
Jane, I had three days followed by an emergency c-section under general anaesthetic for my first. You’re so exhausted from being awake for so long I found it took months and months to feel anywhere like normal again. As soon a I found out I was pregnant with number 2 I knew I wanted an elective c-section, I know it’s not for everyone but the thought of going through anything like the same thing again with a natural labour terrified me. The consultant/midwives were great and although I was nervous about the surgery after the first time (epidural and spinal both didn’t take) it was a really lovely experience. I felt so so different after number 2, receovered pretty quickly and didn’t have the overwhelming exhaustion I’d had first time round.
I was induced at 38+3 – not for OC but for rapidly developing preeclampsia, which I was assured would be fine to just be monitored until my MW wandered off during a monitoring session and came back saying that she’d spoken to the consultant and they agreed I should go home, get my bag and then come back to be induced that evening! Which was a bit of a surprise.
As it was I went in the next morning and had the gel pessary which after 10 hours of hanging about caused my waters to go spontaneously, which luckily put me straight into established labour – so I didn’t need the drip. I had an epidural as I couldn’t bear the gas and air (and also, epidurals are amazing!) and after 12 hours of labour (including one of pushing) I gave birth. I had a 2nd degree tear which had to be stitched up but it was ok and healed well. Considering it was an early induction, it was actually relatively straightforward – no complications, no interventions, and I came out of it feeling generally positive about the whole experience, but I put a lot of that down to not having a ‘fixed’ idea in my head about what I wanted.
I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant and have been told that as long as I don’t develop preeclampsia again, I’m on track for a home birth, which I’m quite excited about – my husband much less so!
Preeclampsia is so scary. I have heard epidurals are amazing!! You are braver than me for a home birth. I was actually born at home but my husband straight away said there was no chance I was giving birth at home!! Good luck and fingers crossed you stay healthy and well all the way through. x
Ahh – I love a birth story! I’m 3 months on from mine and still like to share it at every opportunity! I had suspected OC and from 33 weeks was monitored every two days until a growth scan at 39+4 indicated my baby hadn’t grown since the previous scan 2 weeks before and so the phrase “come back tomorrow to have your baby” was uttered by my lovely midwife with much more excitement in her voice than I was feeling. The dreaded induction!! I can say however that my induction experience was great – I was given the pessary at 3.30pm, walked around the hospital grounds with my husband for a few hours (slight cramping came on almost immediately), kissed him goodnight at 9pm as he wasn’t allowed to stay on the ward if nothing was happening and by 11pm the midwife ran me a bath to help ease my cramps and back pain. I lay in the bath for an hour still unaware that my pain was a back to back baby and I was in active labour (duh!! Had I thought to time the back cramps I might have realised…) Just after midnight the midwife came to check on me and asked if i would like some paracetamol. I was bouncing on my ball by this point and had to stop talking when the next “cramp” came on. She decided to time my pains and announced I was having almost 5 contractions in 10 mins!!
My husband was called and by 3am I was in the labour ward and excitedly told I would have my baby before lunch! I started on the gas and air at this point (made me have the fits of giggles, especially when being examined… So embarrassing!!!) and as I had active birthing as a labour preference I was allowed to stay on my ball and the baby was monitored through a small hook onto the top of her head (at this point I was told my baby had lots of hair!!!) which was great as I could keep bouncing without the traditional monitor falling off. By 9.30am the back pain was too much and I declared that I wanted an epidural. 10am and I was all drugged up but of course labour than dramatically slowed down. Lunch time came and went and I was only 7cm dilated and not progressing very quickly at all. I managed to sleep a little but then I remember being woken up by my husband and told I had to start pushing!! An hour or so of pushing and the need for forceps and an episiotomy (I was certainly not afraid of either of these procedures at the time – it’s amazing what you will do to meet your baby!) my gorgeous baby girl was born at 8lbs 10… The earlier growth scan indicated she was under 6lbs so everyone was very surprised. I can honestly say though that the whole thing was the best experience of my life and I would do it all over again if I had to.
My biggest tip for first timers though is stay active after being induced and during labour if you can. I am convinced that walking and bouncing helped bring my labour on so quickly after induction (obviously I was then immobile after the epidural and so everything slowed down).
Thanks for sharing everybody! Love reading everyone’s experiences 🙂
Congratulations Maddy. Hope your little one are doing well. This sounds rather traumatic but so happy you were able to keep moving. Despite not being able to I firmly believe it helps as you have said. Thanks so much of sharing xx
Wow, Lottie – what a story! That must have been so scary to have been diagnosed with that pregnancy complication. What a gorgeous name – Molly Rose. 🙂
I’m 21 weeks now so am loving reading all of the different stories on here – it just shows that you absolutely cannot predict what is going to happen and HOW it’s going to happen…for some reason, that makes me feel better, it’s just somehow liberating to know I shouldn’t sweat it too much as bub will have his own plans! And, at the end of the day, HOWEVER which way baby comes out, every woman who gives birth is flippin’ awesome.
Ah thanks. Molly was always a name we loved and Rose was my grandparents surname so we wanted to use it. It was much harder second time with Alice as we had used our favourites (sorry Alice!). You are braver than me reading birth stories. I avoided everything when pregnant as decided I would rather be blissfully unaware! Babies definitely have their own plans so you have the right attitude there. x
It’s 12 1/2 years since my first labour, and it is still as vivid in my mind as it was then. I still feel that my body let me down, and regret the way it turned out. I went in to be induced at 41+5. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and Daniel was finally born by emergency C-section on the Friday afternoon. He was back to back, his head was still at -3, and despite getting to 8cm (those syntocin contractions are horrific – nothing to full blown labour in 10 minutes flat!) I couldn’t do it. I won’t bore you with all the details, but he was back to back and it was just never going to happen!! All 7lbs of him was born at 3.30pm on Friday 20th June 2003. his 2 younger brothers were also born by CS – Ben was elective at 41 weeks in September 2005 (I didn’t want it, but had to relent in the end) and Jacob was born by elective CS (I had no choice about this…) in August 2007.
I still feel that I have missed out on an experience that hundreds of other women have. You may think that peculiar, but I couldn’t do what so many others do every single day. The recovery from a CS is horrible (I got MRSA in my wound after no 3) and I feel cheated. Those feelings will never go away, but I have learned to live with them, and put them in their place. I now have 3 very healthy, happy boys aged 12, 10 and 8; and really, after all said and done, that is the most important thing.
Never ever think your body let you down and I’m so sorry to hear that you feel cheated. I can understand the feelings but as you said, you have 3 healthy boys and that is much more important than whether or not you could have a natural labour. In truth even natural labour isn’t always truly natural with all the drugs you have. Mine certainly wasn’t being induced so give yourself a big hug as you did amazingly whatever xx
Rachel I am so sorry you feel this way. I had an emergency section after being in labour for 36 hours, despite having pushed (no pun intended!) for an elective C section all along. Having a C section is nothing to be ashamed of, it is REALLY hard work and by no means an “easy” option as some would have you believe. You have done an amazing job carrying and birthing 3 boys, just remember that and hopefully it will negate any disappointment you may feel. xx
This isn’t my birthing story per se but it was a story that I was very involved in… My sister was 9 months pregnant and I was due to be on baby sitting duty for her eldest child while she was at the hospital with our Mum and her husband. I was called at about 6.30am as she was in early labour. When I arrived, she was in the bath as her contractions were still very far apart. Around lunchtime, she was walking around the house and as her contractions were getting quicker, decided to go to the hospital around 3pm. At 5pm, she came home feeling really deflated as she wasn’t dilated AT ALL. Mum left and her husband went back to bed as he was due back at work at 10pm and he didn’t want to start his paternity leave until the baby was definitely here. After dinner and putting her daughter to bed, I heard her walking down the stairs and stopping suddenly. I walked over to her, I saw she was about to be sick. I moved her into the living room and her contractions started to speed up. Mum was on her way back and her husband was awake and we decided they’d go to the hospital at 9.30pm. As they were grabbing her things, we were sat on the sofa together when her waters broke. A few moments later she said “I’m bleeding, something doesn’t feel right – call an ambulance” – it was 9.54pm. She kept saying she could feel the head, but none of us believed her. The operator was struggling to get us an ambulance and said she could talk us through delivery if it came to it. Well – it came to it! Mum rushed upstairs to get something for her to lie on and her husband was still trying to flag down the ambulance. I lay her down on a duvet and took her leggings off. I looked down and could see the head!! I screamed for her husband, who luckily is a police officer and had had some training! He threw the cat into the garden and sat down next to me. The operator said “ok in the next contraction, she’s got to push – don’t get the baby stuck, it’s going to be slippery so make sure you catch it and DO NOT cut the cord, there IS an ambulance on it’s way”. What felt like 15mins (really about 1) the next contraction came and the baby came out! The time was 10.03pm! I moved the cord from around his back and we handed him to her. I wrapped them both in a towel and rubbed his back to make sure he was breathing well. Shortly after that, the paramedics arrived and took care of the cord and the after birth. Luckily, the baby was healthy and neither of them had to go to the hospital – I left that night around 2am, just in a daze. I can honestly say, it was the most amazing experience of my life to have had the chance to deliver my nephew. The next day, their daughter walked into their bedroom to see her baby brother – which they captured on camera and the expression of wonder on her face was incredible. Somehow she’d slept through the whole thing!
WOW! I’m not sure I would have been that calm through this so you are a superstar. There are so many quick deliveries that mean baby is born at home so to hear your story is fantastic. Have you thought of being a midwife?! x
What a brilliant post, I’m so pleased you guys are going to be sharing your birth stories. My due date is today and as a first timer I can’t tell you how helpful it is to read these and everyone else’s accounts. The majority of my friends were induced with their first babies, so learning more detail about what this can be like from all of you is priceless and helps me feel a bit more prepared – thank you! Xx
Glad we can be of help Jenn. I’m not entirely sure you can ever be that prepared for birth but we like to try. Hope baby arrives soon for you. Good luck xx
Well I just had to wade in with my “horrific” birth story – I put that in quotes as many people have described it as that when honestly it doesn’t really bother me much, although perhaps that was helped by the fact I was pretty pragmatic in the lead up to it. I had asked to be considered for a section as I have a family history of being unable to give birth vaginally but I was pushed/forced into trying for a ‘natural’ birth. I was 4 days overdue and went into hospital to be induced as I was so incredibly uncomfortable (and huge!) by that stage. Long story short the induction went wrong (I went into full-blown labour immediately after having the pessary), had my waters broken then endured over 24 hours of labour, gas & air, pethidine, one failed epidural, one working epidural – never progressing beyond 2cm dilated. Finally there were signs of an obstruction so I was offered an emergency C section at which point I burst into tears cue midwife: “it’s OK, you haven’t failed, sometimes it’s the only way” Me: “I’m crying with relief cos I bloody well wanted this from the get go, not because I don’t want it!!!”. Half an hour later and my daughter arrived, all 9lb 15oz of her. Pretty glad she came out the “sunroof” as one midwife put it! Then a horrible recovery, breastfeeding issues (thankfully resolved & we’re still going strong 2 yrs later!), adverse reaction to painkillers and a wound infection. However I don’t feel any anger, disappointment or resentment. No actually I do – that I didn’t push with all my might for an elective C section as it would have saved a lot of hurt at the time (physical and emotional) and would have saved the NHS some money to bootl. Next time it will be an elective C section all the way and I have zero guilt about saying that.
Very interesting reading everyone’s stories on here and nice to see some expectant mums enjoying it too – we often are told not to “scare” people with our stories but I honestly think it’s better to know the range of experiences you might expect – one thing is for sure, you can’t plan it! x
So pleased that the team will be sharing all your stories with us- I think a separate recovery post is a really good idea- from after pains on, and a “what is normal and what is not.” Would you consider a q and a with different medical professionals?
Silvia is snoozing next to me, 8 months on from labour. My waters went and I was so excited but nothing happened in spite of walking 7km that day. I went back to be induced and had the pessary put in, told I was 3cm and to keep active so I did- walked all day, did the 3 story stairs 30 times- husband counted. All I did was exhaust myself, with increasingly strong but irregular contractions. Midwife examined me, found I had reacted badly to the gel and was now, in her words, scrunched closed. Bummer. I had to wait until labour ward was clear, by which point I had had no sleep for two nights and been in pain for 36 hours, so I threw all my dreams of active drug free birth away and demanded an epidural before the drip got going. From drip in to her arrival was 6 hours, and though I ended up with forceps we still managed to have some of the important things from our birth plan- skin to skin, delayed cord clamp, and my husband told me we had a daughter.
So, do make a plan as you never know which bits you might use even if you discard other aspects- it’s so good to focus your mind and introduce all the options.
Long long comment so I will save the afterbirth experience for a future post ? Maybe one on epidurals? And when they go wrong!
7km and 30 times on the stairs? You are a machine!!! A Q and A sounds an excellent idea x
A final thought for expectant mums- my birth was not what I wanted at all but I would do it again tomorrow with a smile to have my girl. No matter how bad it got, and it was bad, she was worth it, every stitch and every indignity.
I’m currently 21 weeks pregnant and thoroughly enjoying these birth stories! As something of a control freak it’s a bit unnerving to know labour is something that I’ll have no control of, but the stories at least give me an idea of the various eventualities. Great post RMF!
Thank you so much for sharing, I really had a lump in my throat by the end! I definitely can’t watch OBEM since having my babies!
I found with my first pregnancy I was like you and didn’t have any strong views about how I wanted labour to go just safely! I went into labour 4 weeks early and as I live on the Isles of Scilly they have to fly you off to the mainland if you are any earlier than 3 weeks. My little boy was born en route to Treliske hospital onboard the Royal Navy Seaking helicopter- definitely something we couldn’t have planned for!
During my second pregnancy I was very concerned about labour and even considered a home birth in case this baby was born as quickly as my son. However the mess put me off! In the end I had a straight forward birth in our local hospital with very little gas. In some ways I found this birth more traumatic as I was very aware of the pain! Although I actually think this was good as I didn’t need stitches this time around and I didn’t realise how much easier it makes your recovery after the birth. The midwife who delivered my second baby actually by some chance delivered my little boy on the helicopter. It was so lovely having her there for both births and you can’t trust someone more than if they’ve safely delivered your baby in midair in the dark!
I would highly recommend a TENS machine for those planning for their birth. I didn’t have time to use it the first time but the for the second it was amazing! I had a few expectant friends so we had one machine and passed it to the next one due each time after each baby was born. Good luck! And the most amazing story isn’t the labour but what happens once your little bundle is here xx
Hi Ella. Thanks so much for sharing. That is a great story to tell your son when he is older. He’ll love telling friends he was born on a helicopter! Plus having been to the Scilly Isles I can only say thank god you weren’t on the ferry or gig (he he!). What a fabulous place to grow up. xx
It’s really lovely to read everyone’s story! I’m working in obstetrics so basically I have witnessed almost every way it could go, but it’s really intriguing for me to see how you all perceived it and dealt with it. I’m currently less than 8 weeks from the due date of our first child, so am really excited to meet our little baby!
Not long to go. It will be great for you to have seen it all from both sides I’m sure. Good luck! x
I loved reading this post. Our baby girl arrived almost 2 weeks ago, a little over 3 weeks early. It was a bit of a shock, with my waters breaking in the night, and being sent to hospital and not being allowed home as technically the baby was premature by 1 day. Cue pessary induction, hours of contractions that got immensely painful very quickly (I felt like such a wimp!!) and no painkillers allowed as I was still on the antenatal ward! Thankfully they moved me into the labour ward quite quickly, and I went from 4cm dilated to fully delivered in less than an hour, with a rather dramatic end due to madam’so shoulder getting stuck and an umbilical cord spurring with blood!!! Despite the shock of the early arrival and the dramatic ending, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it might be – and at 7lb4 I’m quite glad she didn’t go to term!! Also, I never expected to make such primal noises during labour, my poor husband was a bit shocked I think…! Unfortunately we have had to spend a lot of our time post-birth in hospital due to feeding issues, but I think (hope!!) we are starting to turn the corner. I am in awe every day of the beautiful little girl we have created, she makes every feeding mission worthwhile.
I love hearing birth stories and was addicted to reading them when I was pregnant. The birth of my son was wildly different to what I thought it would be like. I was induced at 41+5 with a pessary and after 24hours of hyper stimulation and constant contractions overnight I was examined and still not dilated at all. Consultant came by and suggested another round of the same drugs to try and get things going. They couldn’t give me the chances of it working this time and because of the hyper stimulation they then (after much discussion and the registrar suggesting it) offered an elective caesarean. My husband and I discussed the options and decided based on gut instinct that we should go for the caesarean. My baby was born the next
morning 2 weeks overdue at 11lb 2oz!! The biggest the Dr had ever delivered. My experience really made me aware of how important it is to thoroughly understand your options and listen to my own gut feelings, and I’m relieved we made the decision we did. I didn’t measure big during my pregnancy or have gestational diabetes. It is safe to say any further pregnancies I will be asking to be monitored very carefully!
Louisa this sounds so similar to my own experience (above) but my baby wasn’t quite as big! And I too was told all along that I wasn’t measuring big – in fact I got told “on the small side of average” although I did balloon in the last 2 weeks! Definitely hoping to be monitored more closely next time around….
Wow Lottie… You could very much be describing my exact labour with my son!
Fairly straight forward pregnancy. Finished work at 35 weeks and 2 days… By 35 weeks and 5 days and some severe itching of the hands and feet, I was diagnosed with OC! I’m a massive believer in fate and Id just by chance been chatting to my cousin the weekend before at a family wedding about not lpoking forward to the birth… She told me how in both her pregnancies she contracted OC in trimester 3. She told me all about it and how she wasn’t allowed to go any further than 37 weeks, blah blah blah…
My symptoms started only a week later and to this day I thank her for that moment we had together as I may have passed the itching off as my ever growing body just stretching a little more!!
They tried to maintain the condition with drugs and monitoring but only 3 days later I was told my bile acid levels were getting worse not better… I was then told I was gonna be induced 2 days later… I instantly broke down into tears. I guess I was worried about the development of the baby. Id be giving birth at 36 weeks and 3 days.
I had the pessary procedure and after small contractions all day they refused to give me another, so there I was 13 hours later and only 2cm and no broken waters! They had 3 attempts to break them which im sure to this day was far more excruciating than the actual birth (like you said… Perhaps because the baby wasn’t ready) but 3rd time lucky they broke my waters. The time between that happening and my son arriving (9 hours later) was all a bit of a blur. I had the drip, the monitoring, the having to stay in 1 position scenario too… But with nothing to compare it to I guess I just thought this is what labour is all about But since then I have realised that I really did have quite a rough ride.
Sonny was born 26 hours after the pessary, and sadly wasn’t breathing initially… He came around and was finally given to me to cuddle, but a few hours after this his started to go very purple looking. Before we knew it he was admitted to SCBU where he stayed for 6 days. From being induced early, Sonny’s lungs hadn’t quite developed so needed respitory help and also photo therapy. Looking back its so hard remembering those first few days which are supposed to be be the most wonderful… OC has a lot to answer for.
I currently am 34 weeks pregnant with number 2 and have already admitted myself to hospital once for a blood test after paranoid itching. Luckily it was in my head, so I pray it won’t rear its ugly head again… It would be nice to experience my waters breaking naturally and a labour where I can move around more. Wish me luck x
Oh my gosh. This is identical even down to the turning purple bit a few hours later. I’d taken Molly to post natal, edd had gone home and she started going blue. The midwives were brilliant and whisked her off to Neo Natal as she had lung problems/fluid on her lungs and low blood sugar. Luckily she was only in 2 days but it was quite scary. I only knew about the OC as my best friend is an Obs consultant and I asked her if I should be itching. My hands and feet weren’t but she told me to go and ask the hospital for a blood test anyway. They were reluctant but so glad I did as turns out my bile acids were sky high. In my second pregnancy I was confident I’d get it again so was monitored all the way through. At 37 weeks I hadn’t got it but did have dangerously low platelets so I asked to be induced again as didn’t want to risk developing OC in those last few weeks. Probably wasnt the right decision but I only really knew labour on a drip! Good luck with the last few weeks. Let us know when baby arrives xx
I have an 8 week old baby boy so this is a really interesting post. I have a rheumatoid disorder so was monitored throughout my pregnancy, but fortunately it was actually really straightforward. I had wanted a water birth and just assumed that my labour would be as straightforward as the pregnancy. However, he just refused to budge so I was induced at 41+5 as rheumatoid babies often slow down in growth – he was 7lb 9oz at that late stage. I had been in labour for 14 hours and was only 3cm dilated when I had what they called a ‘silent placental rupture’ – thankfully they’d broken my waters and saw the blood. We were rushed away in seconds for an emergency c section. Sadly this meant my husband couldn’t be present so we both missed out on our baby boy’s first minutes of life (I was out for hours!). The recovery from a c section is pretty rough, especially after anaesthetic and blood transfusions and I’m not sure if I could face another pregnancy – it’s early days though!
However, my baby sister had her little girl on the same day as my little boy (our father looked mightily shell shocked to go from 0 – 2 grandchildren in 12hrs!) and she had a straightforward natural birth and has recovered beautifully. Perhaps this gives me hope! 🙂
Ah, I absolutely love a birth story, will be keeping my eyes peeled for the others to come! I loved both my labours… Yes, I said loved, and no, I’m not crazy!
I was lucky though I admit, I had a straightforward, rather fast first labour in hospital which meant I was determined to have a home birth with my second and it was the most amazing experience of my life. Would definitely recommend any mama with a straightforward pregnancy to consider it, there is nothing like being in your own home for what is quite possibly the most personal, life changing experience you can ever have. My (then almost 4yr old) daughter witnessed her sister being born and she still talks about how amazing it was to be part of it all. The best bit was all being together, no being kicked out at the end of visiting hours, getting into my own bed with my husband and beautiful girls without having to listen to or consider anyone else… Magical!
Hi Lottie, only reading this post now, but I find it fascinating as I had OC too and it’s interesting to see the different treatment of the illness in different countries. I’m not in the UK and they are much more relaxed about it here, to the point where they were happy to let me go full-term with it and ‘see what happens?’ I thankfully didn’t agree with them, having read lots of research online and pushed for a section early ( baby was also breech, which further complicated matters) The section went well and I delivered my baby girl at 38 weeks, but it really upsets me to think that had I been a little more laid back and listened to the medics, I could have had complications later into pregnancy and lost her. Do you mind me asking how they presented OC to you through the NHS? Did they explain that it was high risk? Did they give you an option for how long you could continue with the pregnancy for? Apologies for all the questions, but it’s a topic that really resonates with me.
Hi. Thanks so much for the message and that is quite scary really. I am actually going to do a post on OC in the coming weeks as it seems that quite a few of our readers have experienced it too. I had no idea about it but luckily my friend is a consultant and when I told her about the itching she told me to go to the hospital. In honesty, no one really seemed to know much about it. The midwives kind of just said that it was linked to still birth but they weren’t really sure how much and to just monitor baby’s movements and constant blood tests. The first consultant I saw refused to treat me as he didn’t know enough about it but I never got to see a second one as Molly arrived before that due to ridiculously high bile acids. It was as though no one really wanted to say it was linked to still birth and the rules on how long to leave you kept changing. Luckily my friend was able to tell me a little bit more and she just said if it was her she’d get baby out as soon as possible when you were past the 36 week mark. The doctors wanted to get me as close to 40 weeks as possible really but it was as though they downplayed how dangerous it was. It was only me reading up on it that realised how lucky I was to have got Molly here safely. We were planning for a private c section but in the end the NHS realised how bad I was and induced me. If you are planning any other babies I will say that I didn’t get it with my second pregnancy. The odds were high but somehow I got through it ok! x