I was OUTRAGEOUSLY unrealistic about how quickly I’d ‘bounce’ back to my pre-baby body. Elle turned one a few weeks ago (Happy first birthday to all of the other January babies out there – I know we’ve got a few) and honestly – it’s only just now that I’m starting to look and feel like myself again.
My labour with Elle was very straightforward and I hadn’t torn my stomach muscles, so there was absolutely no reason why I couldn’t start exercising again after I’d had the OK from my GP. But it was literally the last thing that I wanted to do. My boobs were rock hard and painful, my nipples were raw and blistered – the thought of them rubbing against a sports bra was enough to 1) make me want to throw up and 2) question my friend Charlie, who was about to do a 5k Race for Life with her new born premmie baby in a running buggy (I know, she’s an absolute hero) how on earth exercise was even possible with breastfeeding boobs?!
But, the breastfeeding hell did get easier, and at 12 weeks I joined a buggy bootcamp exercise class. It was great – it got me outside in the fresh air, with other equally shell-shocked new mums, and kind of kickstarted me into realising that exercise with the baby was possible, you just had to make it work! I did this class twice a week, with occasional runs for a good few months and still I felt that nothing was shifting. I say runs – I mean wheezing jogs around the block feeling like the heavy, lumpy, lethargic body I was carrying wasn’t my own – but it was making me feel better – there’s nothing like a good sweat in the fresh air for lifting your mood, which I really needed.
If you breastfeed, you’ll probably be told it helps you lose weight. As far as I’m concerned, this is a big fat lie. It helps your uterus (painfully) contract back to size it should be (without a tiny human in there) but it also makes you want to eat ALL the food. I have never needed to eat so much before in my life – I literally could not consume enough. You also spend a huge amount of time just sitting on the sofa or in bed feeding the baby, and we all know sitting on your bum is not a great way to get in shape (especially not when you have a jar of Nutella propped up on the baby and a spoon in the other hand)…
Looking back, as Elle was weaned onto proper food and fed much less frequently, my appetite definitely shrank. This, combined with the fact that I started to fit in some yoga or stretching everyday (even if just for 10 minutes) to sort out my crippled back, slowly made me start to feel that I was in tune with my body again. But still, it wasn’t until just before Christmas, when Elle was around 11 months, that I went for one of my runs and felt like my limbs, muscles, lungs and heart were actually working together properly for the first time.
I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding (an experience I’ll share soon) and again I’ve seen another drop in my appetite, my posture is significantly better and over the coming months I’d really like to start toning up.
So after just over a year, my ‘baby’ weight has finally shifted – but my body is by no means the same as it was. My boobs are unrecognisable (there’s genuinely a chunk missing from one nipple), I don’t think my hips will ever return to where they were before, and I have to be much more careful about my diet now, but I’m finally feeling normal again. It only took over a year! And I do have a very adorable little person to show for it 😉
If anyone else is feeling a bit miserable about their bodies right now, please don’t beat yourself up about it, do what you need to do (by which I mean throw yourself into it, or just sit on the sofa and watch box sets – whatever works for you) but be patient, and I promise, you will feel normal again. In fact, you will feel better than normal – you will feel empowered over what your body can do, us girls really are incredible creatures.
Fern x
(P.S. I found my buggy exercise class on Facebook, it seems to be a ‘thing’ so have a search of your local area and see what you can find – there are indoor classes too and you can take little ones of all ages. We also did a great post on Rock My Style about at home workouts, so check that out if you’re looking for something you can fit in while your baby sleeps (although if you just want to sleep while your baby sleeps, I will not judge you, in fact I might just join you…)
Image by Anna Clarke Photography
My little one is 6 months next week and I still haven’t formally exercised. However I do live in crystal palace which is very hilly and has a lovely big park. I also have a baba that does not sleep very well except In his pram. The result is I walk on average 2.5-3 miles a day with the pushchair. I have to say I am back in my post baby jeans – just. I agree about breastfeeding- my appetite is bigger than when I was pregnant. Now he is starting to wean I’m becoming more conscious about what I eat- I don’t want him to watch me stuff my face with biscuits! I don’t have my post baby body back at all, I have a lot of toning to do. I am determined to start doing exercise DVDs a couple of times a week, and my NCT friends and I are starting park run together. It’s just so tempting to … Well not! My husband just keeps reminding me my body produced and fed a human for the past 15 months- it’s awesome.
We used to have picnics after our class – that definitely incentivised us!!! Plus it was really cute when the babies started eating too! And yep it does help you think about what you’re eating too, then it gets to the stage where you have to eat the chocolate and biscuits while hiding from them!
Your husband is so right and when it’s miserable it really is the last thing you want to do! Hopefully the Spring will be better for motivation levels ?
Just want to say don’t worry about your boobs. Mine were quite deflated after I stopped breastfeeding but they did return to their pre pregnancy state after a few months. Took me ages to lose weight like over 2 years but I did it with slimming world in the end. Pregnant again now and feel liberated from body worries as I know I can lose the weight again.
Thanks Kathryn, that’s made me feel better! They weren’t massive before, but I’d definitely like them to get some shape back!! Being liberated sounds like an excellent approach to it all x
A timely post! I’ve got a 4 1/2 month old baby boy who is beautiful but I am about 1.5 stone overweight 🙁 I’ve just started exercising again which is so important, but my body just isn’t the same after my pregnancy and c section. Think I’ll have to come to terms with this and the fact that, despite my healthy eating efforts, I am not going to lose a stone before I turn 30 in March!
Hi Kerri. If it makes you feel better it took me a LONG time to to loose the baby weight. You are only 4 months in so don’t panic. Just as I felt normal I got pregnant again and now nearly 5 years later I’m still half a stone of where I want to be. I’ve tried every diet going, done copious exercise so have resigned myself to the fact that perhaps my shape has completely changed. That is what I will tell myself. I seem to be a different shape! You will get there, just take it easy and happy 30th for March! xx
I’m totally with you about being a different shape! I was actually at pre baby weight 24 hours after Nut arrived but my god it’s all in different places! ( Lower tummy and boobs) I kinda miss my bum!! Just Pilates-ing to try and tone the bugger up now!
It probably took me best part of a year to get back to where I started too (plus some stretch marks and a sad belly button). I did laugh it off when Anna was two weeks and I was asked how far along I was but it did worry me and I was quite determined to exercise but it really was the last thing I wanted to do. So like Anna I went on endless walks and I’m sure they helped. I’m useless at running at the best of times and there was no way I could start with if then. I did some mum and baby yoga which was nice and very social but it was so gentle it wasn’t going to do much in terms of getting me into my old clothes. I’m looking forward to your post on stopping breastfeeding Fern as I’m still feeding my 18 months old girl and while I was hoping to let her decide when to stop she looks like she never will!
I’m in exactly the same boat and I’m newly pregnant again so really want to stop soon, it seems impossible though at the moment! Before I had a baby I naively just assumed you just stopped when you wanted to and the baby would accept it… x
Hahaha Kat I love the expression ‘sad belly button’ SO true!
Well it was very much baby led, the stopping of the feeding, and totally ridiculously I felt guilty and that I should still be feeding her! The never ending mummy guilt continues…X
Great post and great to hear different experiences. Let’s just say that the first run at 6 weeks post baby was a disaster. Who would have thought I would need a new sports bra for the milk makers? Anyone with a bit of nous but not me!
After said purchase it all got better and 11 months ish on I am up to 10k distance and all the weight is gone save the last 2kg or so- probably one on each boob! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
But a word of warning- I don’t know if this is scientifically tested but my running buggy states that it is not to be used under six months at running pace due to shaking risk. I’m guessing the risk is tiny but we waited until S was a heavy lump to go out at full pelt around the lanes.
Looking forward to the ending feeding post- the time is coming here too x
Gosh, I’m impressed with you running with a buggy. I can only just about manage 5k on my own at a very slow pace!! You are super woman x
Honestly its a snails pace with the buggy! And you could so do a longer distance, I only got into running as a January resolution a few years back but it’s so satisfying. If you can run steadily for an hour ish you can do a 10k. Sport Relief is coming ??
Ha ha. That’s what my husband says. I give up very easily! Will aim to increase it little by little. I’m ok when I go regularly but I generally only get to go at the weekend as my husband works away so can’t really leave the girls (or push a 2 and a 4 year old around with me!!). I’ll make it my mission xx
I didn’t think I’d need a new sports bra – you’re not the only one ? The one I bought was gigantic and I honestly didn’t think it would fit – it did ? Who knew having a baby was like having a boob job?! X
In amongst that ramble I did want to say how important I feel exercise has been for my metal health- just an hour for a class or a run makes such a difference. Well worth the initial worry at shoving baby at husband and dashing out of the door!
I’ve just joined the cult of slimming world to get the baby weight off. The initial swelling etc has finally gone down after 3 months. However, due to our world falling apart after losing Alexandra after 36 hours of life andrew and I weren’t looking after ourselves properly by not cooking and ordering pizza after pizza online. Now I think I’m in the right headspace to get the weight off and lost 5lbs in 2 weeks and 2nd weigh in tomorrow. My target is 10 stone and I’ve got just over 2 stone to go. I keep reminding myself that I made a very big girl of 9lb 15oz and I’m only 5’2 so I was always going to have to work hard after to get the weight off. Plus the extra weight won’t help me get pregnant again!
So sorry to hear about Alexandra. I can’t even begin to imagine and send you all my love. I think I too would have stopped caring about my diet so I think you are doing amazingly well. I did Slimming World and it is the only thing that worked for me. I lost a stone in about 4 months but then I kind of stopped. Mainly as I got back in to my clothes and kept going off plan! I have been meaning to start it again for the last year but keep failing so need some serious motivation to shift the last half a stone xx
Oh Claire, I’m so sorry. It sounds like you have reacted in exactly the same way anyone would react going through something so traumatic. Your own health is very much sidelined as you just try to hold it together. Well done on starting to look after yourself though. Sending lots of love to you and your husband from all the RMF team and if you ever feel like you need to vent please do contact us X
Weigh in revealed 4lbs off so 9lbs in total. Not a very good weekend though as it was 4 months since we had and then lost Alexandra – and those blasted motherhood nominations on Facebook really aren’t helping!
So sorry for your loss. You have all my admiration and respect.
A great post! My little girl is now 11 months and it is only the last few months that I have reclaimed my body and feel physically like me again. I managed to lose my baby weight through walking everywhere and a wonderful yoga classwhere baby came too. I did try buggy exercise classes but I personally found them too stressful – my daughter always wanted feeding or attention! I cannot recommend walking more as the fresh air was brilliant for both of us and it is nice and gentle (even when walking briskly!) on the joints. I did get a lecture from my physio friend on the dangers of joint damage if you exercise hard in the first 3 months as you still have relaxin in your bodies – so please be careful ladies and find what works for you. Now the weights off – it’s time for tummy toning…!! This years project xxx
Absolutely agree that walking is a great way to ease your body back into movement!
What’s your plan for tummy toning?! I’m thinking lots of Pilates? x
Great post, I didn’t put that much weight on in pregnancy (due to sickness till 18 weeks then heartburn for the rest which meant I couldn’t eat a lot!) so once the baby was born I felt like I only had a few pounds to lose and got complacent… Cue months of eating whatever I wanted and doing no exercise and I think I actually gained weight! I still haven’t lost it 19 months on… I find it so hard to motivate myself to exercise these days, by the time my little girls in bed I just want to eat my tea and watch telly!
Off topic but I would really appreciate a post soon on stopping breastfeeding – I’m very ready to stop feeding at 19 months (never even thought I’d feed this long) but my daughter is having none of it and I really don’t have a clue how to stop without causing a LOT of tears and tantrums ? X
I know Sarah!!! I always find the evenings the hardest to resist the treats and if I don’t exercise first thing in the morning it just doesn’t happen – but with a baby that’s a lot easier said than done! Although I do really enjoy a gentle yoga session in the evenings and sleep much better after doing it, as opposed to eating half a packet of chocolate hobnobs in front of the Kardashians (!) it’s just getting into the habit…again easier said than done though.
Yes the breastfeeding thing is a funny one, I’ll speak to the other girls who fed for a longer time period and see if we can create a post with our stories of stopping X
I’ve started back exercising and have been fortunate to find a gym I can take Felix to! It’s an independent one run by a personal trainer and I can walk to it from my house! I tend to go early evening and wheel Felix to the back I his pram and then spend half an hour doing bootcamp!
So far 9lbs off! It’s lovely to have found a solution where I can just bring him along (a lot easier than finding sitters etc) and I am rubbish at motivating myself !
That sounds amazing Vicky! I’ve read as well that if your little ones see you exercise, they are more likely to want to be active later on in life so it can only be a good thing! X
Loved this post, it helps to see that everyone is in the same boat. Did anyone excersize during pregnancy? If so, what type of excersize and did it help?
I swam twice a week and did yoga weekly until a week before I gave birth- not sure it helped afterwards but definitely stopped me going stir crazy. Always thought I’d be like Paula Radcliffe and run into the third trimester but even at 8 weeks gone I kept having awful stitches so stopped.
I swam as much as possible and did yoga too Lucy! Would absolutely recommend doing both of these things Cay as they are gentle but swimming still allows you to do some cardio – and keeps your heart rate from going too high which is the problem with running (I think – but I’m not an expert by any means!) I stopped running really early on as I had bad sickness in the first trimester then following that it just felt really alien to my body to be running!! Do what feels right for you though x
With my first I carried on running till about 14 weeks then did my normal workouts at home or the cross trainer most of the way through. Towards the end I swapped to lower impact or just the cross trainer. The key is not to get too out of puff/raise your heartbeat too much near the end but if you already exercise it is fine. Just don’t start anything too different. I found it really helped and I felt fit and well. With my second I just didn’t have time due to working/looking after a toddler/being generally shattered!! I did what I could but nowhere near as much and I so wish I had made myself. x
I too was one of those unfortunates who found breastfeeding made absolutely zero impact on weight loss. Even when I cut calories down to a minimum the scale refused to budge! It’s only started to come off as breastfeeding tapered away. And so slowly too! I just wanted to say that with regards to exercise its so important not to go overboard. I certainly had itchy feet to get back to it and was flabbergasted when my gp advised me to wait six months until resuming a more intense regime. Well, 15 months post partum and my back still seizes up if I do too much. This week I had to admit that my favourite exercise class – step, is doing me more harm than good ? Obviously my case is not the norm but it’s so important for every new mum to let their body heal first however long that might take.
Would definitely recommend buggy/pram fit or similar. Great to meet other mums, for you and baby to get fresh air in all sorts of weather and to have some me time. I also do mummy and baby Pilates which has helped me get back into shape after 6 months. Still got half a stone to go but means I can fit into my pre pregnancy clothes and feel confident for when I start back at work next month.