I am probably not the best person to talk about post pregnancy body changes mainly as I have never been happy with my body. Not even when I was a young whipper snapper. I now look back at photos from when I was 17 and realise just how skinny I was and how much I wish I looked like that now. Since having the girls it’s been a bit of a battle to get to a figure I’m happy with and I’m still not there. I’m not sure I ever will be.
A few weeks back the team talked about our pregnancy body changes and how we felt about them. Today we are being honest about our post pregnancy body changes. I’m hoping that by sharing a mixed view from the team it will show you that everyone is different. The lucky few ‘ping’ straight back so to speak whilst other (like me) take quite a long time to get back to what you might call normal. I think most of all take reassurance that it isn’t a quick thing. Don’t put pressure on yourself as you need to concentrate on that little one of yours.
What has been the biggest change to your body/what one area has changed the most since giving birth?
Lolly:Initially I would have said my knees which painfully ached from birth all the way through until ten months after Hector was born – it got to the stage where I had to stop exercising because I was crying with each stride I took. Oh it was agony. Now that everything has settled down I’d say that my stomach is probably the most different; I was lucky enough not to get stretch marks but there’s definitely a spare tyre hanging around. My upper arms are definitely chunkier too; I’m pretending it’s muscle from lugging Hector around…
Lottie: I’d say my overall shape has changed. I’ve always been quite pear shaped but my hips are definitely wider (that’s two kids for you) and even my top half and ribs seem larger. I’ve always had a little tum so that is no different and is actually a lot less wobbly than I expected. Despite being the most toned I’ve been in a long time due to lots of exercise I just seem different. Bigger in general I’d say. I think a lot of it is the fact that I now pick a lot at the girls food and have little willpower. I can easily resist a biscuit but a bit of left over fish finger is another matter.
Fern: Biggest change for me is definitely my boobs. A year and a bit of breastfeeding has not been kind to them. I’ve always been very small chested, but now I’ve got practically nothing. Especially as when I start to increase my exercise levels or watch what I’m eating, they are the first thing to go. (I really wish someone would tell that to my thighs…)
Lorna: I have noticed the biggest change in my hips and bottom. Before having the boys I was very pear shaped and was a different size on my top to my bottom. Once the boys had both arrived I started walking with them on a daily basis. Mainly because if they were strapped up in the pram I could cope. I also changed my diet slightly eating a lot more wholemeal pasta/rice, fish and white meat. It wasn’t until I returned to work and tried on a few of my old work clothes that I noticed they were all too big for me and how much my shape had changed. I’d actually lost my pear shape and was now more of a lean column. Unfortunately since giving birth to Anabelle my body shape has reverted back to being pear shape, so I have to get used to dressing my body shape again.
How long did it take you to get back to feeling like you?
Lolly: It was probably around the eleven month mark when I truly began to feel attractive again although Ste regularly told me that I was being silly and that I was beautiful. Bless him. I remember dancing a little jig on the spot when I first got into my pre-pregnancy jeans at about five months after giving birth and then inwardly cheering every time a new (old) piece of my pre-Hector wardrobe was comfortable enough to wear. It was about this time too that my knees stopped aching and Hector began to regularly sleep through without needing a feed and the extra sleep was like Christmas had come early.
Lottie: In truth I still don’t. Probably around the twelve month mark I was feeling better about myself but 3 years on after having Alice I am still half a stone heavier than I was pre-pregnancy and I can definitely tell. Also getting pregnant again before Molly was one meant that I stood no chance! That said after having Molly the midwives couldn’t get over how quickly my body, and mainly my stomach, recovered. It was almost instant as apparently I have good stomach muscles (who knew?). It was quite short lived though as I then spent the next few months eating chocolate biscuits!
Fern: I didn’t feel like myself again until Elle was about 14/15 months. When I was breastfeeding I found it really difficult to lose any weight or tone up. Once I’d stopped, it then took a couple of months for my body to start really reacting to exercise. To be honest, I’ve still got a pair of pre pregnancy jeans that I can’t get in to and I’m not sure I ever will – my hips just won’t let me.
Lorna: In between pregnancies for Elliott & Joseph I don’t think I had time to get back to normal before I fell pregnant again. But when Joseph was born I was determined to get back to my old self, or as close to it as I possibly could. Joseph was nearly a year before I felt like myself again. The process wasn’t as quick with Anabelle. I breastfed her for a year and didn’t really have time to watch what I ate or exercise. To this day I’m still not happy with how I look, but am becoming a lot more accepting that this is how I’m supposed to be now.
How do you feel about your post pregnancy body?
Lolly: Apprehensive that it will never quite return to the way it once was. Of course I’m fooling myself and know deep down that it won’t ever truly be the same but it would be great to not have such a wobbly tummy. If only I’d appreciated my pre-pregnancy body that little bit more!
Lottie: I have never liked my body, ever. I think the only time I came near was when I contracted a stomach bug on honeymoon and ended up being the thinnest I’ve been since I was about 10. Needless to say I still don’t like my post pregnancy body. I would love to say that I can think stuff it, I am what I am, but unfortunately my mind doesn’t work that way. I will just keep battling to get back in shape in some constant yoyo of various diets and exercise. I’ve had some good success with Slimming World but now am concentrating on just upping my exercise as I figure if I’m not going to be thinner then I may as well be toned.
Fern: Overall I’m ok with my post pregnancy body. It took me a really long time to feel normal mentally post-partum so I’ve tried not to be too tough on my physical state. I’d like to lose a little more weight from my tummy and my thighs but that’s mainly about being fit and not feeling bulky when I’m chasing around after Elle and the dog.
Lorna: The one thing I was most shocked about after giving birth was how awful my tummy looked. I knew my uterus needed time to retract back to its original size, but the initial bath after giving birth to Elliott seeing my flabby belly was a huge shock. Mostly I preferred my body after I’d given birth to the boys and gone on a healthy eating journey . I still have a long way to go to achieve happiness after giving birth to Anabelle, but I’m getting there.
As always please do share your thoughts below.
Image by Anna at We Are The Clarkes.
This has made me feel so much better this morning, thank you ladies. You all always look so gorgeous on RMW and RMF and Instagram. It took me a year and a bit to get back to a comfy size 10 and my pre pregnancy weight…only to get pregnant again! I e always had to work hard and exercise to keep my curves in check so being pregnant and not being able to excercise in the same high impact way has a huge effect. I’m 30 weeks now and my back and ribs have definitely got wider- how is that even possible?! Along with everything else that is….hoping running around with two will help it to come off after. Thanks for your honesty and sharing! X
You are welcome Ashley and thank you too. It’s so tough when you can’t exercise the same amount but two will definitely keep you on your toes! Good luck for baby’s arrival xx
I really struggled to lose the weight after having Freddie. I probably put on a bit too much whilst pregnant and despite starting to run and eating really healthily five months after birth it still wouldn’t all shift. I don’t know if having a c-section and not being able to breastfeed had an affect on my weight, but there was no pinging for me!
My boobs stayed bigger and my tummy has never fully gone back (I always used to have a pretty flat tum). What made the difference for me is deciding to try for baby number two, I was determined to be at pre-pregnancy weight before we started. Work were running a weight loss competition (all light hearted) and we had partners, maybe it was the thought of not wanting to let someone down but week by week I steadily lost 1-2 lbs and ended up weighing less than my pre-pregnancy weight. So I got there but it took two years to feel good about myself.
About to have my second baby now (two weeks left eek) so we’ll see how it goes this time, but I’ll probably be kinder to myself as I know I can get there. Plus I’ve definitely put on less weight and hope to be more successful with breastfeeding. I do hope my boobs go down though as they’re massive (hubby would disagree!)
A lot of people I know do just ping back but that doesn’t happen for others like me. So yes your body will be different but you can still love it. If I could get there in the end anyone can.
xx
Exciting times with baby no two. My work also ran a ‘fat club’ (totally in jest I might add) and it was great as it gave me motivation. Problem was at weigh ins I kept having put on weight which was a tad embarrassing until I had to admit to them all that I wasn’t fat I was pregnant!! Good luck for babies arrival xx
After having my son 20 months ago, it took me about 10 months to get back to feeling a bit more confident within myself again (after a few visits to weight watchers!) I actually went nearly a stone lighter than before I got pregant. It was kind of my minds way of saying “yes, you’ve definitely lost the baby weight”. I’ve stablised now at my usual pre pregnancy weight without being strict on a diet. But even though my weight is the same, my love handles are definitely bigger, hips wider and mammobags ALOT lower! ?
I saw a trailor for a documentary doing the rounds on Facebook called Embrace. It literally made me cry, so I better not watch the actual film! There has never been a time in my life that during that moment I don’t think that I am fat but when I look back on old pictures of myself I wish I looked that slim now. Why can’t I appreciate it in that moment? Unfortunately I don’t think I ever will and this makes me incredibley sad. I think even the trailor sends a good message, I just wish I could ’embrace’ it myself but I don’t think I ever will ? xx
I’m with you Jessica, I really wish I could embrace myself too but I think it is too engrained not to which is hard. I’m off to look up this film now. I’ll get the tissues ready though in case there are tears. xxx
Sounds like looking at old photos thinking how good we looked even though we never felt that at the time is a big recurring theme. I do exactly the same and never quite manage to embrace my current form. I got a bit chubbier all over I think. Also a pear before pregnancy I feel I am even more pear like with some added padding around my rib cage which I never used to have. I breastfed for over two years and can’t say it was a massive help with losing weight, 2 weeks no breastfeeding has done wonders for my breasts already – they are breast shaped again! I never thought that would happen. In all fairness motherhood has been worse for my figure than the pregnancy itself. Sleep deprivation induced snacking on anything unhealthy, finishing Anna’s meals and the occasional double dinner as I obviously can’t let Anna or my husband eat on their own has had its very tangible impact.
I’m the same that it’s the motherhood rather than pregnancy. I am always picking at the girls dinners and we have so many more snacks in the house now. Even so called ‘healthy’ ones are not the greatest for me. I think you are being very honourable not letting them eat alone though, excellent mothering skills! xxx
I had four miscarriages at around 12 weeks before our ‘lucky number 5’ and after each one I’d put on a little extra weight so I was probably about a stone over my original pre-pregnancy weight before I really got started. I also suffered with near constant nausea so snacked a lot during my pregnancies and definitely made the most of the NCT cake catch-ups on maternity leave . It look me about 9 months to lose the baby weight but I never got back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m now almost 20 weeks pregnant (this will be my last pregnancy, as you can tell I’m not very good at it) and I’m determined to lose the baby weight a bit quicker this time. I’m being a bridesmaid six months after the birth and I really want to look and feel good. I’m realistic that I won’t be at my pre-pregnancy weight and I’ll probably still be breastfeeding but I would like to think I can be more focused on staying away from the cake on this maternity leave!
NCT cake is the worst. We carried on Monday morning baby/cake club for nearly 4 years which did nothing to help my diet! Good luck with the bridesmaid duties, you’ll look fantastic xx
I was lucky and my body somehow shed 80-90% of the baby weight naturally very quickly and was back in pretty much my whole pre-pregnancy wardrobe by about 5 months (apart from some dresses that didn’t do up around the rib cage as my bras are still a whole back size bigger). However, once I got back into my clothes I never bothered to lose those last few pounds because I knew I was planning to get pregnant again this year, and since getting pregnant I’ve been the hungriest person in the world and haven’t been holding back on the cakes and biscuits so I’m definitely going to have some pounds to shed in the spring! I think we’re stopping at 2 kids, so I’m planning to put a bit more effort into a healthier diet and exercise this time to get to a long term weight that I’m happier with, as even before I had kids I was probably half a stone heavier than I wanted to be.
I found even though I was within reach of my original pre-pregnancy weight before I got pregnant again this time, my body was a different shape, and I think the changes are probably permanent. I’ve always had hips and boobs but I had a small waist in between, which is definitely thicker now so I just feel bigger all over, and my stomach is definitely less flat post-C-section. I guess I have to learn to embrace the changes as I’ll be fighting a losing battle if I expect my body to look exactly the same in my 30s and after two kids as it did in my 20s! I think we need to be kinder to ourselves and realistic about what is achievable as most of the pressure to look a certain way after having kids comes from ourselves and how we think other people think we should look.
Thanks for sharing Tanne and I completely agree that we should be kinder to ourselves. It’s so tough sometimes but it’s true that we can’t expect to look the same. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xx
It’s so helpful to talk about this honestly – thank you!!! My little girl is 6 months and it’s been a struggle not to hate my post pregnancy body at times. I’m only half a stone off pre pregnancy weight now, and I fit into quite a bit of my pre pregnancy wardrobe. However, my hips have expanded massively, and they were already on the larger side.
In the last 6 months I’ve concentrated on exercising consistently rather than healthy eating as breastfeeding has made me so hungry I couldn’t even contemplate restricting calories. This has led me to do a plank every time I change a nappy and go to buggy fit three times a week. As a result I’m not too unfit, but somehow my muscles are hiding under a layer of chub.
People at work think I’ve just pinged back into shape, but I haven’t! They see that I am wearing old clothes again, and they probably can’t remember my old figure enough to judge that I look much different now. But, I know how much exercise I’ve had to do and how far I am from my pre pregnancy bod still. I wonder if most people who look like they pinged back didn’t really… Of course it will be easier for some than others, but I reckon very few people really ping back.
Sorry for the ramble. It makes me feel less abnormal that other people struggle d with feeling like them still at this stage. It sounds like we’re all very hard on ourselves. I, especially, want to stop being so down on my body as I would hate for my little girl to ever feel this way. I don’t want my insecurities to be passed down!
What a great, honest post. I’ve had 3 kids (born within 4 years of each other) and my youngest has just turned 5. I’m approx half a stone heavier than pre-babies, but whilst I still fit into the same size clothing as before, my body shape has changed so much! I do exercise, but sometimes become frustrated that I now have a permanently wobbly tummy (plus other wobbly areas!). I’ve recently had many frustrated conversations with my husband about how I feel the gym / exercising is a waste of time as it seems to make no difference to my body anymore. When I do really push up my exercise quota, everything quite quickly springs back to flat, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I just can’t sustain that level of commitment to the gym anymore, and therefore i’ll just have to live with my wobbly bits ;-).
Late to the post and lowering the tone as usual but… Is it ok to say the worst thing was having a really sore lady garden for many many months after an episiotomy? Sex- no thanks, don’t you put that near my stitches. Shaving- what if it opens up again? Cue avoiding baby swimming and Veet burns. And if you are breastfeeding nobody tells you that your glands down there more or less turn off so it’s horribly dry and uncomfortable.
There is a great new series beginning on Radio 4 Women’s Hour on new parenthood and today they spoke about this among other post baby changes. The foof issues were the worst for me- I knew that having lost weight before I could do it again and my boobs have always been rubbish. But not knowing if I could ever enjoy sex again was a massive problem. After about 10 months it finally started to be anything other than just bearable- it will make a huge difference this time around knowing it comes back.
Oh Lucy, this has made my evening! Thank you so much for saying what most of us didn’t. The whole sex thing is probably a good one for discussion in truth. I’ll pop it on the list. xx
This post is perfectly timed for me. I had my first baby, a little girl 17 weeks ago and the shock of my body now has been a huge adjustement! We go on our first family holiday this week and I naively thought I’d be back to post baby host and bikini ready easily by now but that’s not happened and my confidence is pretty low, it’s so nice to hear others are the same! X
Perfectly timed post (although am super late commenting!) read it on the morning of our 6week check when I was steeling myself to tell the dr exactly how I was feeling… basically ‘broken’ – (lowering the tone further) going to the loo results in me yelping in pain; despite obsessing with the pelvic floor exercises I leak when I bend down; I thought I may have avoided the stretch marks until 37w when they all appeared with a vengeance – hello tiger striped (and saggy)belly, I almost laughed when she asked about contraception – think the aftermath of a second degree tear+stitches is going to be more effective than the Pill just now! Naturally I chickened out of going too in detail when I saw the dr – felt too close to tears and didn’t want to seem ungrateful/crappy mum as our baby girl is amazing and I know I am super lucky – so went on my way with the vague report that ‘it all looks to be healing fine’ and ‘keep doing the pelvic floor exercises’. Such fun!
Oh Holly, I feel your pain. There is so much they don’t tell you about how rubbish you will feel and it is still so hard to talk about it. I had the delightful experience of having to go see my (male) GP as I had torn my stitches. I have tried to erase that from my memory now whenever I have to go back. You are allowed to feel like this and don’t feel bad. It will get better I promise. Give yourself time but it will be quicker than you think. Do speak to your health visitor though if you don’t start to feel better as it’s so important to look after yourself and keep positive xxx
Thanks Lottie! We managed to get ourselves out to a postnatal yoga class today (our first mum and baby group!) – started at 10am so was a bit of a mission! – but was lovely being around other mummies and little ones – so definitely feeling more positive!xx