In a recent Grazia article, an expectant mother talked about how she would be shunning the NCT antenatal classes that are a rite of passage for so many new mums.
She described how she was not interested in making ‘mum friends’ and would be leaning on her own mum and neighbour for support, rather than “a bunch of women with whom the only thing I have in common is passing a human out of our vaginas”.
She also mentioned that NCT have a reputation for militantly promoting breastfeeding and births without medical intervention.
What have your experiences with NCT been?
Image by Divine Day Photography
I always dislike the assumption that you can’t make real friends at any sort of mum centered activity, as if everyone who attends are some homogenous mass of women with no discernible qualities. You’re as likely to make friends at a mum group as you are at a new job or a new hobby. Not definitely but possibly.
Anyway, I did antenatal classes (not NCT but similar) and whilst the course content wasn’t anything I couldn’t have learnt online, having 4 other women in the same situation was helpful and comforting during the early days of a newborn – crucially they were company as well at a time I definitely needed it.
Now a few years later, I’m still good friends with two of the four and still ‘acquaintances’ with the other two.
I have lots of local friends and family with children but I would say that having local friends with first babies exactly the same age was a godsend in the early days. Am glad I did it.
My NCT course was invaluable for me.
I did one in January – February this year.
I’m the first of my friendship group to have a child and therefore didn’t have many people to turn to to ask ‘is this normal?’ ‘What should I expect?’ Etc so knew I sort of needed a ‘forced friendship’
The course was actually much better than I expected itself and the content I feel prepared me for the next stages.
Googling answers to things usually does more harm and worry than good in my experience.
The NCT course we did had none of this historical pushing towards no drug birth or breastfeeding, quite the contrary. We were given a well informed description of each drug we could have offered to us, side effects, etc we were also taught relaxation and breathing techniques so we were able to make our own informed decision on what type of birth we would like to have.
We were given a separate breastfeeding session which was ok, in my experience nothing could prepare me for breastfeeding as I had a horrific time haha but at least I knew I was doing all the basics right.
I ended up needing an emergency c-section during birth and I think if I hadn’t have done my NCT course I would have been terrified. I was still pretty scared but because of the course I was informed with what to expect etc etc.
We still meet up once a week with the NCT group, no we aren’t best pals, but we are a group of mums who went through exactly the same things at the same time and sometimes that forms a bond which is very special. To know that we all have a group of mums we can what’s app saying ‘how much solid food does your baby eat’ ‘anyone have breakfast ideas’ ‘anyone have any tips how to get a screamy baby’s to calm down’ and yes you could google all of these but tips from other mums with babies exactly the same age I’ve found to be much more helpful.
Exactly this 👆👆
totally agree! There’s something so comforting about being able to ask those questions to people who are also wondering exactly the same thing!
You’ve basically written my thoughts for me 😊 cheers dears! Xx
Wouldn’t have been without it first time. We lived in London where we didn’t know many people and I needed a local network rather than schlepping half an hour or more by bus and train. We saw each other at least twice a week and whatsapped the rest of the time. I did do pregnancy yoga and met some good friends there but a lot of them had their own NCT group.
I compare my experience with that of my SIL who has lived in the same (reasonably sized) town all her life – went to school there, worked there, still lives there – and she had a network already. The issue with that is that the babies are all at different ages and you really need someone at the same stage as you as it’s easy to forget.
I think it depends on your circumstances and where you live.
In terms of promoting BF I’d say the opposite. Ours really pushed mixed feeding. We were lucky because there was also no pressure about natural births either. One session was a garden lunch in the midwife teacher’s house. Was lovely. We each took a dish. We ended up doing it regularly except with ummm….wine and cheese..:.
Now a lot of my NCT group have scattered around the country. But we all had second babies within a few months of each other again. Our whatsapp group is semi regular.
I have made more friends than ever before since becoming a mum.
Having said that I have only used the NCT for baby groups. I would never have paid for one of their courses ever.
I see the point of making mum friends, the point of antenatal classes escapes me however!
My NCT class was invaluable for the friendship group of new mums I made, but the content of the course was very one-sided (promoting only breast feeding and natural birth). It meant I wasn’t mentally prepared for my induction and a baby with tongue tie who refused to latch on so ended up guilt ridden with express and formula feeding. The content of the course needs looking at.
My NCT course was great, informative, not preachy, we even acted out what would happen in a c-section so we were prepared if possible. We also discussed the pros and cons of the different pain relief on offer. As someone wrote above the breastfeeding section could never prepare me for the reality, and out of 5 mum’s, two of us exclusively breastfed, one did combi, and the other two did bottles. I’m terms of friendships, 3.5 years later I am in daily contact with one of the mum’s, we both moved away but have since had our second children three weeks apart so we describe ourselves as 21st century penpals thanks to whatsapp. I’ve also made friends through other baby groups and still have friends from before. So I am grateful to the NCT for my one good friend but envious of other friends who met such a tight group.
Our baby is due this month and we did NCT classes a few weeks ago, mainly because we couldn’t make it to the NHS classes in our area. This is our first baby and we wanted to be better prepared for the birth, and the classes definitely helped with that! We found the information very balanced and didn’t feel like we were having an agenda pushed on to us, whether natural birth or breastfeeding. Not sure we made any friends for life but that wasn’t really what we were looking for!
Without a doubt, the best £200 we spent in preparing for our new arrival.
Most people there were of a similar mind to us, to make friends and develop a support network. Almost 4 years on, we still are a tight group of friends. The support of people going though something similar at the same time has been invaluable.
The course content was balanced in my opinion, allowing us to make informed choices during a difficult labour.
I was sceptical to begin with, but we’ve been so lucky with our particular group. I wouldn’t be without them…
I found my NCT course invaluable and although the course content wasn’t great, it was great for having friends in the early days and I still talk to them regularly via WhatsApp now we are all back at work. I also found the support from the breastfeeding counsellor for our area fantastic and I’d say about half the group spoke with her in the early days for help.
I have now gone on though to start training as an NCT teacher myself and I am seeing it from the other side and what content should be passed across and in what way.
From reading the comments and other feedback on NCT, I think the content of the course must vary dramatically depending on who is leading the course. I attended an NCT course when pregnant with my first baby and we definitely covered a straightforward vaginal delivery, induction (including the different stages and drugs involved) and c-section (although this wasn’t in lots of detail as the course leader said the c-section experience was likely to differ a lot depending on the circumstances leading to the c-section and she didn’t want to describe each stage in vast detail only for people to worry something was wrong if their c-section was carried out differently).
I found the course useful and while I do think it is very difficult to prepare completely for the actual realities of labour (it’s such a difficult sensation to describe and I think every person’s experience is different) I am glad I went and would definitely recommend an anti-natal class (whether NCT, BirthPlus etc) to first time mums.
On a slightly separate point, I would also recommend trying hypnobirthing, attending a positive birth group or trying pregnancy yoga or a Daisy Birthing class. I tried all of these during both of my pregnancies and they definitely helped me to stay calm and to feel positive (rather than anxious) about my births, even when I was given an induction due to the baby’s growth slowing. It’s so difficult to approach birth with a postive mind when people love to share a birth horror story as soon as they see you’re expecting!
I did pregnancy yoga – with a teacher who was so good that by the time I got to the NCT course I’d booked I knew more than 90% of what was covered. I also found the pressure to make friends quite weird (as so many people had told me that it was essential) – a year on from our babies arriving I don’t really see and barely speak to my NCT group – but I do sort of feel like a failure because of this… I’ve made much better mum friends from baby groups etc, and as the NHS does free antenatal classes I wish we’d just done that – but maybe that’s just because my yoga teacher covered so much more than yoga in her classes.
We did have a fully fledged member of the breastapo run our breastfeeding session – it was ridiculous how extreme she was – and I really was pro breastfeeding (still going at 13 months), but so much of the information was inaccurate and not based on any scientific research – we complained and got some money back.
I did an NCT course ahead of the birth of my first baby this year, and although I think I knew nearly all of what they taught us already, I would recommend it to other first time mums purely for the relationships with other mothers at the same stage of motherhood. As others have said, it’s great to have people going through what you are with pregnancy and then babies for mutual support. I had friends with children already but the closest child in age was 8 months by the time my son was born so that friend was facing a totally different set of challenges to me.
I’ve since made friends at baby groups but I wasn’t attending any of these until my baby was a month old, and without the support of my NCT group it would have been a lonely month!
I agree that the course content needs looking at – although I felt we were given balanced information about pain relief etc there was nothing to prepare you for post birth (stitches, bleeding, visitors…!) and I know my partner felt that more practical baby skills would have been good (he was annoyed that we spent money on a course and he came away not even knowing how to put on a nappy!).
I think if you go into it thinking “I’m going to get a support network here” it seems worth it, but I think there are some fabulous books (like Clemmie Hooper’s book) that cover more in terms of preparation for birth!
I didn’t attend any antenatal course as there were no NHS ones and I wasn’t prepared to pay for them. I have however attended local children’s centre groups since my baby was 2 weeks old. Daddy went back to work so it has been ideal to make friends with people who aren’t at work (ie all my family and school friends) so that I could just talk to someone at 3pm or 3am who were also awake / trapped under an infant whenever I was.
My mum was an NCT teacher and that article broke her heart. She said the whole point was to empower people to make choices and be aware of all their options- at every step. Judging and pushing people in one way is as bad as the old episiotomies for all lie on your back don’t ask me questions approach that the NCT started in response to (this historical context always gets left out. Things were really, really bad).
When I was pregnant with S there was no NCT locally and my midwife recommended a day workshop with someone else. It was horrific. Exactly the kind of guilt inducing nonsense described. We were encouraged to see the medical staff as the enemy and told that we should delay going in as long as possible. The teacher was my idea of a nightmare doula. I made a complaint both to the centre running it and back to my midwife. In comparison my NHS classes were great- lots of focus on it being ok to feel overwhelmed, baby development, and a Playmobil operating theatre so you could see how many people are in the room. That teacher now does our local NCT and is great. And I still have two good friends from that.
So I guess it all depends on the teacher and the context for content and friends. But I do think we need to remember where the NCT came from and what is still happening- from all the responses on Jenson’s birth story saying midwives didn’t examine or believe them or doctors being callous and uncaring the NCT is needed and needs to sort itself out and advocate for its original values of choice and respect.
My greatest advice to an expectant friend is go to her local NCT classes – which by the way stands for NATIONAL Childbirth Trust not Natural Childbirth Trust. One of our sessions included a simulation of a c-section, with parents taking on the roles of medical staff involved – just to demonstrate why there could be up to 15 people in theatre – and that not being a cause for concern. We learned to change nappies on dolls (with mustard smeared in them). How to establish boundaries for visitors for the first few weeks (wish I’d put that into practice) and a piece of tumbler dryer exhaust tubing and a skeleton of a pelvis gave me the confidence my body was invented to do this. However the main bonus was the friends formed, over five years later most of us still see each other regularly. And with my second baby recently arrived my NCT instructor Rebecca’s words still echo in my head daily, like get a bath thermometer, a lot of babies cry at bath time because we don’t make the water warm enough, it should be 37 degrees. About half of the Mums in my group breastfed, half formula. There was no criticism of either. But for those of us who did breastfeed having the support of Mums doing the same was invaluable.
Our NCT teacher was a bit disparaging about bath thermometers as you can use your elbow… but surely if a cheap bit of kit is going to stop a bit of additional stress, surely it’s worth it?!
I did the course back in June and think it was the best thing I’ve ever done! Our entire group hit it off and we meet nearly every day for different groups and whatsapp constantly.we all adored our teacher! She really brought our husbands into the experience and made the feel able to support us. We’ve supported each other through big moves, going back to work,illness. Our teacher gave us all a peace about our births either natural or.c-section and prepared us to fight our corners. 6 months on the entire group is still breastfeeding! Don’t get me wrong its been hideous at times! Our teacher runs a support group, one of many on every day across our tiny city. Honestly we are beyond blesses with the services we have and all well supported by the NCT mummies! I suspect we are very lucky here and that other areas could learn from Salisbury.
As someone who is currently part of a very supportive NCT group and planning a relocation to Salisbury, your post has filled me with happiness!! Do NCT in Salisbury welcome 2nd time mums to courses just so you can meet a group of lovely mummies?!
I believe that is on the cards and our teacher did mention doing 2nd time round courses. Her name is Cally and she is very worth speaking to!!
It is the most amazing place to be a mum as there are so many groups to choose from. There are fantastic clothing exchanges and the library is a brilliant place to meet mums (we do rhyme time). Our little group seems to scoop up various other mums as and when we bump into them, its a friendly place if youre willing to get stuck in!
Wish you all the best settling in, I know you’ll love it!
I read the article with interest, and agree with the overall sentiment that you should aim to maintain your friends who existed prior to you having become a Mum, however I found the article to be naive. I hope the Mum in question is able to fill her days while on maternity leave, if her existing friends are at work. I found the friends I made at NCT to be invaluable – and local (how many of your uni/school/work friends actually live where you do?). Yes, the NCT crowd have to tow the party line and give info on breastfeeding, but a confident mother knows to take it all with a pinch of salt and be prepared to face anything. My complaint with NCT more than anything is that it promotes an ideal of breastfeeding (I’ve known one friend amongst tens whose child has actually done the fabled newborn crawl for the boob). They don’t prepare you for the fact it might be hard, and possibly even painful. I actually feel more people would breastfeed if they weren’t patronised with the chat about the love hormones doing it all for you (actually, no, that’ll be my cracked nips doing the lion’s share of the work). I ended up bottle feeding due to a sense of inadequacy about my milk flow, mainly because I hadn’t been aware of, or been prepared for the hell of cluster feeding. If I knew what I was facing was something limited to a finite time, I may have trusted myself more. It’s only my own research that helped since to understand what I was going through – there in the mire of it I made a choice which I felt so much guilt over (another NCT hangover?). Other than that hoo-haa though, the advice on other areas was valuable, and the Mum-friends even more so.
I can’t imagine how different my life would be now if I hadn’t done NCT classes. It’s five years since I attended and honestly it was the best decision I could have ever made.
Lots of the course content was things we knew, but it was an opportunity to ask questions about anything we were unsure about with no judgment. We were told in lots of detail about the experience of caesarean birth, how many people would there, we learn about all forms of pain control. I honestly found it empowering.
It also, and more importantly, it has provided me with the most amazing support network. Over the past 5 years those 8 families have been there for everything- engagements, weddings, christenings, divorces, house renovations, house moves, sleep woes, weaning, children health issues, grandparents illnesses. We have just booked for 20 of us to spend a week in France next summer.
In the early days it was a standing date that we dragged ourselves out every Thursday to meet up whatever was happening. Gradually we grown to be completely amazing friends. I suppose it is luck who you end up with on your class, but to write it off without trying is pretty short sighted.
We didn’t do NCT as with my first baby had a lot of friends who were having babies at the same time as us, I’ve heard lots of positive things about it from making friends and gaining a support network rather than the content itself. I’m a few weeks away from due date with baby number two and we did Hypnobirthing course this time round (just the free ones our hospital runs) and I have to say it’s been fantastic, it’s left me feeling empowered to give birth this time, however the birth may turn out and there didn’t seem to be anything forced on us. As we were in a small group we got on well and had a real laugh with the other couples as well. Would highly recommmend to anyone looking for an NCT alternative.
Love what Lucy S said above. Nct teachers are invaluable.
Personally I think this article:kind of view stems from the new age – “I’ve got enough friends in my phone, I don’t need to go out and meet actually real live people and have real live conversations” which is becoming quite worrying. Especially in teaching our kids to explore new opportunities and meet new people.
I had such fun on my NcT course, laughed and laughed and it’s lovely to meet a new bunch of people. I love the fact that it makes bonds so strong (especially in London I’ve heard where family might not be close to hand) and future joint birthday parties and get togethers to see how much they’ve grown!
Today is the 4th birthday of one of my NCT mum’s surprise spontaneous early birth and I remember it like it was yesterday!
We’re not closest of friends but it was a great time and I would definitely recommend it. Generations of friendships have been made from it. Xx
We have 6 weeks till due date and did our NCT class a few months back. I definitely don’t feel it was biased but we got all the information I felt I’d lacked getting from books I’d read. I feel prepared for all events – from the natural birth I hope for, to detailed information and decisions on interventions, inductions and c-sections. Not only that but our NCT teacher did cover post birth well (though im not sure anything can prepare me for that) and I found the bathing and changing information useful for a newborn. The breastfeeding session was what we made it as a group – more a Q&A of questions we had surrounding it. That covered patterns, mixed feeding, where to go if you were struggling and choices. I came out of it feeling supported if i was to struggle and with more of an indication as to how to latch. My group itself, 3 have very recently now had their babies with the rest of us waiting and we talk and catch up when we can. It’s invaluable to have others on maternity leave at the same time to blow time away with but also to ask the real life questions at the same time. Not sure how close we’ll continue to be, see how it goes but I’m sure there are some I’ll be close with. I think it varies from course to course and group to group – I knew others who wish they hadn’t bothered and others who rely on their whatsapp group and love it.
I did Bump and Baby which is like NCT but a little bit cheaper as it’s a larger group. I think it may only be in London at the moment. It’s the best thing I did. A diverse group of women going through a life changing experience together. Over a year on and many of us are still in touch and supporting each other through the good and bad times. We’ve moved on from tired breakfasts to fun nights out and our babies now tear about together. We all had different births, different breastfeeding/ bottle feeding experiences and have different approaches to parenting. Some of us have gone back to work. Others haven’t. That’s the joy of it; the differences. There is always space in life for new friends.
We did the course on a whim, thinking it couldn’t do any harm, and for me it was absolutely brilliant. The content was very focussed on labour, which in hindsight I think doesn’t prepare you very well for the actual ‘having a newborn to look after’ part, but the group made it. Wouldn’t be without mine, a lovely local network of people who were my lifeline on mat leave and some of the wisest, smartest women I know. Meet ups are a bit harder now we’re all back at work, but round 2 of babies has just begun and we’re planning a group trip to Centre Parcs – all 30 of us!
This is great timing as I am umming and ahhing as to whether to do NCT or not but think I’m swaying towards doing it for the hoped support network it could provide where we live. x
I dithered over whether to join an NCT group. I liked the thought of it but was wondering if the money would be better spent on some piece of baby paraphernalia. I made a decision to do a weeks course but the only available dates were so close to my due date that in the end opted for the local NHS classes instead. As it was I made it to 2 of those as Molly was so early. They were useful in some respects but not somewhere I would have forged friendships. Instead I made friends with similar age babies via baby groups in my village and 6 years later we are all still firm friends with all the littles going to school together. It has been brilliant and although I might have had support in those early few weeks from an NCT group I’ve still ended up with the best friends through my own means. So I think even if you opt not to go you can still find a wonderful group of friends elsewhere. xx
We did NCT before the birth of our first baby, six months ago, and it was great. I actually thought the classes themselves were particularly good for the dads, and thinking about what they could do during the process of labour. I knew quite a lot anyway (thanks to my obsessive googling habit!) but it was also good for starting some discussions between us about what we wanted for and after the birth. I meet my NCT friends weekly and we have a really active whatsapp group which is great. I go to baby classes but lots of people go with their NCT friends so already know each other.
I was someone who was nearly swayed by all the NCT negativity out there but I’m so glad I went with my gut and did the classes before my daughter was born in 2015. I probably didn’t learn anything fundamental that I didn’t already know, although I didn’t feel there was any undue bias towards one approach or another – in fact, our instructor went out of her way to emphasise the uniqueness and variety of experiences we’d likely have in just our group alone. What I got from it was contact with a group of people who quickly became a lifeline when things got real after my daughter was born. Two and a bit years later, and that whatsapp conversation we started shortly after first meeting is still active on a near daily basis. There were 8 of us and we’re all still part of the conversation. It’s been one of the most supportive things and I couldn’t imagine the experience of becoming a mum without it. We don’t see each other as much as we’d like now we’re mostly all back at work but we did just recently manage a joint 2nd birthday party for the kids. Yes, we do mostly talk about the ‘babies’ when we’re all together but we all have friends who sit in different camps and offer us different things. And as time goes on our friendships deepen as we learn more about each others lives. There’s a huge amount of luck in NCT I reckon – so much depends on the teacher and the people you happen to be alongside. We lucked out, but I’d say to anyone sitting on the fence that it’s definitely worth having a go.
I think everything positive I have to say has been covered by everyone else already! I would highly recommend NCT courses to any first time parent. What I would add is the benefit it gave to my husband as well, he has made a really great group of ‘dad’ mates who have their own whatsapp group as well and act as their own support network. I know he really values this x
I did Antenatal courses with Noobies as their course was advertised at our hospital and is run by professional midwives. I remember thinking that I wanted to do the course because I wanted to make local friends who would be having babies at the same time as me. And we chose Noobies because the content was delivered by a midwife. My partner and I are very social and have a wide circle of friends but we knew this was something we wanted to do. We also did the NHS Antenatal class which was two mornings, and was a wealth of information and we have even kept friends from that. We did Noobies, specifically to make friends, and make friends we did! We have the most wonderful group of friends and I love chatting to them. We have a Whats’app Group and it’s so funny how six sessions together can bond you so much. I even am friends with the Noobies organiser and midwife who led our course. Both have been so personal and emailed me after we had our baby and the midwife who led our course even came to see us in hospital after we had had our baby. The course content was excellent, and very open and inclusive to all views of how we each perceived our journey ahead, and of course run with spot on professional knowledge. We felt very supported and very happy we did the course. In my opinion it absolutely isn’t exclusive of all your other friends either. Our baby is four months old now, we are still as social as ever with a wide circle of friends who we see for a night out or who come to visit our baby. And added to this, is our new circle of Noobies friends. It was exactly what we had hoped for and far more. I adore our new friends, and we learnt a lot and feel we have this big circle of love and support. It’s not that we need it either; it’s just this brilliiant added bonus. So, for us, it was the best decision ever to sign up.
I’m right now in the middle of an NCT Signature Antenatal course (have had one 2 hour evening session and one all day 10-5 session, with 4 more sessions to go) and am 32 weeks currently.
I can’t really comment on the friendships aspect yet as it’s all a bit new but the other 7 couples are all really lovely, all first time parents as well and our babies are all due within about 5 weeks of each other. One of the main reasons that me and Al signed up to NCT rather than doing the free NHS ones was because we were hoping to make some parent friends that are local. We have some close friends who are parents, but one couple live miles from us in Wales and the other already has a 1 year old. All our other friends are spread all over the place or at different life stages.
Content wise, I’ve found it so far to be really informative and our teacher has offered a really balanced view even though she is clearly passionate about empowering choice and positive births. The first sessions we were all asked what content we would like to cover, so she is tailoring the sessions to what we all want to get out of it. I’ve found it really helpful for getting Al involved in the process, as whilst I’m an avid Googler and have been reading up on various things the course has involved him and has specifically targeted ways that he can be involved in labour. I think it will give him a real confidence boost to know what is happening at each stage, and how he can help with things like advocating for me if I need him to and interacting with the medical staff. It’s also got us talking as a couple about what we want from birth and afterwards and we’ve started the beginnings of a birth plan together.
Still to come in our course is covering C-Sections, what happens at actual birth (pushing, birthing placenta), what to expect post partum and caring for a new born. We also have the breast feeding session in the new year.
Based on what we’ve experienced so far, I’d definitely recommend an NCT course for confidence building for first timers!
I have to say I did our NCT course (I think it is definitely a southern England/London thing from what I hear!) but it was worth every penny for me. Yes I made some friends who I don’t keep in touch with as much as I would like, but it was fantastic for having a group of people going through exactly the same things at the same time and sharing that experience. The course was brilliant, not at all preachy (although that definitely depends on your teacher I think) – we covered all types of birth, drugs etc. And an awful lot about birthing positions which wasn’t something I’d even considered, and which really helped me in my labour itself. We did have a specific breastfeeding class, but it was held by someone else and you could not go if you didn’t want to. I went to a separate feeding class at my hospital (NHS) which was far better and definitely more informative, definitely suggest looking it up if you are keen to try breastfeeding as the detail was brilliant in terms of how you get a tiny baby to feed, not just positions.
I also joined a group called “Match Up Mums”, not sure if they are still accepting new people sadly but I definitely recommend that too if it becomes available, essentially NCT-mum friends without any of the course material. These mums are still my daily/weekly saviours, we message all the time unlike my NCT friends, sharing experiences and becoming real friends. But my NCT lot are all having second children at the same time, so no doubt we will reconnect on that front again.
I would definitely recommend NCT, actually not necessarily for making “mum friends” but for added confidence and making you think about things you may not have considered when thinking about a birth plan. And also practicing how to put on a nappy!!! Silly as that sounds none of us had a clue about which way they went… There are loads of different types of courses, we went for a two-weekend condensed version that suited us really well. And actually the dads connected really well, I think people forget about the dads but it is important for them too. My husband has curry nights with the dads every now and again, which is lovely for him too (and of course dads to meet up with for play dates).
I would just like to give a shout out to our local nct group – separate from the paid for antenatal classes – this is completely volunteer run and led and they organise loads of events for mum’s and babies/toddlers, from playgroups, roll n stroll, days out, the sling and cloth nappy libraries etc and of course the nearly new sale. In the summer holidays they put on an event nearly every day. They do amazingly well considering they also have jobs and lives of their own. They helped me so much when I felt very lonely on maternity leave.
To anyone who didn’t enjoy the antenatal course and was put off nct, please don’t let it put you off joining in the local group, it’s a completely different kettle of fish!
I did NCT two and a half years ago with my first baby and I’m glad I did. The eldest of 4 kids with big gaps meant that I knew quite a bit about looking after babies – how to put on a nappy etc. But it gave some much useful info about birthing and how your husband can help and their role. It was so useful for my husband to prepare him (although from farming background does help!!!)
They did promote breastfeeding – after all it is the best for babies in most circumstances – but also gave some advice on combi feeding. Interesting most of the group did breastfeed or combi feed – I think only 1 out of 8 did exclusively bottle. So for this reason it is good they cover breastfeeding in detail. They did say where else to get help if you were struggling. It wasn’t a judgey thing at all just helpful.
It wasn’t all ‘natural is the only way’ but generally most people I think would like a ‘natural’ birth where possible. The course leaders just gave us our options and courage that we could ask for or not for things (eg water birth, loud music, dimmed lights, ALL the drugs) if you wanted! For me, there wasn’t much content on what would happen immediately you pop the baby out (haha) – I managed ok on entinox then had to have a spinal in the end after delivery for a bad tear – we didn’t really talk about things like that which would have been useful.
I made a lovely group of friends who I still see regularly and we’re on our second babies now.
Also our bf course leader became my hypnobirthing guru for baby no 2 – worth the money for Nct just to meet her – my angel.
So even if you have a group of ‘real’ friends with babies, if you can afford NCT classes I would recommend.
I did NCT classes 5 years ago before my first daughter and I’m probably more in agreement with the Grazia article than most of the commentators here. It was a small class with only 5 sets of parents and we we were spread geographically across 20 miles so not in any way neighbours. The other couples were not the kind of people I’d socialise with normally and we were such a ramshackle bunch that it was very obvious we would never really get on. There was one militant eco warrior who thought pampers were the devil, one privilidged trust fund girl who thought Mother’s who worked were horrendous, and one poor girl who was having to go back to work at 6 weeks (due to her husband being made redundant) who faced the wrath of the other two!. It was not a fun, supportive group!
The class was ok, and we definitely learnt about c sections and drugs, but the teachers insistence that we should simply stand our ground and “demand a birthing pool be made available” was laughable. And don’t even get me started on the terrible breast feeding instruction. My poor friend called the NCT helpline when she was struggling and they told her they’d send someone out in a week and in the meantime “buy a pretty bra to make it more fun”. Not something someone with pus filled nipples wanted to hear!
In the end I made most of my friends at the local breast feeding support group. They were local, supportive and the kind of women who id happily share a glass of wine with as much as a cup of tea and a biscuit. I’m still great friends with them now nearly five years on x
Wow, I haven’t read this article (yet) but always find it funny how people think they can form an opinion of something they haven’t experienced. We did NCT and were so glad we did. Two years on we’re still in regular contact with other families in our group with the mums and children regularly meeting up and chatting on Whatsapp. Our class was EXCELLENT with a balance of information, enabling us to go away feeling informed about all aspects of birth, preparation for the birth and beyond. Like another lady in the comments above, we also acted out a c section (in terms of who’s who, not…you know) so if the need arose we knew exactly what to expect. One of the girls did have to have one and said she was so glad we’d done that.
Going to have to find that article, though I think it will make me cross.
I’ll admit I thought I had better things to spend my money on in the lead up to having a baby. It isn’t for everyone I’m sure but I’d suggest people look into what it’s all about for themselves before criticising! My step mum in law said to me when her daughter was expecting her first that “she didn’t need those classes, she’s got loads of friends already with babies.” She admitted to me more recently that she found it hard being at home with a baby when all her friends were at work. The best bit, I find, is that there’s usually someone around with time for a cuppa and a chat. There’s no harm in that now, is there?!
I’ve had a really positive experience of NCT and echo all of the positive comments above.
Something not many people have touched on is how useful it can be for your partner. James learnt so much on the course and just as us mums used our WhatsApp group to help us through so did the boys. They do treat NCT as a bit of a drinking club though and decided a heavy night out together a couple of weeks before the babies were due was a great idea – they were wrong!!!
I will absolutely hold my hand up and say I could initially relate to the Grazia article. I just didn’t picture myself as an NCT convert, particularly the area I live where, for want of a better word, the mums can be a bit snooty if you aren’t part of their “set”!! But after encouragement from some friends, my Mum and Mother-in-Law I decided to search out an alternative to NCT as I just didn’t feel that was for me, but also didn’t want to write off what myself and my partner could potentially gain from a class with people in the same boat as us. My own midwife recommended an antenatal class that was run by NHS Midwives to me that she was actually going to be teaching at, Noobies Antenatal. As soon as I looked at their site I knew it was for me. Noobies seemed so much fresher and personal than NCT did, and the fact it was run by Midwives from the hospital I knew I would give birth at just made so much sense for us. From the first session we haven’t looked back. Noobies gave us all the information and support we needed going into what we now know can be an unpredictable situation. If it hadn’t been for Noobies I wouldn’t have felt half as confident or comfortable going into parenthood. The friends I met at Noobies have made the sometimes dark times you face as a new Mum so much brighter. In my humble opinion NCT needs a shake up and it’s groups like Noobies that are leading the way in bringing antenatal classes into a new modern light.
I really loved my NCT course in 2014 and I’m still in touch with all the parents. Our teacher Sam was super lovely, not at all judgemental and really helped us to make informed choices. Hannah who ran the breastfeeding session was amazing – definitely not pushy! She came out to me on day three, when I was a crying mess and patiently sat with me until I managed to latch my baby without pain. She also supported me with my second baby this year. I feel very sad when I read negative things about the NCT as they were the most helpful thing we did.
We didn’t do NCT, mainly because the course dates and times didn’t work for us locally. I had also heard mixed reviews. We did the NHS antenatal one day course which was ok but no use for
Meeting people. I was very conscious of not doing NCT and so made a real effort to meet other pregnant people in advance of having the baby, mainly through work. I also researched local baby groups as well in advance of baby arriving. I then went along to a couple of baby groups and a breastfeeding group where I met other mums who have become friends. I have been amazed at how the shared experience of new motherhood means making friends is suddenly so much easier.
Friends who have done NCT have sometimes found it amazing for meeting people, others not so much. It’s hit and miss. And as with everything so much depends on the teacher I think. Xx
We booked too late to get onto the NCT classes in our area as they were all fully booked – Cue irrational, pregnancy hormone induced crying session.
I had heard great things and was so disappointed to miss out.
Just to encourage people that there are many other baby groups around and plenty of ways to meet other new Mum’s. My advice is get out to a group or two ASAP as a tiny squishy new born is a great ice breaker and be brave. I took my MIL the first time I went to a group a) because she drove me – I’d had a csection and b) she could make conversation with a lamp post so she was brilliant to have with me to get chatting to people.
There were people who I shared that season with and have very limited contact with now, some I see maybe 2 or 3 times a year and some I see weekly now we’re on baby number two but All of those relationships have been beneficial and helped get me through The first few months of motherhood.
I found my NCT experience is very similar to a lot of the lovely comments here: a support group of women with whom you can feel immidatiely connected to. Our WhatsApp is frequent and although I’ve moved away, they all still meet up at least once a week.
I would add that while I knew a large amount of what we were taught, my husband did not and our wonderful course leader ensured that the men were neither overwhelmed or bored by the content. He is not medically inclined and to be given ideas as to his role in the birth was incredible as it meant I could get on with ‘it’.
Finally, we were given a very balanced talk on all different types of birth and both breastfeeding and bottle feeding were discussed equally although the focus did naturally fall on breastfeeding as all of us (out of 8) had said we would like to try it.
In summary- loved it!
I’ve done to nct classes on both children and i must say the experience was excellent. I would recommend it to all, just go and see if you like it, if you dont you dont have to go again.
I dont understand why the promotion of breastfeeding is a bad thing – if anything it gave me more belief in my body and myself! It helped my husband and I to realise the effort and struggles we were likely to face so that we didnt feel like the only ones struggling. The friendship network was invaluable (no matter how supportive other mums are – unless they have a newborn they wont be up at 3 am like your NCT buddies). I had NO idea about birthing types and my NCT yoga helped me to have inner confidence as well as know my options, our group NCT classes helped my husband to understand how he could help and come to terms with his life changes too.
I didn’t go down the NCT route but through other classes and non baby friend connections I have met the best group of girlfriends I could have ever wished for. I had moved to a new area and knew one or two people but generally didn’t meet anyone new, until we had our first daughter 4 year’s ago. I was introduced to an already established group of friends who regularly met for lunch post play group weekly, I am generally a shy person and I find it hard to put myself out there but they were so lovely, plus they had wine over lunch, I knew there and then they were keepers!! 4 Year’s on, most of us are on baby #2 and we’re all still just as close. I love those ladies.
I would say never discount the opportunity for new friendships, it may not work out that way but what have you lost by trying. X
I realise I am suuuuuper late to this party. But just in case anyone happens to see my comment I just wanted to say that this post and all these comments are super helpful for me in making up my mind about whether the classes/friendships are worth £200.
This blog is a gold mine of information for me 🙂