Don’t worry ladies I’m not about to show you a photo of me six months postpartum with ripped abs and a really firm tush, if anything I’m quite the opposite. I should say though there is absolutely nothing wrong if you’re six months from having pushed a human out of your body and you are back to being fit as a fiddle… I salute you for embracing what you love and getting back to the treadmill. I’m probably stalking you on Instagram and using you as part of my ‘mumspiration’ board to try and help me get back to my previously stronger and more healthy self.
I’ve already written this post 3 times and it just didn’t seem right, maybe because it’s quite hard to talk about ones self when well, one isn’t really quite that happy with said self and doesn’t really like to admit it. But here goes. I think the first time I tried to pen this article it was perhaps not the most advantageous time of the month, if you know what I’m saying. Prior to having Tayo and post miscarriage, my periods were pretty much non existent. My body seemed to be in a right old tiz. But since having him… Wow. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I was always very light to medium flow but now, especially the first two days, they are so heavy I actually don’t like to leave the house except for when I absolutely have to or for no longer than half an hour at a time. Has your menstrual cycle/flow totally changed? I’m wondering if anyone has experienced the same and I wonder if you’ve gone back to ‘normal’ over time? I wonder if birth control could be affecting it? Perhaps I should just let my body ‘be’ for a while so I can find out what’s ‘normal’?
I also have this constant craving. Every time I reach for the biscuits, which is at least twice a day, I hear K D Lang in my head. This thing I seem to have for sugar is getting way out of control. I’ve always loved a biscuit, often having half a pack of custard creams for breakfast in my teenage years (I know, my poor mother must have been despairing at me!) but since having Tayo my intake has increased ten fold. I’m not interested in chocolate or sweets (Although I did crave sweets when I was pregnant), the only thing that will cure my craving is a biscuit. I think the main reason I seem to have this need for sugar is because of the lack of sleep. Tayo still doesn’t sleep through; the longest stint he can seem to manage is 5 hours and that’s usually between the hours of 7 and midnight and I just can’t bring myself to go to bed at half 7 to try and get 4 hours sleep. So I’m in need of some energy. But I am very aware that its a bit of a catch 22, I eat the sugar, I get the high, an hour later I start to get the come down, I eat another biscuit and so on. What a horrid cycle and I’m so aware of it too. How do you deal with your sleep deprivation? I was really getting into exercising regularly and it was making me feel better but then I got one of those awful periods and it put a stop to it for a few days and I’ve not seemed to manage to get back into it? But I am determined to up the exercise and reduce the sugar and hope that I start to get a waves of natural energy as opposed to the synthetic ones I’m currently riding. Speaking of exercising…
How’s your pelvic floor? Mine is pretty crap. When I left the hospital the midwife told me I should aim to do 100 a day. 100! But ok, I was willing to give it a bash so as not to pee myself every time I ran up the stairs. But I have been so rubbish when it has come to it lately. My rule was… Every time I went to the loo I would do 20 that way throughout the day I’d definitely be able to get my 100 in. However, it turns out that I don’t go to the loo that often!? And that’s probably because I don’t drink enough which is also probably adding to my feeling tired and needing all the sugar. Vicious circle anyone!? How do you remember to do yours and when do you do them?
And lastly, I’m feeling all out of sorts with my body in general. I have always been fairly slim and would say that my body shape was fairly well proportioned, I’ve aways had slightly wider hips but generally, all pretty much proportioned. My shape changed slightly after Leo but not dramatically and I still felt very much like myself and recognised myself in the mirror. But this time? I’d like to use the word ‘ergh’. Everything is all out of kilter. My boobs have disappeared. Gone. They were never huge or anything but now when they look back at me in the mirror it’s like they’re just saying…’Meh’. When do you treat yourself to new undies post baby? I reckon this might be it for them six months on so maybe going on a good underwear shop might help me feel a bit better about them?
And as for everything else, there seems to be a constant theme running through my tummy, my butt and weirdly (or not), my double chin… The sag. BUT, I know that if you’re not happy with something the worst thing you can do is just sit and write a blog post whinging about it. I need to get said saggy butt up off the couch and get my squat on.
But any recommendations for what I can do to help my chin (and to help tone all that other excess skin for that matter) would be very welcomed? Creams, massage techniques, anything.
It might seem that I’ve just spent an entire post moaning about my body and all the things that go with it and at times it does get me down, knowing my jeans are still a bit tight, knowing my skin is a bit dull from lack of hydration (how do you remember to drink?! I am so bad for just forgetting) and all the sleep deprevation and well largly I guess I have, because it’s ok for us to have a whinge and I hope you will feel comfortable enough with me to have a whinge in the comments if you need to as well, but I’m also largely aware that my body is EPIC. There’s no one but me putting any pressure on to lose a few extra pounds or tone up that saggy chin and I have to; we all have to, remember that our bodies are incredible and one look at our babies will remind us of that in those dark wobbly times. It takes time for our bodies to heal and we must allow ourselves that time. We do what’s right for us whether that’s heading to the gym in your spare time to feel like yourself again or dunking another biscuit because actually, it’s Friday and you feel like you deserve a treat for being such a fantastic Mom!
Oh and what is with the weird drastic hair loss (like clumps washing down the drain with my shampoo) but then at the same time growth of strange baby hair at the front of my hair line?! Go figure.
So where are you at in your recovery? Have you managed to get back on track with exercise and healthy eating or are you finding yourself like me; stuck in a biscuit laden rut trying desperately to get out from under a sugar addiction? Any other ailments you’re not sure of that maybe other readers can help with? As always, leave comments and questions below my lovelies.
Hi Becky,
This is going to be the most useless and unhelpful comment ever posted as I have no words of wisdom nor useful advice..However I did want to say this is a post that mas made me nod along emphatically and smile and therefore I just wanted to say thank you for your refreshing honesty and for not being afraid to just say how you feel without too much editing or trying to be clever. This is the type of post that makes me love RMF.
Oh and I hear you with the weird baby hair and shrunken boobs. It’s pretty crap. Totally worth it of course but still completely unfair! Also eagerly hoping there will be some magic people on hand to recommend how to regain muscle elasticity without too much effort…
Alice x
Morning Alice. Thanks for nodding along, nice to know I’m not alone 🙂
Have a lovely weekend x
Love your honesty on all of this Becky. And completely relate to so much of it. What I will say is that I found my experiences after Alice so different to Molly. Everything seems much more amplified and takes so much bloody longer to feel ‘normal’. Not sure if that is a second baby thing? I am probably fitter than I have ever been and do lots more exercise but I’m starting to accept my body has changed lots. Everything is just that little bit ‘wider’ but I actually feel quite toned so I think exercise has been the only way for me. On the chin my mum used to teach me some exercises to tighten it. Open your mouth really wide and then close and repeat. Also gently pinch with your thumb and forefinger all along your jaw line repeatedly.
On the periods situation I am exactly the same. Horrible. I never had heavy periods ever and after Molly they were almost back to normal but after Alice they have been so heavy and painful. Nearly 4 years later they are finally starting to feel a bit better. I have no idea why they have been so rubbish and I’m not on any contraception. Sorry, that doesn’t give you much hope or help!
To be honest I think second time round you just need to give yourself more time. The lack of sleep when you also have a toddler is a killer and it knocked me about for at least 8 months but then it does start to improve. I’d say a year in I started to feel a bit back to me and then it continued to get better. Keep doing the amazing job you are doing. And don’t worry about the extra custard cream for now!! xxxx
Excellent, so in two months I’m going to be feeling ace! ?
After writing this earlier in the week I actually joined a Pilates class… boy oh boy was I feeling it yesterday. I think small steps is probably the way… Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that ? X
Great post, Becky. I’m ten months down the line and am very much with you on the sleep deprivation and saggy boobs! I’d say definitely treat yourself to new bras as it was only last month I realised I was still wearing my awful maternity ones! Yuck. A few prettier ones definitely help! And I’m also with you on the sugar… For me it’s all the chocolate ? X
I am the same with drinking, I could get to 4 pm and realise I’ve not yet had a drink that day. I am trying hard now. How about setting your self reminders in your phone every hour to have a Drink? I also bought one if those bobble bottles in a bid that I have to drink the whole thing in a day.
Also I have just bought davina 15 minute work out dvd. I kept saying that I would go to exercise classes and never did, but this is quite easy to fit into my day and there are 4 different work outs to do, you can do as many as you want or just one. It’s over before you know it so I always do more than one. Could be done whilst Tayo is having a nap?
Can’t advise on heavy periods other than I’ve always had them. I went on a pill that stopped them all together, but since having baby 2 years ago haven’t gone back on it. I tried for 6 weeks but hated it and decided I’d just live with it. Having been pill free for 4 years whilst trying to get pregnant id forgotten how the pill actually made me feel. Not sure hubby is a fan though as I now get raging pmt!!!
Claire I think getting a specific bottle might be a good idea, I can track how much I’m having then too? Davina is great isn’t she! I’d started joining in with some of The Body Coaches January boot camps and I was really enjoying them, I think I just need to remind myself of that and just not try too much too soon? Thanks so much for commenting. And maybe our husbands should go for a pint… my mood swings are ? X
Love this post Becky!
I got a HydrateM8 -basically a bottle with time targets on (makes sense if you look at them!). I hardly drank any water throughout the day, but find doing this pretty easy and a like hitting my hydration goals….(lol!!!)
You can obvs make your own but I find investing in a bit of kit, whatever it may be, makes me more determined!
Great post and one that I will no doubt be revisiting in the coming months as I deal with my body issues post baby no.2 (I’m currently 38 weeks pregnant). After my first baby I was pleasently surprised with my body’s recovery in the first 6 weeks but then it seemed to stall and if I’m honest I never really tried to lose that final half stone as I knew I wanted another baby and I’d just put it back on again. Baby no.2 will be our last so I’m determined to focus more on getting my body back fitter and stronger (if not thinner) than it was before. As for the post baby hair thing I don’t find that it bothers me too much as it seems to happen to everyone and cures itself within the first 12 months but if anyone has any tips about dealing with the sagginess I’m all ears as my boobs never recovered from baby no.1 and my chin is getting scarily close to having a Harold Bishop wattle. For this I need serious help!
Harold Bishop!!!!!! That has made me laugh so much. Anthony calls me Tessa sometimes, as in Tessa Jowell because of my well, Jowl. We’d make a great team. Haha! Good luck with baby number two xx
Oh girl I adore you!
The sugar thing, it’s not hormonal. Every day at naptime my mind tells me I need a little treat; before I know it I’ve nailed a twin pack of Sainsbury’s choux buns.
Like, EVERY day.
Oh and you don’t need me to tell you this but you are 100% gorgeous, saggy bits & all!
It’s definitely mind over matter isn’t it? Maybe we should start a little sugar support group? Every time we go to reach for those naughty treats we can stop each other?! ?
Haha absolutely! I have no willpower to get back on track. In the meantime I’m just hoovering up sugar like a hungry bluebottle.
I had to hold E the other day when the health visitor weighed her. In the process I discovered I’ve gained 10lb. Waaah! ???xx
It’s because we’re SHATTERED. It’s like I said on the kids and sugar post, our need for sweet energy is hard wired. Add to that the ‘f-me that was a TOUGH day of toddler wrangling I deserve a REWARD’ and I’m mainlining magnum minis like a desperate woman. It’s ok. They’ll be off to uni soon and then we’ll all be supermodels.
Love this post Becky.
A couple of tips – Nioxin is great for the hair loss, you can get a shampoo, conditioner and leave in serum set. I swear it slowed mine way down.
Also pelvic floor – after two kids mine was awful so I found a local exercise class specifically for mums (they do a daytime one you can take children to or an evening one) that focuses on your core and pelvic floor. Would recommend if you can find something locally.
And the only way I drink water is to keep a bottle with a straw in it in the kitchen and drink about half a litre in one go a couple of times a day. Slightly ridiculous!
I definitely think having a bottle is going to be the way forward to encourage me to drink more ? And your class sounds great. After writing the post earlier in the week I had a strong word with myself and joined a Pilates class but I’ll definitely investigate to see if there’s anything specifically pelvic floor related! Thanks so much x
Loved this post. Post partum recovery is so rarely talked about.
I’m 9 months in and still don’t quite feel like me. I’d say I feel like someone has put a different brain in my body but it doesn’t really feel like my body either! My boy doesn’t sleep for very long periods so I cope with the sleep deprivation in the same way as you – sugar! What is also annoying is that he’s fast asleep next to me now but I’ve been wide awake for an hour.
I was a keen runner once and have started some exercise again but it’s very sporadic. I do feel so much better if I do manage to do some sort of exercise though. Im still breastfeeding and have found my weight has slowly come down despite the sugar addiction and lack of exercise so I’m only about 1/2 stone heavier than I was pre pregnancy but I am very wobbly now. Another bonus of breastfeeding is my periods still haven’t returned but my boobs are ruined!
I had the the post partum hair loss too which was rank and am now sporting the very fetching regrowth at the front, mines quite curly compared to the rest of my barnet so looks really odd!
It’s so peculiar isn’t it?
I’ve never been a runner (I’m a bit like Phoebe from friends as in legs flailing all over the place etc) but I have had times lately when I’ve thought that it seemed like a really good idea, for the fresh air if nothing else. Lolly wrote a great article on Rock My Style about an app called Zombie Run so I mightvgive that a go.
And I can totally relate to lying there awake when they’re asleep. Tayo was still actually asleep at 2am this morning. I’d been lying there for an hour waiting for him to wake up and then I actually got up to check on him. What’s wrong with us?! ?
Oh Becky you kill me. Tessa Jowell ? I was crying last night. Your insta stories have become essential viewing. But I guess it’s only funny because it’s SO RELATABLE. They annihilate our bodies, these kids.
Fern is over two now and I’ve only just found the energy, time and motivation to address The Elephant In The Room (which is actually ME. A literal elephant). Sorry to say I’ve no ace tips, I’m throwing money at the situation and have begun sessions with a personal trainer who is a post partum specialist. She’s got her work cut out – I’m a mess. We spend most of the session doing core strength work and focus on breathing technique. She’s helping me with my nutrition too. I’ve always been a bit snotty about faddy diets and more of a calorie controller myself but I have to say that reducing my carbs and upping my protein has really helped to curb my sugar cravings.
She doesn’t seem to have any solutions for the chin hairs though. Sigh.
Oh Philippa she sounds brilliant! I really think having an understanding about how food affects our body is essential to us becoming healthier and stronger. I wish there was more support post partum about nutrition and exercise in general. I’d love to find a PT who specialises in the postpartum bod so I can target everything I need to… my core is shot but I think the pilates will help that and hopefully in a gentle way… Slowly but surely is what I’m hoping for ?
Brilliant post. Can’t sympathise with periods (after both babies I had a coil, which I LOVE because it completely stops everything) but yes to everything else. I can’t say anything constructive though!
I’m lucky in that (completely undeservedly given my biscuit intake) post-pregnancy I seem to lose weight quickly so at seven months I’m lighter than before I got pregnant… however, my stomach is a stretched saggy disaster and my boobs, even at the height of breastfeeding, were only a B (now non-existent. Think I’m ready for pre-teen training bras. Which will be a great look with the Spanx I need to stop me looking five months pregnant every time I eat anything). Keep meaning to start Pilates to sort out my separated stomach muscles but just can’t find the time…
I could do with finding a good Spanx that doesn’t roll up the thigh. Not a good look. And I totally get that instant bloat too?!
I really enjoyed just being out of the house forvan hour on Tuesday night at my class. I literally spent an hour not thinking about anything. So. Nice.
Hi Becky,
Fab post as ever, thank you. Just a quick comment from me on the pelvic floor stuff – 16 months post partum I finally decided to do something about the weeing when I run and went to see a specialist physio. She is fab and I’d highly recommend seeing a professional (I was partly motivated to do it thanks to charlottes post a while back on the tummy muscle split thingy that I’ve forgotten the name of) but in the meantime download the NHS app “Squeezy” – the physio recommended it and it’s really good. 100x a day seems a bit ridiculous – this prompts (or nags, depending on your perspective) you 3x a day and has guidance on how to do it.
On the sugar thing, I was the same when my baby didn’t sleep – it was a case of whatever got me through, but I found as her sleep gradually improved then I naturally stopped eating so much sugar, without really consciously deciding to change, so don’t worry too much!
I was moaning the other day to the hubby about being run down and exhausted. He pointed out that I drink NOTHING but tea and coffee , eat dairy milk chocolate and chocolate biscuits and cake. So of course I’m going to feel crap. I kind of knew this already, but I can’t get out of the cycle of doooom! Exercising when I am 1) tired 2) have to work in the evenings 3) need a cup of tea 4) am scared I’ll loose too MUCH weight and become a lolly pop head.
It’s not happening.
I clearly don’t eat enough to fuel my body to do it anyway. I struggle to find the time too concentrate on rustling up something that doesn’t consist of fruit or the same as whatever kid sandwhich i’m making. Looking at it I basically eat the same as my 1 and 2 year old unless the hubby rustles something nice up for dinner!!
Hair loss . After 3. I had bald patches and couldn’t wear my hair up for months. I now have insane baby hair and it looks like I’ve cut a bad fringe. Currently also having a hair mid life crisis and I’m thinking of turning my long dark low maintenance hair blonde! Somehow I thought it might make me feel, fresher/sunnier/happier/better. When o reality it will add another thing to my body list that needs maintaining and an added cost of colour regrowth .
After our first baby my boobs kind of came back, the second bany, they didn’t get a chance as I breastfed then was pregnant. 3rd… they’ve gone down 2 cup sizes. I’m hoping they will get a little better! So I’m holding off the underwear for anything 6 months! personally I think it takes a good 6months after breastfeeding for them to know that you are not ‘using’ them anymore!
So I’m here with you *waves* being meaning to do a selfie sporting my regrowth on insta all brushed forwards onto my face and forehead but haven’t got around to it yet! Lol
Nothing like a supportive reality check from your other half is there Lisa! But actually Anthony has said the same to me, doing too much on a bad diet and severe lack of sleep could actually be rally detrimental. And let’s see that selfie!! ??
Thanks Katie, I hope it’s a temporary thing and to not have to think too hard about stopping the sugar consumption would be brilliant. I will definitely get the app, thanks so much for the recommendation xx
Another honest post, and made me feel better about myself to be honest. I’m in a constant cycle of keep fit and healthy diet for about 3 weeks and then back to chocolate cake and “I’ll go for a run tomorrow” routine and all this means is Spencer is 2 next week and I still have a wobbly tum and giant arse!
On the subject of periods mine have almost stopped and I am considering going back off the pill to let my body find it’s own way, in the 7 days off the pill it isn’t until day 5 that something happens so I’m not in sync with myself and that can’t be good can it?
With the biscuit addiction is it worth trying to start substituting for natural sugars, like fruit and more cocoa based chocolate, I know, I know fine words but I’d cave at the sight of a party ring or jammy dodger so who am I kidding?! x
Haha Claire! I bloody love a party ring or 15! I actually had two clementines the other day at my 3 o’clock shlump. They were nice and all but all the peeling of the white bits?! Didn’t really seem worth the faff when I can basically whip open a packet of chocolate digestives with the same skill an 18 year old man can flick off a bra! I could’ve eaten half the pack in the time it took me to peel! ?
Oh Becky this is a brilliant winge! I can identify with pretty much all of it! The crap bald patches/baby hair, tiny but saggy boobs and such a weak pelvic floor i almost wee’d myself in Waitrose the other day!
I don’t really have much advice to help other than whoever said it takes 9 months to grow a baby and therefore 9 months to get your body back must have exercised darn hard in the second 9 months as it doesn’t just ‘go back.’ I’ve found I’ve had to really work hard in the gym (am lucky there’s one 5 mins walk from my house…with a crèche so I have zero excuses!) and even then I’m still not the same shape and my tummy is much rounder 11 months post partum.
I have just invested a vast sum of cash in an Elvie (google it) to work on my pelvic floor. Hoping to see an improvement soon with my ‘most personal trainer’ ?
Anyhoo, similar to others above I’m planning a second baby soon so I guess I’ll tackle it all properly once I know I’m done for good.
Good luck with the jowl Becky! Thanks for bringing some humour to the situation lots of us find ourselves in and look forward to reading others recommendations. xx
Zoe I was talking about the Elvie yesterday whilst in a taxi with Charlotte and Fern! I hope it works for you… ??
Have you checked to see if you have a diastasis recti? That can lead to a dome shaped stomach… Charlotte wrote a post about it a couple of months back. Might be worth having a read just in case http://rockmyfamily.wpengine.com/diastasis-recti-muscle-seperation/ x
I sent that article to a pregnant friend when it was written as neither of us knew about it. It was very helpful, but alas my roundness is just down to cake!!
P.s turn that emoji upside down and that’s me me in Waitrose!!!
I know what you mean about staying hydrated!
One of the tricks I do in the summer is pop a quarter of frozen lemon in to my water bottle. If I leave it too late it has a horribly bitter taste and so I am far more inclined to drink slowly throughout the morning to avoid the nasty shock!
Last summer I ended up being able to get through 4 bottles of lemony water a day! Although that was when I remembered to keep it on my work desk!
I don’t have any other hints so will be watching the comments!
xx
I recognise a lot of this too!
At 10 months postpartum I also have a fluffy little baby hair fringe (looks extra rubbish when your hair is already short :/ ) and am attempting going cold turkey on chocolate having given it up for lent. On the exercise front I keep talking about starting a class (having been going to baby yoga before Christmas I’m really missing doing something active) or going for a run and not getting my arse in gear to get out the door. Still wondering when little one is going to get back into a good sleep pattern and in the meantime surviving on coffee and carbs, and trying to remind myself to switch to water every now and then – why is that so hard?!
Also, Becky, just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your (practically stream of consciousness) writing in this – and have been enjoying your Instagram stories too.
Although, on a more positive note I would like to say that my arms are probably the closest to amazing they’ve ever been!
Two and a quarter years on after having Hector and I still don’t feel like me. I have bouts of exercise but then a week later I’ve foregone my routine and it’s all back to square one so I feel your pain doll. There’s a spare tyre around my midriff and I hate the tops of my arms and I do wonder if I will ever go back to how I used to look.
But can I just say something…I think that you look blinking amazing. If I had looked half as fantastic as you do, six months after having Hector I would have been high fiving myself all the way to the biscuit tin (although I know this is little comfort when you aren’t happy with your own appearance). Please don’t be so hard on yourself as I think you look beaut!
From a more physical perspective – I’ve had incredible pain in my lower back which I finally saw the physio about just before Christmas. Turns out my bum muscles have switched themselves off…who knew they could do that? Shows how little I’ve been using them eh?
Oooh, I’ve been really suffering with my lower back. Could barely move the last few days. I just figured it’s my rubbish posture but stops me doing so much, including exercise. Edd told me last night to go see his Physic so perhaps I’ve got a lazy bum too?!! x
It was slightly embarrassing when the physio said come on clench those bum cheeks and I already was….really hard. Apparently they’d turned themselves off in pregnancy. Joy!
Great post. You are all gorgeous super women! You created life and are nurturing it. I am in awe.
One thing on sugar: increase your fat intake. Fat is not the enemy. Have some cheese, grill/fried halloumi on hand. Or peanut butter with oat cakes or an apple. I find this helps with my energy and sugar cravings. Although I don’t have them completely under control trip yet!
Oh Stef such excellent suggestions! I love a bit of halloumi too so this could be a winner!x
I can definitely identify with so much of this post! Ollie is 5 months next week and I’m finding it so hard to get back in shape. I walk the dog for an hour off the lead most days, but the exercise DVD I bought is still in its wrapper! I need to get back to the gym but it’s hard to find the motivation. I find it hard to snack healthily too, as a couple of years ago I found out I was allergic to lots of different fruits and so now I worry incase I have a reaction, and just eat chocolate or biscuits instead!
Feel like I shouldn’t be commented on this yet as I am not even post-partum yet (due in June) but I wanted to say thanks for the reminder – I’ve been doing my pelvic floors throughout reading this article & comments!
Haha Katie! I’m really glad you did comment because it made me LOL. Not long to go! 🙂 x
Thanks for this. I’m with you, biscuit laden (definitely landing on the hips) and sleep deprived – nearly 6 months in. You’re not alone. And as you point out, you did the most awesome thing in carrying and delivering your beautiful baby. I’ve started postnatal yoga which is so refreshing and my yoga teacher Leonie – Brighton Natural Heath – really focuses on us mummies in the class – making sure we realise we’re normal to still feel like this 6 plus months on – post natal recovery is a lot longer and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It is slowly sinking in! I also have a four hour sleeper from 7-10ish and then it’s every 1-2 hour- one day we’all prob miss this ‘extra special’ time with them that we had. Wishing you a lovely weekend, hoping Tayo surprises you with a longer kip. X
Amy it is SO good to hear that I’m not alone. We’ve been prepping some posts around sleep and I’m slowly discovering that actually what he’s doing is pretty normal so I’m starting to feel much better about it. It makes it all that more difficult when you feel like your the only one with a baby who doesn’t sleep through when everyone else’s baby seems to. Thanks so much for commenting x
Here goes!
Pelvic floor – do 5 lots of 10 when you brush your teeth morning and night 🙂
Also, I used the “Epi-No” for pre-birth with my baby. It gets your muscles used to pushing out a baby and essentially stretches you so you ping back into place – google it! I actually ended up with a caesarean delivery but all the exercises I did every night from week 36 mean that my pelvic floor is in tact despite the weight of baby in pregnancy. Any pregnant mummas – really recommend this, it’s totally worth the money and reduces risk of episiotomy by some crazy %. In France (I live in Paris) pelvic floor “re-education” is paid for by social security and every Mum goes a few times a week to someone who helps strengthen this muscle post baby. I find it crazy there is not the same in the UK.
Water – when I was pregnant, I bought bottled water (I know not good for the environment, I do feel bad about that) and made sure I drank a 2litre bottle everyday. You can also buy a re-usable bottle, fill with tap water and just make sure you don’t get through your day without finishing it.
Exercise & sugar – absolutely totally agree on the sugar thing. I have never had a sweet tooth, always being a starter and mains kinda girl but since breastfeeding I am searching cupboards for gone off chocolate! And exercise, I don’t make any concerted effort..I just walk around a bit with the push chair. Flabby tummy is not much fun though, and I have not yet started feeling remotely sexy again, due to said tummy and also the fact my boobs are now a feeding station..!
Great blog post, and think all mums out there are united in this feeling whether toned up or not! x
Pelvic floor re-education sounds amazing! x
Firstly, 6 months is NOTHING. Dont beat yourself up about it!
For pelvic floors, I have the NHS Squeezy app – it pings three times a day to nag me to do it & I am pretty good at ignoring it. Though, having had a fairly horrible back to back birth with baby no 1 resulting in a 3rd degree tear I saw a foof physio (not their real job title) after for a bit to check up on things & teach how to do pelvic floor exercises properly (!) and she said you should do pelvic floors for the REST OF YOUR LIFE EVERY DAY! At 34 wks preg now I REALLY should know better & do more. But it is a good app if you pay attention!
My tummy wasnt too bad after no 1 but having breastfed him for 13 months my boobs were like actual spaniels ears – so sexy. Only to get pregnant again and now they look pretty good! Though time will soon dampen that joy!
Good luck in your hunt for a better post baby body – though I believe a body that’s pushed out a human or two is pretty amazing and whats a bit of flab between friends?
Becky, have you looked into MuTu system that Charlotte recommended a few months ago? Its specifically for women who have had babies and particularly those who are struggling with either diastasis recti and/or pelvic floor problems. I’m also 6 months post partum and have been doing MuTu for the last 5 weeks – what a difference! https://mutusystem.com/mutu-system-feb
Would you recommend it Jessica? I’ve been dithering on whether to just bite the bullet and pay for it…
Lolly it has honestly been the thing that has made the difference for me. Its a 12 week programme and for the first 2 weeks you just walk every day and do 2 rounds of 8 minute ‘core’ exercises. Even when I moved on to the ‘intensive’ workouts I found them really manageable where so often I’ve given up because I just couldn’t do the exercises (burpees anyone??). They give you so many videos to watch and information that is specifically geared towards post pregnancy which I personally have found so reassuring. The price is in dollars but I think it worked out at around £75 and no word of a lie it really has been so worth it! xx
Hi Jessica, yes I did look into it and then immediately forgot about it! I feel like Im so bad at making time to do things whilst I’m in the house. Even if it’s for 20 minutes, something always seems to distract me!? Has it really made a huge difference to you? I might have to go for it I think with the few recommendations I’ve heard x
I have to say it really has made a difference and I am usually so sceptical about these things. I think because it lays it out week by week for you and you just follow along i’ve found it really manageable! The first two weeks are literally just walking and 2 rounds of 8 minute ‘core’ exercises a day and for a complete exercise phobe, I’ve actually enjoyed the ‘intensive’ workouts – probably because I can actually do them! (bloody Joe Wickes and his burpees & crunches)! xx
Great post – thank you for talking about it! I am 18 months down and am finally starting to feel a little more like myself, although I still have the odd gripe with my butt/tummy/arms/face – but then I don’t think I was ever totally happy before I got pregnant so possibly fighting a losing battle..! After giving birth I looked huge (I wasn’t, but I definitely puffed up!). I hated the way I looked and I feel very sad when I look at pictures of me at that time which is horrid as I can’t look at how wonderful the little baby I’ve given birth to is, only the fact that my face is round and my arms are podgy and I have that horrid belly. One picture in particular with my Dad I refuse to look at or show people, it haunts me. Like you, I also turned to sugar to combat sleep deprivation (months 4-7 actually made me wonder if I ever wanted another baby – spoiler alert, I do) which didn’t help, and I didn’t actually start to lose weight until I stopped breastfeeding (the old wives tales were definitely not true for me!) and Arthur started to sleep a little better, and even then because of SPD my old jeans didn’t fit because my pelvis still hadn’t quite corrected, which was annoying!
I’ve never been an exercise nut, I would much rather curl up on the sofa with a bag of Maltesers, but I started Mama and Baby Postnatal Pilates when I was eight weeks postpartum and I swear it was the best thing I could have done. I lost a little bit of weight but I have no issues with my pelvic floor now (sneezing used to be an extreme sport!) and it really helped correct the residual pain from SPD. Now I’m back at work I can’t find a class at a time that works for me, but I insist that my husband gets home once a week to take over the evening duties so I can get to a ballet class which helps me feel a bit more toned and is good for my mental health too – which I often finds impacts my weight a hell of a lot more than I realised!
Well, that was quite a whinge! Thanks for the outlet! And from what I can see you look incredible, so have another biscuit and give yourself a pat on the back for bringing two beautiful babes into the world! x
A Ballet class! That sounds like a great idea!! I had actually been wondering about some of dance as I’m not really an exercise fan so it would need to be fun too! Think I need to look into this in my area!
Definitely do! I hate running and tolerate weight training, but nothing beats a dance class for me! I used to do ballet until I was about 20, so thought I’d give it a go and I love it. Bit of cardio, bit of body weight resistance, an hour a week, just for me, and I’m knackered and sweaty by the end of it – perfect!
Sian I’m so happy to hear you’ve found something that works for you and I 100% agree on the whole mental health element of getting out the house and spending some time on yourself. It is so crucial! x
Sat nodding along to all of this! Now 10 months post baby and only just starting to feel like I’m getting back to some sort of normal, and that is still quite unlike the before-baby normal!
I was a bit smug after I’d just had my baby as I had only gained a few pounds from my pre-baby weight but what I did not expect was just how tired, weak and sore I would feel for about the next 10 weeks and just how many chocolate cornflake buns and flapjacks I would consume whilst watching every box set I could find on Amazon prime! I ended up just over a stone heavier before I decided to do something about it just after Christmas. I had tried briefly in September but just didn’t feel like it was the right time, so just made a few small adjustments rather than really going for any serious weightloss.
I’ve now joined slimming World and am already 16lbs down and although still breast feeding I went and bought myself a new bra and matching- yes MATCHING pants the other evening. It’s not a nursing bra so I will wear on work days but I just feel so much better! It took me quite a while to find nursing bras I was happy with and even then the matching pants (bizarrely all seem to be shaped for maternity) I found were completely unsuitable for a post baby tummy, especially if you have a c-section scar.
I think the next step is to try and tone up but finding time to exercise now I’m working full time is tricky, I have considered late night swims a few times but to be honest by the time the baby is in bed I’m not far behind! I think it’s just going to be a slow process and as you said our bodies are amazing which I keep reminding myself is far more important than what it looks like for a while!
OMG Sophie I am so with you on nursing bras! Why, when the target market is generally women in their late 20s and their 30s feeling shit after having had a baby, are all nursing bras BEIGE AND DISGUSTING! Unless you’re willing to spend £40 + on a bra that will be stained with milk & Lansinoh and sticky from breast pads and baby vom….. My biggest annoyance currently whilst searching for affordable nursing bras.
Sorry for major ranting!
Totally agree with this! I always feel better with nicer underwear on, but that ‘apparatus’ as my husband calls it brings me out in hives..!!!
“Apparatus” haaaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaaaa – so true!!
It is true! I was thoroughly disappointed with the M&S offering, I found Mother care were better but looked very worn very quickly after daily washes. The best I found were Debenhams but no matching pants which upsets me! My very favourite was from HotMilk, they are pricey but I got it in a sale for a bargainous £5! To be honest though I would have paid full price had I known how much better it was! I think once things have settled down and milk leaks and Lansinoh stains are less of an issue its definitely worth investing in decent nursing bras. I ceremoniously threw mine from the very early days!
Also, I used washable pads – not sure if you’ve looked at those but I found them to be much comfier and no sticky!!
Yes M&S are the worst culprits – especially when their “normal” bras are really quite pretty & would make me feel nice! Perhaps now “Rosie for Autograph” is preggers she’ll ‘design’ some sexy nursing/maternity bras!
I havent yet looked at Debenhams – last time around I had M&S gross ones but this time I have told my husband I am having two nice nursing bras even it is means beans on toast for a month!
I’ve looked at HotMilk & they do have nice ones – but not for a fiver – lucky you! Ive 6 weeks to find one and guess what size I’ll be! Good idea to get one nicer one further down the line. I also threw mine out from last time around – they were so worn.
M&S were dreadful, ugly and uncomfortable. Very disappointing. My favourite one (best of a bad bunch?!) were the Body Silk ones – if it’s good enough for Beyonce it’s good enough for me! Just plain black and looked a bit like a sports bra but still horrendous. I had to take the little pads out though as they made my boobs look utterly ridiculous..! Hot Milk have some really pretty bras but they didn’t fit me well. Cake Maternity I recall being quite pretty… Love a good rant about nursing bras!
Oh girls this little thread has made me so happy! I mist invest in matching undies ASAP! x
Get yourselves some underwired nursing bras. It will change your world I promise!
Best to wait until boobs have settled down, so I guess after 4 months-ish. But from that point underwire all the way!
I’m also sad at not being able to wear nice undies!
Unfortunately at my current size I have literally two choices of bra, and neither are particularly enticing – or cheap – and make me a bit of a funny pointy shape, to boot. I treated myself to a Hot Milk one at some point last year when it was on sale (so a mere £20…) but if I’m honest it’s a just about acceptable fit rather than a good one, on the other hand it makes me feel a bit more special.
Really looking forward to treating myself to some fab new bras (and, yes, probably matching pants) once I’ve settled at a post-breastfeeding size. And that will bring with it getting used to wearing an underwire again :s
I’m so glad it’s not just me with a biscuit problem!!! I don’t know what is happening but I can’t have them in the house anymore without eating all of them! My little boy is 18months and still doesn’t sleep through! I really want to exercise but the most I can manage is walking the dog with him tagging along so I don’t even go for my brisk walks anymore! Luckily all the running around after him all day seems to keep the weight at pay but I’d like to tone but struggle with the tiredness and just wanting to sit and relax when I do have a spare minute! This parenting gig is tough and I appreciate your complete honesty as I am celebrity obsessed and always compare myself to the kardashians who lets face it have nannies, chefs, personal trainers and the time to work out every day for hours!! Remember we’ve made a human. Our bodies will change and that’s ok.
Love this post Becky. So honest.
I’m currently 7 months pregnant with twin girls and my daughter turns 3 the day before the twins are due (great timing huh!) I was lucky enough to be pretty much back to normal by the time I got pregnant again (so over 2 yrs down the line bear in mind but I’m worried that this time around, I’m never going to be the same again! My daughter was 9lb born at 42 weeks so you can imagine I had a pretty extensive bump by that point, and my husband reckons I’m bigger now at 7 months than I was full term 1st time, so I’ve no idea what I’m going to look like in another 6-8 weeks, beyond repair probably!!!!!!!! Will be watching the comments section and bookmarking it for further down the line.
The sugar/biscuit craving whilst sleep deprived is totes normal. Once Tayo starts sleeping longer/dare I say it ‘sleeping through’, I’m sure you’ll see a noticeable difference in your biscuit consumption!
Right, I’m off to do some pelvic floor exercises which I haven’t started yet so this has been a great reminder that, especially with twins on board, I need to get my squeeze on!
x
Such a great post Becky…I love the stream of consciousness it has come out in!! Definitely my mind! ?
I’m only 9 weeks postpartum, so I don’t really have a right to moan just yet, but I’ve started doing some gentle exercise this week and my how much better I feel. I’m talking going for a brisk walk, not a spinning class or anything, but just having some time to not be on baby duty, or worrying about anything else has done me the world of good. I honestly think exercise does so much for your mental health, just moving in some way can make everything seem a tiny bit better.
Also totally glad I’m not alone on the sugar thing…I’m sure my “mum tum” is nothing to do with the babies but my biscuit consumption! ?
Love this post! And all the comments 🙂 I’m 12 months post partum and although I don’t need to lose any weight particularly, I despair at my trampoline tummy – I mean, I knew I never exactly had a six-pack but I thought at least I had some muscle there. But apparently not, judging by the wobbling I feel as I pound the pavements trying to get to work on time (getting myself, husband and baby out the door in the morning is impossible!).
So last weekend I decided to actually try and do something about it and joined a pilates class. It hurt. But I’m going back this week and am desperate to stick to it. If nothing else, it’s nice to have one hour a week where all you think about is your body, your breathing, and trying not to faceplant in front of the other more bendy people in the class.
On the drinking note, I bought three glass bottles from Ikea, fill them up with tap water and keep them in the fridge. Then in the morning (if I’m at home), I put one on my bedside table, one on the coffee table and one in the kitchen, with a glass in each place, so wherever I am in the house I see it and there’s no excuse not to stop and pour myself a glass. Sounds basic but it works. And then I can keep track of how much I’m drinking, too.
Great post! Post partum I felt I lost who I was, I couldn’t recognise my body and it was painful, uncomfortable, squirting milk left right and centre, it was all so foreign! I echo the comments on the pelvic floor, I got a referral and had good advice on how to do exercises properly and I ended up buying an electric exerciser, not fun, not glamorous but better than the alternative of sneezing leakage and good if you’re a bit slack on doing the exercises.
I am blessed with a fast metabolism so I was soon back to my previous-baby weight thanks to breastfeeding, But I actually couldn’t get enough calories into me and ended up going down to 7stone something, I had to go out and buy a belt to hold up my trousers, my legs were like matchsticks, when I went back to work my normal work clothes were all too big and I felt awful. I’m back to normal now after stopping breast feeding and rediscovering wine!
About to do it all again though so at least I know what to expect this time right?!
Ah yes! So happy to have found this post. I’m 6 months into number 2 and simply cannot get through the day without biscuits. I stopped buying ‘adult biscuits’ thinking I would not really eat my toddlers but oh no- is that a jammy dodger throw it in.. throw the pack in! I look huge, I feel huge and the scales say I am huge but despite constant biscuit munching don’t actually seem to be putting on any pounds (but not losing any either) I don’t care.. I feel I’ll address the biscuit issue when the younger one manages a whole night in his cot.