When I found out I was pregnant with Leo, I shouted it from the rooftops. There is no greater joy than wanting to have a baby and then finding out that you have been so lucky as to have actually made one! I bought a little frame for his scan photo and that was his first introduction to the world… via a Facebook post; after closest friends and family had been informed.
Then we experienced a miscarriage. The polar opposite of emotions. I wasn’t sure how it would feel to hear about other peoples pregnancies after that. But I know myself and I knew that I would never feel any malice or jealousy over people who got pregnant and had wonderful, safe, happy and healthy pregnancies because like I say, I know there is no greater joy.
And then the stream of scan photos started to appear on my feed. I was thrilled to see them, so happy for those families that were just starting or expanding; I’ve enjoyed many a creative photo or video for pregnancy announcements and I love that people are so keen to mark the occasion and we should share all the happiest moments of our lives because let’s be honest, people only tend to remember and talk more about the negative ones so it’s good to share the joy. But with each happy thought for those families came a pang of pain. When would it be my turn again? I wish I’d got to see that scan. What would we be doing now if our little baby had of been? Why the hell was it taking me (what felt like) so long to get pregnant again?
Time went on and it seemed like everyone was getting their turn. I watched babies go from 12 weeks old to 20 weeks and then to fully fledged human beings. How blummin’ wonderful to see so many success stories. And eventually, I made my peace. It was December; my birthday, christmas, a time to be thankful for everything we have. And I had a lot. So I drank, I got merry and I moved forward. What a relief.
And then on January 6th, almost a year to the date of my miscarriage and a good month of me finding the ‘peace’ I so needed to find… I found out I was pregnant!
I’m having a baby!
I am thrilled. I am petrified. I am anxious. I am excited. I am so very happy. And I am also feeling so very… Cautious.
And so therefore, there won’t be any ‘announcement’ this time round. I know, I’ve just told you so how is that not announcing it? I guess I mean that I see things differently now. I feel safe here, like I can tell you, our wonderful community, because you have been there with me. You know my story, I can tell you without fear of upsetting anyone, I hope. You get me. But I am now so aware of those many people on my social media feeds who will feel that crushing pain at seeing another scan photo. And please don’t misunderstand me, I am 100% behind people announcing their pregnancies, it just feels very different for me now.
I spoke to Anthony about it at the weekend and he, weirdly, is exactly the same as me. He hasn’t told anyone he works with, except for a random man he sat next to one day the other week. I think it’s that we don’t want to jinx ourselves? We don’t want to get too excited. We know how awful it is to be excited and have it ripped away. Straight after Leo’s scan, we bought him an outfit. I’ve not thought about anything like that this time round. What a strange mix of emotions. I’m not sure we’ll be entirely relaxed about any of it until that little baby is in our arms sometime in September.
Have any of you felt like that? Did you announce your pregnancy in anyway or did you keep it relatively quiet? Did you have a fab announcement video or creative way of letting people know about your new baby? I’d love to hear your stories.
Huge Congratulations Becky! Sending you lots of love for a healthy and happy Pregnancy. Perhaps you needed to find your peace with what happened in order to move forward, these things work in mysterious ways…I’ve never experienced the heartbreak of a miscarriage, but, it took a very long time for us to conceive (along with medical intervention) and whilst I was trying to get pregnant a number of people we knew where announcing pregnancies, and whilst we were obviously very happy for them, I was also, well, really jealous! So can sort of relate to the whole emotion of the pregnancy announcement when your not quite there yet! Wishing you all the luck in the world xxxx
Thanks so much Danielle. I can well imagine the feelings of jealousy were very much the same! x
Ah, congratulations!!! That’s lovely news.
I waited until after my 12 week scan to do a mass announcement as such, by putting the picture on Instagram. I did it while in the waiting room to see the consultant after the scan itself – I had consultant led care due to a previous procedure. Then the consultant told me I was at a higher risk to miscarry.. I regretted posting my picture then. It all worked out fine luckily.
Social media is a funny concept isn’t it? I will be more cautious if I’m lucky enough to have a next time for this reason and because of other things that have happened to close friends.
Congratulations again!
Thanks Jennifer and for your comment and I’m so pleased everything worked out for you x
Over the moon for you Becky, what lovely news to hear this morning! X
Thanks Claire 🙂
Oh Becky, I’m thrilled for you and your family. I started reading and thought ‘oh I really, really hope there’s going to be a little announcement of her own at the end of this’ – and there was! I have a little tear in my eye. My partner and I aren’t trying yet but we will be next year sometime – so no idea why I’m actually on here and I don’t usually comment but I just had to say a huge, heartfelt congratulations. This is just the loveliest news to hear. X
Sian this has cracked me up! There’s noting like being prepared 🙂 We’re glad to have you here… baby or no baby yet 🙂 Thanks so much for your lovely comment x
Huge congratulations – Becky. I’m a great believer in finding your inner peace. I’m 22 weeks pregnant and couldn’t be more happy. I’m a massive social media person, both for work and personally but I’ve not done an official announcement. Like you, I love seeing other people posting videos, scan pics or shoot shots. But for us, it feels a bit more private. We are utterly thrilled but there are some people that we’ve not told – my nice but nosey neighbour for example. Ive been really surprised too at the speed of how news travels and in the past Ive definitely shared other people’s pregnancy news. Not any more – If it’s not your baby it’s not your news to tell. Wishing you lots of luck and well firing maternity jeans! (H&M BTW – amazing). Xx
Nicky I am on the hunt for some new maternity jeans! I dug my old ones out from when I had Leo and they just feel a bit… musty. This baby deserves a new pair surely! Thanks so much for your comment x
I totally understand. I miscarried late January, just around the time Facebook was doing its ‘3 pics of motherhood’ or whatever it was. I was happy for my friends of course but it was a hard time and I’d never thought about the other side, how scan pics could make someone feel etc. Congratulations on the pregnancy! You’ve given me some hope, I’m not ready to try again yet – but I will at some point.
Oh Louisa I’m so sorry to hear that. It took me a good few months to feel I was ready to try starting again. I miscarried last January and it has taken us almost a year to conceive when it only took a month for the last two pregnancies so it felt like eternity but I truly believe now that it didn’t happen again until my body and my mind were really ready. Give yourself some time to grieve and good luck with everything in the future xx
Huge congrats Becky… I am overjoyed for you!!!!!
I absolutely love your posts for their honesty and poignancy and I remember your miscarriage post so well.
I have two absolutely beautiful girls, I have also had 3 miscarriages (2 before our first daughter and 1 inbwtween)
After our first miscarriage I like you was so very cautious and held my self back on our second pregnancy… Not wanting to get too ‘carried away’ with the happy feeling and letting my mind think about the future.
And then the thing I dreaded most.. It happened again (pre 12 week scan)
It still hurt just as bad, even though I had tried to manage my feelings if that makes sense.
So I know it is so easy for me to say now I have gone through those dark times and having completed my family but try to ‘let go’ and enjoy every moment as much as you can and share share your wonderful news.
Xxx
Thanks Nicci. I have felt much more confident about this pregnancy… mother intuition or whatever you want to call it. It has felt very different from the previous and so those pangs of excitement have definitely been coming and Im getting better at not squashing them down so much. I feel al bit like perhaps I just don’t believe it’s really real still!? Need to get to my 20 week scan ASAP to see it again and maybe then it will really sink in. xx
There is a lot to be said for that motherly intuition… I felt like I kinda knew my pregnancies with my girls were going to be ok.
I too couldn’t wait for that 20 week scan relief and I definitely felt so much more relaxed from that point onwards.
September will soon be here and your new little bundle of joy will be safely in your arms where he/she belongs!
Xxx
Congratulations Mamma! ❤️
🙂 Thaaaaanks x
Yaaaaaay! Congratulations Becky ? So happy for you!
I also had a miscarriage before I fell pregnant with Emmy and so I was incredibly cautious and anxious throughout my whole pregnancy with Emmy. We didn’t tell anyone except close family and friends until about 30 weeks when I put a picture up of me and Chris with a bump…that was pretty much our announcement. I also refused to buy a single thing until our 20 week scan. I was just the same as convinced myself I’d jinx us by getting ready too much.
We’re not really in a position to try for another one yet (though I would really love to) but I’m hoping next time I’ll be a little more relaxed, although I’m not sure they’ll be any big FB post.
Congrats again Becky xxx
Thanks Tabitha. I’m EXACTLY the same. We move house next week and so I have been sorting through a load of things… including Leo’s baby clothes and I came across the very first outfit I bought him… the day of his 12 week scan and it didn’t hit me until then that it’s not something I’ve even considered this time around. I am looking forward to the 20 weeks scan and perhaps that will be my milestone to buy something lovely for this little one. xx
Big big congratulations. Such happy news.
I’m 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby. We haven’t experienced the heartbreak of a miscarriage but it took us 3 years to conceive which came with its own emotional turmoil. So I think for that reason we didn’t do a social media announcement and have tried to keep my pregnancy off social media. I guess it’s also down to how we both use social media too-and it’s not for anything personal so it just wasn’t something we wanted to use to tell people about my pregnancy. A couple of photos have appeared on Facebook but somehow I’m either sat down or someone is obscuring my bump so I just look a bit chubby! We’ve tried to tell everyone important to us either face to face or by phone. Although, that said, the first people I told were my personal trainer and the lady who waxes my bikini line!!!!!
Haha Sophie! I love that your wax lady was one of the first to know. Yes I do think it’s down to how you use social media too. I think I feel more of a community on my Instagram that my Facebook as well even though Facebook is full of ‘friends’. So I’d probably be more inclined to announce anything on there than Facebook. Strange really. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy 🙂 x
Congratulations! I’m 13 weeks pregnant with my first, and we’ve also not done the Facebook announcement. Partly because we had a scary moment at 10 weeks being rushed into the early pregnancy unit (all is well, but that’s 24 hours I will never forget), partly because we are both ministers of churches and as a woman in that role I’ve heard a lot of people’s stories of loss both in conceiving at all and in miscarriages. So we didn’t want to add to the impression that appears on Facebook that everyone else in the world is having a baby. But the main reason is that I feel weirdly private about this baby – there is such a depth of feeling and wonder that is not captured by a black and white photo and aquaintences commenting “congrats” underneath. So we’re enjoying telling loved ones and churches, but not social media. They’ll just have to guess from my expanding waistline!
Congratulations Beth. I had a scare at 11 weeks with Leo and was in hospital for 24 hours and I will never forget that either. I could recount it minute by minute for you even now 3 years on. Have a wonderful pregnancy xx
Such beautiful news ??
Thank you Sophie x
Oh Becky, first of all MASSIVE congratulations! I’m so happy for you, I’m crying reading your post because it (again) really resonates with me.
I commented on your miscarriage post saying that I too had experienced one. It also took me a whole year to then, on the same day as you (!!!!) find out I am pregnant again!!!!
Even though I haven’t any other children and was only pregnant for a short time last time it does feel completely different this time around, a lot less excitement and a lot more… Just hoping really. Out of sheer paranoia I have now had three scans including my 12 week! After each one I just felt a massive sense of relief.
I wasn’t going to do a pregnancy announcement at all, much for the same reasons as you. But having spoken to my lovely friend Karen (who you will know well!) she convinced me to do it. So I just photographed my bump and made it my cover photo, not an ‘announcement’ as such, more “this is me, happy”.
I’m so so happy for you. I imagine we’re due at similar times? I’m 11th September. Looking forward to reading your updates.
Charlie xxx
Charlie I absolutely LOVE that sentiment. And it is the perfect ‘announcement’. Congratulations. I am considering doing a post on getting through the first trimester post miscarriage as it’s such a strange time. I too had several scans and they were worth every penny to stop my crazy mind from going through all the terrible scenarios that could occur. Have a fab pregnancy 🙂 xx
Thanks Becky. I definitely think you should write that post, it would probably help so many people xx
I just knew how much love would come your way and wanted you to have your moment. Love you loads Chaz. I’m so happy to be sharing this journey with you in our own mental way xxx
Becky (& the whole Rock My Team) – I know I’ve said it before, but I’m so grateful to this little community. RMW brought a handful of my closest friends into my life – Charlie included. I can’t imagine life without this girl and seeing her become a Mum makes me explode with happiness and pride. Thank you for being the place where we found eachother. xxx
Oh Kaz don’t I’ll cry again! I love you loads xxx
Hahaha – it’s fine, it’s hormones. It’s definitely the hormones! xxxx
Amazing news, you just bought tears to my eyes as even though I don’t know you I read your story before and I feel so so happy for your family! Congratulations x
Ah Anna that’s so lovely of you to say x Thank you x
Congratulations again Becky, and to everyone else who has overcome battles to have their little ones.
Feeling very warm hearted this morning from all of this love and positivity – what a lovely bunch of people the RMF lot are 🙂
x
Aren’t they just. That’s why I knew I could talk about it here without feeling anxious about it. Everyone is so open. Yay to our RMF community! x
Unbelievably happy and excited for you Becky (as you know!). It is the best news for your little family and excited for Team RMF baby! Big hugs xxx
Bring on the maternity wear posts! Haha x
Congratulations! Pregnancy announcements are such a difficult thing to get right. It took us a little longer than we’d hoped to try for baby no 2 and I have to admit to pangs of jealousy when friends around us announced or posted on Facebook whenit felt like we were trying so hard!
When I did finally fall pregnant we had already decided that we wouldn’t make an “announcement” and instead would quietly tell a few friends and let the news filter out. Then just as we hit the 12 week scan point my best friend lost a baby at 20 weeks. We were gutted for them both, became extra paranoid about our own little bump, and it just didn’t feel appropriate to share good news when they were hurting so badly 🙁
I’m now 36 weeks and I think there are still some people who don’t know (obviously no-one who’s seen me recently could fail to notice!).
I know it’s an exciting time when you find out you’re pregnant, but even now I struggle with facebook updates and they remind me more of the pain of those around me who havent been as lucky.
Sara that’s exactly how I feel. I think I just became so much more self aware and aware of how many women and families there are out there who have suffered a loss and never even told anyone about it so they must just be dying inside every time they see a new announcement. I hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and good luck with everything 🙂 xx
Oh so many congrats Becky – lovely news!! I can totally relate. After a horrid miscarriage experience I didn’t confirm to anyone (bar parents and then close friends at 6 months when I reeeeeally couldn’t hide it) that I wasn’t just getting a bit porkier when I was expecting my little boy. Part of me worried that by making it ‘official’ something bad would happen again. I look back now (Ollie is 5 months) and feel a bit sad I didn’t enjoy my pregnancy more and realise that what’s meant to be is meant to be, working or hiding doesn’t change it.
So my advice is enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can, be super kind to yourself (you’ve made another tiny human, you’re a legend!), don’t work too hard and raid Topshop’s maternity section! So good. Oh and also – for when the burning cankles/swollen feet set in -get on some Mama Mio peppermint leg rub.. It’s the best!
Congratulations again X
*worrying! Not working! Though all the worrying did feel a bit like a second job! X
Lynne thank you for your lovely words. I am feeling a bit more relaxed now (slightly) and I’m sure getting myself a new wardrobe is going to help with that too! And thanks for the recommendations 🙂 x
Congratulations! That’s such lovely news! We’ve not had a miscarriage, but I’m 23 weeks pregnant with our first baby and I had to have surgery and IVF to get to this stage so we’re so aware of how difficult it is to conceive and and have seen the heartbreak of so many women I have befriended on this journey on infertility forums. We told our close family (and my bestie) on the day it was confirmed we were pregnant as they knew we were having a cycle of treatment and told our closest friends after our 7 week scan. At 12 weeks though we put together a video which we shared on Facebook on New Years Eve evening to share our news and our journey with our wider friends. For us we wanted to celebrate every little milestone we’ve made it past and I also wanted to be open about my infertility issues. I’m still nervous and still booking private scans every 4 weeks or so, but we have so much support behind us.
Congratulations to you! It is so wonderful to celebrate all of the milestones along the way and I wish you all the happiness for the future 🙂 Exciting times for you and your family! x
Ahhhh massive congratulations 🙂 xx
Thanks Lisa x
Congratulations Becky! This resonates so much. Although I have never had a miscarriage I have been so worried something will go wrong. I had a threatened miscarriage early on but after my 12 week scan this week (and finding out I’m today 14 weeks) has settled my mind. I hope being the stage you are now settles yours too. It is your happy news and you don’t need a facebook announcement to certify that.
I am also due in September (16th) so I look forward to sharing my pregnancy journey with you x
Congratulations! We are only a few days apart in our due dates 🙂 Here’s to a fun ride! xxx
Oh Becky! I’m sitting here crying my face off, from complete happiness for you. It’s been such a tough journey for you, but I hope you can feel as much joy as possible through this pregnancy because you so deserve it.
Such a beautiful post, hurray for your gorgeous family growing bigger! Leo will be the most awesome older brother.
HUGE kisses to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
And to you! xxxx
Congratulations Becky! I hope you have a lovely relaxed pregnancy and enjoy everything it brings. Hopefully no aches, pains or vom!
We didn’t announce my pregnancy with Orla so just told people as we saw them…until it got to the stage where I was massive and they knew as soon as they saw me. So when my husband posted a birth announcement there where a lot of ‘what?!’comments. I’d had a missed miscarriage the year before and found out at my 12 week scan, the happiest moment of my life suddenly the worst. Later that week 3 friends posted their scans on FB, I was filled with irrational jealousy. It took a long time to come to terms with our loss but, like you, the tears eventually stopped and I came to peace with it.
When I got pregnant again I was terrified the story would be repeated but thankfully we were blessed with our crazy munchkin. I don’t think I would post anything on social media if I have future pregnancies, having been sat in tears seeing other folks scan photos I wouldnt want to flaunt it in someone else’s face…X
Ash we have had such similar experiences. I’m comforted to know that Im not the only one who’s been there. And how lucky we are to have our beautiful little ones 🙂 x
Hey Becky, congratulations on your news, such a heart warming post. This is my first post on RMF, I’m an avid Style follower and of course RMW through those days too…. But since finding out I was pregnant (at 6 weeks) our world has changed, for the best for sure but I am also struggling with the concept of a pregnancy announcement. I’m about 10 weeks now, yet to have a scan and certainly wouldn’t post until way after that first scan. My husband is super excited, which is so lovely to see and he can’t do enough for me, but, his sister had two miscarriages, one between each baby (she is due No3 in just 3 weeks!) so I certainly feel worried about the concept of ‘others’ knowing. I know there is no evidence to show anything should be wrong being my first pregnancy, but being so close to someone you love going through that was truly saddening.
I guess my thought here is, is it mean to ask your husband to stay quiet over something he is so excited about? I feel bad for him, and slightly selfish as he really does just want to shout it from the rooftops, but having seen the effects of miscarriage I don’t think I could bear the ‘undoing’ of all of that, should sadly it be needed. His response, far more positive than mine – is that I’ll need a network of friends around me to support either way and ‘positive thoughts will help make a positive bean.’
Also the random people you’ve told comment made me smile – my dentist, our office cleaner, and A LOT of bar maids in a ski resort where we first found out who got very good at recognising ‘gin and tonic *wink’ meant just tonic! Oh and the very close friend who saw straight through my decline for wine.
Good luck with your pregnancy and thank you to you and all the team for your constant words of reassurance! I am hanging on every one! xxx
Bless you husband! He sounds like a real gem. I do think it’s hard for men to put themselves into our shoes. The experience is very different for men and women I think. Whilst they’re so excited and over the moon and couldn’t be happier I still think it’s very different to being the person carrying the baby. We have a million thoughts that would probably never cross their minds and that probably shouldn’t cross our own but they do.
Perhaps he might be able to wait the couple of weeks until your scan when you feel reassured that everything is ok and who wants to steal another womans baby thunder? It would be lovely to welcome your niece and nephew into the world and then share you own wonderful news wouldn’t it.
Im sure whatever you choose to do will be right for you and I wish you all the happiness in the world. The whole experience i truly fascinating! x
Huge congratulations Becky, what lovely Friday news. Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy xx
Thanks Milly xx
Becky, what wonderful news. So very happy for you Leo and Anthony.
For fear of being judged I can’t even begin to write how pregnancy announcements make me feel. (I think they’re even beginning to ostracise me from people I was previously close to because I find them so hard.) I can’t cope with the strong feelings of loss, anger, jealousy and deep deep sadness I feel every time I see a scan photo. Pregnancy announcements are big triggers for me so your blog touches a very raw nerve, but it’s something that needs to be said.
No part of me is anything but over the moon happy for anyone that has the joy of a successful, healthy pregnancy but that doesn’t stop the war raging in my brain.
Isabella is the light at what feels like a very dark tunnel. I look forward to hearing updates as you prepare for your rainbow baby. Lots of loves. Xxx
Claire, I could have written your exact comment myself! Thank you for saying it ‘out loud’.
Huge congratulations xxx
Oh Claire, it’s such a difficult time. My heart goes out to you. Your comment has made me even more glad that I haven’t put anything ‘out there’ so to speak. Thank you for the congratulations and for being able to find the courage to say those words. there’s no judgy pants allowed here and we really appreciate your comments. Lots of love back to you xx
Whoop, whoop – doing a little happy dance here this morning, congratulations to you and your gorgeous family again lovely xx mwah xx
Mwah mwah mwah xx
Huge congratulations Becky, that’s such wonderful news. I hope you’ve been feeling well.
I had a miscarriage before falling pregnant with our soon to be first baby. It made us feel very different when we fell pregnant this time and, unfortunately, took away that initial feeling of pure excitement. We didn’t talk about it much and anxiously waited out those weeks for the scan.
After the 12 week scan my husband wanted to announce it but I couldn’t bear the thought of having to tell people if it went wrong again. It wasn’t until after the 20 week scan, and around that time you start to feel those fizzes in your belly, that I began to relax and enjoy the pregnancy and we made our announcement then.
Here’s to a happy and healthy pregnancy for you x
Laura we never really spoke about it either. I remember my Mom asking me at about 10 weeks… ‘what do you think about this name?’ and I just remember thinking, oh! We haven’t talked about names… In fact, we haven’t really talked about it all. Definitely some self preservation going on. I can’t wait for 20 weeks and to start feeling those bubbles in my tummy… That is the reassurance I feel like I need to know it’s actually in there as I think I’m still in a bit of disbelief. Thanks for your comment x
Wahooooooooo again!!! But then you know this already 😉 Love you donks xxx
Love you xx Whoop!
Becky – massive congratulations to you and your little family, you have cheered up my morning hearing your awesome news!
I think we are all cautious in our own little ways, I haven’t had anything like your experience but I have been quite cautious after some comments from doctors early on and then a bit of an issue at 31 weeks. I think you just do the best you can and how you feel plays a big part in that.
I am so thrilled for you and thank you for your honesty, it is so good to hear from other people who have such a mixture of feelings.
Congratulations to you all! xxx
Kate I was so worried the post would come across negatively and like ‘you shouldn’t be announcing your pregnancies!’ but Im so glad it’s been received in the correct light 🙂 And you’r right, we all deal with it the best way we know how I think. Thanks so much for your comment x
You’re so welcome.
No it definitely reads to me that you have such a mixture of feelings all at the same time and I think we all feel like that just in different ways.
We did an announcement after 20 weeks because we wanted to tell people in person first, but it was also so that I was calmer / less worried before we told a lot of people at once! xxx
Massive congratulations Becky!! I also found out I am expecting my 2nd baby on the same day as you ? both times I haven’t announced it on Facebook or posted my scan photo – the first time I was expecting I knew of 3 friends who suffered miscarriages whilst I was in the first trimester so when I did get that healthy scan I didn’t want to appear to be gloating or cause anyone any upset. This time around I’ve done the same, it’s not a secret and we told quite a few people before 12 weeks actually but I haven’t put anything online. It just feels personal and everyone I see and speak to in ‘real life’ knows so there doesn’t seem any need. Hope the rest of your pregnancy is happy and healthy ? X
Ah and the same to you too! Yay for the September babies! x
Congratulations on your new pregnancy! I felt exactly the same with my pregnancy. I suffered a miscarriage in August 2014 then found out I was pregnant again in December 2014. I had a few days of excitement before I suffered a bleed and after a few days of worry and thinking the same was happening again, I had a scan & saw a tiny 6 week old bean fluttering away. I bleed on & off until 14 weeks so never felt truly relaxed. Because of this I made no Facebook announcement etc. I never felt everything was going to work out okay until he was in my arms safe – thankfully it did & he is now 7 months old. I wished I’d worried less & been able to enjoy my pregnancy more, but I guess it’s natural to feel cautious after a previous loss.
I had a friend who had a similar scenario to you and luckily all worked out fine for her too! Hope you’re enjoying motherhood and thanks for your lovely comment x
Huge congratulations Becky! Wonderful news, wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy!
I felt exactly the same, we had to do IVF and had a lot of complications during the cycle. When we found out we were pregnant, it had worked, we were so delighted but I felt really anxious and nervous after everything so I never did the announcement. I told family and my three closest friends and boss and that was it. I eventually had to tell colleagues when I started to really show around 5 months but there are some friends who I didn’t see when I was pregnant and they only found out when we announced her arrival on Facebook! I was so scared throughout the whole pregnancy that this felt right for me. I know if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again I’d do the same thing.
Enjoy your pregnancy, such an exciting time! X
Thanks Angela and I’m glad everything worked out for you 🙂 xx
Big congratulations Becky, very exciting! This post really resonates with me too. I had a miscarriage in January last year, then another one in July and it’s heartbreaking to go through. I think posts like this really help you to realise just how common it is and that so many women go through it.
When I was pregnant with my little boy I was super relaxed, enjoyed every second of pregnancy and I think we announced it on fb after our 12 week scan. I’m 19 weeks pregnant again and having had three scans I’ve relaxed a bit. I’ve just started pregnancy yoga and have bought a few little things as I’m determined to enjoy this pregnancy and I’m feeling happy. I don’t think I’ll ever be as carefree about the whole thing after my experiences – you’re just so much more aware that things can go wrong which is a shame really!
It is a shame isn’t it. But hopefully now you can start to relax more into the pregnancy and the yoga will help. I really enjoyed it with Leo and have started to do it again at home this week. It really does give you some switch off time to try and connect with the baby and start making those bonds… especially after what has probably been a tough start where you’ve not wanted to allow yourself to get too close. I know I certainly felt like that. Lots of luck and love to you! x
Ah just wanted to add my Congratulations to you too Becky. Such wonderful news. You & Anthony must be absolutely thrilled, if slightly tentative this time.
Our little girl is an IVF babe and we have two embryo’s waiting for us on ice – we’re thinking of going for broke and putting them both back in this summer (EEEEEEK!) So I’ll be following your maternity/pregnancy posts with interest and hopefully there again myself fairly soon!
Congrats again xx
Anna how exciting!!! Everything crosses for you 🙂 x
Congratulations to you all!
Whilst I struggled to conceive we never had the heartbreak of a miscarriage, but I remember seeing scan pictures on fb and feeling frustrated and unhappy that it wasn’t us again this month.
I do have friends that have been in a similar position to you though.
A good friend had multiple miscarriages and struggled to conceive her baby girl. She was so cautious that right up until her 30th week of pregnancy had bought nothing at all for baby! (Her mum had panicked that the baby would arrive and she would still have nothing, so she ordered a cot and pushchair as a surprise!)
She hadn’t announced it at all, only to close friends and family. So there were lots of surprised people on fb once a picture of her little lady was posted.
I almost think that ‘ta-daaaah! Here’s a baby!’ announcement is way more fun. It’s just so lovely to hear all the success stories. 🙂 x
Congratulations Becky – that’s lovely news! I’m not so far behind you! Sshhhh 🙂
Oh yay! Another September baby on the way 🙂 Congratulations x
Huge congratulations!! I remember reading your previous post and it had me in tears, I can’t even begin to imagine how traumatic that must have been. So many of our friends and family have experienced the loss of a baby or fertility problems and whilst everything so far is fine with our little sproglet (had the 20 week scan yesterday 🙂 ), I’m constantly paranoid that something might go wrong. I haven’t done any announcement on social media but hubby has – he is so excited, I didn’t want to ruin the fun for him!
I hope you have a very uneventful and relaxed pregnancy xx
Congratulations to you! I loved Leo’s 20 week scan. I remember thinking how big he’d got and just how amazing the whole experience was. Same to you Maike 🙂 x
Ah congratulations, Becky! I identified so much with the post about your miscarriage so I’m so thrilled that you’re expecting now! Pregnancy announcements are such a tricky thing. I had a miscarriage also 2 years ago and remember feeling like and utter failure everytime I saw a scan picture on Facebook or Instagram. Not because I wasn’t happy for my friends but because it made me so keenly aware of what I had failed to be able to do.
I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant and haven’t done an announcement at all – only close friends and family know we are expecting. I’ve also not bought or prepared anything yet – partly because I don’t want to jinx it, and partly because it still feels a long way off. Needless to say, I still feel very nervous and anxious that something might go wrong and having to retract that all from social media is just another thing I don’t want to have to worry about.
Wishing you the healthiest and happiest of pregnancies! Xx
And to you Ashley. I hope you can start to relax into it a little bit and enjoy the last few months. I think those are the ones that seem to flip by. So lovely to hear another success story after miscarriage and wishing you all the luck in the world for the rest of this pregnancy and the arrival of your little one x
Congratulations! So happy for you & your family, I have to admit to getting a bit teary while reading your news xo
Oh Suzy don’t! It’s making me teary reading the comments! It’s so nice to talk about it (although I still have this niggling fear of jinxing myself but I must get over that). thanks for your comment xx
I miscarried in Dec 2013 at 11 weeks, we hadn’t told anyone at that point as I was waiting for my scan, 3 days off. It was so hard to speak to parents to say the miscarriage had happened when they didn’t even know I was expecting. It wasn’t easy conceiving again and took until April 2015. To my utter dismay I started bleeding at 7 weeks. Our hospital has a fabulous EPAU who took me in straight away for a scan and confirmed joy beyond joy a very obvious heartbeat. We told our parents this time but just our parents until we were out of the danger zone. At 13 weeks I had another scan and we were all systems go. We told siblings at this point but didn’t make it common knowledge until after my 16 week midwife appointment. By this point my colleagues had started to notice I was getting a bit rounder (especially in the boob area) but had put it down to an excessive holiday a few weeks before. I think I held my breath for the full 38 weeks I was pregnant but am beyond delighted to say our 9 week old daughter is lay sleeping on my chest as I type. I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy.
Jo what a lovely image! Those baby snuggles are the best. I remember telling my brother as soon as I found out with Leo but like you, the next time round I waited until the scan and getting the ‘all clear’. But I agree and think we’ll probably be holding our breath until the baby is actually here, in our arms, crying and keeping us awake all night! x
I am so so so happy for all three of you Becky! The world is a more beautiful place on this spring morning for reading this post.
Your sensitivity and truthfulness are also beautiful. Lots of love to you and all the commenters who have experienced miscarriage.
Your point about Instagram strikes a chord- happy to put scan pics there but not Facebook. It felt too big and impersonal, strangely. Although we had a big scare at 15 weeks and I felt sick looking at my beautiful baby’s IG post fearing the worst. Not sure I would do that again…
Have you told Leo? I guess that’s a whole post in itself!
Xx
That’s it isn’t it Lucy… the fear of having to retract!? Ergh, makes me nauseous.
Strangely he knew before we actually told him, he must’ve picked up on the very few conversations we had about it… It probably is a post in itself. He’s made it clear he wants a brother and that he won’t be sharing any cake!
This is such fab news Becky, I’m so happy for you! I know all to well your exact feelings as we tried for nearly 4 years, suffered 2 miscarriages and now pregnant after 3 rounds of IVF! I only began to feel it was really real after my 16 week scan and now at 25 weeks I am finally letting myself get excited by it and we’ve started to buy some things, although we’re still holding off on the big bits! I went through seeing and hearing so many pregnancy announcements during this journey, and every time came the huge rush of emotions; the tears, the hurt, the anger that it was so easy for every one else! So I too held off any kind of public announcement, only initially telling close friends and family, and still I’ve never mentioned it on Facebook, just because I know how it feels! Sending lots of love of your way for happy and healthy pregnancy xxxx
Such great news for you Lindsay after what sounds like a very long hard road. Hope you enjoy the rest of the pregnancy and enjoy buying those big bits when it comes round to it 🙂 x
A huge congratulations to you and your family. Fab news for a Friday. ? Very privileged that you would share something so personal with us.
My second pregnancy like yourself resulted in a miscarriage. The hardest part, apart from the actual miscarriage was telling my daughter that mummy wasn’t having a baby anymore, then telling family and freinds. It was like every time I told someone different I was going through it all over again. It was over 12 months before I got pregnant again. We told nobody, my mum guessed but no one else knew. We felt that we had to tell family and close friends after the twelve weeks scan but that was it. I did get asked at about 26 weeks if I was pregnant ?We’re trying for our third and to be honest that cautiousness hasn’t lifted. Don’t think there will be a big announcement next time either.
Hope your keeping well. All the best with your pregnancy x
I can’t believe you got to 26 weeks before someone asked you… I feel like a small whale already at just over 14 weeks and not sure how easy it will be to hide! haha. Luckily we didn’t tell Leo about the previous pregnancy… he was probably too young to understand it at that time. That must’ve been really hard. But I’m so happy for you having a successful and love to hear that you’re trying again! These positive stories have really made my day! Good luck with the lovin’ and hopefully you’ll be able to relax a little bit more into pregnancy if/when it happens again. Thanks so much for your comment xx
Congratulations!!!
I’m so pleased for you. Reading your post made me fill up as I know exactly how you feel. We lost our little boy at 22 weeks, followed by two miscarriages and those lovely happy announcements broke my heart every time. When we finally conceived my little girl we waited until we had the all clear from the consultant at 20 weeks before we even told our families.
I hope you have a happy and uneventful 40weeks xxx
Wonderful news Becky – wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.
It’s funny the not telling people / announcement thing – I told family early on as if anything had happened I wanted a support network for my husband and I. We never did a big announcement as I’m certainly of the school of dont count your chickens… I didn’t buy anything until very late on – mostly because you don’t really need to but also because I didn’t want to be ‘too prepared’. A baby is such a personal thing that every couple is different and announces in a different way and I don’t think there is a right or wrong way. Although the risks are much more reduced as time goes on there is always a risk isn’t there, it’s such a worry exciting time. Lots of luck and thank you for a beautifully written piece.
Huge congratulations to you Becky! So excited for you!
And thank you so much for this post! Last summer I had a missed miscarriage and now I am 17 weeks pregnant (yay!) and also feeling so many mixed emotions. Reading this post and all the comments is very comforting.
We told very close family and friends around 11 weeks but now we have started telling a wider audience and it is totally scary. I actually did a few searches online looking for a how-to-tell-people-I’m-pregnant guide and this resulted in a lot of adorable photo ideas but it was not what I needed. Because I literally could not think of the words to tell people. So, it has been a lot of “no thanks, I won’t have any wine and I won’t be having any wine for a while” style announcements!
Now that I have told some more people, I actually feel a lot better. I think it was just getting over that “announcing to a wider audience” milestone that was so scary for me. I guess you just have to do what feels right to you.
I’m not the kind of person to post on Facebook, for me it is just too personal to post about. But I actually really enjoy seeing other people’s announcements.
Congratulations Becky! That is such wonderful news! Praying that the love and joy will outweigh any fear and anxiety!
My husband and I are expecting our first and we’re so super excited! I’m now 22 weeks but we waited until we were 12 weeks to announce to the world. We both like to do things creatively so had arranged a ‘family photo shoot’ at 7 weeks pregnant with our immediate family which was really a guise to announce our good news to them all whilst recording their reactions. My husband then edited the video for us to use as the official announcement (link below)! We recently just did a GIF gender announcement too!
http://youtu.be/NmZ4dA-L75Y
Yay!!! This is brilliant news. I wept when I read your miscarriage post but didn’t comment as I only found it months later. It resonated so much with me.
I had two miscarriages last year. It was our first year of marriage and should have been such a happy time but in reality was very painful. They were both missed miscarriages and I found out at the scan both times. As a result I find scans terrifying and have definitely found it difficult to relax in my current pregnancy.
I have seen a miscarriage specialist this year and managed to get pregnant again. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and am cautiously optimistic. I have had scans at 6,8,10 and 12 weeks and that has definitely helped me to manage my anxiety.
We have not made a public announcement on FB. When I had my first miscarriage I found it excruciating watching others’ scans and bumps. But my sister was also pregnant and I think that made me come to terms with my own loss.
This time we have, however, told family and close friends. I found it hard the first time that so few people knew and then asked comments like, “So, when are you going to start a family?” This way at least they will not ask such questions.
I was keeping it very quiet at work but then got outted. I am a secondary school teacher and one of my Year 11 girls guessed and told the whole school. The news spread round the school in about 10 mins. The students’ excitement made me lighten up a bit and saved me having to tell people. Though I am really hoping nothing goes wrong as the whole school knows! When I had my first miscarriage there seemed to be loads of our 17 year old students pregnant and I found that really difficult.
Like you I am feeling very superstitious and have not bought anything. We have started planning the Nursery but will just paint it white for the moment.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and giving a voice to this painful experience. This post is much longer than I intended! I will be following your pregnancy closely! xxx
Congratulations Becky! Such wonderful news! I wish you all the best for this pregnancy!
Fortunately I haven’t had a miscarriage, but working in obstetrics I’ve seen a lot. So I was quite cautious during the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy last year. However I had the benefit of doing a scan myself whenever I was worried!! From the time of your post I first thought about how women have announced it too their partners (there are so many great ideas and ways to tell him!) whereas my husband came home to a crying me holding up the test 😀 Then again we had been trying for a long time and I had given up hope to conceive naturally. And yes everyone else seemed to get pregnant really fast and easy and people’s announcements made me very envious at that time. However all turned out well and our beautiful boy is sleeping next to me. So on that happy note, I wish you a health and easy pregnancy!
Congratulations!! This is such lovely news xxx
Big congrats Becky ?
Ahh massive congratulations Becky!! That’s such lovely news, hope the rest of your pregnancy goes really well. I’m 40 weeks tomorrow – nearly there!! xx
I too, shouldn’t be on here! No little ones, not yet really trying to get pregnant… but I loved Rock my Wedding, and I love Rock my Style, so thought I’d have a little peek. Goodness, what a great blog (obviously am not surprised!). Becky I read your beautifully written miscarriage post before this and I just wanted to say two things – firstly, thank you for giving me a far better understanding of what a close friend has gone through but could not explain, and secondly – I think you are wonderful and from the bottom of my heart wish you a happy, healthy future. I look forward to hopefully returning to RMF sometime soon 🙂 xx
Love, hugs, kisses and big, big, congratulations again.
Mwah x
Congratulations Becky 🙂 I’m due 3rd September with our first. Alice x
Sorry for the very late comment… I just wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy.
Like so many other people, your miscarriage post managed to put into words what I was unable to explain to people around me. I’m not pregnant yet but would definitely appreciate a post on getting through the first trimester after a miscarriage – I know this is something I am really scared about when the time comes. x