Unlike yesterday’s post where Naomi discussed her son Ethan’s tantrums for toys, Mabel’s diva strops are nearly always over food.
And I don’t mean a meltdown over melon. Or a wobbler over waiting for her dinner, it’s never a demand for something considered healthy or because she’s hungry even, it’s essentially a screaming/crying/stomping episode over the sugary stuff.
We’ve never deprived her of anything, she’s always had a fairly balanced diet. We’ve actively encouraged fruit and vegetables, which she does eat daily eventually, but if she had her way, Mabel would exist on a platter of chocolate buttons, cake and party rings.
She wakes up in the morning and asks for sweeties. She comes home from nursery and demands an ice-cream. Yes, even in February. I wonder if it’s just a phase. Or if it’s just in her genes – I have the most unyielding desire for junk known to man. Although I swear I don’t let her see me devour a handful of hobnobs for lunch, and gone are the days I could surreptitiously munch on a custard cream whilst she was safely in the next room watching Bing. The kid has exceptional biscuit radar, she’d literally be by my side in a flash “Mummy! What you got?!” swiftly followed by “Where’s mine?!”.
It’s not that I don’t ever want her to enjoy a treat. It’s just that I want her to understand exactly that – certain things are a treat. And that smarties are not a valid meal substitute. *note to self.
I’m just not sure where I’m going wrong. And it’s becoming exhausting.
I’ve tried a few of the “healthier” treat alternatives, Yoyos, Fruit Bowl “peelers”, those bear paw things that look like a bag of jelly tots. But she’s just not having any of it, and I suppose that fact is these things are not the same. It’s like when I embark on snacking on an almond and cacao energy ball rather than a Kitkat. The whole time I think how much I’d prefer a bloody Kitkat. And nearly always give in and end up eating both.
I know someone mentioned chewable vitamins in the comments section of one of my other features, and I really need to buy some – I feel this might be an option for the early morning breakdown when she’s told she can’t have endless fistfuls of raisins with her Rice Crispies.
I find many of the food and drink products aimed at children terribly misleading, my husband James and I have had many a discussion about it. The whole refined vs natural sugar debate. Isn’t sugar just sugar? in the grand scheme of things? I hear and read so many contradictory reports and alleged research, I’m not sure what to believe anymore.
Do you feel your littles have a balanced diet? What do you do when they flatly refuse to eat anything but a jammy dodger and a bag of Quavers? Are there any snacks/treats you can recommend that are easy to make or I can purchase from the supermarket that your children genuinely enjoy?
My 1.5 year old is a complete mystery to me. Sometimes he eats like anything, and at times he just stops eating though out the day, which make really tense at times. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
Hi Shaon, We do find that Mabel isn’t a big lover of lunch – she’ll eat breakfast then sometimes not want anything else until dinner (unless she says biscuits in-between of course). This is a mystery to me too.
I think you kind of have to take the food wins where you can when you do manage to get fruit and veg in them. My child turned her nose up at a lovingly prepared tuna pasta bake and demanded to know where the sausage was. And then had weetabix for her tea. *hangs head*
Anna, a weetabix tea is fine! Better than chips and ketchup – ketchup has become another meltdown inducing requirement to any meal put in front of Mabel. It’s a big dollop of it or she flatly refuses to sit at the table sometimes.
Sigh. Of all the myriad parenting challenges, for us, food is the biggest. Fern too has a sweet tooth like her Mum and Dad. I’m sure while a parenting expert could probably pick holes in our approach, but we’ve tried to be just like you when it comes to sugar and treats, Charlotte. Encouraging healthy alternatives, not making sugary things taboo, ensuring that Fern knows chocolate/cakes/unhealthy snacks are ok on occasion but most definitely not for every day. Fern reluctantly accepts this but I feel like I’m holding back a floodgate with it that any minute is going to burst forth.
I too am very confused about supposedly healthy dried fruit snacks and the refined/unrefined debate. I know people who will unreservedly supply raisins ( Fern would eat them until she were sick given the chance “Rayzeens Mummy. Please. MORE RAYZEENS!” ) but I understand they’re just as bad for teeth and the natural sugars in them as just as high as jelly tots.
I believe kids are hard-wired to crave the taste of sugar, that’s why breastmilk is sweet. It’s a primal, survival thing left over from the days when sustenance was scarce and high calorie, sweet things were essential for energy. But that doesn’t help us in 2017 when there are plentiful vegetables and protein in the fridge and artfullly arranged on the (Buddy + Bear) plate that are being refused by sugar-craving infants. Even the scant vegetables she’ll reluctantly nibble are the sugary ones; sweet potato, carrot, sweetcorn.
At Fern’s nursery, one of their core values is to promote the idea that sugar is poison. And yet wonderful as they are, they sometimes include cakes and biscuits as options some days for snack bar. It’s like we’re fighting a losing battle. It’s all very well us trying to push the idea that these are treats for special occasions only, and while a small undeveloped mind may understand that, they lack the self control to apply it to their own desires.
Once again, thanks for making us feel like we’re not alone in this. Sorry I have zero useful advice or tips but I will watch eagerly to see if others do…..
Gosh – sugar is poison, that’s hardcore. We try to explain about sugar being bad for your teeth and so she has to make sure her teeth are VERY clean, it seems to have sunk in but now she is less adverse to cleaning her teeth, rather than giving up on the sugar in the first place.
The Raisins thing is an odd one, My Dad (retired Dentist) says they are the worst thing ever for kids (he spent some of his career treating children in less affluent areas who essentially had tooth decay at 2 years old, so sad). Yet they are marketed as “natural” and as if they are “good”. John Lewis have them on display as part of their kids meal deal thing in their cafe, as well as dried apricots which if you read the nutritional info on the back, have basically an adults daily sugar allowance in just one tiny bag.
Can you tell we went to John Lewis recently and rather than enjoy my coffee I was sat there in the cafe getting on my soap box exasperated and confused?! The joys and excitement of parenthood!
We’re lucky that Freddie adores vegetables, to the point that when he’s finished his own he will then steal everyone else’s! But he is also obsessed with chocolate! We did pretty well to start with but since he discovered chocolate babyccinos and we used chocolate as bribery when potty training it’s a different story!
I’m quite good at saying no and offering an alternative but my husband is the naughty one, he likes a treat himself so doesn’t see the harm in allowing Freddie the same. They go to Costa together and the ladies that work there are all charmed by Fred and they come back with a bag full of free cake – how can I then say no you can’t have any?! Not sure I’m being helpful here but just to say even when you’re lucky enough to have a toddler who loves veg they still want the white stuff!!!
I too have no useful tips to share, but I’m glad I’m not alone. In fact, while I was reading your post, E leaned out of the window of her Cozy Coupe and demanded “Mummy! cakes!”
A few months back when I hadn’t given her chocolate yet, she spied an empty Wispa wrapper one day and ran around squealing ‘Chocky! Chocky!’ I knew then I had a sweet tooth on my hands.
Like everyone, I guess I try to choose the healthier options most of the time. I don’t have a stock of sweet treats in the house (which helps) and I also try to ignore the marketing of overpriced ‘healthy’ kids snack brands, I too get a bit confused over the refined/unrefined sugar thing!
I suppose it’s all about everything in moderation. We do our best and that’s all we can do! Xx
On a side note, it doesn’t help that even toys ALL come with fake treats. Tea sets all come with pretend cakes and a sugar bowl, toy shops come with chocolate, ice creams and sweets, dolls house sets often have a perfectly laid cake table… the idea of cakes and sweets as treats is reinforced from almost every angle from the youngest of ages!
We will never win x
I’ve probably told you a million times that my girls have a terrible diet. Biscuits, chocolate and a hell of a lot of cake. I’m lucky if I can get them to eat one bit of vegetables, that is a good day. They will eat some fruit like grapes or strawberries but it is minimal. I do try and make all manner of healthy snacks but they still prefer shop bought. I can send you all sorts of recipes but I’ve made my own oat bars using exactly the same ingredients as the ship bought ones but they won’t touch them. I make my own fruit leather which they do like but that is still high in natural sugars. I have been trying really hard recently to cut back. When they come in from school I no longer reach for the biscuit jar but instead they have some toast or a sandwich and then I do tea much earlier for them. Chocolate has in the main been saved for the weekends and a friday night treat after school but there are exceptions. Like when Grandma comes round or grandad or any family member who bring treats! I’ve been swapping the custard creams for rich teas and they absolutely love Malt Loaf and the Banana Loaf version so that is a good option in our house. None are by any means healthy but I figure they are a step in the right direction. xx
Lottie I’d love some of your recipes!! Xx
I’ll pop some together in a post for you Karen xx
Perfect! Thank you lovely x
I had some real issues with food myself so I’m quite hard lines with my daughter. She can throw the biggest strops she likes but I won’t give in. If she doesn’t eat her tea she doesn’t get pudding as she clearly isn’t hungry enough for her tea. It’s a bit like sleep training, a battle of wills.
Don’t get me wrong, she has a biscuit if we go out for a babycinno which we do a lot but she doesn’t get a biscuit if she asks.
I do have to hide vegetables in a lot of food which I said I’d never do but I figure providing it’s going in, that’s a win.
Me too. Hiding veg always seemed (and still does feel) wrong but I do it now. There’s a hidden 7-veg recipe on the Jamie Oliver site that is really good and Fern will eat…
They always say when you start weaning that a baby needs to try something like a dozen times before they’ll get into it, surely that still stands as they get older. I know the frustrations but I’d rather put carrots on a plate for 2 weeks and them not be eaten than hide them. They’ll eventually get there and then also understand what their eating. When Spencer get a little older (he’s 2 next month) I want to get him in the kitchen with me. I think encouraging them to help in the kitchen will prove useful. If they’re involved in what they eat then they’ll be more interested in eating it. x
Hmmm….sceptical mother of an over two here. We hit issues with food about 2 and a quarter. Before that, she’d eat much better.
We don’t have an issue with carrots, sweet potato, sweetcorn or peas. Just green food. I do give spinach or brocolli whole which she leaves but I’ll whizz it in a sauce and it gets eaten. So what I’m saying is that we do both but she’ll only eat the hidden stuff. At least I know she’s getting some of it that way.
I’m the same about hiding veg, I kind of want him to see it and get used to it. But that Jamies 7 veg sauce is amazing. We use it all the time for pasta sauce and soup!
Oh I need to find the recipe for this! Sounds so useful x
Rebecca I do think I need to not give in as easily – James and I were discussing it in general last night (with regards all demands/tantrums, not just food). We have tried the no dessert tactic and she has literally screamed for over an hour in protest. I have one strong willed little girl. Perhaps we need to just work through the pain barrier.
I tried working through it Charlotte. It didn’t work. I’m pleased to say Alice grew out of the Tantrums so hopefully Mabel will too. She still constantly asks for biscuits but doesn’t have a strop if she doesn’t get one. xx
Sarah Wilson I quit sugar has a kids friendly cook book including a homemade Tomato ketchup
Feel your pain. Major tantrums over here too. I really try not to let it bother me but when she’s yelling ‘NO MUMMY I AM VERY CROSS WITH YOU’ I just want to cry ?
I then feel INSANELY guilty about being so mean.
In all seriousness I had a tantrum buddy. She was amazing. She was a good friend with children 2 years ahead of mine and they were happy and really well behaved. She moved to America a few years ago so I have no idea what to do anymore as my parenting strategy was just to do what ever she did, and thats harder over facebook, but I vividly remember watching her deal with issues in play centres, dinner table, restaurants and she nailed it …and calmly. She sat with me for an hour and a half at the other end of the phone while my eldest had the longest tantrum known to man (strong willed babies are my speciality too) and talked me through it all and I couldn’t believe it when she finally backed down. I only needed to win that one and we never went through anything to that scale again. Her rationel was that we are teaching our children how to communicate – so if we let them scream, kick and get upset and eventually give in they will learn that they need to escalate to that in order to get the things they want and it becomes a habit. They pick up things fast. Put like that it actually feels far more mean to give in that in does to say no. Its then just a case of teaching them how to ask calmly and sometimes have to take no for an answer… a little easier said than done and each of my children have been a totally different. I really need her back now to help with No 3!
What a great friend! And brilliant advice. I totally buy the psychology of this approach.
My oldest is similar and I have no idea what to do. We try not to promote sweet things as a reward as I don’t think that’s healthy either. We offer him as balanced diet but he would eat only mini eggs given the choice!
I also have really strong feelings about the attitude we promote towards food to our children. I really dislike food being labeled ‘naughty’ or ‘guilty’, I don’t think it’s a good seed to plant in childrens’ brains. I try really hard not to talk that way myself since having them. There’s certain foods that we don’t have every day – cake for example but also strawberries so I try to label anything ‘out of the ordinary’ as treats rather than just sweets/chocolate/cake.
No idea if this is the right thing to do! Grateful to hear I’m not the only one stumbling through the food minefield xxxxx
This reflects my view too. I also hate things being labelled as “naughty” for kids or adults. And now I think about it, the labelling of anything out of the ordinary as a treat has had some success here (raisins cone under this heading too)
I think this is really interesting approach, and one I’d like to adopt, but I’m curious how to make it work when sweet stuff is seen as the treat food in society in general (and especially from grandparents and aunties).
I buy smoothies for my little boy (innocent do fruit and vegetable ones) and he thinks it’s a treat but it’s a sneaky way of getting something good into him. He also thinks malt loaf is chocolate bread so that’s a winner in our house
We sneak in a vegetable/fruit smoothie at Costa sometimes Laura. The problem is afterwards Mabel still asks for biscuits/cakes! But then I guess with such a massive glass display of treats I can’t say I blame her.
I find it hard to tell them not to eat the things that I eat. “No you can’t have a biscuit because you didn’t finish your dinner” then 5 minutes later I’m hiding in utility eating one myself ?
By far the most stressful aspect of Spencer as a toddler is food. I hate mealtimes. I personally hate the mess and the indecision and the waste and then the worry that he hasn’t eaten enough. A colleague of mine has two boys and one eats for England while the other is completely indifferent so that has taught me that they all have their own ways and they aren’t about to starve themselves so if Spencer isn’t too bothered by lunch for a few days I try not to stress out (try being the word).
When it comes to treats I really try and rein it in because I’m so concerned about him enjoying his three square meals but like so many of the best laid plans I always have a pain au chocolate and a bucket of raisins and blueberries in my bag, I am lucky that he loves fruit and that seems to give him the sweet fix he needs (and blue poo). It’s all moderation in the end, although I do steer clear of the specific baby made snacks because as much as they preach ‘natural’ ingredients they never look very natural so I’d rather he just had a bourbon biscuit with me. x
I’m glad you’ve said that Claire, I find going out for food with Mabel very trying, to the point I would rather not bother. The mess, the shouting, the waste of what is often a fairly expensive “childrens” portion…
I wonder at what age it will be better?!
I still try where possible not to buy children’s portions as they are so expensive. We go with the extra plate and something off ours.
Hi Helen, we used to do this, and then Mabel started throwing a fit as she wanted “her own dinner” so to avoid shouting/strops in restaurants (I probably shouldn’t be as bothered by other folks disapproving looks but I appreciate they are paying for a nice lunch out too) ….we started to give in. But you are right, they are so expensive, and so much goes to waste.
And when you think you’ve cracked it by ordering something they have always enjoyed and you’ll have a nice meal only for them to ruin it by suddenly declaring they hate it, that’s always awesome isn’t it? x
It does get better. My eldest is now 4.5 and has always been a fussy eater. But in the last year things have got a lot better and he now eats what I would say is a decent range. He’s never going to be one of those kids that eats sushi but we don’t have to only go to restaurants that serve pasta in cheese sauce! We even had a family trip to Wagamama the other day.
And it’s also so true that siblings can be different. My one year old is an eating machine and usually eats as much as his big brother and finishes first!
This article on BBC news seems particularly apt for this discussion –
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39067088
I’m very lucky in that my little one is a “good eater”. Sure we have mealtimes where she point blank refuses to eat things / throws her entire plate of food on the floor but in the main she’s happy to eat what we put down in front of her. If she doesn’t we don’t offer an alternative and we don’t offer pudding. I don’t stress about how little she eats some days, it’s not as if she’s about to keel over from malnutrition!
Before we had our daughter my husband and I would go out for brunch / lunch / dinner most weekends and we didn’t stop that when she arrived. I remember reading a book about French children which explained they are taught how to eat just like they are taught how to read and that kind of clicked for me.
What I struggle with is variety, particularly for lunches. Does anyone else feel like they serve the same rotation of meals over and over?
Yess!!!!
Lunches seem to be cheese/tuna sandwich/beans on toast/poached egg on toast and if I have left overs to give her from the night before, I feel as though I am winning at life….
M is a ‘good eater’ too and yesterday she even shocked me eating half a grapefruit! She tries new foods with gusto and its not very often she doesn’t like something……I know I am lucky with her eating, but you try taking her up for a bath if she wants to watch Chuggington/Tree Foo Tom on the ipad……!!
Most of my 2 year olds tantrums seem to revolve around food – not just sweet treats, but food in general… last night he had a full on meltdown because I wouldn’t let him eat a third dry Jacobs cracker. Don’t get me wrong, he’d always choose ‘cakey’ over most other food, but he’ll just as happily munch on a bread roll or a banana. I worry because he just never seems full up, I sometimes think he would constantly eat if we let him! The problem is knowing whether he’s actually hungry, or just being greedy!
I am currently weaning my 7 month old. He will eat pretty much whatever I give him, but I can def see a light in his eyes when I give him something sweet. Has anyone tried not giving sweets at all, ever and had any success? Also when do they become aware of what you are eating? I pretty much spend all of my time preparing healthy , interesting food for him, and eat biscuits for lunch myself…
This is SO us right now…..
Noah has just never really been bothered about food (apart from cake and chocolate) I cook all these super healthy caserols and he looks at it and say’s ‘yuk’.
Then we go through the whole faff of ‘here comes Thomas the Tank Engine’ with his spoon and meal times become stressful and just a big pantomime (we have even been known to clap and whoop hysterically if he manages to eat one mouthful of caserol). The Health Visitor said its normal for 2 year olds to be like this as there are much more interseting things going on but its hard when I have friends with kids who are ‘super eaters’ and love food and will happily sit at the table and eat everything that’s put in front of them.
I sneak fruit into his diet by whizzing up a smoothie and thank you Tesco for introducing free fruit for kids while shopping! He loves munching on an apple while I shop.
Breakfast is usually the easiest meal of the day where he will eat a big bowl of porridge but lunch and dinner is hit and miss. I do worry constantly that he doesn’t eat enough but he is healthy enough and full of beans (not literally!) x
I’ve been umm-ing and ahhh-ing over whether or not get involved in this discussion. I’m actually petrified that I’ll come across as holier than than thou. But we’ve been through the mill when it comes to sugar so thought I’d share.
For various health reasons I had to wean myself off sugar a couple of years ago for four weeks. It was the single most hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was like coming off a drug. It prompted me to start looking into sugar and it’s effects.
Then at Easter last year, Ethan had a few too many Easter Eggs which resulted in him getting the most distressed he’s ever been, truly truly distraught. The sugar high (and crash) was too much for him. We had started noticing some behavioural issues around sugar before this. But Easter was the last straw, so Gavin and I made some changes to his diet and haven’t looked back.
I have since brought sugar back into my diet, but only in small amounts (albeit daily) and of higher quality. But Ethan’s diet is now mainly a daily balance of carbs (of which sugar factors only very occasionally), protein and good fats.
We’ve got a good handful of strategies in place to deal with sugary treats: rules for if he can eat them, when he can eat them etc. Because I honestly believe that depriving him altogether in childhood is just going to result in adult binging. But we’re strict about the boundaries. And I honestly find that the more healthy fat he has in his diet, the less he craves sugar (same is true for me).
As for good things to make/buy as sugary substitutes… Ethan’s a huge fan of frozen banana blended with cacao powder (not the same as cocoa powder) and thinks it’s chocolate ice-cream. He also loves these little guys as a weekend treat: http://amzn.to/2lCkPSy. A recipe I make monthly and freeze as a treat are these carrot & raisin muffins (they’re so good I have to stop myself from devouring the whole batch) http://bit.ly/2lMsqQH
Naomi thanks for sharing. And I’m with you, I know Mabel definitely has quite epic crashes if she has too much sugar during the day (and by that I mean breakfast, snacks then something or other at lunch AND for dinner) and her behaviour can be quite manic. I think the process you went through (and are sticking to) is very admirable. I have an operation at the end of March and afterwards I’m essentially taking 2 weeks off to recover/rest. It doesn’t mean I can’t do ANYTHING but I’m going to try and use the time wisely – perhaps really asses my own diet/sugar issues and try out some new recipes an whatnot. I’m going to try the banana ice cream trick and also have a go at the carrot and raisin muffins x
Ok well, I’m pretty strict on this stuff but my children do love a sweet treat and this will always be a bit of a battle.
The 2 things I would say help me out the most are firstly to avoid any sugar at breakfast. I’m not on the ‘sugar is poison’ club but it is addictive. I know for myself that I can be totally fine, not even that hungry, and feel confident enough to approach just one biscuit… why does that ALWAYS lead to 4 packs?! I think that if my children are starting the day with an addictive taste in their mouths what hope do they have against the rest of the temptations the day holds? So its a strict cereal cupboard of weetabix, shredded wheat or porridge our house. Boring… but makes special days and birthdays super exciting when we get real actual croissants!
The other thing is that I’ve found to help, particularly with Niema (2) is that, rather than saying “no” when she wants things she sees, I try to enter into her excitement and plan it in for another time we can look forward to. e.g. she wants an ice cream at the park so I’ll say “Yum, they look really tasty…I know… maybe we can all come to the park with daddy soon and we could all try one? Which one do you think Daddy will choose? etc.” This has honestly worked for us and I’ve gotten away with buying her just one ice cream and she’s had one at home in her whole life. She looked forward to them both and really enjoyed how exciting it was and talked for hours about the sprinkles. She now has a fair understanding that ice creams are not a thing we have every time we go to the park so she now doesn’t expect one and is less likely to moan or even ask. Despite the comments from the wider family about my ‘poor deprived children’ they seem like perfectly content, happy little people who enjoy so much in life and it is so much nicer to go out places without the constant pestering for everything they see. I always think of what a nice boy Charlie Bucket was compared to Augustus Gloop and that keeps me going through a particularly tricky negotiation!
Haha Amanda, I get the ‘poor deprived children’ comments from wider family too!
Amanda your plan for “another time” seems very sensible. I’m not sure Mabel is easily persuaded and unfortunately is more inclined to have a meltdown there and then “But I want one now!!!”. Ha ha. I will definitely try this approach next time though, see if I can reason it out! x
An awful incorrigible sweet tooth is genetic in my family.. My mum, me and my eldest daughter. It seems to lessen during the second half of your thirties but never goes completely. My other daughter and son are normal…
I encourage cakes, chocolate and biscuits over ‘sweeties’. I have a rank of sugar treats it would appear.
I am very, very ‘rolly eyes’ about the current anti sugar hysteria. Sugary * treats* are NOT the cause of the current obesity crisis. Sugar and alcohol once very definitely kept me alive as a GP tried to kill me so I, for one, will never give up either. Lifesavers. Ahem.
We’re very lucky in that my son doesn’t like chocolate, but he does like REALLY sweet things like Haribo and cake icing! We tried really hard in the first 18 months or so not to give him things like this but now he’s coming up to 4 and he goes to parties, his nursery pals bring in ‘treats’ to celebrate their birthdays etc it’s just so much more difficult. I do think everything in moderation and as long as they’re not eating sweet stuff all the time we’re all doing ok.
The other point I wanted to highlight though is this preoccupation with no giving ‘refined sugar’. As you said Charlotte, sugar is sugar in whatever it’s form. The muffin recipe above, for example, has 4 tablespoons of honey and maple syrup per batch, plus a load of raisins. This does not make it sugar free! Maple syrup is sucrose, exactly the same make-up as white table sugar. I’m all for reducing the amount of sugar in children’s diets but I think we need to remember not to get too hung up on it!
Total agree with this Laura. When I had to go off sugar for medical reasons, there were a lot of natural sugars I couldn’t have too like honey, maple syrup, dates and high GI fruits.
I only use the maple syrup in that recipe (the carrots make it nice and sweet) and it’s definitely reserved for a treat. I think the argument for natural sugars though over refined is that they offer more by way of nutrients and antioxidants rather than the empty calories of refined sugar.
I alluded to the daily food battles in my sleep post a couple of weeks ago so I feel all of your collective pain. Hector is not a big eater, never has been. He’ll go some days barely eating at all and then have a ‘hungry day’ where he’ll demolish everything in sight. I’m not going to lie, there’s been times where I’ve wrung my hands at the kitchen sink asking my mum over and over why he won’t eat anything. And it’s the same at nursery on some days too with the comment ‘refused lunch’ in his daily activities book. Thinking rationally however (without my stressy mum head on) kids won’t starve themselves and generally I think they take a more pragmatic approach to food than maybe adults do; eating for fuel rather than pleasure although I know this isn’t always the case. I’ve always been strict on the sugar side of things too – there was one such time where I very dramatically went a bit mental at some of Ste’s family trying to give Hector chocolate cake at nine months old. Regardless he wasn’t a fan of anything sweet until I suppose about six months ago and now it’s become a bit of an issue. We ration it – he’s not allowed anything sweet at school and treats are saved until the weekend or say for example a family birthday or a trip away. That doesn’t stop him from rushing in after nursery to the biscuit drawer and pulling out a couple of M&S’s finest (true story – all biscuits have now been moved to higher ground!) or demanding an ‘EGGG!’ whenever we drive past the corner shop. We have the inevitable tantrum when we say no but I think it’s a case of standing firm (well we’ve found it works for Hector anyway) and giving them boundaries to push against. But being firm is no easy feat – these kids have strong wills – and there have been times where I’ve been tempted to give him the bloody egg whilst I down a vat of wine.
My three year old is the same! We never overly had treats but nothing was banned and you’d still think it’s the first time he’d tried a biscuit he’s junk food obsessed!
Nairns do. chocolate oatcakes that pass as a biscuit prett well, Waitrose sell chickpea crisps that look like cheese puffs and dark chocolate is good for you right 😉
As she gets older you’ll be able to reason and explain more I wouldn’t stress too much!
Another one of these tricky subjects where so many people have plans that work for them yet seem so alien to others and vice versa. Sometimes our monkey will eat everything in sight – sweet, savoury, dog biscuits if she gets a chance – other days she just doesn’t seem fussed about food at all. It’s tough to see the dog hoovering up a dinner from the floor that I just spent an hour on and that went down a treat last time. But I just keep telling myself food is not a battleground for us. She is well and healthy and few days light eating won’t do her harm. She’s only 19 months so still plenty time for her start demanding sugar on a regular and loud basis. Sweet treats are definitely on the menu from time to time as I’d like her to approach food as a little of everything is OK. I do think forbidden foods have extra allure. And in the meantime, toast and peanut butter is her go to snack….and only sometimes shared with the dog!
My older daughter is obsessed with chocolate and biscuits, and it’s a constant battle to keep them as a treat. As she gets older it’s become easier to reason with her and we chat a lot about having lots of different things to eat rather than the same things over and over again. She loves broccoli and views that as a treat when she gets it, but she hates fruit (which as a toddler got me a lot of judgey looks).
Personally, I’ve been trying to lose the last of my baby weight (from having her sister) and cutting back on sugar has made a huge difference (1 and a bit stone down and only a few lbs to go). I had a really bad habit of a slice of traybake at soft play, a bit of cake at playgroup, a can of coke to get me through the afternoon… And when I added it up I realised just how much sugar I was having every day. Since cutting back (not completely… I don’t want to be that boring person at parties!) one huge side effect has been E not eating as much sugar. She’s not seeing me eating biscuits and cakes, we don’t have them in the house, and it’s very much become a case of “well Mummy’s not having chocolate so I don’t get any either”.
Ah!!! I’m so here right now with Orson! His dinners are just a right off! We’ve figured out he’s more of a breakfast and lunch person so we tank him up with food earlier in the day so we don’t dress out at dinner time!! He’s either dancing or singing or spitting out munched food at dinner time, or often building mountains or houses with whatever it is!
Problem is he’s too blimin cute to shout at so I’ve given up for now! Pick your battles! Heres one of his usual sing songs!! https://www.instagram.com/p/BQvjOcQD30F/
I’m so glad to read all these comments, my daughter has always been a very picky eater and really wasn’t interested in food at all until she was about 18 months. She’s 2.5 now and eats a reasonable quantity but only a very limited amount of foods. She is very reluctant to try new things and I feel like she basically eats the same things day in day out. She loves chocolate and biscuits (quite a recent thing) and I personally try to stay relaxed about it all. I don’t ordinarily have chocolate in the house so that’s a treat about once a week ish… biscuits are more or less every day but only one or 2. I must admit she doesn’t really make a big fuss about them though if I say we haven’t got any so I’m quite lucky there. However her eating (or lack of) has frustrated me to tears on many occasions, I feel like every other child eats ‘normally’ except mine sometimes!! I’m trying to be relaxed about it all though as the older she gets I’m worried about giving her issues with food and it becoming a negative experience for her which could lead to eating problems in future. You can only do your best as a parent and thank god for vitamin supplements! ? X
This really is a tough one for me as my daughter LOVES sweets and chocolate and is so strong willed (she’s a red head!) that I have given in to the paddy in the past. It’s also hard because she’s with the grandparents two afternoons a week so they like to give her something sweet as a ‘treat’ too. I’ve tried asking them nicely not to but they just ignore me! We try and limit to one ‘treat’ a day be that a couple of squares of dark chocolate or a little cake/cookie if we are out or if there’s a massive bag of sweets in the cupboard that her nana has bought her then a couple of sweets. Some people may think that’s a lot – to have a sweet treat everyday but I am a firm believer of everything in moderation. I make sure she has at least 2 to 3 portions of fruit and/or vegetables a day and she will sometimes take the fruit/veg snack option over the chocolate so she can’t be that brainwashed by the sugar! I don’t buy sweet stuff apart from a bar of dark chocolate so it isn’t like she knows its there and she has to have it! If I buy it I eat it too so I just don’t buy it!
I find good snacks are toast/bread, breadsticks, cucumber, peppers, rice cakes etc. Although my daughter also has to have ketchup with pretty much every meal and even dips her chopped veg and ham sandwiches into the red stuff (FFS!!)
I think most kids get into this stage at some point.
My two are bad for it, but the tantrums are subsiding a little. My four year old gets pudding every day at school, so the half term holidays have been a little bit of a sugar withdrawal for her, as we try not to let her have cake everyday. So lots of demanding treats and sulking from her.
I’m pregnant so there is always chocolate in the house at the moment, but we are going to have to rein it in after the baby is born and stop buying so much sugar! That also goes for the crunchy nut cornflakes currently being demolished.
I have had some success with 70% dark chocolate. The kids are happy with it as its chocolate, and there’s not that much sugar in it, so it’s a fairly good balance.
I also keep reiterating that treats are not good for our tummies… over and over again!
Good luck!
This is such an interesting topic!
I have a book coming out next week which has lots of fast, healthy recipes without sugar.
http://amzn.to/2g53Fud
But I’m going to write a little piece too I think for you guys.
Loved reading all these comments!!
Lizzie
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